A Collection of Thoughts

:: 2004 17 May :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: tv

i'm completely torn between two things that haven't even happened....

:: 2004 16 May :: 5.54pm
:: Music: dave mattews band.

the space between.

You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted game we play
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get tickled
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...

:: 2004 15 May :: 11.16pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: dashboard in my head lala

tap dat shit
im so confused tonight, and last night was...well. confusing to say the least. i just dont know....

gah! something funny did happen though, charles and.... did....and it makes me laugh really, really hard. woot.

:: 2004 14 May :: 11.28pm

oops. so i lied to myself again, oh well.

i'm really over everything with everyone. i dont know what started anything thats happening. im just as confused as anyone else...cant it just be over?

*i can feel your waves coming can you please speed up your current, time is expanding once again. i need you, i miss you, as you yearn for me*

:: 2004 12 May :: 8.21pm
:: Mood: scared.
:: Music: cky.

bubble of thought.
my current thoughts to you:

fuck you.

yep.
xoxo.

8 laughs | humor me

:: 2004 12 May :: 8.12pm
:: Mood: angry

why.cant.you.see.what.you.put.me.through.
i'm crumbling, everything i touch or think of turns to ashes...stay away from me, ill just hurt you in the end.

1 laugh | humor me

:: 2004 11 May :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: taking back sunday

you people make me laugh teribbly hard.

to my bear: you can get through this emo time of yours, you can.

muaha. my day kicked. im doing a whole lot of nothing in most of my classes and its amazing.
kisses
-emolay

:: 2004 9 May :: 10.55pm
:: Mood: scared.
:: Music: garbage.

words ill regret saying tomorrow...
i thought i could handle this.
i thought i was strong.
i hate not knowing. i hate feeling like this and saying these words.
maybe its done, maybe its not.
i fucking hate this.
i hate loving you but i live to love you.
i love you and thats why its so hard.
i cant handle this much longer but i have to. its better than the alternative.

xoxo.

:: 2004 9 May :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: get up kids

this is the first time in a while that i havent felt completely alone. its weird that a bunch of people i hardly know can make me feel more welcomed then my good friends.

tonight kicked.

kisses.

happy birfday to my lover, bear.

1 laugh | humor me

:: 2004 7 May :: 3.12pm
:: Mood: lost
:: Music: tv

there are some things in this world that make me want to cry and not believe in anyone or anything anymore.

theres feelings of hatred and regret that i cant stop anymore. its so hard to find the good anymore. i want it to be like when we were litte, happy. i never want to have to grow up from what i see, its too fucking hard

:: 2004 5 May :: 2.23pm
:: Mood: torn

so hmm...i dont know.

last night was good. my kite and some people made me smile. i needed it too. and i had nice conversations with some neat kinds of kids. i kiss lots of people muah.

im so in mrs.millers class waiting for lou so i can make my kite. I LOVE LENNILE as deep as the oceans.

:: 2004 3 May :: 5.22pm

fuck patience

1 laugh | humor me

:: 2004 2 May :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: grateful.
:: Music: deftones.

i have the most amazing friends. i am very grateful for every single one of you. thank you all.

xoxo.

:: 2004 2 May :: 5.34pm
:: Mood: hating
:: Music: lostprophets-to hell we ride

fuck
its amazing how one person can bring something to my attention and i start to realize its actually true. and that it fills me with fucking anger meant for a lot of people...

i realized someone i thought was perfect is the complete opposite.