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2004 16 August :: 9.22 pm
I just ran 5 miles. But not all at once....I ran 2 and a half miles then got off the treadmill and walked around the house for a bit...ate some dinner....walked around some more to digest then got back on the treadmill for another 2 and a half miles. I feel....sweaty....but good. I haven't really run in a long time....a mile every once in a while. Btw to all of you who haven't seen me all summer I'm not all that much skinnier...at all. But I'm definitely in better shape...I won't run out of breath after climbing a flight of stairs anymore so I guess that's better than nothing. Note to self: Eat less shit food.
Ok time to shower for real (I told Patrice I would come back online....I didn't come back until an hour later because when I said I was gonna go take a shower, I actually jumped back on the treadmill then sat around for awhile before coming back online...so sorry Patricia :-P)
Always, Sandy
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2004 15 August :: 5.51 pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
planner
School starts in more or less 9 days. Boo.
I'm so behind on my summer reading....
To read more about my entry today refer to this site:
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=chuckleheadedchick
Always, Sandy
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2004 13 August :: 10.41 pm
schedule
1. Physics -- Ravenscraft
2. Concert Choir -- O'Connor
3. English Lit Honors -- Isabelli
4. Wind Ensemble -- Sundell
5. Lunch/Orchestra --
6. Advanced Math Honors -- Czarnecki
7. Jr/Sr PE
8. US History Honors -- Dircks
***Temporary schedule...I'm dropping Advanced Math honors...I'm taking regular instead
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2004 10 August :: 1.26 am
:: Mood: like a dumbass
I haven't felt this stupid in awhile....I almost made it through the entire summer without feeling quite so stupid......finding out a piece of information can really make you crumble, yeah? Yes.
I'm gonna go crawl in my hole now.
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2004 10 August :: 12.58 am
:: Mood: i feel like an idiot
I want to crawl up in a hole and just die...ok i take taht back.....crawl up in a hole and scream and pull all my hair out until i am no longer able to produce sound and I am bald.....I want to hide forever right now. I feel like such a dumbass.
I'm sorry everyone for what I've become. I need to go "reflect".
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2004 8 August :: 11.19 am
:: Mood: itchy
purple post it notes
And I'm back dudes. Miss me? I've been slacking with the journaling a lot. ::Shrugs::
So let me tell you...I just finished the best two weeks of my summer....tiring yes...but awesome nonetheless. Let's just say I have so much more confidence for our upcoming musical...and I mean I'm more determined to get an actual part rather than just resorting to the chorus (I gave up thinking that I even had a chance at the other roles because...let's just say I'm not the world's greatest actor..I'm sorry...ACTRESS lol). These past two weeks have been so beneficial...I've learned a great deal...I'm sad that it had to end so soon. :-(
I had my recital on Friday...it was so sweet. That's probably the most fun I've had during a performance. This recital was a bit different...rather than having individuals stand up on stage, sing their song, then sit back down...we all had select scenes we had to perform from different musicals that were assigned to us beginning of the week (yes, that's right...we all learned a new song and had to memorize a monologue in 4 days because we weren't given our songs/monologues until Tuesday). We also had a radio drama that we performed....we basically all stood up on stage with music stands in front of us and read through a script....with commercials because afterall it was a RADIO drama.
So yes, that was my week...I've learned a great deal and I've improved not only vocally, but socially along with my stage presence. I say socially because I learned that I'm capable of making new friends outside of many circle of friends. You see, I'm not the most outgoing person when you first meet me unless I'm with several of my friends....but I've learned to step up and say "Hello" which is a pretty big deal to me. :)
Alright, enough of me rambling...I have to go to church...oh joy. <-- the period (.) was intended to express my lack of excitement.
