sameen
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2004 6 May :: 7.43pm
Was up?
Today was all right. Chem, the power was out, so we all gathered our stuff and went by the cafeteria. It was nice. Nice change of pace. Just sit and relax while working on those stoichiometry problems that I just live for. Ceramics was boring. We just helped set up 4 the show tonight and I glazed my project. I like spending lunch in Morone. I duno why. It's nice hangin out wit that group of girls. There's just all good feelings between us and it's just chill. Listenin 2 random Disney songs and sharing eachother's food like when we were little. English was all right- took our vocab quiz and read a story. Mo's done a really good job wit the analysis stuff. Finally.I mean before all we learned was vocab and we read shit but we never did nething 2 understand it. Definitely gotta do that daybook 2 bring up my grade. I did well on my poetry anaylsis tho- 98. I needed that. Even PETER said it was good, he was like- I didn't know you were smart. If I'm not mistakin' I think that's a compliment ?? Spanish was all rite- nothing special. I think she's a nice lady tho. She's a stickler 4 the rules, but nice. I probably just said bad things about her just cuz I was bitter about my B, but it's all good- rite? Not good 2 hold onto things from the past- especially when u can't do nething. Worrying, complaining, and just being overall pesimistic will only have you going around in circles- you're not gonna get anywhere with it. I mean, don't keep it bottled up, but time could be more well spent just doin something else... working harder to correct the screw up. It's good 2 remember ur past, but work towards the future. Anyway, stayed after school 4 Art tutoring. We did multiple based slide questions, I did pretty decent, I got 25/35. Which is a C average. I don't think that's that bad, especially after getting 35 wrong outa 85 or 84. Then I helped Mrs Howard wit the Art Show setting up. I figured what was the point going home if only 2 came back in 2 hours, especially since I know it's not my mom's favorite thing 2 drive around town(s) so much.
I dunno y, but I just like being by myself. I dunno if that's just weird but I do spend a lotta time by myself. I think I'm not a type of person who depends on other people 2 make myself happy. I think it's cuz when you set expectations for other people, and they don't meet them, u just get let down. And frankly, I'm tired of bein let down. I dunno realizing this makes me lucky or just makes me look at the world ina bad way. But, I just hope I don't end up alone one day.. like I'm about 2 retire but I'm all alone. I think that's one of my worst fears. And dying.. and no one missing me. I hope when I leave this world... some part of me will live on and some sort of legacy will continue. I just wanna be a good person. I think the happiest people aren't necessarily the richest people. It's like that story we read in English about how one guy killed himself for one reason [I dunno y ] and the other killed himself cuz he "had everything" I dunno, just my thoughts. But I just wanna work hard 2 get 2 the places I want 2. Working hard makes you feel good about yourself, it really does. It makes you feel accomplished, sure u get tired, but that's what "life's all about" right, working towards perfection?? Or at least being happy with your imperfections- but hey, I never was settler.
All right.. I'm out.
3 and hold it tight. |
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 5 May :: 9.44pm
:: Mood: weak
:: Music: watching the OC
chem: hadda get at least a C on the quiz.
stats: pj is my brother, i swear, and mike... i love that kid cause he is so laid back. we talk about the stupidest things. but for the most part... that class was kinda dull other than that.
economics: me, sameen & jackie talked instead of studying the whole class. which wasn't bad. jackie is really sweet. wish i woulda been friends with her this year. but she is leaving too. she told me john and kassy are going out.... haha. interesting.
art history: i felt loved when anand asked me to sit next to him to keep him company. mma miss him too. but yeah, thunder thighs, monkey man, hoe, bitch. haha. ur the best.
carol picked me up from school. kinda funny cause she picked me up in the escalade & i saw heads turn, and like... ashley p was jealous lol. funny.
so i went to cheerleading practice at Park Vista. lots of girls that are dumb, "what's a notary?" and then... i met michelle & kari. they're awesome. and shay, and some other girls. ashley defonso, devon s, althea rolle,nikki silver, chelsea paletti... they were all there. not so bad. but its competitive, & we got a "favoritism" coach from John I. because the other coach, Coach Snider, has already quit. so who knows what is going on. but yeah... its scary. if i don't pull varsity... i'm out. grr. i hope i do. X-crosses fingers-X anyways... i'm sore now. and 2morrow... i have.... practice from 3:30-6 @ PVHS & 6-8 @ AHS. goodnight. this weekend should be fun. imma c hema most definitely. xoxo should make a good entry some time this weekend. byes
(i want him 2 tell me that i'm pretty & hot. i'm sick of hearing... "did u meet so & so? she's HOT." or "this girl at school was wayyyyy hot." or when i told him today that i felt inferior & intimidated by all the pretty girls at practice... his attitude was like, "HOT GIRLS? WHERE R THEY? I GOTTA GO THERE." that sort of thing. i want to know that i am pretty. that i am his girlfriend. +tear+)
1 and hold it tight. |
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 4 May :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: worn out
:: Music: u don't have to call // usher
phew, last night was a toughy. weee hours of sleep. much studying & not passing that ap stats test. sad sad thing. o well.
