home | profile | guestbook


Dried Tears... not in vain

recent entries | past entries


m&ms487

:: 2007 17 March :: 2.45pm

Just got done cleaning the dorm and my side of the bedroom. Started at ten. Ugh.

At least it's clean...three bags of trash later...

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 15 March :: 12.03am

So, Barack Obama. Yeah. He pretty much makes we want to cream my pants. Figuratively speaking, at least.

I just got done watching him give a speech at a fire fighter conference on C-Span. Of course, it was a lot about his campaign, and his stance on ISSUES.


Anyway, for all of you complaining that he doesn't have a stance, he does, and here are a few of them:

1. Iraq War: He is currently drawing up a plan (with other Senators) to withdraw troops from Iraq. He has never believed that war was the way to go and that the war has no military solution, and we shouldn't be in the middle of another country's civil war. His plan outlines that troop withdrawl begins May 2007, and ends ten months later on March 1, 2008.

2. Health Care: America spends more than any other country in the world on health care (about $8 billion), yet there are many families who avoid doctor visits because they cost more than they make in a week. He, along with other Democrats, really believe in Universal Health Care. I know, I know, I'm not quite sure how this would all work. But, it's worked for Canada and Great Britian, and everyone would be covered.

3. Veterans/ War Injuries: Of course issues like the Walter Reed Veteran's hospital have been really upfront lately. He is encouraging more funding for Veteran hospitals, and healthcare for veterans in general.

4. Energy: Wants to start working with car manufacturers to use technology already in place to be less dependent on oil. This way, we won't have to fight other country's civil wars to make sure they don't jack up oil prices on us. Hmmm.....
[edit] and by jack up oil prices, i'm talking about them cutting us off so that the price goes up and our economy goes into chaos, you know, the whole supply and demand thing...or blackmail..or whatever they call it nowadays.

If we don't rely on oil, we won't have that problem, that's all i'm saying.

5. Education: Stop making requirements so stupid. No Child Left Behind says that you either improve, or we take more money away from you. Hmm, wouldn't you think that if the government took away funding, the school would do WORSE? That's not what the current administration is saying. Anyway, Barack wants to increase funding for schools and dramatically alter the means by which schools get that money (i.e., oh, lets think, if a school is doing bad, how about we give them more money, so they can hire more qualified teachers, and so they can get text books that aren't from 1983). Plus, he wants to increase teacher salaries to make them comparable to other like jobs in the United States. What an idea! Actually paying those people in charge of the intelligence of our next generation! Who wudda thunk it~

Anyway, there are a couple things, and some rantings. Please feel free to comment, I know you would anyway.

17 moos | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 14 March :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: awake

"This is not a clash of civilisations or religions, and it reaches far beyond Islam and America, on which efforts are being made to focus the conflict in order to create the delusion of a visible confrontation and a solution based upon force. There is indeed a fundamental antagonism here, but one that points past the spectre of America (which is perhaps the epicentre, but in no sense the sole embodiment, of globalisation) and the spectre of Islam (which is not the embodiment of terrorism either) to triumphant globalisation battling against itself."

-Jean Baudrillard

It's too bad he died last Tuesday.

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 12 March :: 9.41am

I walked outside this morning and it was grey and raining.

This is the happiest I've been in a long time.

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 11 March :: 2.48pm

Back at Central. I had a nervous break down during work yesterday. We had a "Ram Pride" day, and it was loud and there was horrible karoke and cheerleaders, and they made us wear orange shirts. Plus there was a ton of people, and the ones that weren't all "yay rams!!" were really pissed off.

Plus, the management was being a bitch, and then we got slammed later in the day when everyone went home.

But at least I have two months off before summer and i have to do that everyday.

Ed meeting at six. Preamble: Check. Scavenger hunt: Check. Quiz review: Check.

Michelle

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 7 March :: 8.25pm

Oh god. My mother.

