lisalion816
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2004 25 April :: 3.09pm
Went to gradbash last night! It was really fun and i got to see the Ataris play! oooo the lead singer is sooo hot! I got lots of pics so im happy.I had so much fun with everyone and i miss hanging out with them. I hadn't seen Jon for ever so it was nice to hang out with him and the rest of the group. ok...umm
later....
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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Rina
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2004 24 April :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: switchfoot
your eyes sparkle in the moonlight
good saturday night.
went to the movies with my geeker and monkey. and andrew came too. (for those of you who dont know carina lingo: i went with sydney, chelsea, and.. andrew.)
we went to the gap and terrorized it a bit. then we walked to black hawk cafe. i got a mocha latte. with this cool sugar stuff they have. mmm good. i would have to say that it rivals starbucks.
saw ella enchanted. dude. that movie is cute. and from what i've heard, completly different from the book. before the movie started i put a gum wrapper on my shoe. you know how you peel off the foil-y type stuff off the 'extra' gum. you've all done it. well, i put some on my shoe.
after the movie we went to black hawk again. i couldnt resist. i bought another mocha. with the cool sugar stuff. but sydney got one too.
so now i have consumed two mochas within 2 hours. i think wired is a bit of an understatement.
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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Rina
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2004 24 April :: 1.47pm
:: Mood: bleh
:: Music: the reason - hoobastank
and the light that guides is fading
i get glasses on monday.
this weekend is going to be lame. i have two projects to do. joy, oh joy.
and teenage drama is living in my house. sound the alarm.
i miss having places to go. friends to see. non-stop talking on the phone. school is taking over my life. im going to beat it back with some sticks pretty soon.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 24 April :: 10.29am
Last night sam,josh, danille, chris, and this other girl went to fridays. I was supposed to go but around 9 sam was like i don't think anyone is even going so i said fuck it. Then she calls me when she gets there and asks if i wanted to go. At that point im really pissed so i said no. At 10:30 i got a call from chris and well, he was there along with everyone else and they all told him to call me. So the only fucking night i have off i got screwed over!!! god the title of my journal should be "my non-existant life" ha ha. Oh then five minutes later i get a call from this other girl danielle and i guess sam told her that i hate her. I never said i hated her! I just dont know her! And know sam is telling people shit! oo that pissed me off even more! That was all the pent up rage i've had bc i can never say anything to her.
Call me on my cell today...even though i'll be at gradbash i'll still answer! im leaving at 3 and i'll be back at 5:30 am so i'll be awake all night ^_^
later.....
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 23 April :: 10.57pm
:: Mood: Headache :/
I am so pissed right now. and i hurt all over. bruses from the concert are starting to reveal themselves and i have been betrayed by who i thought was one of my best friends.
WHY DOES LIFE SUCK SO FUCKING BAD??
gradbash tomorrow.......
.....did i mention i was pissed?
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 23 April :: 9.00pm
OH SAM: im not making fucking assumptions! i see it with my own two eyes everyfucking day along with everyone else! You flirt like there is no tomorrow! Brad keeps asking me if you two have a thing. Ask Julie and ...i bet Maya would agree! you just don't see what it looks like! Don't tell me what not to write in my journal...i can write whatever the fuck i want! GOD!
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ALSO HAVE TO GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT I FUCKING HATE THEM WHEN I NEVER SAID ANYTHING!! BESIDES! WHEN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SHIT I THOUGHT IT WAS BETWEEN YOU AND ME!!!! I DONT TALK SHIT BEHIND YOUR BACK!!!!
AND YOU ASK ME IF IM PISSED!!
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 22 April :: 11.46pm
:: Mood: So FUCKING good!!
:: Music: can't hear...my ears are ringing
HEY! Just got back from the concert!! X-Fest was FUCKING AWSOME!! It was the best concert i have EVER been to! Twisted Method kicked it off, followed by Finger Eleven, then Smile Empty Soul, and the best fucking band there TRAPT, and Puddle of Mud was the closer. CAN WE SAY FUCKING AWSOME!!!!