um.. school was ok. danielle came back today =) um... all of us studying in lunch & in english. and then when me, liz, pretam, anand, avi & jb were walking to hellllll....yikes.
after stats exam, i got home, got dressed & went to boca for cheerleading. got dropped on my head. definitely didn't appreciate that. o well tho. in 5 years... thats never happened... and the one year it does... nobody cares. niiice. they worked us out tho. pain. i'm good tho. i can handle it... but watching some of them... well 99.99% of those girls drop to the floor & i'm still sitting up. whoa lol
swanson is a funny teacher.
"its sad when ur TEACHER isn't even motivated."
anyways, since i didn't get a call from jonah, imma hit the shower, study for chem quiz & do some extra credit in art history ttyl. xoxo
hope everyone enjoyed their day. PYCE, leave love.
anyone doing the saturday night hotel thing... bring $20 to school 4 me. gotta have it by friday so i can get it to neil. any questions call: 254.8483
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 2 May :: 11.08pm
partied, at what started as amanda's party but then got in the jb's car with him, britt, and neil and roamed around. good moments. <3 hittin' my head TWICE. seein' trent @ lake charleston, neil jumping outta the moving van, jb & britt just being dumb.
returning to amanda's party & jb eating all the cupcakes and stupid stuff. good time.
talked on the phone with jonah for a lil. fell asleep, woke up early, studied stats, went to work, came home, studied more, and now i am here. <3 talking to carlos & hema. miss hema. anyways i gotta dip cause i gotta shower... SSSSSMMMMMEEEEELLLLLLYYYYYYY eewww lol
take my hand..
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boricuababy
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2004 2 May :: 5.30pm
:: Mood: sniffly
:: Music: walk away
im about to break, i can't stop this ache..im addicted to your allure, and im fiendin' for a cure..every step i take leads to a mistake..i keep goin' right back to the one thing i need..im about to break and i can't stop this ache..getting nothing in return..what did i do to deserve the pain of this slow burn and everywhere i turn i keep goin' back to the one thing that i need to walk away from..now what to do, my heart has been bruised, so sad but it's true each beat reminds me of you..it hurts my soul 'cause i can't let go, all these walls are cavin' in..i can't stop my sufferin'..i hate to show that i lost control..casue i keepi keep goin' right back to the one thing i need..im about to break, and i can't stop this ache..im addicted to your allure and im fiendin' for a cure..every step i take leads to a mistake, i keep going right back to the one thing i need..i can't mend, tihs torn stateim in..getting nothing in return what did i do to deserve the pain of this slow burn and everywhere i turn i keep going right back to the one thing i need to walk away from...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hey peoples..if u were wondering..im feeling alot better now..i spent the weekend with my dad..which wuz iight..nutten major..we went to tha beach yesterday..it wuz an all day thing..everybody got sunburned..which sucked..poor tatie and tal..they got surburnt soo bad..i feel bad for them..tal wuz hysterically crying cuz she wuz burnt so bad..poor kid..they cant even walk..man, i wish i could of gone to amanda's party..i wanna kno how it went n who ended up going..sumbody tell me..lol..now im juss chillan at home..i tried to type up those notes for economics that are for extra credit..yea..lol..didnt work..well i hope everyone had a good weekend!!..wuv u guyz!!!..x0x0..ya gurl
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 1 May :: 9.26am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Loyalty // D12
Loyalty is 1st, all the bullsh`t is 2nd
\\ i'mma man and a man gonna do what a man gotta do, but he ain*t really family if he ain*t loyal 2 u. if they was really s0ldiers then they wud do what we d0o. //
yesterday wasn't bad. well ok... school was.
chem: if u couldn't tell... that's the reason i hate that class. ya got the 1st 2 rows of people that work 2gether, ya got all the guys on the right, pyros or w/e con jb, that r friends, u got christina, adam, & danielle (but she was absent cause of her wisdom teeth, <3 ya). and then u got... me. s0-o cute... cuz i go alone.