Rueben and I are moving probably moving in together next year up at Mt. Pleasant, and for many reasons, but the main one being money. It's so much cheaper to live outside of town than in a dorm. My mother doesn't like the idea of us living together because we aren't married. She has told me flat out that it's immoral and she doesn't understand why we have to live together. She also said that she thinks if we live together now, we won't get married, or if we do, we won't value it as much.

I could not disagree more. We are from two very different generations. If she wanted me to be conservative, then she should have raised me like she was raised, being Catholic and getting yelled at all the time for doing things that weren't normal. How can she pass judgement on my life, what I want to do, when she all she does is complain about her life. She complains about my dad every time I'm home. All day. Every day. She complains about how my brother and I don't do enough around the house (and I'm not even there). She complains about work and drinks way too much when she's alone here because my dad works third shift and she works first.

My feelings have been clashing so much lately. I've been at home, work, and observing at school. I feel like I'm being drawn back and reliving the past ten years of my life. It's nice, it's comfortable, because it's what I'm use to. But then, being here for only a couple days reminds me why I was so anxious to get the hell out of here. It's things like that which made me move sixty miles away and limit contact to a few ten minute phone conversations a week. I don't miss it as much as I thought I did. It's not worth feeling "normal" to be here and having to consider any other people's judgement but my own. I know I'm young, but I know what I want in life. I know the difference between right and wrong, and I know how to treat others with respect. I don't need other people telling me how to live my life, especially when they don't know what kind of situation I might be in.

Rant is done.

2 moos | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 4 March :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: blah

I went and saw Beauty and the Beast last night at the high school. It was really great except for the little kid who would not shut up. We know that it looks like a lion, and no, after the twentieth time, we don't think your kid is as cute and precocious as you think he is.

I'm observing at the middle school tomorrow and the high school on Tuesday. I also work both of those days. It reminds me of high school. Leaving at seven in the morning, working until ten or eleven at night, going home, doing homework, and then doing the same exact thing the next day.

yep. I really have the need to let loose sometime this week. Any takers?

I'm reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. It's really quite good, but it's a bitch to read. I have a bad habit of skim reading, but with good pieces of literature, I can't do that. I can only read three or four pages at time, and then think about them, and then read three more pages...

I think I might start making an outline of a course paper for my literary criticism class. I'm writing on "Lust" by Susan Minot, a short story. She's modern, and it's well written, but devices and forms and their relationship to themes are a bit harder to pick out in modern works. I still have to figure out why she lists all of the guys she slept with. How does that contribute to the theme? That's what I'll be mulling over during spring break.

Almost done with laundry. Prepared for tomorrow. Hopefully going to bed a ten. Listening to the Counting Crows. So nineties.

"she's looking at you? I don't think so; she's lookin' at me"

Michelle

1 moo | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 1 March :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: chipper

Weather sucked today. They closed campus at one because of the "inclement weather." Even the weather channel was bold enough to use an adjective such as "treacherous." It was exciting.

I went to the Cabin with Steve and a few other people and ended up getting my interviews with Steve and Joel done. I only need one more for the next check point, and I'm interviewing with Amanda tomorrow afternoon.

I have mixed feelings about spring break. It's going to be great to have a break from classes and the like, but I have a lot to do. Everyday on my calender has something going on, and, I haven't even gotten my work schedule yet.

I'm observing at the middle school on Monday, and the high school on Tuesday. So I might be seeing some of you guys (Jenny!).

I talked with one of the professors for education today about getting a middle level education minor. I think I'm going to do it, but it's an add-on minor, so I'm going to be double minoring, which is fine if it'll help me get a job. It's only an extra 18 credit hours because most of the classes double count toward my education degree requirements.

It was thundering and lightening out earlier. It was really pretty. Our electricity kept flickering and my computer wasn't too happy about it, since it got restart four times before I realized what was going on.