It was sooo much fun! Julie and i were right up at the front, jumping up and down, screaming, banging our heads and going crazy!! It was the BEST! People were smoking out and we smelled like weed but hey its cool and we got beer spilled all over us...it was SOOO much fun!!! God! I want to bang the lead singer of TRAPT! He is sooo HOT!!....if only.....
I got a voice mail from sam that i just checked and turns out josh was there, but i didn't see him....which i have mixed motions about. Oh well i dont give a flying fuck!He can be off with his lazy-eyed bitch....hes not good enough for me! What a dumb fuck.
Anyway, I HAD THE BEST TIME IN MY LIFE!!! the only draw back was that they searched us and made julie and i take our cameras to the car. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING PISSED I AM??? I HAVE NO CONCERT PICTURES!! I AM PISSED!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!
oh well....i had a blast!!!!
Later! ^_^
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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dreamiecloud
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2004 22 April :: 10.06pm
our cat sunshine makes me cry, because when it gets dark he walks around the house meowling. and he rubs against your legs. the poor boy's last family abused him :(.
its not even regular meowling. its just the sadest noise comming out of him.
todayci was talking to chappell. and he was like we are both good enough to be majors. then he said something about being too lazy to try out again or something. i told him i want to be a major senior year, so i could have a senior show.
that made me feel pretty good.
lol he wanted me to walk to grab and go with him. i was too nervous though so i didnt go.
mary said we should hang out outside of school sometime.
and kristie said i looked pretty and tall today.
you should always, always remember the complinet people give you, and forget the insults.
i have told myself that for the longest time, and yet i usually remember the insults.
so i will start sounding really conceided, and writing all of them down, so this way, i can readit over and think, "i do so get complients
wow. we all looked so young and funny in middle school.
WAHHAHSGYUWG CARINA i just saw you 7th grade picture. ADORABLE?!?!? i think so!
ok thats all for me.
ciao.
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lovethehibiscus
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2004 22 April :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: happy// feel like dancin
:: Music: tuesday's gone - lynyrd skynyrd
down the strip
tears would be running down my face. i bit my tongue which restrained my fist from strikin the wall. i needed to escape.
i called you
when you picked up the phone and you heard me say hello between sniffles you right off the bat knew something was wrong. always when i said hello versus my usual hey, hola, yo, howdy..
you knew the drill
i could hear the whizzing of the bad muffler as you pulled into my neighborhood. i snuck out with my red baseball cap on to cover up my swollen watery eyes.
you always put my favorite song on and put up with my singing off key. we would ride through town with the windows down. the brutal wind blowing our hair around. after a stop at the 7-11 and one blueberry/cherry mix slurpee, i was better.
the hat got thrown in the back of your car and sat on the floor with the numerous fast food wrappings, important school papers, and clothes.
my once crying eyes now peered through the wind and soaked up the flashing world that was passing by my window.
sitting at the longest light in town. beating on the dashboard along with the radio. thinking how unfair it was to have to wait an eternity to turn on to the strip.
the green of the light lit both of our faces up and we both grinned and you grabbed my hand as we turned down on to the infamous strip.
i looked at you as your foot slowly pushed on the gas button. the car was flying down the strip along with our hair as the wind stormed through the car and whipped us in the face.
breathing in the ocean air, everything that was weighing down my soul evaporated. i caught you glancing at me and i squeezed you hand a little harded. i whispered i love you in to the wind. the smile that spread across your face told me that the wind had whispered my secret to you.
andie*
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 22 April :: 4.07pm
:: Mood: depressed
I dont understand guys at all. That whole species is a complete mystery to me. Chris and sam are all touchy feely in fith and sixth period and if i go near him he spazes out and says "no touchy" and im getting the vibe of "eeww, go away, u disgust me."
The thing is, sam has a boyfriend and was telling me how she doesn't like it when he does these flirty things but she flirts back anyway. I dont get it! Im not going to admit that i like him nor tell that i don't. Honestly im just a little jealous since she gets all of her attention and im left out in the cold. Am i really that bad? They walk around the hall with their arms around eachothers waist and now hes wondering why i feel left out. He doesn't see that hes doing anything out of the ordinary. He wasn't like this before brad told him and sam that i liked him and sam keeps asking him if he likes me and its all very confusing and now hes all standoffish.
