toki
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2005 23 March :: 10.23am
I don't want to update my journal. But I am. Woo hoo. Isn't this exciting?
1 persons said it |
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 22 March :: 9.10pm
:: Music: Sally's song
I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend
And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be
What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last
And will we ever end up together?
no, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one
i figured i'd make a fifth journal entry today...lol...being sick is boring.
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 22 March :: 7.28pm
NOTE: Woohu journal kids should sign in because most of my entries are friends only. That is all.
i found this thing on a random woohu journal. i will now answer it.
Instructions: write ten [very personal] statements intended to different people. never tell which one is for who.
1. you were a perfect friend. until you forgot me.
2. if only you had never gone.
3. such a long friendship should continue on in the future. im sad that it has had a lag.
4. i'll miss you after this year. i'll search for you if i lose you.
5. i dont know what i did. you'll never tell me because that's how you are.
6. sorry if i hurt you.
7. i wish you would just love me. i'll never be that good.
8. i'm sorry it's been so long. i hate her too.
9. i'm glad we stopped being friends. you are despicable.
10. i wonder how'd be if it never ended.
i read them and they are so clear. hopefully they are more vague to everyone else.
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 22 March :: 6.42pm
You Are a Sensitive Kisser
For you, kissing is a way to connect
And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy
It may take you a while to kiss someone...
But when you do, it's total fireworks
What's Your Kissing Style? Take This Quiz :-)
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i took this one twice......i dont agree but meh.
mmm mango........
Your Inner Muse is Thalia
You are most like this playful muse of comedy.
Life is all about laughter to you, and you're a natural comic.
You make people laugh until their sides split.
And you're always up for some play time!
What Muse Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
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funny, i knew that the muse for dance is terpsichore...:)
they're all greek...well.....muse....okie....clayton moment.
Men See You As Playful
Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmate
You know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guys
You enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualities
Men are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that!
How Do Men See You? Take This Quiz :-)
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interesting....very interesting....look she's wearing orange! i like orange.
heh...wrong....ill try again...
woo..i fail....no one fits....ill stick with this....
You are Milk Chocolate
A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.
What Kind of Chocolate Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
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Your Ideal Hairstyle: Subtle Layers
What Hairstyle Is Right For You? Take This Quiz :-)
who? and too bad im horrible at poetry
You Are Boyish Sexy
You're the kind of girl who gets along with all the boys
Whether it's holding your own in a game of touch football...
Or kicking some major butt while playing Xbox.
You hang with the guys easily, while still keeping your girly sexiness.
What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
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oh...its turning more wrong lately...im starting to be such a girl......:(
Your Passion is Red!
You've got that spark - a good dose of intensity, power, and determination.
You do whatever you want in life ... to hell with what anyone thinks!
With so many interests and loves, you're always running around doing something new.
You have fire in your eyes, and it shows. Bet you're even wearing something red!
What Color is Your Passion? Take This Quiz :-)
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You Are the Girl Next Door!
You're caring, warm, and the girl that nice guys want to marry.
Uncomplicated and simple, you've got an easy going attitude guys love.
But this doesn't mean you're dull - far from it!
You're a great conversationalist, and you're an expert at living the good life.
What Kind of Girl Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
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that's nice...now what famous pinup am i? lol
who?
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 22 March :: 1.31pm
:: Mood: rejuvenated
:: Music: Chevelle-An Evening with El Diablo
sick day!
today i stayed home cuz yesterday i wasn't feeling well at all. i think now that it might have been two weeks of not so much sleep and then the four hours......cuz sometimes if i stay up to late i get a similar feeling. but dont tell my mum that.....she already thinks im doing too much. anyway, at 7 o'clock this morning i was so dizzy that i could hardly get to my mum's bed.
but i am home now. it's fun. lol. i want to go rent the notebook. i had a sudden urge to watch it. just when pictures from a movie pop in your head. like that.
this is really a nonsense entry becuase i have two pages of a story to write and a collage to make and im procrastinating. i cant go downstairs cuz the cleaning ladies are here and i dont feel like getting dressed...at all.
it's pretty out.
okie....ama go mill about for a bit.
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 20 March :: 10.21pm
I've decided to stop making excuses.
"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes."
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 19 March :: 11.23pm
The diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor the man perfected without trials. ~Chinese Proverb~
who said that?
