.j.e.s.s.
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2006 6 December :: 11.34am
:: Mood: Upset.
:: Music: none.
I have come to the conclusion that I hate this so-called thing called "The Real World".
Is it wrong of me to sit here and listening to this MKTG 412 class start to leave the class room and converse with one another and feel completely certain that 85% of the words that come out of their mouths are so fake and empty? Is it wrong of me to feel that every sentance that is supposed to come out of them with feeling and emotion sounds to me as a lie. Is it wrong of me to feel totally weird that when they talk to one another it's just all an act.
is it wrong for me to think about how they are acting like robots.... when they go home don't they change into sweats and lounge on their couches?? doesn't everyone? they dont honestly go home and stay in their buisness suits and panty hose and high heels and sit in an upright chair making charts and graphs... no one does that. okay maybe not no one. but REAL people. that is what i'm talking about. real people. don't they head home after this and start using SLANG words and maybe throw a cuss word or two around? isn't that comfortable? doesn't anyone go home and open a bag of oreos and dunk it in their milk like a normal person??? can you imagine a bunch of "suits" dunking their oreos? can you? please...
is it wrong of me to walk into a church and get tears in my eyes because i feel like there are conformists. is that the right word? no... i feel like there are people who are certain of where they are going but are yet to find out they are not. ( this is not to offend ANYONE . this is not sarcasm, these are just my feelings FYI)
Is it wrong of me to hurt when people are just talking to each other? I just analyze it all too much i know. But it hurts me that people are just... yeah
where have all the real people gone
i dont want to go to this school
i want to go to a school where there are gays and there is a lesbian club and there are crazy artistic expressive people. i want to go to a school where everyone accepts each other and everyone gets to know each other. i want to go to a school that has an I LOVE JESUS club and tries to introduce everyone to the Lord. I want to go to a school that expresses individuality.
i want to go to a school where people are real.
i can't be cooped up here anymore. i dont know what i'm going to do with my life as far as a career and i can't stay here any longer pretending that i'll be satisfied with myself as a medical assistant or as a health whatever managment blah blah blah 4 year degree office type.
Is it wrong of me to want something creative and new and fresh and meaningful ... is it wrong of me....................................... i know i wont ever MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. but i have to do something.... smarter with myself. please
I NEED TO HELP PEOPLE.
i need to have a satisfying rewarding career.
i need to know that with my everyday work, i make people feel BETTER. More ALIVE. More REAL.
ugh. what do i do. ? please.
5 Added Water!! |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 5 December :: 8.54pm
can anyone please help me fix my computer. i am getting SO pissed off.
my dvd player in my computer,,,,.... it will play dvds and the video is fine and up to speed but the sound just skips and skips and no it's not the dvd i'm not that dumb but please help me someone or i am going to throw this thing off my balcony. please!
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 5 December :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: bored
The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out
1) What side of the heart do you draw first?
Left side
2) Can you dive without plugging your nose?
i can't dive
3) What color is your razor?
pink
4) What is your blood type? i think b pos
5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
roman or jess prob.
6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you?
ummm that i'm a bitch or that i am mean or hmm i duno i can think of one specific person who just never has enough shit to say about me to another certain...person!!! but oh well she's a bitch anyway. and that's not a rumor.
7) How do you feel about carrots??
they are orange and okay-tasting
8) How many chairs at the dining room table? well if you mean my table.. there are 2...
9) Which is the best Spice Girl?
who knows ...who cares
10) Do you know what time it is?
6.42
11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?
no that show annoys me
12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
i was just thinking about that today as i rode an elevator... um i would probably just relax and take a nap while someone came to rescue me. i might actually be happy about it.
13) What's your favorite kind of gum?
orbit the green kind
14)T or F: All's fair in love and war. no
15)do you have a crush on anyone? no
16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
riiight that doesn't make sense.
17)Do you like to sleep?
way too much.
18) Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings Time?
are there any? i dont think so
19) Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?
yes pretty piano in it.
20) Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
sure i'd sell it though
21) What's something you've always wanted?
a wonderful family
22) Do you have hairy legs?
i guess when i dont shave them :0/
23) What does "Semper Fidelis" stand for?
duno but denee' says it means 'always faithful' and since i copied this survey from her, i know that.
24) Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
lake i dont like salty oceans
25)Do you wear a lot of black?
yeah actually lately
26) Describe your hair?
stupid
27) Do you have Entomophobia?
is that even a real phobia?
