friends | profile | guestbook


XxManifested.TearzxX

recent entries | past entries


:: 2004 22 July :: 1.00 am

today was miss kelsey elisabeth rose dunnes bday and we had a gather for her :-) robbie jimmy me jessie ashley meggy katie sarah and kelsey of course were there we had fun

I LOVE YOU KELSEY


Your back curves like a creeping vine
with the answers in the fluid in the stem of the spine
In the black-coffee bowl of your eye
why do you overestimate the size of the lie?

I've seen
the dangers of
your rising sign
but i swear
i'd like
to drink the fuel straight from your lighter
it's all inside the wrist, it's
all inside the way you time it
i resent the way you make me like myself

my nerves jump
like a boiling pan
like a skillet full of oil spits,
rattling on the burner
when i stumble onto the thought
of the match you lit and dropped and set the
dial to slow yearn

i've seen
the dangers of
your rising sign
but i swear
i'd like
to drink the fuel straight from your lighter
it's all inside the wrist, it's
all inside the way you time it
i resent the way you make me like myself


can i spell it out?
should i spell it out?

i've seen
the dangers of
your rising sign
but i swear
i'd like
to drink the fuel straight from your lighter
it's all inside the wrist, it's
all inside the way you time it
i resent the way you make me like myself


-----

its like you see into my mind
you read me like a script
speaking each word so fluently
leaving shivers down my spine
as they cascade down my earlobes
melting like a snowflake upon my cheek
or a tear drop flowling solemnly to an imminent death
i cannot grasp the concept yet
of how you make me feel
but my heart beats faster
and i cant help but smile
the biggest smile
its beauty like a rose
the fragrance and sight
bringing tears to my eyes
foreshadowing the joy
the happiness
and the time ticking endlessly
and the light flickering between what should be and what could be
i dont know what to think
see
know...
but i know what i feel
and its something
swayed by the venom in your words
as they cascade down my earlobes
melting like a snowflake upon my cheek

----

^me

nothing ends that doesnt start
llike a rose you are the heart
you often find alone at night
yourself intwined with delight
i see you walking toward the sun
and when we're talking i dont want to ever be done
you light up days shrouded by fear
and never even drop a tear
you contact spirits from above
and help them find their inner love
a juggalette is always hot
but a normal juggalette your surely not
you beat them all with no intention
you suck me in to another dimension
i feel like im floating and thati might just have wings
you are the one who made me feel all of these things
you get the things you certainly need
and deserve it, you do indeed

- derek :-)

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 20 July :: 1.19 am

KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: jew
BlckTangldHrt35x: fuck you
BlckTangldHrt35x: jew
BlckTangldHrt35x: go jew yourself up the ass
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: whoa
BlckTangldHrt35x: come on alex you can do it put a little jew into it
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: what the fuck? this isn't the little jew that could

-----

KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: im sick of everyone tryina be me all the time
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: being famous and so dashingly good looking, isn't easy
BlckTangldHrt35x: alex
BlckTangldHrt35x: did you have any relatives like uncles or anything who got a divorce?
BlckTangldHrt35x: ?
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: umm
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: my uncles black
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: does that count?
BlckTangldHrt35x: no
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: oh
BlckTangldHrt35x: did any have a divorce?
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: he can steal your tv in the middle of the night, and you'd just think it was floating.
BlckTangldHrt35x: seriously did they
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: umm
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: i think my black uncles wife and daughter left him after he went back to jail
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: lmao
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: how bout that?

---

BlckTangldHrt35x: i love you
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: oh
KaRt00nNiTeMaRe: i love u too haha

i love alex kaplan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 18 July :: 12.22 am

I gotta new life
You would hardly recognize me I'm so glad
How could a person like me care for you
Why do I bother
When you're not the one for me
Oooo, is enough, enough

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong

Under the clear moon
For so many years I've wondered who you are
How can a person like you bring me joy
Under the pale moon
Where I see a lot of stars
Oooooo Is enough, enough

I saw the sign...
oooh Oh oooh

(Instrumental)

I saw the sign and it opened up my mind
And I am happy now living without you
I've left you, ooohhh
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong

I saw the sign - I saw the sign


1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 15 July :: 11.16 pm

I want to love somebody
I hear you need somebody to love
Oh I want to love somebody
I hear you're looking
for somebody to love

'Cause you need to be back
in the arms of a good friend
and I need to be back
in the arms of a girlfriend

I didn't know nobody
and then I saw you coming my way
Oh I didn't know nobody
and then I saw you coming my way

Don't you need to be back
in the arms of a good friend?
Oh 'cause honey believe me
I'd sure love to call you
my girlfriend
[solo]

Don't you need to be back
in the arms of a good friend?
Oh 'cause honey believe me
I'd sure love to call you
my girlfriend

'Cause you
got a good thing going baby
You only need somebody to love
Oh you got a good thing going
You're only looking
for someone to love
'Cause you need to get back
in the arms of a good friend

And I'm never gonna set you free
No I'm never gonna set you free



---

its 3 in teh morning
cant get you off my mind
theres a strange satisfaction
when you cross it

blinded by you
and its something you do
that makes me fall..

i get weak in teh knees
i cant hardly speak
the look in your eyes
sends chills down my spine
and the warmth in the air
it shows that you care
and i thank my lucky stars

that you, are my eveything
youll always be my everything
deep inside my heart
youll always be with me
when we are appart
and my heart ois yours
forever and more
i will give you all you want
i love you, i love you
tell me you love me too

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 14 July :: 2.57 pm

if you wanna leave
i won't beg you to stay
and if you gotta go darling
maybe it's better that way
i'm gonna be strong
i'm gonna do fine
don't worry about this heart of mine
just walk out that door
yea see if i care
go on and go now but
don't turn around
cause you're gonna see my heart breaking
don't turn around
i don't want you seeing me cry
just walk away
it's tearing me apart
that you're leaving
i'm letting you go
but i won't let you know
i won't miss your arms around me
holding me tight
if you ever think about me
just know that i'll be alright
i'm gonna be strong
i'm gonna do fine
don't worry about this heart of mine
i know i'll survive
sure i'll make it through
and i'll even learn to live without you
don't turn around
cause you're gonna see my heart breaking
don't turn around
i don't want you seeing me cry
just walk away
it's tearing me apart
that you're leaving
i'm letting you go
but i won't let you know
i wish i could scream out loud
that i love you
i wish i could say to you
don't go
as he walks away he feels the pain getting strong
people in your life they don't know what's going on
too proud to turn around he's gone
don't turn around
cause you're gonna see my heart breaking
don't turn around
i don't want you seeing me cry
just walk away
it's tearing me apart
that you're leaving
i'm letting you go
but i won't let you know



---


im starring in your eyes
and you look into mine
and i fall deeper for you

i am blind
by the light shining in your eyes
its shining down for me

(chorus)
when you hold me
everything just fades away
i am held by you
and everything just goes my way
i wanna say so many things to you
i wanna tell you that i dont love you
i wanna tell you i wont stand for this no more
but when you look at me
the words just wont speak

i stare at you
and you are looking at me too
we catch a glimpse of eachothers stare
were playing mind games in the sun
and i just wonder whats begun

intoxication melts me into you
ive fallen under i dont know what to do
you make me think things i dont want to

(chorus)
when you hold me
everything just fades away
i am held by you
and everything just goes my way
i wanna say so many things to you
i wanna tell you that i dont love you
i wanna tell you i wont stand for this no more
but when you look at me
the words just wont speak

if you love me
why dont you stay here
if you love me
then why is she here

i dont know what it is you think im gonna do
wont wait here forever for you?
i just wanna know
what the hell you expect from me

someone whose gonna be
right there for you
on every call
just something to be there for you
i wont be the one you fall back to

(bridge)
you say u love me
and youll never let me go
you tell me taht you need me
im everything you know
if you love me why dont you just show me
and be with me

(chorus)

cause i care for you
you can cry to me
ill be there listening to every beat
and i will catch your broken heart
when shes torn it appart