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toki
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2005 17 March :: 9.24am
:: Mood: angry
So…guess where I was last night? Guess….That’s right. I saw Les Mis. Quite sweet if you ask little old me. It was fun, but I was tired. Damn school is killing me.
This had been a weird week. Um…yeah. It went by surprisingly fast. I can’t tell if that’s good or not. I have to work tomorrow though and I really really don’t want to. I have to miss the poetry slam. :-( Urgh.
I’ve been in one of those moods recently where I’m insanely angry, but I don’t know why. Like…you know those days where you just want to get a box of expensive glass and throw it towards a brick wall? Yeah. So let’s pretend it’s Patrice’s birthday and get her glass objects to break. I would have a screaming party, but I can’t scream without coughing anymore. Poop. At least I’m getting better at holding my anger in. I haven’t exploded at anyone. In fact, I’ve been acting quite chipper this week. It’s not normal anger. It’s…I don’t know… it’s the kind of anger that slowly eats away rather then exploding right away. If that makes any amount of sense.
So I told myself I’d type up atlest some of my poetry today. But I kinda feel like writing an email to someone. Hm. I don’t know.
Watching Les Mis last night was crazy. Well, it was an awesome show to begin with. But the set had the windows like Melanie and I spent days on making square. And the music just brought me back to ushering and then to now and it’s crazy. Just crazy. Dude...Melanie...Les Mis was awesome. ::nods:: I know I’ve said this before, but we should go back to Les Mis. Minus a few factors. You know what I mean, ;-). Haha.
Okay dudes. I’m off to slack some more. Check ya later my supa fly G’s.
1 persons said it |
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 17 March :: 12.59am
:: Music: cold, shaky, confused
HABANERA
L'Amour est un oiseau rebelle
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser
Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle,
S'il lui convient de refuser.
Rien n'y fait, menace ou prière,
L'un parle bien, l'autre se tait;
Et c'est l'autre que je préfère
Il n'a rien dit; mais il me tient.
L'Amour est un oiseau rebelle
L'Amour
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser
L'Amour
Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle
L'Amour
S'il lui convient de refuser
L'Amour
L'Amour est enfant de Bohême,
Il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi,
Si tu ne m'aime pas, je t'aime,
Si je t'aime, prend garde à toi!
(Prends garde à toi)
Si tu ne m'aime pas si tu ne m'aimes pas je t'aime
(Prends garde à toi)
Mais si je t'aime si je t'aime prends garde à toi!
3 persons said it |
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 15 March :: 7.58pm
 | You scored as Art Freak. You artsy fartsy kid you. You rock my world.
Art Freak | | 56% | Loner | | 38% | Nerd | | 25% | Cheerleader/Jock | | 13% | Loser | | 0% | Punk Ass Kid | | 0% |
What's You're Sterotype?
created with QuizFarm.com |
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 15 March :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: crushed
i'm sorry this is mostly about my mother. but it is my journal and no one gives me nearly as many problems as she does.
today she pissed me off because i gave her a list and asked her to buy me deoderant and tampons because im out of both. i wrote it down specifically, which she always complains no one writes things down, and asked nicely. she asked questions, and i wrote down the type.....specifically so that i wouldnt get mad at her when she bought the wrong thing.
i asked if she bought them and she says:
"no"
"thanks for your help."
"you're welcome!"
"You're horrible."
"i only buy it if it's dire."
"it sort of is. i have no deoderant or tampons."
"i didnt know you were in need."
"Yes. This is how i KNOW tv is more important than me. i gave you the list last night."
"i have things to do."
i called her.
"i had to walk elaine's dogs"
"that takes fifteen minutes. i hardly ask you for anything."
"i have things to do too jorie."
"yea. so do i. g'bye."
"maybe family should be as important as your 5:30 party."
"i'm not your maid."
i called her again:
"you know what you always yell at me for being with elaine and calling gail but gail doesnt know anything about your friends. and you stopped bringing them over because of all the things you tell them about me."
"that's not even the issue. i asked you to get something for me, taking great care to write it all down specifically so that you wouldnt get frustrated that it wasnt right and asked you nicely to get them and you didnt even try. the reason i saked is because im still a little sensitive about buying tampons. and you're right; you arent my maid, but you are my mother. if you werent my mother, id ask my mother to buy them for me, but since you are, you got asked. im sorry im such a huge burden. ill talk to you later."
yes. that's all. it's a little overdone but i hardly ask her for anything. its just upsetting.
