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2007 23 March :: 12.19pm
I'm really tired and this chair rolls very smoothly. It's an office chair and I'm ALONE in the computer lab. It's Friday, so OF COURSE I'm alone in the computer lab. No one has FRIDAY classes except for me. Exception. Exceptional. Exceptionally tired. Gah.
I have a quiz in fourty minutes. It's extra credit. But it is of vital importance to my grade. VITAL. I haven't studied much. Rolly chair. I'm dysfunctional today. They shouldn't have let me outside. On the PROWL. Eh, cats?
You know, they outlawed the sale of "tobacco" pipes and bongs on Tuesday (well, that's when it went into affect, at least). You can't buy bongs anymore. You can't buy crack pipes anymore. At least not in Michigan. Do they think that making paraphenlia illegal is going to reduce illegal drug consumption??? I've seen a bong made out of an Aunt Annie's salad dressing bottle. No. It's not going to reduce it. GAH. If anything, it's going to make the general population more creative. Stupid.
Quiz in thirty five minutes. Who knows what neutral omniscience is off the top of their head? Ooohh, me. wait. no. never mind. but it was right next to the Oedipus Complex in the book. That's when a guy wants to get rid of his dad so he can take his place with the mom. Mother/Son sex. The Electra Complex is the feminine form of that. Good to know.
it's nice outside. a tid bit windy, but that's okay. i can see the catholic church from here. it's a small red brick building with lots of bushes. i hate those people who got to church on sundays because they feel bad about partying the night before. they ask to be forgiven for there sins. how can those people think they are better than anyone else?
Quiz in thirty minutes. better study. printer activated. vocabulary words out of a list. bowling tonight, though, and i have a faint craving for a hotdog. one of those nasty ones that you get a football games wrapped up in aluminum foil, all smushed and gooey and warm. one of those.
i'm so tired. i need to go to bed. how am i going to make it through this class? i already acted like an idiot in my last class. the prof asked why the great gatsby was a great book, and i said because people can relate to it, all people do in it are drink and party, and because of the clear modern language and descriptions riddled with metaphors and similes, it's easy to understand and relate to. in the back of my head i though "you can't argue that a book is great, there is no way to prove it" and there isn't. there is no way to prove one thing is better than another. it might be more symmetrical, more correct in language usage, it might employ dramatic irony, metaphors, similes, but to someone, a technical car manual may be the best piece of literature they ever read and for another it might be Shakespeare, or Judy Bloom, or some trashy novel they got at the grocery store for five ninety nine. You can't say that something is the greatest book, or the best, or good, or not good. you can't prove it. you can argue, but you can never prove it.
twenty five minutes.
michelle
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2007 22 March :: 11.21am
I called Rueben and he was in class. Opps. My mistake. Never mind.
Listening to bad nineties music. Makes me laugh. Blink 182. Fuel. heh.
There was a lovely thunderstorm last night at four in the morning.
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2007 19 March :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: aggravated
I just got done screaming at the top of my lungs for ten minutes, so I thought I'd share:
On CNN tonight (w/ Paula Zahn), there was a panel of professionals (lawyers and such) commenting/discussing the war.
Paula: How do you justify what we are doing in Iraq right now?
Conservative Constitutional Lawyer: Well, I can tell we're succeeding because there hasn't been a terrorist attack on United States soil since 9/11.
[michelle screams for ten minutes]
First of all, just because we haven't had an attack doesn't mean the war in Iraq is preventing that. Before 9/11, the previous attack was in 1993 (the first time the WTC was attacked). Let's do the math, shall we? Eight years. We've only been in Iraq for five years [note, this is the start of the fifth year]. Plus, did we forget that Iraq had absolutely NOTHING to do with the terrorist attack on 9/11. Did we forget that the bombers came from Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan? NOT Iraq.
Last night on CNN, Col. Alan King was asked why we shouldn't follow a strategy that outlines prompt withdrawl of troops (the plan made by the Democrats):
[Paraphrased, but close]
"We shouldn't withdraw troops because it will cause a huge outbreak of violence and gas prices would go up, and that would be a huge inconvience/hardship on our economy right now."
Jesus Christ.
Only 50% of troops believe that we will succeed in Iraq, and only 32% of the American people approve of the "war".
What happened to a government BY THE PEOPLE?
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2007 18 March :: 12.18pm
St. Patrick's Day didn't end so happily. It started great, though. I bought a blue male beta and his name is Patrick, and got other provisions from the store. My roommate and I got pizza from Hungry Howie's and watched Finding Nemo (in honor of Patrick, of course). Then Rueben started drunk calling me. We walked to McDonald's, then some guy's apartment, had a few, walked back. I stayed with Rueben until nine and I came back to my room to find my roommate had just puked all over, including my bed. All I wanted to do was sleep in my BED!
So I put on my pajamas, trekked back to Ruebens and slept until one. Came back, told her that she puked on my stuff and she apologized and left me to clean all of it except for the exceptionally big chunks on my lit book and my flute case.
If you can't hold your liquor, don't drink! It'll save me from a dorm that smells like puke and bed and books covered in brown chunks.
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2007 17 March :: 2.45pm
Just got done cleaning the dorm and my side of the bedroom. Started at ten. Ugh.
At least it's clean...three bags of trash later...
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2007 15 March :: 12.03am
So, Barack Obama. Yeah. He pretty much makes we want to cream my pants. Figuratively speaking, at least.
I just got done watching him give a speech at a fire fighter conference on C-Span. Of course, it was a lot about his campaign, and his stance on ISSUES.