spanish: all i can say is: MS FRENCH WON'T BE HERE NEXT CLASS! thank the lord.
english: did my bio hw. nothing really interesting. jessica c & i = not a good idea to be together... talk too much smack lol.
bio: <3 this class lol. yoel was drawing pix of carrrrrr etc. & earl the homophobic. then yoel got ideas of what to draw for me... although he didn't draw the pic. haha. on the butt, write BLACK. woot. we all did the rest of our labs and what not. good class. x`o
after school: took a nap 'til 6:30pm and then jonah called my cell & woke me up ::shrug:: told jackie i wasn't working, so she came over & we went to see MEAN GIRLS. after watching that movie... i felt really guilty. o well. got outta there around 11:30. got home... and she slept over. i talked to jonah on the phone for awhile and then jackie & i fell asleep.
jackie left this morning, and now i'm doin' chores..... gotta go to amanda's tonight, but i might hafta leave early from the party cause family has something planned when daddy gets home.
danielle feel better. call me if u need me... i'll ride my lil' bike over there.
AP stats exam on tuesday... shoot me.
x`0`x`0
take my hand..
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boricuababy
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2004 30 April :: 6.32pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: overnight celebrity
this sucks..
i havent really eaten all day..i have no clue what's making me soo sick..i threw up twice since i got home..blahhhh..this is gonna be a sucky weekend i can tell already..:(
4 and hold it tight. |
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 29 April :: 9.07pm
:: Mood: my booty is numb...
:: Music: Leave // JoJo
time for an update-tion.
chem: not bad, i wish we had hw. this section is s0-o easy, this way i could bring up that bad grade that i have. ::sigh:: danielle isn't the only crazy one.
stats: well for the record i bombed my short response for the AP test. o well... i hope i pass when i take the real test on tuesday. i'm going to get the barring's book for it 2morrow. i believe.
other than that, the class was funny. i sold like a million candy bars in that class, pj didn't think i reached five feet, cause murnan measured me yesterday in bio. so pj has dr. baum measure me. BOO ya. lol. then he came up 2 me in lunch & said its just... not possible... but i can still be his midget friend. "tiny one" <3
economics: that class. fuck it. i wrote a note to jackie instead of listening to mr. epstein, and he was like s0-o pissed because someone stole his VCR-DVD player... he was slamming stuff & wow... talk about frustration.
art history: i love this class... s0-o like... our AP test has got to be as easy as those recent years. u can eliminate answers s0-o easily. & i showed anand up with my test taking skills... haha that was "all around" hoe! lol. i mean come on... if u knew that in #2 Der Blaue Reiter was done by Kandinsky & u can eliminate 2 answers from #1.... haha. yeAH! x`o
bus ride home: ok... we were planning saturday night's plans... but, i doubt thats happening... my goal was to prove Britt wrong because he is just seriously pissing me off lately. o well. i just told him to shut up. i can't take him anymore. but he is like... a brother to me... so i guess its kinda.. yeah.
when i got home i fell asleep. now i have to do a quick bio graph. might do that in morone's class 2morrow. um... i called jonah... his mom said he wasn't home. maybe he has just been going to baseball games every night, or perhaps he is grounding himself from the phone again? idk. but i am kinda getting.... annoyed. i love him tho, i love talking to him, i love being with him, i love being in love with HIM.
1o`12`o3
brii `n jonah
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 28 April :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: D12 World CD. WOOT THANK U CARLOS <3
the day gets better.
this morning = ok.
chem = got a lil' better.
spanish = seemed to go by faster today.
lunch = "ur name is briana right?".... bite me. thank u. other than that... it was good. <3 those people with me at lunch.
english = that test was s0-o easy.
Bri: hoe.
Anand: bitch.
Bri: isn't it the other way around.