(chorus)

how can you love her when you share all your dreams with me
how can you tell her that you love her
when i know everything about you
i love you.. i love you..i love you
but your gonna have to choose


----

im hanging on your words
every warm summer night
im lookign in your eyes
and this feelings more than right

i used to have
such immature emotions for you
but now their acting up again
and i know its true

im hanging on your kiss everynight
im hanging on your words
just to feel alright
they say "go ahead"
and "i could have you if i want"
but i dont think you really like me
you just like to taunt

do you really like those ugly girls your hanging with
is just just for the sex?
or the hell of it
and whose that girl your giving all your love to
bet it isnt true...

im hanging on your kiss every night
losing sight falling into your eyes
this heat it overwhelms me
and im falling int you
against everything that i wnat
and every moral ive been taught
but for you i feel i can bend the rules

summer lovin'
ends all too quickly
will we have to end when summer comes to close
will i always hold you in my heart?
will you feel the way that i feel?
or is it just a game to take my heart
i just want you to know you had it already..

2 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 13 July :: 3.11 pm

me and katie are making a sex mix of all sexual songs.. comment if you have one we forgot lol

and if you want a copy its $1 lol

1. turn me on - kevin little
2. splash waterfalls - ludacris
3. Fantasy - ludacris
4. i can tell - 504 boys
5. ohh na na na na - lil jon n the east side boys
6. dirty little girl - twiztid
7. old school pervert - icp
8. tease - b2k
9. Slow motion - guvenile
10. freak me - silk
11. spin the bottle--twiztid ft icp
12. nothing in this world - avant
13. ill make love u to - boyz 2men
14. red light special - boyz2men
15. on top of me - tyrese
16. carress me down - sublime
17. sex - ginuwine
18. in those jeans - ginuwine
19. majik stick--lil kim ft 50 cent
20. peaches and cream - 112
21. sit on acid - lords of acid
22. we can do it anywhere - 112
23. how many licks - lil kim ft. 112
24. i wanna be bad - willa ford
25. push it - salt n peppa
26. freak a leek - petey pablo
27. doin it - ll cool j
28. Closer- Nine Inch Nails
29. Anytime, Anyplace - Janet Jackson
30. Sway - Bic Runga - good emotional sex song
31. rough sex - lords of acid
32. Pony - ginuwine
33. slow - kylie minogue
34. I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd
35. sex and candy - marcy's playground

:-)

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 13 July :: 2.35 am
:: Music: thats me x dark lotus

what a dilema...
i decided im gonna make a new sn but i made up so many and i cant choose one im gonna list all of em in here and you ppl really need to comment and choose which one you guys like better

and if you think of one put it up here too haha

ToxicRain35x
TwiztidPleasure35x
EmptyEyez35x
LyingEyez35x
BlckTangldHrt35x

HollowImitationz35
HeyJealousy35x
NbdysHero35x
TrueIllusions35x
MelancholyTearz35x
GoodMourning35x
MidnightMelancholy
BlackMajik35x
AutumToAshes35x
OpaqueDreamz35x
SpellBound35x
Wallflower35x
ImminentGlow35x
Aphrodisiac35x
Cancerous35x

LostInfatuation35x
CrypticSins35x
BrokenEchos35x
ShatteredTearz35x
Dissonance35x
ForgedEuphoria35x
HalfBaked35x

Emotionless35x
LastDeciet35x
CrypticReality35x
RealisticFacism35x

well that was a hell of a lot haha i hope to pick one soon :-)


shit i thought of 31 sns

bold = favored sns

3 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 11 July :: 1.15 pm

please love me or i'll be gone
im standing here
shaking in the doorway
im standing here
bareing all i have to hide
walking in behind me
theres a shadow hanging over me
and i feel it...feel it

watch me as i pack my bags
i wanna just get up and leave
watch me as i say goodbye
down on my knees
stay with me forever
beating in my heart
underneath this starlit sky
were never appart

im crying here
using sleeves as tissues
im crying here
no longer will your phoney lines ring true to me
im walking away from here
theres a shadow hanging over me
and i feel it... feel it..