Working on scholarship stuff is draining, but if I don't get some new scholarships for next year, I'm going to have a big problem. Rueben and I are looking at moving ten miles outside of town to a trailer park on M-20. I called last weekend and the rent is only 300.00 a month, so, between the two of us and utilities, it's like 200.00 a month per person. Much, much better than the almost 900.00 a month between housing and a meal plan here on campus. Even the apartments around are crazy, the lowest we've found is 235.00 PER person, and that's with having like eight roommates. It should all work out. There are tons of scholarships that I'm eligible for because my gpa is a 3.93 and I'm going into teaching. I just hope that my credit standing isn't going to affect me much, since they give preference to upperclassmen (but only after financial and academic merit). We'll have to see.

For now, I'm content to sit back and read the millions of pages of literature a night that I have assigned and being involved with Kappa Kappa Psi. I have to keep reminding myself that next year, and five years, is a long way away. I always have good insight and planning skills, but sometimes I get a little nutty with worrying about what's going to happen.

I'll be home tomorrow, until the eleventh, if anyone would like to hang out. Call me, or leave a comment.

Michelle

2 moos | someone say moo


serenity

:: 2007 28 February :: 5.27pm
:: Music: Eska Rock

February 2007
2/3
"I think you have a new name. It's 'Stallion.' You are untameable. A wild horse is just pretty, you can't do much with it." - Kate's mom talking to Kate

2/9
"Oh god, it's a mint, kill me now." - Prudence

"How do you masticate?" - Prudence

2/12
"They probably paint the walls with semen." - Brittany

2/13
"How can someone let their dog shit on the Circus Maximus?" - Prudie

"They're actually really cute when they're inter-bred with pigeons." - Prudence on seagulls in Australia

"I'll push you into dog piss." - Malcolm

2/14
"We ate the bird on the road at Termini." - Prudie

2/15
"We should have drank champagne, it'd go straight to our head. We'd be in a naked pile by now." - Prudence

"Do you know how many times I saved your ass because I'm a guy and I was there, with a penis?" - Malcolm

"You've had pierogi with nutella in it?" - Brittany
"It was like semen falling from the sky." - Malcolm

"Let's not get immature just because we're drunk." - Kate

"I bet Malcolm would lick me." - Kate

2/16
"You know you're an exchange studen when you're hungover at the airport." - Prudence

2/20
"Let's rid the world of mullets by going to Belarus." - Prudence

2/27
"Glitter is the herpes of the craft world." - Prudence quoting a comedian

1 moo | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 27 February :: 10.38pm

Thursday March 1, 2007 is National Self-Injury Awareness Day (SIAD). If you would like to participate in promoting awareness about self-injury, simply wear orange. Wearing an orange ribbon on the left breast is the formal symbol, but any orange piece of clothing or jewelry will work, too!

Please join me in this event!

Michelle


p.s. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to comment or to contact me!

3 moos | someone say moo


joeydomina

:: 2007 27 February :: 12.30am

New Movies That Are Coming
Okay, well some of these movies probably will suck and some might be good.... here is a list so far of what I've found out

Hostel Part II
The Hills Have Eyes II
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Hellyboy 2
Sin City 2
Jurassic Park 4
Indiana Jones 4
Rush Hour 3
Are We Done Yet?
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie For Theaters
The Condemned (Stone Cold Steve Austin Movie)
28 Weeks Later (Sequel To 28 Days Later)

For Eddy: Pirates of The Carribean: At Worlds End (May 25th, 2007)

Oceans 13
Evan Almighty (Sequel To Bruce Almighty)
The Bourne Ultimatum
AVP:2 (EWWWWWW)
Saw 4
Duke Nukem:The Movie
Toy Story 3
Terminator 4

Some Seem Good And Some Seem Like They Will Suck
LOL T4 (I'll be back.........with my wife Maria and The Californians)

8 moos | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 26 February :: 10.09pm

I've decided that winter isn't that bad. I like snow when I don't have to drive in it. It's not that cold if it's not windy. Big fat snowflakes falling in the light of a street lamp are eloquent. And seeing delicate snowflakes on my multicolored scarf makes me feel like I'm in a movie.

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 25 February :: 11.30pm
:: Mood: blah

I am crawling out of my skin. I'm trying. I really am.

