today was fun at school and i came home and i was in a good mood and now even better bc meana called me and it ment alot bc she has faith in me!! and she believes in me and MEANA I LOVE YOU MWA haha umm well im going to go.. bc nothing happened today except i listened to brianne and amber yell all day and say stuff about eachother and i was like yeah... i dont care but i think its dumb that u guys are fighting!! okkk bye bye haha

TO MY FRIENDS
DONT READ THIS IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME, MY FRIENDS OR M INSIDE JOKES!! YOU BEEN WARNED -hmm well its been a fun last 2 days school i mean when i got home its been the same thing... basically get all upset over the same person for the same reson (<3) yepp... i like a kid and i never really stopped but you ned to tell me who it is bc im not sying anything else bc im all scared of letting people know and i never ment to tell him it just came out... anyway amber and brianne you two need to STOP FIGHTING especially phisically!!! i mean really im getting very angered at trying to stop it all the time! grr and hmm lets see i hate to say it but if you were someone who told me not to talk to marcus which a number of you did i am afraid i cant do that bc that is totally and compleatly wrong and my mom just brought me popcorn!! i LOVE popcorn hehe hmm... what else well natalie wants us to get a tractor and a giant fan and part the caloosehachee river, (like moses) and pretend its the red sea hehe and than make tents and dress as arabs and spend the night at the fort myers beach!! lol my mom said no :0( even though it is a bible project oh well vicky said she cant either and me and her can have a sleepover hehe umm ME AND NICOLE MADE A RAP i forgot it.. it was prett much we made up the words as we went along but its about tony tromba.. wow that kid is hott haha and donnie.. im going to kick your butt tomorrow... YOU DREW A FLOWER ON MY PURSE lol erica is going to make her call go off again and i know mrs miles is goingto take everyones phone and give us all detentions! BC SHES PISSED OFF haha.. NOT funny mrs OB called me a retard and cynthia said im obsessed w/ calories hehe i like that word but i like the word dwindle more bc it has a cool ring to it and austin when you say "say my name" just becasue i have a NEW YORK accent (bc you know i was born and raised there) DOSNT MEAN you can always come up to me and say "say my name" and sound it out for me bc i will just start to sing the destinys child song bc thats the 1st thing that comes to mind kind of like when you say Tony Tromba me and nicole say hott! lollololol and jeff.. i still dont like you bc your a stupid new jersey kid and i DONT LIKE NEW JERSEY oh yeah just so you all know

LISA'S CURRENT MEDICAL CONDITION
- well the ear person said that i have crap in my ear so he had to put a vacum in it and vacum it out and than he told me that if i still cant hear to come back
- and the knee doctor said that my knee cap shifts and he was moving it and i was just like wow thats awesome haha and sooo he put me on a 'excersise diet' and than in about 3 months i get surgery and after than i can never go to gymnastics again.... AND THAT STINKS ON AN ICE POP!!! bc i wanted to go back but nooooooo okk whatever
- im going to the dentist bc i was eating and sucking on a lemon (they are so good) and i chipped my tooth :0( it hurts like a mommy!!

okk i hope you liked my little thing have a nice day love you all BUH PIES! hehe

okk well last night i couldnt sleep.. i didnt go to bed until like 5 or 6 in the morning idk why.. so i cleaned my room in that time, took a shower and watched court tv on the Jombenet Ramsey case.. i cried bc i been keeping up with this since i was like 8 and now im older and listening to everything that happened to this 6 year old girl- it was so brutal and carefully planned and i hate it! i cried and i was mad bc i thought about stuff like death and how someone else in my life may die soon... i dont want to say who bc alot of you people know him.. im not sure on whats going on with that now but im not sure what im gonig to do after that. i taked to my mom about it and she was telling me it was all ok AND NO ITS NOT!!! you dont know how mad i got at her and how much i yelled at her i cried for about 4 1/2 hours bc my life isnt easy.. its not even close to perfect.. but you all need to understand its not the absolute worst like some of you may think it is. i have my reasons for getting up in the morning and i know my purpose in life is to try to help my friends and other people... friday that girl no names she well she goes to my school and she has NO friends she just tags along.. and i did it at one point to.. you know leave her out. and im ashamed at that i feel dirty and also only stuck up bitches should do that what happened was she showed me a note and she was depressed.. so i felt like a meanie and i told her if she ever needed to talk to call me so i gave her my number and i told her that we have to get together and she actually said thank you to me.. that really was a rewarding thing those two word mean the world just like when someone says 'i love you' those 3 words can lift your spirit but dont go out there and tell people you love them when you dont mean it bc that happened to me and when i found out that it was a lie it hurt really bad. so stick to thank you lol what else happened.. me and ashley went to the mall and saw alot of people and.. DARBIE!! yay!! i missed her and i saw her and me and ashley like screamed her name haha umm i saw cynthia, sara s. and her bf billy and his firend.. i forgot his name haha and me and ashley just were concentrating on getting charms for our bracelets haha well it was fun and tonight i want to go to bed at 6.... yeah well love you all mwaaaaa!