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 14 March :: 8.39am
from friday morning
Today’s one of those days where I really don’t feel like doing anything calm. I want to run or something. I hate this architectural drawing class. I will not be an architect. They are too quiet and awkward. Why cant he tell funny stories or something? Who wants to design a living room? I would like to wait a few years before I have to do that. Oh well. The point is that this class is boring and I am bored with it’s boring curriculum.
“it’s the perfect time of year, somewhere far away from here.”
I am eating special K. with strawberries. Dehydrated strawberries. They look so sad. I wonder if it hurts them to get dehydrated, because for us, it’s the most painful death. But maybe they’re technically dead when they are plucked from the vine. Strawberries grow on vines like raspberries, right? I wonder what having seeds is like. Do they just randomly burst once a month too? Or is it more like every two hours because a strawberries life span is so much shorter than ours.
If the average woman lives to seventy-five, and from the ages twelve to fifty, she is childworthy, that’s thirty eight years. Multiply that by twelve and you get four hundred and fifty six months. That’s a lot of eggs.
Seventy-five times twelve gets you nine hundred. So four hundred and fifty six divided by nine hundred equals 51%. The percentage of how often we get our menstral cycle is 1/456. So…now that I’ve done all that month work, even though it was unnecessary, a strawberry takes let’s say two weeks to fully develop and die. It probably takes the entire first week to grow useable seeds, which makes sense that it is approximately half it’s life and seeds are good even after death, like a chicken. There are 168 hours in a week. Multiply that by 1/456 and you get .368. Therefore, were a strawberry like us, their seeds would pop every 3 hours and seven minutes. Ours lasts a week, so a strawberry’s would have to equal every three quarters of an hour.
3 ?
672 168
4 persons said it |
who said that?
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toki
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2005 11 March :: 9.40am
:: Mood: Restless
No pressure
Yes. I am quite restless. I can’t sit still. I need to do something. I don’t want to go to band today. I have to tell Lestina my decision about orchestra. And I don’t know what to do. Honestly- right now- I don’t know what the hell I want or who I am or what is going to best influence my future. Lestina gave me a speech yesterday about how every decision I make from this point on is going to shape who I become. Uuummmm…. Is he aware of who he’s talking to? Let’s make this decision a little harder on you and tell you that your future character depends on whether you stay in orchestra or not!!! Sweet! No pressure. Okay. I don’t even know what college I want to go to or what I want to major in or if I want to stay at Rivertree or what I want for lunch. Most of those are life altering decisions. Let’s add orchestra to the list of life altering decisions that still need to be made. Good. I did need more things to not worry about.
Now remember…no pressure. Don’t make yourself crazy over these things! I mean, it’s just everything. But still…don’t drive yourself crazy over them. But the decision needs to be made… right now. Don’t worry though. If you get it wrong, you won’t have another chance. You only have one life. But still…no pressure. No pressure. Patrice…let’s do this. I won’t pressure you, I swear. But I’ll sit here and beg until you say yes. I’ll listen to you…as long as it’s the answer I want. Otherwise there has to be something wrong with you. What’s wrong with you? Nothing? No, it’s not nothing. Tell me. Don’t worry. I won’t get mad. There’s really not nothing wrong with you. Of course I know you better then you know yourself! I can just tell these things. Tell me…but really…no pressure. What? Did you say yes? Sweet. That must mean everything’s okay. Like I said…no pressure. Why do you look sad? You should have said no. Why do you worry like that? You think I won’t want to be with you anymore? Well it’s not true. That doesn’t matter. What? You tried saying no? Well…I’m sorry. Now I’m sad. Please don’t be mad at me. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. What? It’s all good. Okay, good. Like I said…no pressure. Patrice…come talk to me! We haven’t talked in ages! Did you do your homework? Yes?! That’s your only answer?! God! You never talk to me! Never! But I understand if you don’t want to. If I’m really that bad of a mother, it’s fine that you hate me. Really. No pressure. What? You’re tired? You want a day to relax? Well…I understand. Quit your job! Really! We’ll pay for everything! We told you we’ll only pay for a part of college…but hey! Who needs to pay tuition?! Like I said…quite working. You don’t need the money… Really…no pressure. What? Me? Depressed? No way! I’m happy now! In two minutes though, I’ll be sad again. And it’ll probably be your fault! Why? Why not! Because if I didn’t have kids, I wouldn’t be in this situation, I wouldn’t be married. I would be happy with my life. And you guys just keep bring me further and further down as I realize how much you hate me. But really…be honest with me. No pressure.
