I'm somewhat amused... the picture I took at school of this one guy is now being used as my icon...ain't that weird?

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me...I've been alone all along..."

Finals week and I've been abandoned. Internet back for approximately 3 weeks and everyone is either away or not on. Maybe I've been blocked on their buddy lists. hmm...

It's my site's new logo...heh.

Sign the guestbook when you have the chance.


I was having some fun on Quizilla. I got this result from one of the quizzes. It's actually pretty accurate.


You're an Angst writer!


What kind of writer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm gonna go work on Chapter Six-and-a-Half of Rainy Day Woes now.

I hate change...yesh. Change. The type of change that chances upon people between their middle school selves and their high school selves. The high school atmosphere changes in a lot of people, so much so that you don't recognize them anymore; they're a whole new person.

But, why? Why does it change? Is it to look cool in front of the upper classmen? Or is it just some powerful force of nature and instinct that makes everyone just so. Either way...I hate it. I want to know where all my middle school friends went. They're all lost in the high school experience, whereas I'm on the outside, watching.

Will it all stay like this till the day we die? Or will it yet change again in college? The way the school hierarchy works really screwed our minds this time.

I mean, okay. This is how this came about. Couple nights ago, two of my friends were at each other's throats. It was horrible. The things my friend, who is younger than me by a year, said really got me thinking. I won't quote anything from it...it's just that, I was thinking, "Is this friendship really worth fighting for and holding onto?" *sighs* I just don't know anymore.


It's from here on out that I've decided not to open myself up to anyone anymore. I just end up getting myself hurt again and it's just not worth it. I mean, who really would want to be my friend anyway. I'm too static and invisible for people to understand me, let alone want to understand me.

I guess, in the end, I'm more selfish than anyone could imagine.

So, here's the scoops. Today, I find out that my Spanish teacher wants me to go HL in Spanish because of my ability to write in the language. Yeah...it made me feel special.

Guess what! I passed the FCAT! EVERY DAMN PART OF IT! I'm so happy. Last year, I got a 2 (outta 6) in the writing portion and a 1 (outta 5) on the reading portion. But this year, oh this year, I got a 6 on my writing and a 4 on my reading...WOOHOO! I'm so proud of myself. I owe it all to me English teachers. Yesh.

Other than that, AB was at the performance for the Dunbar dance today. Yeah. It was cool, even though it wasn't much of a performance because:
1) my keyboard (electric piano) had a very bad sound quality. It sounded so tinny.
2) the 8th graders were talking throughout our gig, even though we expected that.
3) the place we performed at was a lil too small for comfort.
But oh well. Yeah. L8terZ. That's all I have. Bleh

Bleh...I want t o barf...I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! Well, At least I have today and 4 days next week before summer...finals coming up. Must--go--for--reviews...Yeah...

On the other hand...I'm on the paid list! Yay! Okay...going now...to sleep...even though the bus is gonna be here soon. L8terZ.

All these projects that are due 2moro are driving me up the wall. Now here's the moral of the story, boys and girls. DON'T PROCRASTINATE.

On the other hand... ^_^

Go to this spiffy site and sign the guestbook. Not much on it, but should be some "stuff" when summer rolls around.

http://www.freewebs.com/nothing_but_grey

Everyday passes...and then another...and then another...it's already the end of sophomore year. And then REAL IB comes into play. One question bothers me. Can I handle it? Almost my whole school life, I've had it easy, and now, it seems like my world is going to crash down sometime in the near future. I should actually be happy that I'm back online and have AIM...but for some reason, I'm still not happy. Maybe it's because I have to do this and that...just so I can get my IB diploma. It's actually kinda depressing. No...it IS depressing. I wrote a really sad poem this morning, because I just didnt care anymore. I didnt want to do anything...work for anything. NOTHING! That's what will become of me. *sighs* Anyway...I should go work on my site. L8terZ

You know what's funny? When something dramatic happens to someone and that someone tells people, the people...change into something totally different and unexpected. It's really weird how everything turns out. In everyday perspective, everyone knows that they would see each other again the next day so they would treat each other as if it were any other day. But, when he/she for some reason have to leave, with the chance of never seeing anyone again, that's where everything changes. The attitude one has for the person leaving is flipped, almost like it's necessary.

But, how would that affect the person who's actually leaving. It'll make it harder for the person to leave, no matter action is taken. Sure, it's good to know that people actually cared...that people's hearts have been touched, but all that just makes it harder. In my perspective, leaving people behind the way you know them is better than having to remember them when they were sad and mopey......

Now that i see it, I understand why some people left without a moment's notice. But, I can also see that it was selfish to only care about how that one person feels, when everyone else feels unimportant and perhaps betrayed.

All this seems to come to mind when I apply it to my life right now. Moving is going make me all sad and crap. But, at least I'm staying near the same area I used to be and go to the same school I'm going to now, as opposed to moving to place almost an hour and a half away. Yeah...