watch me as i pack my bags
i wanna just get up and leave
watch me as i say goodbye
down on my knees
stay with me forever
beating in my heart
underneath this starlit sky
were never appart

lost in trasnlation to you
lost in every broken heart you never knew
dying in anothers arms tonight
crying for another soul tonight
and ill wonder how youll be when were appart
wonder if youll have a lonely broken heart

watch me as i pack my bags
i wanna just get up and leave
watch me as i say goodbye
down on my knees
stay with me forever
beating in my heart
underneath this starlit sky
were never appart

im lost in here
dont know where to go right now
im lost in here
my eyes are blindfolded
walking in behind me
theres a shadow hanging over me
and i feel it...
do you feel it like i do..

- me

we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
i'll never let go.
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things anyworse.
[x2]

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

---

I'm lying alone
With my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you're hurt too
But what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry
your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe
What tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know


i did it

i successfully hurt another person who only wanted the best for me..only wanted to see me smile.. someone who called me beautiful in sweatpants and no makeup.. straight out of bed...someone who just called to say hi and talk about nothing for hours and hours.. someone who i could talk to about anything and hed be there to comfort me.. someone who could make me smile.. and also get me angry.. someone who waited for me.. someone who lived for me... and i ruined it

i lost it again.. and am a hypocrite of my own gospel...

i preach every day about how ppl who hurt me and i hate them.. and then i go about my day just trying to make everyone feel the happiness i long for.. and all i can do is make someone else feel liek shit.. the person who makes me feel like im perfect.. i make them want to die do you know what its like to have someone tell you that you make them want to die.. keep in mind youw ere trying to make this person happy.. and i failed cuz thats what im good at.. fucking failing...

Haiz n Daiz: i wont stop loveing you. you saved me form who i was, you were my reason. and for that i owe you everything i have.. im sorry i bothered you today.

Vanished 1 2 2 0: im always like that...i find something amazing that i know i need and i know is perfect for me.. but im afraid to take the risk.. im afraid to get hurt.. im afraid of you leaving me.. im afraid of getting too attactched that i cant be ok on my own.. im afraid of commitment.. even though i want it so badly.. becuz with a promise like that theres more ways for me to screw up.. and thats what im good at.. screwing up.. and making the people who i devoted my time to trying to make smile i just make then hurt

Haiz n Daiz: what did you want me to do amanda? you were hurting me, maybe you couldnt see it but everyone else did... i wasnt going to wait around for something if it wasnt going to happen just to get hurt even more
Haiz n Daiz: i still love you even if you like it or not
Haiz n Daiz: and i care
Haiz n Daiz: i think about you all the time
Haiz n Daiz: i just didnt see why youd do what you did
Haiz n Daiz: so i left
Haiz n Daiz: out of everyone i knew
Haiz n Daiz: i trusted you the most with my emotions
Haiz n Daiz: it hurt me to know you didnt know what you wanted
Haiz n Daiz: after all thw times you said you wanted to be with me
Haiz n Daiz: its like you changed your mind
Haiz n Daiz: and i felt like shit
Haiz n Daiz: the only thing i could think of was to leave and let you find out what you wantr
Haiz n Daiz: i never ment to hurt you

---

i hate myself.. and everything ive done...
im sorry i failed you sean
im sorry i hurt you
im sorry i fucked up
im sorry i ever messed up your life
im sorry...

3 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 11 July :: 12.14 am
:: Music: at seventeen x janis ian

i learned the truth at 15...
my favorite song ever!

i went to see the notebook again today cuz kelsey and katie never saw it ./. lizzy left yesterday for maine for 2 WHOLE WEEKS how will i ever survive without her :(
im home now so im tired ill write more later


I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired.
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
and murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen.
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
said, Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve.
The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly.
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity.
Their small town eyes will gape at you
in dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen.
To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
and murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen.