28) Are you an adult?
according to my age.
29) Where is/are your best friend(s)?
roman is right next to me playing video games, jess is at the airport i guess and jessie g is at school
30) Do you have a tan?
no not yet but i juust finally bought a tanning package thank goodness
31) Are you a television addict? no but i love grey's anatomy
32) Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? yes because i miss her now that i dont live with her. and she is an awesome person. *tear*
33) Are you a sugar freak? i like my chocolate. a lot.
34) Do you like orange juice? it's ok.
35) What sign are you?
pisces
36) Where do you wish you were right now?
halfway around the world. not havingto worry about money or anything.
37) Who did you copy this from?
denee'
38) How do you know them?
been friends for a long long time. how can you not know the millerings?
39) Have you kissed anyone in the past week?
yeah
40) What are your plans for the weekend?
work of course and most likely nothing else. kinda like all my weekends.
1 Added Water! |
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runningfreak
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2006 3 December :: 10.41pm
I just wrote a paper on why Jello wiggles and jiggles.
I love collage.
I also have a blinking gopher on my tree and he is the best blinking gopher I have ever seen.
4 Added Water!! |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 December :: 11.18pm
i'm gonna volunteer to be a mentor at wedgwood . isn't that cool? i'm excited
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 December :: 11.40am
yeah nevermind i'll just be a nothing.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 30 November :: 11.06am
Don't you ever feel like you are just stuck in a bubble and rolling rolling rolling down the road of life just doing the same dang thing over and over and over and getting absolutely no where.
doesn't anyone ever just want to move away out of the country and just like move away from everything and get away.
........................................my life is boring and i dont like it.
i feel like i am more than what my current life is letting me be.
i feel like i'm never going to get anywhere with what i am doing now.
i need to live more. i need to live more before i settle down and just settle for being a medical assistant or whatever. but i could never go any further with working at fricken menards.
1 Added Water! |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 26 November :: 6.52pm
i think i finished my papers.
wow you have no idea how long that took me.
DUMB!!!!!! college is dumb.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 25 November :: 6.07pm
kids:
dont move out of your parents house
no actually do
go away to college and live in a dorm and use all your parents money so you dont have to worry about anything for like maybe 4 years
but don't move out and try to get your own place and go to school and work and shit. it's not worth it. i want a life. i want a life.
fuck.
i hate my life.
2 Added Water!! |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 24 November :: 1.30am
ughghghghhgg...
i can't sleep when i'm all alone.
bleh. should i go shopping tomorrow?
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 22 November :: 11.57pm
okay well i wrote the hugest entry about how i love roman. and it got deleted ...
but let's just sum it up shall we.
Romey, I love you babe.
and i love my family too.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 22 November :: 6.04pm
I am so upset by the whole Michael-Richards-going-crazy-and-being-all-rascist-and-then-going-on-Letterman-and-looking-even-more-stupid-trying-to-apologize thing that I can't even enjoy Seinfeld anymore.
I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY SEINFELD ANYMORE!!!
good goin' Kramer.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 18 November :: 6.25pm
:: Mood: confused
help
okay seriously. why cant i do my homework. i just wont allow myself to do it. i seriously wont. what is wrong with me?
and it's not just this.
i can't
do
anything.
ugh. but hey i already knew that so whatevv. ............................ i knew i'd be like this. i knew it. is it wrong that i just want to get married and have kids. it's not that i dont ever want to get an education or have a job. i'm smart. and i like feeling like i'm good at a job or whatever but i just dont .............want that...?? i just want to be a mom. that's so bad! no it's not. it's not bad. it's not bad that i want a family and that i want to be a great mom and have a great family why is that wrong? that's not wrong? but yet i dont want all that SO YOUNG. i dont want all that right now . but i just dont enjoy .................. i dont enjoy like ...working for this undefinable goal that i'm supposed to have since i have a scholarship and blah blah blah but every one says that medical assisting is not enough. well i'm sorry, i'm not striving for this goal to become a doctor or pharmacist or biochemical engineer or whatev. i just dont ... want that
so is something wrong with me because i feel like that? explain it to me.
3 Added Water!! |
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runningfreak
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2006 12 November :: 10.53pm
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.
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Your Birthdate: September 15
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You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.
You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.
Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.
You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.
Your strength: Your intense optimism
Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents
Your power color: Jade
Your power symbol: Flower
Your power month: June
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