Anyway, what to talk about. I got...a $20 gift card from Barnes and Noble for winning first place in the fictional section of a writing contest. FWEEEE! Hmm, talkin to Amber right now...she analyzed this one dream I had about driving. *copies and pastes part* "drivers ed class.......three of us and teacher driving....the guy blind folds us...drives us somewhere....takes a taxi back...tellin us to drive our way back as a test.......i had to drive....got on a really weird lookin bridge.....and it sorta...made itself into six separate bridges.......iwe got lost....and blah blah blah......too long to explain..."
yeah...and her conclusions are perhaps feeling insecure or worried on the upcoming passage in your life, trying to adjust to a new situation under pressure, and fearing failure........all pretty close.......interesting, eh?

(Is this gettin' long enough yet......nope) very interesting.........yesh..........a person at the contest award ceremony thingy came up to me and asked what I thought about winning first prize...and I said..."Intersting...I think it was interesting..." and left it open-ended...the guy was soooooo confused. The moral of this story, boys and girls, is that open-ended remarks give the most unexpected people a chance to think...and be confused...(not really, but okay)....I shall be going now...but 'twill not be the last time we meet. Until our paths cross again, adieu.

Mm...talking to Claressa right now. Surprisingly...I'm talking about guys with her right now. She knows who I like, which is funny because she's the only person who knows, aside from my Net friends. No one else knows, not even my best friend. It took a long time to get it out of me. Wow the conversation is getting really long. I haven't talked to anyone that long in so long....har har har.

Jeez, it's almost 2:00 and I'm not tired. I'm cold but not tired. I should get some sleep soon. I have to finish the oxymoron chart for Copeland. I need an A on that to keep my A in the class. And I need to get moving on my satire project for Himes. I have all my stuff; I just have to put the sources in MLA format and print. Whoopdidoo. Anyway. G'night.

I just found an interesting site, indeedy. VAMPIRES! Give me blood!

http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Kusho

Bwahahah! Join, all you people I consider friends. You'll have fun. Anyway.

Today...there's was a neighborhood fight. I was a part of it. My victory for the day = making a guy cry. Yeah. I got mad cuz he and his peanut gallery were throwing oranges on the driveway of my house, and the cars. Erg. Anyway...short and sweet. L8terZ.

"I owe the world nothing..."

Okay, so here's the deal. Last night, I had to go to this lame I.B. registration thing for the next two years of my high school life. Anyway, I got this huge packet of I have to expect the next two years. HELL! I'm not going to make it out of thie program alive. Mizz Lazy Perezosa is not going to get all her 175 hours of CAS done by senior year, let alone the 75 hours done before february junior year. ARG! So frustrated!

You know what? I was seriously considering dropping out of I.B. Insane, aren't I? For one time in my life, I want to hang out with my friends afterschool, instead of having my nose in all these books and being buried under all the homework I get every damn night. *sighs* For just one time, I want to know what it's like to be in a school where they don't base you on how well you do on everything.

It's crazy, I know, and all of you who know me, know it's crazy. I'm the one who chose to go to the only I.B. league school in the county, yet I dun think I'm suited for the program anymore. I mean, all this high level and standard level thing is just giving me a headache. So, anyway, I'm not dropping out, but I'm not completely happy about going to a presitigious high school either.

Anyway, for people like Nira, here are my possible choices for classes next year...
English: High level
Spanish: High level
Biology II: High level
American History: (contemplating on whether to take "High level Bio" and "History of Americas" which is also high level)
Math Studies
Film Studies or World Music: Standard level
Jazz Band

Yeah...we have to have three high level classes and three standard level classes in order to get the I.B. diploma. -_-;; stupid things......but i should really be more worried about....
...
...
...
FCAT!!!!!!! - -;; it's in 4 school days.....my ticket to graduation lies within the tests during next week.......anyway...i should research my stuff for world history now that the service is working again.....

PEACE!

"The words...scribbled on the walls...the loss of friends you didn't have. Does it cost me scarring if the words stay true...and when the answer you want is in the question that you state..."

HELL YEAH! I'm back online for the first time this year! BWAHAHAH! And you know what...I'm not happy...

Ever get that feeling when all these good things happen to you all at once it seems as if it's too good to be true? My life is like that right now... Aside from getting the FCAT Writes over with...I won first place in the county writing contest under the fictional section. It's mad crazy...

And now, it's to the point where I just get through the day...the same things happen...the same things done...occasional blah, blah here, and a blah blah there. *sighs*

Let's see... Aside from that, this past weekend, down here in good ole Ft. Myers, we celebrated the Edison Festival of Lights by holding a parade. Guess what happens a few hours before the parade starts...
..
..
..
I ALMOST GOT ARRESTED! Okay, so here's the deal. My dad owns this restaurant and he had his parking lot roped off so the parade-watchers wouldn't take the paying customers' spots. Anyway, before the parade started, my dad asked me to take the rope off and so I go out there and this cop yells at me to back away with my hands up. He had his handcuffs out and everything! It was insane. The guy didn't believe me when I told him that my dad owns the restaurant. He had to ask my dad to 'identify' me. ERG! And the cop's apology didn't even sound like a sincere apology. ARG! I wanted to cuss him out or something...grr....

Let's what else happened within the--almost three-month--time I was gone...*thinks really hard* Ah! Also, at the parade, this girl who's going to college down here from Michigan started talking to me near the end of the parade. It was interesting considering that we exchanged phone numbers to go to this KAIO thing....yeah. Nira...'Good to know people in high places...'

Har. Har. Har

Okay...I'll be back shortly...L8terZ!