aerii
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2007 12 February :: 3.43am
:: Mood: anxious
today feels so messed up.
i keep thinking that today is wednesday but its not, lsdkjflskdjfs.
and im all anxious to talk to my english teacher
im all anxious to drop my classes
i feel like im screwing everything up slkdfjs lkblehhh
idk lsdjfsldkfj
and i couldnt sleep
today is going to be a bad day.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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2007 10 February :: 8.20am
:: Mood: disappointed
i
really
wanted
to
go
see
the thermals
with
loren
but no
i had to go and screw things up.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 8 February :: 6.44pm
:: Mood: scared
just tie the rope
and kick the chair
just leave me hanging there, gasping for air
yeah dont mind me three feet from the ceiling
You wanna play?
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xk7x
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2007 8 February :: 5.16pm
heh i feel better now. i watched some tv and cried some more so im fine for a while.
You wanna play?
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xk7x
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2007 8 February :: 3.14pm
i take things way over the top. and right now im doing that. it sux. its been like 5 days since ive been feeling this way. but it seems like my life is falling apart for some stupid reason. the ppl who i thought were my friends dont seem as good friends. and i dont know why. i know im just over reacting right now but i cant help it. i always do the wrong thing then regret it. i swear ill never get what i want. i think this might be apart of why i am depressed. its because i take things too far. i always have. it also seems that i cant have a life unless its perfect. which sux for me because then ill have no life at all. man i hope i dont get to be the way i used to be. it was horrible. fuck you death and your stupid reacurrance in my mind. sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i was gone out of this stupid world. and i have come to realize that only a few ppl would care. like sure ppl might be sad but i wasnt a big part in their lives so it wouldnt matter. i know devon would care alot. robert would too. hes almost always been there for me. hmmmmmmmmmmm thats all. maybe mandie but she hasnt known me for so long so who am i to know. i doubt my family would care. i always just seem to get in their ways anyways............
-im lost with and without you.
-you make me feel great and like shit.
-you make me want you and make me want to stay away from you.
-i want to love life and hate life because of you.
-i want to tell you how i feel and yet i dont.
-you would care but i really dont think you would.
You wanna play?
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xk7x
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2007 8 February :: 2.48pm
here i am again where i started. and it sux. i though i had made up my mind but clearly i havent. and er i dont know what to do. this time though i think im not going to really tell anyone. so i dont have to ruin anything between other ppl. cuz then i would feel so selfish. i mean come on katie dont be a dumb fool and just let others be happy besdies yourself for once. errrrrrrrrrrrg.
You wanna play?
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poisonedheart
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2007 6 February :: 7.38pm
Oh how I wish I could disappear
You wanna play?
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xk7x
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2007 6 February :: 5.38pm
woooo i found this bitch thanks to nic. hahah but i cant write my secret feelings in it cuz ppl know about it. but yeah today sucked like soo bad. i feel so depressed and i dont know why. but whatever ill deal with myself obsorbed self someday. but im going to see the blue man group with natasha should kick some asss. yeah errrg i hate the way i feel and no one will ever know. this time im keeping it inside of me because when i say things other things get ruined and for certain ppl they seem to be so called catching fire and spreading like wild ahhshahah i can compare things... i guesss. but not really
i should just go jumg off that bridge now because its always been there for me and i want to leave myself there forever so to speak. ha emo i know but you dont care. i mean i really do have memories with that brige if that makes sense to anyone but i dont care. i mean i went there to just cry so many times man and when i wanted to commit suicide there that sucked but yeah and i walked across that thing so darn much to just be in those woods and when i used to walk to toris house and ahahah just standing there and watching the stupid cars go by as i screamed at them. good times good times.
1 were foolish.. |
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aerii
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::
2007 2 February :: 10.59pm
:: Mood: crushed
i feel so alone
and i dont fit in anywhere.
sldkfjsldkfjsdlkfjsdlkf
can i disappear now?
please...
i hate this.
1 were foolish.. |
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 2 February :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: Crystal Ball - Keane
kasdjflskdjf
so basically
i forgot what i wanted to say.
but i feel good.
life is good.
and you should feel good too.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 2 February :: 5.24am
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: longest winter - pedro the lion
my daddies birthday is tomorrow.
im so sick of being grounded.
i just want to leave this place.
uslkdjfsklsskjfjfjfksloooplsdj
anyway, im glad its friday. i'm really starting to not like school. a lot. i just want to give up. thats bad. hmm. and i hate riding the bus yuk yuk yuk.
so basically i dont know whats going on with me anymore.
i feel like i dont know myself and i feel lost.
but i feel content too.
my stomach is twisting around and driving me crazy.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 1 February :: 7.30pm
:: Music: you will never take me alive - the paper chase
today was... different
and i don't really know how i feel about it.
so many things came at me.
i feel happy
i feel.... new
im wearing a big grin.
1 were foolish.. |
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 30 January :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: how can i tell you - cat power
i feel like no one cares what i say or what i do
or who i am
i feel forgotten
and hated.
i feel judged and i feel like they're all mad at me.
i feel immature and gross.
i feel like a fake.
and i dont want to anymore.
i want to be me
i want to be real.
help.
1 were foolish.. |
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 30 January :: 5.01pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: we got to get away - caesars
learn to take a joke.
and stop assuming things about me.
im pretty fucking complicated
and its hard to read me
so dont just go around preaching how i feel
when you dont even fucking know.
but im super excited for thrusday
AHAHAHAHlkdfjslkdfjlskdfjlskd
butterflies
major.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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::
2007 29 January :: 5.26am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: the killers
if the answer is no, can i change your mind?
p.s.
Samantha had her freaking baby!
ahahahaha
ima go see it today!
yay!
You wanna play?
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