[lmao]
180/200 on the research paper... YeAH!! something is definitely wrong with morone. o well... i don't mind hehe.
bio = she needs a sports bra. lmao. yoel, me & kayli. <3 then... sam's low heart rate. all i can say... BRIANA CAN'T COUNT. oops. one hit, one hit, carrrrr etc. lmao. i swore, i thought it was the rubber band.... but i have to admit that pulling that would have SUCKED testicles. PMS. wed. are the only "difficult days" lol... yeah i love those freshmen. haha
jackie marx & i went to jackie g's house afterschool. that was fun. talking about everything from guys to school to cheerleading... whoa. <3 munchin' on junk food & pimpin' in jackie's car. lol... jackie m. broke ur car lmao. she was so scared lmao. that was great.
practice was good today. leila taught a new chant, and we taught the traditional jumpline & the traditional, "we bring u" chant. <3 c0okiie & i messin' up. ALRIGHT lol. then, LEADING THE TEAM TO ..... VICTORY. haha. GOT IT! <333 good moments. no stunting = makes me satisfied. cheer gym next tuesday. i need $45. thank god. i'm selling candy, bring ur money tomorrow, $1. BUY SOME <3
O.C.: teresa = pregnant.... uh oh... RYAN'S BABY.... we were all wrong... o goodness.
called jonah... last night & tonight... didn't answer either times... ??? man.
talked to neil tonight, and talked to hema last night. thank heavens. had a nice talk with carlos last night & a funny convo with pretam, made me feel good.
tomorrow is thursday already. not looking forward to stats tomorrow, i know i might just break down in tears. but i do get paid tomorrow, and since mommy owes me $60.... its gonna feel like an X*tra big paycheck. YES!
x`o`x`o ttyl. i'm bored. its now 10pm. P*YCE
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 27 April :: 9.16pm
:: Mood: apathetic
watching re runs of real world. hehe
once again, i was up late last night too. i couldn't sleep. 2 much thinking.
chem: the quiz was ok. i still don't like that class. i feel like it's lonely. and then... it gets so lonely that i feel so stupid. and then i feel so stupid that i can't ask for help. and then since i can't ask for help, i just fail.
stats: i chose not to answer those questions on the short answer test. simply because i don't know how to do them. so pathetic. i don't know how... and i don't know why i can't do it... because i understand it... maybe it was because i couldn't keep my eyes open. idk... it was just another reason to add to a reason for tears.
economics: hate the class. thank god for sameen being there. somehow i go from a D to a B in the class... with 2 new grades added. 70/140 on the test & 60/50 on the notes... go figure.
art history: just waiting for it to end. didn't talk to anyone. carlos was writing all class. i just felt like banging my head against the desk. i will probably end up with a B in that class.
Chem: D
Spanish: B
English: ?? who knows... its morone.
Bio: C
Stats: C
Econ: B
Art: B
hoping to pull them up to:
Chem: C
Spanish: keep @ a B
English: hopefully have a B
Bio: keep @ a C or get a B
Stats: keep @ a C
Econ: have an A
Art: have an A
anyways... i'm kinda sad right now... over a million things... talking to carlos... cheerleading... school.... that stuff.
i just wanna c jackie, jonah, alex, hema, neil.... they care.
i love talking to jackie, no matter what she is always there for me. she cares about me... like... nobody else.
jonah is my boyfriend, and i can't live without him. that's love. member that? i just want him to hold me... see him more often.
alex is fun to hang with, and we manage to talk for hours about stupid stuff. she keeps me sane sometimes.
i miss hema. i want her to come back or i wanna live in the apartment that we planned to buy together.
neil... i just miss the fact that we are friends.... like... he knew when something was wrong & if it was he'd make me happy again... whether it was making fun of me or just putting his arm on my shoulder & giving me that funny look.... <3
these people could make me happy. i wanna change... i wanna make people happy.
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 26 April :: 9.48pm
:: Mood: Eating Sour Patches
forever is never. until today.
monday = monday.
up late last night. early school day. stupid chemistry class. i don't enjoy it anymore. stupid spanish test. never enjoyed ms. french.
s0... ate lunch. laughed at steven a majority of the time. funny, funny kid. went to morone's, studied for his 30 word vocab test in 5 minutes & passed. listened to peter try & uninclude amanda in their poetry analysis presentation. o0o, i oughtta beat the shit outta him for that. morone's class was fun, after that. i love being in there with those people. EVERYONE is s0o sweet & easy to get along with. went to murnan's class... sucked. took that quest, probably failed. but for our lab assignment i got stuck with sam & chris. but that's ok, but i have yoel who is a really funny/cool kid. <3
afterschool: went to jackie's house. me, ally & jackie ate a lil' something, got ready for the beach & pimped out to alex kelso's beach in jackie's BRAND NEW baby blue convertible buggy. w00t. s0-o much fun. shitty parking job tho, jackie... lol s0-o fun. and then... the beach with kelso. <3 after the beach we ran home & got ready for cheer practice... good stuff.