I can't find anything to DO. I've been sitting here on my computer for two hours. Facebook. Woohu. Facebook. Email (Central). Woohu. Facebook. Email(Hotmail). Facebook. Woohu.

AHHH!

I searched "random journal" for a while hoping to stumble across something that would spark a creative run, but alas, I found nothing.

Thirteen year olds writing "ToDAy My dAD waS sUCH a DICk, UGHG!!" doesn't do much for my writing.

And I can't go to bed because the roommates are still up, and it's hard to sleep with keyboard typing sounds and random stupid laughs at online quiz results going on.

Maybe I should just take a double dose of Nyquil and get on with my life.

I am just having trouble being content. I just am. And I hate it. I hate feeling like I should be doing something else. It ruins all the moments for me. Every moment isn't good enough. It just makes me so tired.

2 moos | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 25 February :: 4.45pm

So i go to the library to sit for two hours for what? I schedule some block time for my kkpsi interviews and NO ONE SHOWED UP!!

So I just wasted two hours of my life where I could have been sleeping instead of sitting in the coffee shop bored as hell and feeling like shit. I don't even know. My body is DYING. I'm jittery from the coffee I just drank, but I feel like I'm going to throw up and i'm pissed and i feel like crying because i still have to go take my car to the SAC to park it and then i have to walk back to the freaking dorm in a fucking snow storm and i'm sick and i could barely walk from my car to the library, and ITS SNOWING and I HATE DRIVING IN THE SNOW and no one showed up for my fucking block time and what the hell.

a;lwdfj;lsdkjf;askjdf;lakwjsd

this is the worst day ever. i wish i had never gotten out of bed.

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 24 February :: 5.53pm

I don't know how it happened, but I'm more sick. I was sick, raspy voice and all, and then BAM! full blown cold and all. It really sucks. Cold drugs aren't doing much, either.

Oh well.

At least it's the weekend and it's not like I have a midterm and twelve interviews to set up and complete for next week.....

Stupid cold.

3 moos | someone say moo


Iron-Cipher

:: 2007 24 February :: 12.57am

One sound through all the noise...

2 moos | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 23 February :: 11.56pm
:: Mood: chipper

Being sick sucks, especially when your best friend is in FLORIDA.

I wish you many suns of tanning, and little burning.

I just took some nyquil. Oddly, it doesn't make me tired, but it does make me feel like I've had a couple shots. Just sorta loosey goosey, if you know what I mean. And yes, I took only the recommended dosage.

Just finished watching The Prestige. Good movie. A little too tired to get all the details, and the stupid rental DVD kept skipping.

I was tired anyway.

So long, Farewell...

Good Night.

So many interviews to do with the brothers.

So many signatures to get.

AHHH!!!

HUCKLEBERRY FINN!!

midterm.

Michelle

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 23 February :: 12.23pm

O, CNN, apple of my eye, you have lowered yourself...

I was watching CNN this morning (as always) and was (disappointed, angry, scared, shocked, enraged?) when they announced that their next segment would be about reporting the over reporting of Anna Nicole Smith.

Thank goodness Lou Dobbs still has it in him to refuse to devote any of his broadcast to her.

Good ole' Lou.

1 moo | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 22 February :: 1.35pm
:: Mood: busy

I'm sick and my lungs are struggling to move.

I have concert tonight and I can't breath. But, the director did say my piccolo playing has improved very much and she's glad that I'm the one playing it this semester. That makes me excited because the piccolo I'm borrowing is absolutely horrible compared to others I have played. It's an instrument, though, and I'm thankful for that.

I have a KKPsi meeting after the concert, and I don't have enough of my signature sheets or interviews done yet. I emailed the VP of membership and told him so that I won't get in as much trouble. Right now, the only thing I'm focused on is breathing and being able to keep breathing.

"After Pain, a Formal Feeling Comes-"

I know Emily didn't get out much, but she knows me way too well.

You say you're sorry, but you're really not. You annoy me. Plain and simple. I'm right, and you're wrong. Whatever.

I have to go shower and do my hair and my make up. I smell like the cafeteria. Ugh.

