Uh....

Uh....

:: 2006 26 February :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: Annoyed

The longer I tried denying this, the worse I feel. I've come to realize that pretending I don't hate you isn't making anything better. The truth is, I've never hated anyone more. Sometimes I say that I hate someone when I'm talking to one of my friends and i'll be like "oh yeah I hate him/her" but I never mean it. Things are differen't with you. I truly hate you and nothing will ever change that. I don't feel bad for saying this. You have no idea how much you've ruined things. You're so fucking ungrateful and selfish that I can't even stand it anymore. I seriously hope you choke.

Glad that's all out in the open now.

swimfan14

:: 2006 26 February :: 12.37pm

You got your own way of looking at it, I guess that proves that I got mine. It's just who we are.

We've come too far to start over now. I know what you're thinking. I'm not always easy to be around but I do love you. You keep me believing that you love me too and I know it's true. This love drives us crazy but nobody's walking away so I guess we'll have to do it the hard way.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 26 February :: 12.03pm

yesterday started out pretty rough.... but fortunately got better.

we went and saw brokeback mountain... it was really good. keegan didnt like it. whatever.

then we went to oasis. that was nice.

and then this morning he wouldnt make me french toast because he has to complain and whine about everything. so i had frozen waffles. i just want to be treated like a princess like other girls. their boyfriends make them breakfast. mine wont even cook.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

eddy	:: 2006 25 February :: 11.44pm Don't ask me how I find these things. Just click it. lol CLICK ME wait for the music. have some nuts?

tonyp.

:: 2006 25 February :: 8.48pm

i hate to bitch and complain soo much but im gona and if your my friend youll listen.
i hate this, i feel like a ass hole. i feel like im a horriable person because im mad at my mom. it pisses me off to see how shes acting how shes milking this for all its worth, i feel like it might not be as bad as it really is. everyone is making her think shes completely helpless and is gona die and thats how shes treating it, its like shes giving up and that makes me mad as hell.
my car is a piece of shit, i was suppose to be getting a better car when i got ride of my thunderbird insted i got a car with a leaky gas tank and on top of that i get in a god damn accident.
i get my hopes up because of chad and getting a job at a shop but nope. once again i think im gona get a job and of course i get let down.
not to sound like a depressed emo kid or anything this is just how i feel......i feel like the whole god damn world is out to get me, i need a break.

4 squirrely | have some nuts?

Tails

:: 2006 25 February :: 7.24am

i hate the casino...they suck they are loud boring and make you lose 20 bucks LOL>!

1 squirrel | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2006 24 February :: 11.41pm

Tonight was really good I guess you could say.

First I went to Aarons after school and then we went to the game.

I seen Ryan Case there and I was really happy. I haven't seen him in a while and then I was just walking and someone called my name and I turned and it was Martha and Ashleigh. I was so excited. I haven't seen either of them in over a year now. Martha had a baby named Alex and he's 6 months old and Ashleigh's baby is 5 months old and her name is Haleigh. They both were so cute. I was holding them the whole time.

Oh and so then of course I'm just minding my own business when Sara comes up to me and she either heard Josh saying this to someone or he told her but anyways I guess he was saying how he wanted his cousin to meet me because he has the biggest crush on me and blah blah blah and so Sara said I should go talk to him and I was hell no that's not going to happen. It's too akward for me now. It's fine not knowing if someone has a crush on you and yeah if you have a crush on them then that's perfect but when you don't it just makes things akward and it basically made things 10 time worse when he wrote a fucking SONG about me. I've never had anyone do that before and it's just a little weird esp. since in the song it said "I want to love you forever." Yeah..that's what I said. It's just too much for me and I don't know how he became so in "love" with me since I've never liked him back and i've also never lead him on. He loves me but he doesn't know who I am and of course after the game Aaron and I are walking to my car and Josh is also in the parking lot and he has to make it known that i'm outside so he starts talking really loud so Josh can hear him and look over and see us.... It's just too fucking weird for me. First I get flowers by one boy and now im getting songs by another. It's not really cute unless you actually are dating this person. Now I'm just getting annoyed by this whole thing and I feel bad for complaining about this it's just I need to vent right now and everyone else in the world is sleeping.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking. When you fall, everyone stands, and you've had your fill of sinking.

have some nuts?

tonyp.