And people wonder why im depressed.
Honestlly people.
Guys are just problem causers who make u depressed one way or another.
Im leaving here at 5 to go to XFEST! im so excited. Jules and i are going so it will be a ton of fun! ok
later
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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Rina
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2004 21 April :: 10.15pm
:: Mood: hyper//ecstatic
HOLY FREAKING MOTHER OF COWS.
i heart the WB. you have no idea.
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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Rina
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2004 21 April :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: brand new colony
run away for this place is no longer stable
i am so tired. of everything.
i am tired of tying on little bells to my feet and dancing for everyone. they expect me to be so happy all the time. its just way too hard for me right now.
besides that, im sure everyone already knows that i am getting glasses. and that they are rectangular. no, they are not "emo" glasses. and you can keep your stereotyping to yourself. i know it can be hard though.
i had my prism concert yesterday. no big. i played when they told me to. that was the extent of my excitement.
off to do schoolwork.
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 20 April :: 10.43pm
:: Mood: tired
Heres the new look for my journal....i like it and i dont care what you think! muha ha ha ha...ok whatever. Im going to bed and perhaps i'll write something of interest tomorrow.
Later.....
*Lisa*aka *swede* yeah ok thats enough
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 19 April :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: awake
I can't sleep and it pisses me off!!
Whats the deal today you ask?? Nothing too thrilling i regret to report. Day started out normal enough for a monday i suppose. Little did i know when i woke up this morning that i would continually hurting myself through out the the day. Not to mention, spill sam's coffee all over her desk, the floor, my school bag, books, and myself. I smelled like half coffee half sour milk for the rest of the day....wonderful. I did have fun 6th period though...the gang proceeded to wander aimlessly through the halls....then ofcourse i was tormenting chris during every opportunity that presented its self. I dont know why i get a kick out of it but it seems to me he does as well.
I hope Jules is okay, she didn't seem too happy today, but then again shes a little on the sick side. I feel really bad about not talking to her as much in 5th. What happend? As soon as chris entered our little group, she has strayed away from us. i admit, it is partially my fault for being so um...can we say absorbed with chris?? does that even sound right?? oh well......Jules and i will have a blast at the concert.
Lately i've been having a hard time falling asleep. I dont know why either and to tell you the truth it is starting to piss me off.
I've been thinking alot lately and I really need to start working out again. I was doing great with my whole yogurt diet and walking with sam thing till we just lost track of everything. Everyday im going to be making my way over to the gym after work or after school and i was even contemplating getting up at 5am but i hardly get up at 6 so i doubt i will be thrilled when i roll out of bed in the morning with an hour less of sleep.
Lately i have been feeling so unaccomplished. i feel as if im doing nothing with my life and im just wasting away. Isn't this supposed to happen in your 40s?? Is there such thing as a teen mid-life crisis?
There has to be more to being 17, staying home, the computer, work, and school. Yeah yeah, weekends are ok but then again hardly bareable. There is nothing to do around here and everything requires money, which sucks. I want to be able and go out on school nights with my friends and hang out and do all that crazy stuff. But alas, all my friends' parents are strict and wouldn't hear of such blasphemy. Granted we wouldn't stay up all night being "hooligans" 8:30 ish is respectable right?? And as long as we have no school work all should be fine right?
I am soooo looking foward to next year. More freedom and no parents
(which can be good and bad).
Like i was saying....its repulsive, just sitting here, bored out of my mind with no real homework to do and endless space to stare into. Oh the joys of being 17. Who in their right mind wants to be young again?
I think i just need to be hugged. Haven't been hugged in a while. Its kind of depressing.
Sam gets all the attention when it comes to guys and i have to admit i do get a wee bit jealous but then of course i should be used to not getting attention. I should know better. Even chris for God's sake practically drools all over even in my failed attempts to distract him. But so they story goes.
Once again i have caught my self blabbing away into nothingness and find myself getting on the sleepy side.
Alas, my bed calls to me as my pillow sings a soft low tune of the sirens in ulyssys. Honestly, why do i think up these lame ass things??? Where do i get it from?? Well im going to go before i burry my self with all the lameness floating around.