note to self: write andre a letter

andre kolarevic
21 ricecorner road
brookfeild ma 01506

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 9 July :: 2.02 pm

the pristine smoke twirls around you
in this foggy stifled room
we glance at eachother quickly
not long enough to contemplate
what the night would hold
curiously we smile, and toss hellos from side to side
playing with our young emotions
toying with this premature lust
our lips they slowly tingle
as they touch for the first time
separated only seconds
and already yurning for more
temptation pulls this curiously further
touching skin of milky white
slowly melting into eveything i am
not an ounce of fear in my body
just the need to know your face
i want to learn your heavenly body
and begin to touch through taste
the smoke as grown much thicker now
and teh dark penetrates all that is light
leaving only you and i here
to explore uncharted territory
to kiss from dusk til dawn
and if i leave not knowing you
and each inch of milk white skin
i leave without a piece of me
it is to you that i am drawn
not an ounce of fear in my body
just the need to know your face
i want to learn your heavenly body
and begin to touch through taste

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 8 July :: 1.52 am

some good music


Our Lady Peace
Superman's Dead


Do you worry that you're not liked
How long till you break
You're happy cause you smile
But how much can you fake
An ordinary boy an ordinary name
But ordinary's just not good enough today

Chorus:
Alone I'm thinking
Why is superman dead
Is it in my head
We'll just laugh instead
You worry about the weather and
Whether or not you should hate

Are you worried about your faith
Kneel down and obey
You're happy you're in love
You need someone to hate
An ordinary girl an ordinary waist
But ordinary's just not good enough today

Chorus:
Alone I'm thinking
Why is superman dead
Is it in my head
We'll just laugh instead
You worry about the weather and
Whether or not you should hate

Doesn't anybody ever know that the world's a subway...



-----

Silverchair
Black Tangled Heart

Maybe your luck has changed
Settle down
Maybe I'm just deranged
And on the rebound
Maybe love was the thing
Holding me back from all
Maybe I'm just the thing
To break my own fall
Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

Maybe departure's good
Makes room for more
Start to mass produce
For a chance to ignore
Maybe you'll kill yourself
Before I get a turn
Maybe I'll fall in love
And never learn

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall


-------

Liberate the people that you hate
Then cut yourself again
Elevate then drop back down
And see which ones remain
Remember all that she can say
Is that she knows she wants it
You'll make it through
With another point of view again
You'll make it through
With another point

Accusation, does yes mean no?
Or have you changed your mind?
Kill the nation before it grows
And be one of a kind
Remember all that she can say
Is that she knows she wants it

You'll make it through
With another point of view again
You'll make it through
With another point

Pretend the world's an ocean
Oh, I'm drowning
Pretend that I'm pollution
Oh, I'm dying
Pretend the steak's a cowboy
And the kiss will kill you

You'll make it through
With another point of view again
You'll make it through
With another point


-----

Silverchair
Stoned

Sitting in my bedroom baby,
You know I'm spinning.
Haven't got much headroom,
But I'm only living.

When I'm like this,
I can only just sit,
Why did you get me into this shit,
Help me get out of it now.
I don't know what you will allow.

You've got me stoned,
Sitting in my bedroom spinning.
Stoned, yeah.

When is this feeling gonna wear away,
I know the Devil's looking up at me,
I hope this feeling's not gonna stay, never.

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 7 July :: 12.15 am

i see your face and it sends shivers down my spine..
going crazy with these thoughts of you
barely know you and i want to be with you everyday..
looked into those baby blues
and you got me hooked on you..
standing underneath the starlit sky
watching flashes in eachothers eyes.
wishing for dream like love for me...
wonder who my love could be..
i watch you as your walking by
im starring and you wonder why..
you catch a glimpse of my bruning desire...
you bring the weed and start the fire..
inhale the happy thoughts into your lungs...
soon we'll be the only ones.
i dont know much about you..
dont know if what you say is true...
you tell me how it used to be,
and how you sometimes wish you were free..
i nod and smile and pray its real..
listen intently and say i know how you feel..
you turn to look at the glow in the sky...
i watch the burning embers float by...
and you look into my deep brown eyes..
and kiss me under the calydescope sky..
the pain slowly drifts away
and something in me wants you to stay..
dont know what it is youve done...
but something new has just begun..
i wish that you could understand...
the power in one touch of your hand..
after tonight you wont know my name or face..
but ill dream of you with me.. somehow someplace...