:: 2006 24 February :: 4.57pm

well god damn
i was driving home from sand lake and some smart ass pulled out of the bank and just kinda waited for me to hit him.... my shoulders alittle sore and my car is too but its all good. the guy seemed nice, poor basterd only had the car for two days.

4 squirrely | have some nuts?

holiday

:: 2006 24 February :: 12.43pm

There's a fire forming, not too far from here
Along the east coast maybe, it resides in you, my dear
Worn out on our courtesy, we've made our curtain calls
Like vampire bats deprived of blood, into the New York City night we crawl

have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2006 23 February :: 8.35pm

You know..I can't remember the last time we kissed because you never think the last time is really the last time. You always think there will be more. You think you have forever but you don't. -Greys Anatomy

Yeah so...it's like...I really want to tell you...but then again I don't want you to know.

have some nuts?

Brad	:: 2006 23 February :: 7.27pm :: Music: E.P. - If i can dream -.- Yay. 4 squirrely \| have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2006 23 February :: 6.23pm

You say we're bitches but we laugh because we knew it way before you did.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

stinko

:: 2006 23 February :: 2.46pm

holographic puzzles are NOT as cool as they may seem. it just makes things so much harder. like you try to fit the pieces together, but you can't because everytime you turn them a little bit, the picture changes.

wtc?

shit. what's wrong with just wanting things to be a little bit more like they used to?

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

Tails

:: 2006 23 February :: 12.53am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Silence and the sound the computer fan makes.

not to much man
so, i have more hours at the catoring company again but i still totally need a full time job so that i can MOVE OUT...i mean i kinda sorta gave up cause i spent so much time bitching about it by the time i do move out it wont seem cool anymore and everyone will be like "matt your just a little bitch like always, cept now your a little bitch with an apartment, bitch!" and ill smile and laughing and then kill myself with more cancer. which i need to stop doing. but anyway. so yeah i guess life is at an odd odd standstill. things arent bad. things arent good.

I'm getting 80.92 cents for income tax from arbys...

Megan...not sure how to start addressing the issue.

Do you bring up past problems to fix them if your just now finding out all the really imporant details?

I should ask for some more W2's from the catoring company...cause i have gotten 3 of them...and just keep forgetting to fill them out...then i lose them and bad stuff happens to me when the IRS dosent understand how im getting such large monetary assests without having and form of a job...

But when my free time's gone will you promise me this? That you will please bury me with it?

8 squirrely | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2006 22 February :: 3.59pm

Take me. Break me. Every mile further there's a part of me that slips away. One day you'll see, even if you got down on your knees you couldn't make me stay.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 22 February :: 8.52am

monday keegan and i saw date movie. with out a doubt, that was the dumbest movie i've ever seen in my entire life. we were about ready to walk out of the theater it was so stupid. never in my life can i imagine enjoying such a tasteless classless film as this one. honestly... anyone who dares wasting their money on that movie deserves to be shot. (we used the gift certificates his mom got us for christmas therefore nobody directly spent money on it.... therefore we're safe.... lol) seriously... i just had to update to warn everyone. its not funny, its disgusting... and made me sad for the actors and their now flawed careers.

yesterday i made cupcakes for the break dancers (they have practice every tuesday, thursday and saturday) and i drew little stick figured breakdancers on them with this gel stuff. awww. i shall be known as the crew mom. *giggles because im just the cutest*

hmm.. thats all i suppose.

4 squirrely | have some nuts?

Iron-Cipher

:: 2006 21 February :: 10.39pm

My name is Nicholas and I am loved very deeply and completely by a young woman named Rachel. This young woman loves me very dearly and tries her darndest to make me happy and smile when I'm feeling a little down. Earlier today, I was a bit upset and antisocial. Instead of pressuring me, Rachel left to run errands and returned to keep me company. Very sillily, in an effort to make me smile or just to be weird, she read to me from The Little Prince. She tries her best to force that book on me at every turn.