Untill i am bored, fustrated, or depressed again.......later
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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dreamiecloud
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2004 19 April :: 8.08pm
you make me barf a little.
i did really shitty on my assesments...
but at least im not PROBED! WHAT!
hahaha at least i am not probed, that is allli can say, because missed it by like .3 points.i feel good now.
aaaannnnddddd, all i have to do, is finish my painting. herutjkl.adsf
that will take a year.
god damn, god damn.
today was ok. it was utterly normal.
i mean. it was so normal, it was actually kind of disgusting.
i had to give my kitty two baths yesterday, she had fleas. ew.
my day was wholesome. the only thing that made it un -fifties-ish was that, as always, i ate dinner by myself.
fin.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lovethehibiscus
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2004 18 April :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: i want you bad - offspring
long live the sunscreen song!!
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
- Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen- Baz Luhrmann. lyrics by Mary Schmich-
andie*
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lala91
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2004 18 April :: 9.15pm
omg today was s0 fun... i went over to chris's jack's [[typo]][[lol]] house and hung out.. it was s0 fun. we went 0ver t0 kaitlyn blanchetts h0use but she wasnt home s0 we walked home n played vide0 games. i g0t t0 c his cl0set. lol. n sally sed the camel had 4 humps [[lol chris jack!!]].. we played the guitar and watched nightmare bef0re christmas. "my fav0rite character is the fourth step and the little fish thing thatz in the m0vie f0r .5 seconds.
um n therrs a l0t 0f inside j0kes but u will never find 0ut ab0ut them b/c then they wouldnt be inside jokes. they w0uld be 0utside j0kes.. ugh. lol
alrighty ima go
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lovethehibiscus
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2004 18 April :: 9.15pm
:: Mood: happy//dance-y
:: Music: run dmc - its tricky
hooked on phonics
yesterday i walked into my aunts casa yesterday
i saw my uncle
i read his shirt
i ask, "i'd rather be in my garbage???"
my aunt looks over, "i'd rather be in my GARAGE."
andie*
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glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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lisalion816
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2004 18 April :: 2.51pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Vendetta Red
Hokay. Sam and i got in to a fight. I just didn't know about it untill Friday night that we had been mad at eachother starting 6th period. I was lik wtf when i got a voice mail her. Unbeknownst to me, Brad had gone up to the deans office where sam,chris, and santos were. He then proceeded to tell them that i hate sam and never want to talk to or see her again and that im jealous of how chris flirts with her along with other crap. Then sam was like WTF and went down stairs where mrs. kenndy pulled her into the office and asked if we were fighting and kept asking what was going on and stuff. So now along with everyone in the deans office, the front office knows too. While this is all happening im running passes. I have noo idea whats going on. After i was done i went back and i saw sam take her stuff and leave. i was like...umm okay??? I didn't think anything of it at all, figured she was going to talk to danielle for a while.
So, yesterday i tried to get ahold of her all day, to no avail. Finally she called me back and we put the puzzle pieces together and the picture was clear....BRAD this was all his doing!
i had chat with him. ooo its all true! HE thought sam would think it was a joke bc he said he was laughing the whole time. what an asshole. He caused this massive thing between us. It took a while to figure it all out.
Anyway...its all good now...except that everyone now thinks i have a thing for chris...good god! sry but i dunno if i want to think of him in that way.
i think im going to be evil and see how it all plays out though....see what he does, says, u know what i mean?? According to sam he didn't have any objections i think......mu h ha ha ha ha ha im sooo going to use this to my advantage.
Hokay, I saw "Ella Enchanted" yesterday with my sis. it is such a cute movie! i like it! before that we went to chillies. good stuff. Carina was like "we must have cheesecake!" and i said fine so we split a slice..mmmmgood.
omg im so bored.
I want to hang out with my friends but everyone is busy.
Heard through the grape vine that Josh's truck broke down. How fucking convienient.
I swear he is the root of all my misery. I dont see how im not good enough for him, or anyone else for that matter.
Life blows....
...what else is there to tell???
......nothing......
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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