I spent a lot of today in the place where a year ago I spent time with my boyfriend.

I just want to stop thinking about it. it's not as harsh as before, but i still miss the smell. at least i'm beyond any sort of crying.

I forgave a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have. Being late all the time, not calling, drinking, never letting me meet his friends, calling people spiks, for making me rethink my morals, for cheating on me. . .on and on.

But I won't forgive him for stealing my summer, for taking all of my good memories and tainting it with lies, for making a fool out of me.

that bastard. he came back and ruined everything again. i was going to be okay. he lied lied lied and manipulated me. he's always been good at that. now when i drive past fulton i want to go to his house and crawl into his bed because i know he's in europe. and then i'm so creeped out by thinkng that, that i want to take a nap.

and i don't want him to forget me. and i want to stop transfering my emotions to other people.

god.

at least i still have two things that he didn't destroy: my virginity and my pride.

7 sheila rides | daphne descends