That probably makes no sense at all. But the bell’s going to ring soon and my eyes feel like they’re about to light on fire and fall out of my head.
PS- I’m insane. Just so you know.
who said that?
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toki
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2005 10 March :: 9.23am
:: Mood: exanimate
Nazi Librarians
News of the day: Xanga is officially blocked on school computers. Gasp. I know. How am I going to be updated on everyone’s lives?! It’s a monstrosity. Wow, I spelled that right on the first try. I truly am a god. But really…what’s it going to help blocking Xanga from us? Because if you have a Xanga you probably have a billion other journals which aren’t blocked. So I guess it’s back to woohuing for me. ::shrugs:: It’s more fun anyways. Plus I know the thousands of you that read this journal will need updates o my life as well. :-P
So. I feel stupid. You want to know something? I’m a bad person. I’m a bad friend, a bad girlfriend, a bad sister, a bad daughter. Ryan got mad at me last night for not being…what’s that word? I don’t know. For being the one who sits and waits for him to say or do something. And the thing is… I know I do it. And I’ve known that it bothered him. Why do I do it then? I’m scared. God, I’m so scared. If I take the initiative, what if he doesn’t want to return it… you know? I know. I’m being stupid. But…god. He was telling me all these things that I don’t do and how it kind of bothers him. Simple things that should be completely obvious to me. Which they are, I just am evil and terrible and do nothing about it. What he said makes sense and I feel bad.
But, I don’t know. He got mad…well not mad…annoyed because I’ll be hugging him and then I’ll lose my balance and you know me…I’m a klutz. Plus…he’s taller then me. So to hug him I stand on my toes sometimes. Don’t ask me why. Then he’ll move and me…leaning on him while standing on my toes.... isn’t aware that he’s going to move, so therefore I lose my balance. I don’t know. Everything he said makes sense. But I’m clumsy beyond belief. After seeing a movie I can’t walk out of the theatre without tripping over my own feet. It’s not like I mean to lose my balance so often. So I don’t know what to think.
He deserves much better then me. In my eyes at least. I really really don’t think I deserve him. He’s so nice to me and I freak out about the stupidest things and he puts up with it. Holy hell. I just sound crazy now. You know what? I’m just really bad at showing that I care about him. You would think the girl is the one who gets annoyed because her boyfriend shows no emotion. But no. It’s quite the opposite in Patrice land. Quite scary, eh?
I just feel bad for not being good enough. And that’s my story. So it’s official. I’m heartless and cold and I need to be unselfish. ::nods::
I just took this allergy stuff to make me feel better. On the bright side…I can breath. The darker side…I can barely stay awake. Gov is going to be good fun today. ::commands you to sense the sarcasm:: But I am getting a smoothie after school maybe. Which rocks my socks which are really my brother’s but I ran out of socks today so I’m wearing them. My mom wants to get me tested to see if I’m anemic. But every time I think of that I word I say ameobic. Like amoebas. Hm. I want to write an email to someone. I wonder if aol works on these Nazi computers.
I still have the Kimis and her Smithis in my binder thing. It’s weird. Remind me to take it out. Just because it seems that I have a Kimis obsession. Which…as you all know…I do. But I can’t show it. Pish. Urgh. My eyes are starting to hurt. So this is where I stop. Adios mi mejores. (What does that mean? I don’t know either…)
4 persons said it |
who said that?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 4 March :: 7.24pm
so i definatly want to see cirque du soliel somewhere......i would go to australia to see them.......hell that'd be super awesome.
i want to see a broadway show really badly.......or even go to london
oh man
how about just a really big show in chicago......im supposed to go with jill and i really hope i can!
i also want to get my molars pulled.....
oh my lungs got all tied up when i was looking at the cirque stuff...
theres a show in toronto from the fourth to the twenty eighth of august!!!
i would drive myself up there just to see it.......and spend the seventy dollars on it!!!!
oh god........
going somewhere else would not only cure my desire to see it, but my desire to see something other than suburbia and fucking america!
ahhhhhhhh
i need to calm down i cant breathe......
oh i wanna meet gir too which i might be able to do!!!!!!!
know where.........someplace
know when......the week of JC......crap.
oh well ill be like gir is more important than running crew!!!
who said that?
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