today kelly went home at like 6 bc we went shopping and we ate dinner... than she went home and i came home and did nothing lol well... i did i planned for tomorrow i was on the phone all night with nikki and we talked about wierd stuff

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

ok sorry i havent wrote in 2 days lets give a summary.. friday i went to school came home and stayed at cypress middle where this one girl was being a bitch and telling everyone to move and i didnt move when she told me to and i like got mad bc shes like MOVE NOW and stuff and i kinda looked at her and i kinda screamed 'GO AROUNDBC IM NOT MOVING' and she went around me there were other kids being gay and someone was saying loser and i thougt he was talking to me so i asked him if he was and he looked like alarmed like i was a teacher and hes like no of course not lol i just said ok.. and this one other girl was being annoying and trying to act liek she was 20 lol she reminds me of trista (you would only know her if you live in NY lol) ur prob. wondering why i was at a middle school.. well my dad was subbing there and i got out early so ginnys mom drove me to cypress bc she lives around there and wow that was nice of them haha after that went to the movies w/ joy lori nikki kelly and cynthia than kelly slept over. saturday we stayed home than at night went to my sister jens house and babysat... OMG that was soooooooooooooooooo funny/gross lol ok it started when we got there we just watched movies chilled stuff like that than Tyrell went to bed and we went through my 2 sisters room we found alot of things in jens room we didnt want to find leah was totally clean we found like love notes (very sweet ones) and letters from mom and dad and pics so we just looked than back to jens room.... well lol its kinda disturbing but we found alot of condoms, a dildo and a bunny which was also a dildo thats supposidly gives "orgasms" than we found porn at first i thought it was how to take care of her brest implants and kelly showed me the back of the movie case and i screamed and started to cry and laugh it was THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER!! and wow im kind of worried bc we found alot of pills... and needles... :0( im kinda scared about that and plus some not alot of wierd shirts wow.. but one thing is she told me she got $200 from her ex bf and im like..... umm i wonder how lol than i started going out with orlando <3 the hottest kid alive lol and than we watched a marathon of punk'd than we fell asleep... than jen came home and she took us home it was like at 3 in the morning she gave me and kelly $50 each so it was worth it

today well i went to school... it was ok i guess and than... well i forgot what i did bc this is the next day i will update it when i ask people what i did

okk today started out really fun.. i was cheerful and happy in the morning jordan and i got along.. we almost got into only 1 accedent with susan lol school sophomores went in at 9:28 and we had a 'breakfast' and ispent time with my friends and it was fun bc i dropped 3 classes it was really great and school was fun all together. susan tooke me home and i said about 45 hail marys and she almost hit a chain of mailboxes haha i got home and did HW and stuff and then i went to dance and i got a call... from one of my guy friends and he told me that another one of my girls overdosed on painkillers and is now in the hospital on life support. i dont know how much more of this i can take everytime i turn around something happens to one of my friends and idk ill finish this later
ok finishing haha umm well let me say that all of my friends are dear to me and i love all of you and if any of you have a problem and is even thinking about doing something harmful to yourself PLEASE PLEASE call me I DONT CARE what time it is or what day it is!! hell come to my wndow or my house and ring the dorrbell i really dont care! and i mean it! suicide is not the answer at one point i wanted to kill myself i know but i learned the hard way that, that dosnt solve ANYTHING i dont care what happened in your life there is no good reason to do it and that goes for cutting yourself also i stopped when kelly made me promise bever to do it and it was also one of my new years resolutions so i didnt do it and when mariah killed herself i realized what a mistake i did for starting ti in the first place! so all of you PLEASE dont ever do that its so much better to let it out and discuss your problems with somebody and im here if anyone needs me

i love you all!! and i PROMISE i will come through for each and everyone of you when you need me <3

THIS IS AWESOME

Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.

today was another aweosme day at school!!! idk why im having these but oh well... it statred when i brought my flat bread to religio and my group didnt go today and im not having her class 2mrw bc sophomores miss the first 3 periods! yay! but i came back in the afternoon to get my bread and ill bake it tmrw night and well lets say i let 3 ppl try it and than evryone ate some and than nikki took it home.. i thought i t was nasty but apparently everyone else didnt lolol ummm what else happened well when i got home something bad happened and it kind of hurt me also but not getting into that. now im going to bed bye bye lol

today was the best day ever!! I LOVED SCHOOL TODAY I LOVE THE COLD AND TUTORIAL WAS THE BEST... yes i have a story to tell ok in tutorial joy and ray lol ray kept coming up to joy and she got mad and screameed MRS OB RAYS HARASSING ME over and over lol and cynthia tried to hit nikki but nikki knocked over the fan andjoy squealed lol than i came home and i had a talk with my dad.. .a long talk and i think this time i got to him bc we been i guess getting along and i cried during it and well yeah than idk it went ok at the night ttul bye bye MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