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 6 July :: 1.37 am
:: Music: no woman no cry x fugees


Last night I was taking a walk along the river
And I saw him together with a young girl
And the look that he gave her made me shiver
'Cause he always used to look at me that way
Then I thought maybe I should walk right up to her and say
Ah-ha-ha, it's a game he likes to play

Look into his angeleyes
One look and you're hypnotized
He'll take your heart and you must pay the price
Look into his angeleyes
You'll think you're in paradise
And one day you'll find out he wears a disguise
Don't look too deep into those angeleyes
Oh no no no no

Sometimes when I'm lonely I sit and think about him
And it hurts to remember all the good times
When I thought I could never live without him
And I wonder does it have to be the same
Every time when I see him, will it bring back all the pain?
Ah-ha-ha, how can I forget that name?


---------------

well today meggy and i went driving with ryan maclean!!! i missed him so much! his car is so nice i love it.. it a black camero and i love it lol

well im getting kinda tired so im not gonna write much

check in later mwah

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 5 July :: 12.43 pm
:: Music: the rain

happy late 4th of july lol

so last night were the fireworks!!!

it was awesome me n lizzy and meg hung out with gabe and derek and everyone it was fun i got to see beth and ailie who i hadnt seen for sooooooooooooooooo long the fireworks were so0o0o0o pretty! and i got to see ghozt lol and i met some pretty cool ppl too lol

i wish they werent over and the fireworks were back again today cuz it was so much fun.. and i think im falling...

nevermind that

ill write more later..

<3 Manda

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 4 July :: 3.47 am

i am a fucking insomniac
well.. its like 3:40 and im still up and not even tired. dammit i stay up this late like everynight... somethings wrong with me!!!

well i went to see the movie the notebook with lizzy and meg.. omg it was the best movie in teh whole entire world.. so insanely sad tho.. i cried the whole time seriously.. my eyes were all red and puffy after.. :( its one of those movies that just makes you think about your life and all o fthe choices youve made and how you never want to ever lose anyone.. and how bad i want to fall in love...but i dont wanna rush into things.. i am only 15...

well ryan gosling was in it he is my favorite actor in the whole entire world and i loved him in the notebook...

but holu crap if you go and see it bring tissues cuz ur gonna need em :-\

well its the 4th of july today

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

im going to the fireworks with meg and lizzy and kelsey and jessie i believe it shold be fun :-)

ill write more later

mwahhh

<3 manda

2 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 2 July :: 2.16 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: fairy tales x jojo

go me :-)

i just got photoshop :-)
thank you gabe

haha im having so much fun with it i made my background and my icon im obsessed with it :-) haha ask me if youw ant me to make you something cuz i will im having fun with it haha im such a geek

well im gonna go work out and then get ready to meet up with my lizzzy and kelsey

mwahhhhhhhhhhhh

<3 Manda

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 30 June :: 1.17 pm

i stare into your empty eyes
reflecting only me
i watch as they glide across my skin
and onto my glistening chest
peach skin melting into every one of your desires
every one of my emotions boil over
into this lust in the air
consuming all of me
breath it in and hold me
touch me, kiss me
kill me sweetly with your stare
those eyes that peirce my skin
looking beyond my clothing
sinking far beyond the boundries of cotton
of lace
of sheets
shoot me with your venom
consume me with a kiss
and carress my smooth creamy skin
with one touch
your kiss it drives me crazy
and we melt between the sheets
reliving every reoccuring night
mirroring every emotion spilt onto paper
caught in a moment in time
in a picture
in a memory
of only me
reflecting in your eyes


i really question if i should like a guy ever again.. its really a lost cause why dont we just skip past all the lies and get right to my heart breaking dammit. eveyrtime someonem is happy its just ripped away from them its not fair.. i mean i hate to be hurt but i hate seeing ppl i care about hurt more...