Anyway, this Rachel girl loves me very much at tries to prove it as much as she can. She makes food for me every once in a while and on Sunday made a little indoor winter picnic for us to share. She lets it be known that she loves me very much. From my smile handles all the way down to my little feetsies.

Although the loss of my job and Rachel's future trip to France has set our plans back a few steps, Rachel still would love with all her heart to move in together. Being that we're both poorer than pancakes, it doesn't seem to be much of a real goal anymore. Rachel is constantly on the search for another job so maybe it's still attainable, either way it's something we hope to achieve at some point in the future.

Rachel loves me a whole lot of oodles and still hopes, in her hopelessly romantic way, to someday be my wife. Whether it's three or ten years from now, I know she'll stick around. As long as she gets at least a ring after five years of putting up with me. Heaven knows she needs a reward for that.

Our two-year anniversary is coming up soon (sort of) and it seems like we've been together for so much longer than two measly years. I suppose it has something to do with time flying when fun is had but surely this comfortability and feeling that it has and never will be any different from how it is now must come with a lot more time than two years.

Anyway, Rachel loves Nick. With all her heart. For always and forever and for a day or two. Three if he cooks. (He does. Very well indeed. I am willing to add on three months for that.)

(This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Rachel who can't seem to stretch her paper to six pages but somehow can easily write about nothing for one.)

1 squirrel | have some nuts?

holiday

:: 2006 21 February :: 10.14pm

Oh my goodness.
That was an awesome time. Went to the Grand Culinary Affair. Pretty cool. My feet ache like whoa though cause I wore stupid shoes. It was worth it. Tickets were $65 so I was happy I got to go. There was a lot of awesome food and I saw a lot of people I worked with and knew. I'm glad my aunt had a good time.
The most fun was the dart game. For $20 you get 2 throws. You aim at chef hats and then people pull cards out and the number on it corresponds to a gift. Well I didn't ever think I'd play cause it was so much, but my aunt gave me $40 to do it. So I threw and won 2 things... It was so cool. I got my knife kit for school, and normally it'd be about $250 or so...And I got a cookbook so that's pretty neat. It was a good time.

have some nuts?

tonyp.

:: 2006 21 February :: 7.16pm

well im alittle bumbed, i was suppose to be getting a job at a tattoo shop that chad (the guy to is teaching me ) was going to start up. it would be his second shop and he wanted me to run it. well turns out that one of the guys didnt want to start a second shop with him and the third guy ended up in jail so im not getting a job, oh well i guess its best i need to stay home and take care of everone. today was my moms first kemotherapy treatment. i guess it went well shes sleeping now, she has been sence 4:30 i guess kemo takes alot out of you. i have a favor for all my friends who still go to school or see me ever. to start collecting pop taps and send them to me, it helps pay for my moms treatment and it helps the kidney dialisas (i dont know if thats how its spelled). so if you see me and your nice enough to but some taps in a baggy that would be awsome. i got a nintendo game cube yesterday and i went out and got some games but i need a memory card or everything that i do dosent get saved. any one have a gamecube memory card they want to sell me for cheap....im broke.
well thats it.

7 squirrely | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2006 21 February :: 4.23pm
:: Mood: sick

I feel like shit. My lungs feel like they are going to..I don't know, fall out or something if I cough anymore. It's sucky. I hate being sick. Why can't I just be healthy for at least a month straight?

I said I wasn't going to go out tonight because I just stated that I'm sick but I don't want to cancel my plans at the last minute. I'll just go, have a good time, and not complain.

Haha what an akward day for Elyse and I. We never should have told that boy those things. Now he thinks we love him just as much as he loves us. We were only kidding. It was all just for a joke. So now I have to avoid him and when I do run into him, I just have to look the other way.

have some nuts?