A Collection of Thoughts

:: 2004 21 April :: 5.40am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: get up kids-overdue

i ask each year why am i here?
i hate this routine. get up. get ready. school. come home. sleep. be sad.

its getting really really old.

i was looking at some pictures yesterday and it made me sad to know nothing will ever be the same. im actually beginning to think that it truly isn't all my fault

:: 2004 20 April :: 6.20pm
:: Mood: invisible
:: Music: moudest mouse- float on

so he told me i should stop apologizng for being sad, but i really am sorry at that fact.

so people confuse the shit out of me. you know who im talking about specifically, that child is so odd and says all this stuff and does the complete opposite...gr.

today was fun, i spen lots of monies.

:: 2004 19 April :: 9.25pm

i hate that i feel like this towards him, i truly do....

if i could choose who i could fall for itd be you by a million.

:: 2004 18 April :: 10.38am
:: Mood: dead

we got second, not teribble i guess.

things happen that should make me feel something, regret, pain, whatever...and i just cant.

runningaway

:: 2004 17 April :: 7.40pm
:: Mood: worried.
:: Music: bright eyes.

this aint no barbeque. get out of my grill.
if you could be an animal, what would you be?

you should tell me.

more later. im sleepy.
xoxo.

5 laughs | humor me

:: 2004 15 April :: 4.48pm

my lil ashlie one-
dearest, you are so amazing and you dont pass judgement. you make up your own mind about people and i love you for that. you deserve absoloutely nothing wrong in your life and im sorry you just don't care. i understand that completely, its so easy to just let that happen...let apathy rule your life. its so easy to slip into that, but so hard to get out. remember that there are so many people that love and care about you and dont want to see you hurt. i know were not the greatest friends but you mean mucho lot to me. feel better my dear, the sun will come out tomorrow (i stold form Annie yay)

:: 2004 15 April :: 11.35am
:: Mood: giggly

everything is red
too bad lenny and charlie just put on a lil 'performance' and i wiggled all the way to the liberry.

i think someone slipped something in my capn crunch this morning, everything is funny, ecspecially the fact that bear is putting on eyeliner right his very moment....now all he needs is some long hair and glasses. WABAM EMO BEAR.

2 laughs | humor me

:: 2004 14 April :: 8.35pm

somethings not right.

i just cant feel alive anymore, i cant even try

2 laughs | humor me

:: 2004 14 April :: 11.24am
:: Mood: sadish
:: Music: 'studying'

so studying for mrs.grahams test is a big penis in my back.

bear is the coolest person in the entire world, he gave me a mix cd and it is amazing...not that ive listened to it yet or anything...but yes.

kisses

:: 2004 14 April :: 5.17am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: prince-musicology

please explain to me why MTV is neglecting to play the new avril lavigne song?
yes....so hi.

my day was pretty okay at school yesterday, we got a lot of costume stuff done for cinderella.

i kiss everyone that hurts, heart or otherwise.

:: 2004 13 April :: 11.12am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: tinkyyy winkyyy

gay men, sweaters, and coffee
yeah so. things are prett okay so far today.

is it weird that i wont put a cookie down on a desk for fear of germs, but ill put in on my pants that probably have more germs? ...just a thought

6 laughs | humor me

:: 2004 12 April :: 5.59pm
:: Mood: dreamy
:: Music: silent

just got home from barnes and noble.

i gots to hang out with the lovely nick. after i got there we sawed collin, and then it just turned into a huge partay. lenny and charchums and bear sawed us and i said hola.

collin is the strangest/gayest person in the entire world. i have to laugh at that child sometimes, indeed i do.

i love dani and lenny and charlie and everyone more then anything.

3 laughs | humor me

runningaway

:: 2004 12 April :: 4.59pm
:: Mood: nerdy.
:: Music: a perfect circle.

the question of the day: "where do you want to go?"
yesterday was good. happy late easter everyone. sunrise service was good. a lil early though. the easter bunny visited me too.

that was a crazy storm we had this morning.

lenny came and picked me up this morning. we ended up in bear's driveway so we kidnapped him for the rest of the day. it was fun times. i think we went everywhere possible in this town. sun harvest, target, barnes and noble, the movies, fridays, the park...i think thats all. they are some good kids.

tomorrow is school. ew.

i finally got to see adam this weekend. it had been a month since i last saw him. i missed him.

...maybe this was the true measure of love, he thought- when you willingly tolerate behavior that, in anyone else, would be annoying, even abhorent to you....
-yellow

all my love.
xoxo.

:: 2004 12 April :: 9.25am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: t.v.

sometimes we do things fully aware of the consequences because its worth it.
Easter was sad for me, i missed chicago teribbly...but its okay. bob hid easter eggs and made me look for them, i swear to goodness that man is insane, he hid those things as if his life depended on it.

....theres truly nothing to say about last night, absoloutley nothing. i just worry about whats going to happen though