becuase i want so much to help them and i want so much just to make everything go away but theres nothing i can do or say that would ever make it right. i just wish that guys could see things from our point of view.. see what its like to get used, to get hurt, to get your heart broken.. it feels like shit and maybe if it happened tothem theyd understand... erg

i just pray that someday these little boys grow up.. and finally understand how to treat a girl, how to love, and how to handle a relationship.. i wonder if they ever will and if we will always be submissive to them and their wants.. and if we will ever stand up for ourselves.. i dont get it.. just quit hurting my friends... just grow up...

grrr

AbandonedApril35: i ahd the weirdesy dream
x we4k inside: about wat
AbandonedApril35: i had this dream that we were downtown except our downtown was much bigger and had a big waterfall and a bridge n stuff and we were walking around it and my dad bought us a handle of vodka so we were gonna drink it but didnt yet so we were walking around and then we decided we needed someplace to stay so we walked into hollys house and slept on her kitchen table lol and she woke up and saw us there and was like um what are you doing.. and then we left and ppl were looking for us becuz we had vodka and the cops were after us or something so we hid it somewhere and then i got separated from you guys and you were all ahead and in some big dome or like town hall thing and i somehow got the vodka back and climbed out hollys window and got to the townhall thing where u guys were and then i dont remember what happened

2 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 27 June :: 6.40 pm
:: Music: weak x jojo

Weak

VERSE 1:
I don't know what it is that you've done to me
But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing
It's a feeling that I want to stay
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you

CHORUS:
I get so weak in the knees
I can hardly speak, I lose all control
Then somethin' takes over me
In a daze, your love's so amazing
It's not a phase
I want you to stay with me, by my side
I swallow my pride
Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak

VERSE 2:
Time after time after time I've tried to fight it
But your love is strong, it keeps on holdin' on
Resistance is down when you're around, pride's fading
In my condition I don't want to be alone
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
I've tried hard to fight it
No way can I deny it
Your love's so sweet
It knocks me off my feet

CHORUS

BRIDGE 2:
I get so weak
Blood starts racing through my veins
I get so weak
Boy it's somethin' I can't explain
I get so weak
Somethin' 'bout the way you do the things you're do-oo-oo-in'
Knocks me right off of my feet (off my feet)
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak (I get so)

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 26 June :: 1.46 am

michaud815: HI
Vanished 1 2 2 0: your so cool
Vanished 1 2 2 0: :-)
michaud815: thats right
michaud815: and what!
Vanished 1 2 2 0: you know, i wish i could be as cool as you.. :-\
michaud815: THATS RIGHT

xX.Inspiration.Xx


:: 2004 25 June :: 12.26 am

Where is love?
Does it fall from skies above?
Is it underneat the willow tree
That I've been dream of?
Where is she?
Who I close my eyes to see?
Will I ever know the sweet "hello"
That's only meant for me?
Who can say where she may hide?
Must I travel far and wide?
'Til I am bedside the someone who
I can mean somethin to ...
Where...?
Where is love?

Who can say where...she may hide?
Must I travel...far and wide?
'Til I am beside...the someone who
I can mean...something to...
Where?
Where is love?




stop
quit telling me your loving me
wont be that girl your cheatin with
i wont be dealing with your games
tellin me your loving me
babe thats your claim to fame
u tell every girl that theyre eyes are shinier than most
but all youre thinking is whats underneath my clothes

(chorus)
baby quit telling me..
your just gonna break my heart
baby just leave her
if your so happy appart
and i will be so pleased with you
if youd get up and walk out
my heart is filled with hope underlined with doubt..
we shoulda been..

ohh hearts breakin and its hurting
you sliced deeper that time
wont be a sucker for candy
or your stupid rhymes
what she wont take you back?
what shes calling you wack?
take all that is coming cuz its your fault
and im not here no more

(chorus)

i think i found it
i think i hit the spot this time
your a face for sour eyes and your doing me in
i wanted to hold you all night
but boy that wouldnt be right
cuz youve been hitting on some other beauties booty
i wont be fallin for you

(chorus)

why couldnt you just see
that the girl you needed was me
a kiss to know its true
all it took was a kiss to know its you
and im finally free
from that spell you cast on me
im giving you away
and i pray my strength will stay

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

Woohu.com | Random Journal