gr
hey lorserness! (lisa) this is lauren n i was bored so i decided to write in lisa's journal (with lisa's permission of course) and i was just thinkin ... some PEOPLE! GOD! lol its just that some people say that their life is just too hard ... n they dont stop to look around at what they already have! like this one girl (no names althogh she knows who she is) thinks she has it so bad when she has the perfect B/f (her best friends ex-boyfriend whom her best friend still likes) and her parents love her and she had a very good friend (among many others) until she decided to treat her like shit! shes pretty and smart and has a caring family... and her life sounds so bad doesnt it?! she has no clue how bad life can really be for those who actually do have a hard time finding reasons for getting up every morning ...
on another note ... if anyone who reads this thinks its not wrong for a so-called "best friend" to go out with her "best friends" ex-boyfrind who she still likes very much... you can IM me and tell me so ... Mizprettyinpink .. you just dont do your friends wrong like that, especially when the guy is NO PRIZE! not at all nonono! >>DRAMA KING!<< lol just joshin but not so much ... anywho i was bored so i thought id rag on someones nerve! lol just joshin! again not so much lol welp i gotta go!
I L O V E J O H N N Y D E P P !
~lauren lea (andy)
LAUREN And LISA! DWEEBS FOR LIFE! i love you lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!

today was really fun for a sunday!! i was home alone all day and i got alot of stuff done!! than at night i went to laurens grandmas and we ate dinner there and me and it was sooo fun!! ok thats it bye

today.. well me and joy got up and went to the art fair and there we saw alot of gay (but hott) guys.. lol like the entertainer guy lol that was funny omg he was hott!! haha than joy left and we went to the barn and dropped her off than me and my dad had a talk i hope i got to him.. bc i swear he been pissing me off and i couldnt stand it anymore. than i came home and lauren called and asked me to go to her house and take casper out bc she was in tampa so i did and i went there and omg it was so sad casper was SO cold he was shaking so after alot of seriousness and convinsing i got my dad to take him home w/ us until they came home. i think the only reason my dad said yes was bc i told him that if we didnt take him home id stay with him until they came back and i was about to.. even though he said he was going to anyway bc it was too cold for him to stay out and it wasnt right to just leave him there.. so than he said YES yay!! okk than after i drove my mom to walgreens and to a food place and me and my mom were talking... call me crazy but i think i saw or heard a sign from god.. okk hey ya came on the radio and it brought back memories.. good memories and than i thought about how those memories came into now than ANOTHER song came on i guess i kind of had a reality check... it had to do with some guy breaking up w/ his gf and saying like i dont want you back everything that happened is the past blah blah and my emotion just changed to being hopeless and i relized that i have to give up the fight and move on bc its a waste of time to just cry over a lie that never was and never will be. i didnt really cry it was actually a thoughtful time.. than AFTER that came the mya remix the wo song and then i cried... bc that was 'mariahs song' so my mom drove home and had a talk with me.. i spilled out alot to her alot of my feelings i never did that it felt wierd but i was kind of relieved. and she statred telling me that i had low self esteem and i dont credit myself enough... i think i give myself enough credit as i deserve which is none and i also believe that it is good that my esteem is low bc well.. i dont have anything to be proud of with myself i didnt stop mariah from killing herself and i should have seen her change in character and suspected something. but anyway i have this one feelingfloating around but idk where its coming from.. i feel betrayed and backstabbed a little i have an idea where it is from but im not saying anything until im sure of it. im going to bed i really want to go to bed early bc i am not realy feeling good.

past 2 days weree SO bad but today was really good.. i mean yeah i ws sad about mariah killing herself... actually i was and am really sad and the fact it was exactly a year after brittany died in a car accedent... i was so sad and i miss them both.. jess said either me or her should commit suicide next year i dont want to bc i know what the people that love you and care about you feel and its not good at all and i dont want anyone to go through that... after yesterday i am never going to put a knife to my wrist that chnged my outlook and that is hurtful that i had to learn that like this!! ok anyway today was fun bc i went to school had a 1/2 day and wow it was just fun bc joy came over and we were hyper and went to the movies dressed as wierdos and i cant believe i went through with that but hey your only young once so take chances... why not?? at the movies we met nikki cynthia lorri and loris friend and we saw chasing liberty!!! it was fun and joy fell asleep and cynthia was throwing skittles well than we went around and came home and joy is sleeping over!!! TODAY WAS GREAT AND I LOVE JOY AND NIKKI AND CYNTHIA AND OF COURSE LAUREN!! THEY ARE SO AWESOME! JOY LOVES BEEF JERKEY even though i think it is nasty!!! lol bye bye mwaaaaaaa