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 20 February :: 5.47pm




You Are 92% Control Freak



You are a total control freak, yet you often feel out of control.

If your life isn't "perfect" - it really gets you down.... more than it should!






You're An Alcoholic



Time to go back to step one.























Your Political Profile:


Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal
Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

5 moos | someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 19 February :: 11.42pm

You, my friend, have decided:


What do I deserve?
YOU DECIDE!
View Tally | Get Your Own | VoQuiz.com

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 18 February :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: creative

I could use an honest opinion and some feedback. I'm submitting this for a scholarship in a few days and have driven myself crazy with tweaking every little detail.
Thanks,
Michelle



A Night Out

She began preparations in the sunny afternoon, considering her pores in natural light. Covering, clogging them with her make-up as the light dimmed, and the fluorescent lights casted unnatural shadows around the room. She hummed a joyful tune while applying white shadow under the arch of her brows to highlight them. Concealer was dabbed under her lashes to hide the bags created from a previously long night. The hair was teased, relaxed, curled, and twisted into submission by long fingers stained yellow. A glance in the mirror assured time well spent.

She strode out the door by the light of the moon, subtly wavering in each step. She rode to the party in the darkness of a promising night, her face shining with possibility. She rolled down the window and breathed in the cold, harsh air. She lit her cigarette and gratefully inhaled equal parts smoke and icy air. Nicotine surged to her brain as the street lights raced by, caressing her face in a steady rhythm.

Arriving, entering, and swaying under the light of a miniature disco ball, the night climaxed around her. The hair had given up hope and the concealer went on strike. She stumbled around the room and became a victim of vulgar insults she no longer could comprehend. She laughed if off with a wide-mouthed grin and another cigarette. She fell out the way she had entered and took up transitory residence in the leafless skeleton of a bush. Later, he saw her by the flicker of his flame and the glow of his non-filtered cigarette.

The body was cold to the touch, but a slight groan assured an inhabitant. She entered once again, not on her own accord, to a stiller house. He carried her down the flight of stairs to his bedroom, basking in the warm glow of candle light. He left her there, in darkness, and slept in the other room.

She was revealed by the new sun, filtered through a topaz curtain, that cast a long shadow with deep valleys of lifeless-blue heliotrope.

someone say moo


m&ms487

:: 2007 16 February :: 1.45am


Get your own CrushTag!

someone say moo


joeydomina

:: 2007 15 February :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: sad

Life For Me
Well all life for me is going fantastic this year. Let me list the things that have or are going wrong this year.

My friend died, I have a tumor on my neck/cheek, my dog died tonight and I have a job interview tomorrow. great year for me

6 moos | someone say moo


ladybug04

:: 2007 15 February :: 9.09pm

So.. this weekend my sister and I are getting together and going through all of my mom's things and deciding what to do with all of it. I think it's going to be very difficult. I've been in a great mood these past few days, but right now I just can't get her off my mind. I miss her so much.


You have know idea how much of a mistake it is, if you are taking anyone in your life that you care about for granted. They could seriously be gone tomorrow. I saw my mom 4 times in a period of 2 years, but we always stayed in touch through letters, and everytime I saw her, I thought it may be the last time. I didn't take her for granted, and am so thankful for the great last conversation we had together, and that the last time I saw her, we had an aboslute blast and hugged like 6 times before I left. That is what I'm holding one to. I see her face, hear her laugh, and voice, and I can still smell the way she always smelled. It's like she's not really gone. And then reality hits, and sometimes it hits hard. Wow, she is gone. And it still is incredibly hard. I'll never get another letter from her in the mail, I'll never talk to her on the phone again, or laugh with her. One may almost allow these thoughts to drive them to depression, however I believe that I'll see her again. I believe she's in heaven, and she's happier than she ever was in her life. This brings me some peace of mind. There are so many people who I hear have just lost a parent, or loved one. While the situations are exactly the same, I do in some way know exactly what they feel. I just know that, as long as you don't take your loved one's for granted, it wont be as hard if they do ever leave you someday.

someone say moo

Woohu.com | Random Journal