Always, Sandy
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2004 5 August :: 12.57 am
:: Mood: sleepy
calculator
I feel weird. Am I the only person who's had a pretty good week? I mean, granted I've been tired as hell every day but it's been awesome. I'm really enjoying what I've been doing for the past week and a half. I abosolutely love it! I actually feel....good. It wasn't until last week that I finally admitted that I'm not tone deaf! I'm not going around going "Oh, I'm the best there ever was" because whoa damn...that is no where near true....I need to reach 30 something before I'll be considered awesome....maybe. But I realized I don't suck as much as I've always thought I did. That "voice" inside has been hiding all these years and I finally got a quick preview of it before it fully develops. It feels awesome to know that I'm capable of singing a certain way. It's such a rush. High notes being a rush? Yeah, whatever....what's more of a rush to me (now) is hearing my voice improve when I position my jaw differently. It's truly amazing and it's such a great feeling. The only thing I really don't like about this workshop is the hours. It's so freakin' long. I'm exhausted by the time I come home. In the past 3 weeks, I've only really gone out once. I've left the house but usually because I have a certain purpose. I'm too tired to leave the house. I just want to sleep...but then I remember I have to practice...and then I never get to it because I am Queen of Procrastination. ::Sigh::
I'm feeling very sleepy now...I'm gonna go to bed. That's what I said 2 hours ago but I never did because I decided I should run before I do....and then I needed to go in the shower because I was hot and sweaty and smelly....so here I am now...sitting in front of the computer screen about to pass out because I'm so sleepy.
So I go now. Goodnight.
Always, Sandy
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2004 28 July :: 11.25 pm
:: Mood: anxious
chocolate covered raisins
Oh man, get this: You know the recital I'll be in on Friday? The one for my vocal workshop thingy? Well, oh man this is exciting, I get to perform it with a jazz trio. I know! How cool is that? The jazz trio consists of...I believe...a piano, acoustic bass, and drums. I know...isn't that insane and completely cool? I'm excited!!! So yeah, I'm looking forward to that.
Always, Sandy
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2004 27 July :: 10.53 pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
chilled water
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with the need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
Yay!!! The Sandy Kim finally gets to perform her song in front of a live audience on a real stage!!! Who's excited? Not the Sandy Kim....of course not.....Oh shut the hell up....I'm superly excited...I finally get to perform this song!!! Ah!!!!!
Always, Sandy
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2004 26 July :: 10.23 pm
:: Mood: drained
wunder studios
I hate this. I absolutely hate this. Bah on a stick...a big fat hairy stick sitting on a log full of dead ants at that. People really do suck, don't they?
I should delete everything in my voicemail shouldn't I? Yes, I probably should...I don't even know why I save everything....it doesn't do me much good.
Once again, people suck.
Always, Sandy
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2004 25 July :: 9.08 pm
:: Mood: tired
crushed cookies
Yay we made finals for the talent contest! Our group was one of 11 group out of 18 contestants to make finals...not bad, eh?
Headache....ahhh I want milk. I'm eating chocolate...yes I actually found some.
Always, Sandy
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2004 23 July :: 1.29 am
:: Mood: hurt
dead batteries
Which do you value more?
Friendship or your newest crush?
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2004 21 July :: 3.13 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
nail clippers
I wanted to apologize to whomever I spoke with last night....especially Jorie and Patrice. I have it written in my Xanga but not in here....I've been having so many mood swings it's crazy. I'm easily pissed...just about everyone irritates me and apparently it shows because Jorie asked me last night if I was mad...I assure you I'm not mad...I don't know what I am but I promise I'll get over it in a couple days. And last night, I was being extremely stupid and started whining and complaining too much. I'm always saying how it really bothers me to hear people complain so much about their lives when they really don't have it all that bad...and that's exactly what I was doing last night...I was being extremely hypocritcal...so I'm really sorry. It's not a sarcastic apology. I just felt so stupid once I got offline. ::Sigh::
Well, I'm gonna go call Goli and then practice some more...our official recording was postponed to today....yipee.
Always, Sandy
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2004 20 July :: 2.24 pm
It's quite apparent that she hates me. She might as well say it to me face.
Don't ask me who.
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2004 19 July :: 3.37 am
::sigh:: i feel like a dumbass. so what else is new right?
i'm sorry everyone.
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