now i remember why i don't enjoy cheerleading.... because of the people on the atlantic varsity team. thank u. we did stunts today, right? everyone is telling me that i will be flying.. and then... nobody puts me up. instead, they put jackie up... and jackie isn't even on the team. +shrug+ i hate this place. however, i'm still cheering until i make park vista, which i am rather scared of trying out for. but yeah. i have melinda in my ear WHINING about shit... how she came to atlantic because of me and ellis and me leaving ib is going to stink. idk whatever.
so jackie & i talked a lil' and my mom came to get me. then poof.. i was home.
walked over to carol's and talked for a bit. booty girl was talking about how her and i have the same butt lol, "come here, lemme show my boyfriend this junk in the trunk" lol.
then... i was playing with her coach shoes. she says they give her blisters... she offered to give them to me, but they're a size 7, and that... happens to be to big for me. i'm only like a size 6. but they are soooo cute.
now... imma go do that crappy art hist hw.
damn... its only monday x`o
take my hand..
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bocaheath05
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2004 25 April :: 6.58pm
i just applied to be a chub, here's my application:
name: heather kinzer
bday: november 5, 1988 (15 yrs old)
C: most def, come on you know that
H: not really, but i prob will be... and i feel bad for them
U: i think i am..but who knows about others
B: oh hell yes my brother just said "heather" and i said "you know what brandon? i don't really care"
3 and hold it tight. |
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 25 April :: 4.27pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: Don't Tell Me // Avril Lavigne
work was pleasant.
i worked with walter all day today, fun! thank god he was there because it was s0o damn slow. we were picking on tom & pissing him off, making fun of kevin's hair, making fun of steven, & i was picking on walter for the wet spot he left on his butt.... eye level lol. hell yea it is.
anyways... idk why i'm s0o pissy. maybe its cause my dad is offering to pay for my phone bill this week which means i could have spent another $60 at the mall but instead i decided to save it for my bill... which i now... don't have to pay. or maybe its because my mom borrowed $100 off me... for her trip to chicago... which she claims to pay back on thursday. maybe its because i have all this money and because i want a car, i have to spend it on car insurance rather than new clothes. or maybe its because erica jipped me an hour of work today because she knew i am making $7 an hour, and didn't want me making more than i usually do.
o how i love the real world and the money.
perhaps i'm going to go out to dinner with daddy & my brother to a mexican resturant 2night. hehe.
did i mention... i love being able to spend my money... i haven't done it in so long, and i love having someone to shop with- who doesn't care about how much she spends or how long we stay in the mall, and i love being able to talk to someone who is so much older than i am about life, because her advice helps.
i love having my boyfriend, and the love. the feeling of being strong even though we rarely get together... but those butterflies that i get in my tummy every time i see him.... it just makes this world feel great. i miss hema. i love danielle & the friendship we have.
peace 0ut. A-Town Down.
P.S // thank u 4 the compliments on my journal. <3
2 and hold it tight. |
take my hand..
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playmate101
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2004 24 April :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: lovable.
:: Music: Turn Me On // Kevin Lyttle
today was deliciously lovely.
it's days like today that i love.
woke up at 1:30pm. found all my clothes lying around the house. here's the reason:
Daddy got home from Marlins game with Tim & my bro around 12am. Daddy & Tim hung out in my garage until about 5am this morning. Carol came here after work around 2:30am. They all went out & since she didn't wanna wear her work clothes, she grabbed some of mine.
anyways, after i woke up... Carol called & asked to go hang out at the pool with her. which i did. then around 4:30pm:
CAROL: "i REALLY want those green capris that u bought, & i have to go get my ring from the boynton mall sometime."
ME: "Let's go!"
CAROL: "Alright, let's go."
ME: "...i was only kidding."
CAROL: "o. let's go."
so we went home, got dressed, & buzzed off in the escalade lookin' all pimp. got to boynton, parked in B.F.E. & went into American Eagle. Bought a new outfit. she bought the outfit i already had cause she was dying for my pants & she bought the outfit i bought today... only in a different color & size.
got home. called jonah. went out to dinner with daddy. that chinese place had me laughing for hours. old people. old people with big white beards. chinese people with funny accents. lobster bibs. lotsa food. lotsa laughs.
now, i'm calling it a night. i might get ready for bed... do some hw. idk. we'll see.
1o.12.o3 x`o
[“•edit•“]
i can't sleep. it's 2am. re/did woohu
s0ngs 2 him:
¹. Cupid // 112
². iF i Ain'T Got y0u // Alicia Keys
³. i Pray // Amanda Perez
:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:
3 and hold it tight. |
take my hand..
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