Anyway, for all of you complaining that he doesn't have a stance, he does, and here are a few of them:
1. Iraq War: He is currently drawing up a plan (with other Senators) to withdraw troops from Iraq. He has never believed that war was the way to go and that the war has no military solution, and we shouldn't be in the middle of another country's civil war. His plan outlines that troop withdrawl begins May 2007, and ends ten months later on March 1, 2008.
2. Health Care: America spends more than any other country in the world on health care (about $8 billion), yet there are many families who avoid doctor visits because they cost more than they make in a week. He, along with other Democrats, really believe in Universal Health Care. I know, I know, I'm not quite sure how this would all work. But, it's worked for Canada and Great Britian, and everyone would be covered.
3. Veterans/ War Injuries: Of course issues like the Walter Reed Veteran's hospital have been really upfront lately. He is encouraging more funding for Veteran hospitals, and healthcare for veterans in general.
4. Energy: Wants to start working with car manufacturers to use technology already in place to be less dependent on oil. This way, we won't have to fight other country's civil wars to make sure they don't jack up oil prices on us. Hmmm.....
[edit] and by jack up oil prices, i'm talking about them cutting us off so that the price goes up and our economy goes into chaos, you know, the whole supply and demand thing...or blackmail..or whatever they call it nowadays.
If we don't rely on oil, we won't have that problem, that's all i'm saying.
5. Education: Stop making requirements so stupid. No Child Left Behind says that you either improve, or we take more money away from you. Hmm, wouldn't you think that if the government took away funding, the school would do WORSE? That's not what the current administration is saying. Anyway, Barack wants to increase funding for schools and dramatically alter the means by which schools get that money (i.e., oh, lets think, if a school is doing bad, how about we give them more money, so they can hire more qualified teachers, and so they can get text books that aren't from 1983). Plus, he wants to increase teacher salaries to make them comparable to other like jobs in the United States. What an idea! Actually paying those people in charge of the intelligence of our next generation! Who wudda thunk it~
Anyway, there are a couple things, and some rantings. Please feel free to comment, I know you would anyway.
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2007 14 March :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: awake
"This is not a clash of civilisations or religions, and it reaches far beyond Islam and America, on which efforts are being made to focus the conflict in order to create the delusion of a visible confrontation and a solution based upon force. There is indeed a fundamental antagonism here, but one that points past the spectre of America (which is perhaps the epicentre, but in no sense the sole embodiment, of globalisation) and the spectre of Islam (which is not the embodiment of terrorism either) to triumphant globalisation battling against itself."
-Jean Baudrillard
It's too bad he died last Tuesday.
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2007 12 March :: 9.41am
I walked outside this morning and it was grey and raining.
This is the happiest I've been in a long time.
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2007 11 March :: 2.48pm
Back at Central. I had a nervous break down during work yesterday. We had a "Ram Pride" day, and it was loud and there was horrible karoke and cheerleaders, and they made us wear orange shirts. Plus there was a ton of people, and the ones that weren't all "yay rams!!" were really pissed off.
Plus, the management was being a bitch, and then we got slammed later in the day when everyone went home.
But at least I have two months off before summer and i have to do that everyday.
Ed meeting at six. Preamble: Check. Scavenger hunt: Check. Quiz review: Check.
Michelle
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2007 7 March :: 8.25pm
Oh god. My mother.
Rueben and I are moving probably moving in together next year up at Mt. Pleasant, and for many reasons, but the main one being money. It's so much cheaper to live outside of town than in a dorm. My mother doesn't like the idea of us living together because we aren't married. She has told me flat out that it's immoral and she doesn't understand why we have to live together. She also said that she thinks if we live together now, we won't get married, or if we do, we won't value it as much.
I could not disagree more. We are from two very different generations. If she wanted me to be conservative, then she should have raised me like she was raised, being Catholic and getting yelled at all the time for doing things that weren't normal. How can she pass judgement on my life, what I want to do, when she all she does is complain about her life. She complains about my dad every time I'm home. All day. Every day. She complains about how my brother and I don't do enough around the house (and I'm not even there). She complains about work and drinks way too much when she's alone here because my dad works third shift and she works first.
My feelings have been clashing so much lately. I've been at home, work, and observing at school. I feel like I'm being drawn back and reliving the past ten years of my life. It's nice, it's comfortable, because it's what I'm use to. But then, being here for only a couple days reminds me why I was so anxious to get the hell out of here. It's things like that which made me move sixty miles away and limit contact to a few ten minute phone conversations a week. I don't miss it as much as I thought I did. It's not worth feeling "normal" to be here and having to consider any other people's judgement but my own. I know I'm young, but I know what I want in life. I know the difference between right and wrong, and I know how to treat others with respect. I don't need other people telling me how to live my life, especially when they don't know what kind of situation I might be in.
Rant is done.
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2007 4 March :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: blah
I went and saw Beauty and the Beast last night at the high school. It was really great except for the little kid who would not shut up. We know that it looks like a lion, and no, after the twentieth time, we don't think your kid is as cute and precocious as you think he is.
I'm observing at the middle school tomorrow and the high school on Tuesday. I also work both of those days. It reminds me of high school. Leaving at seven in the morning, working until ten or eleven at night, going home, doing homework, and then doing the same exact thing the next day.
yep. I really have the need to let loose sometime this week. Any takers?
I'm reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. It's really quite good, but it's a bitch to read. I have a bad habit of skim reading, but with good pieces of literature, I can't do that. I can only read three or four pages at time, and then think about them, and then read three more pages...
I think I might start making an outline of a course paper for my literary criticism class. I'm writing on "Lust" by Susan Minot, a short story. She's modern, and it's well written, but devices and forms and their relationship to themes are a bit harder to pick out in modern works. I still have to figure out why she lists all of the guys she slept with. How does that contribute to the theme? That's what I'll be mulling over during spring break.
Almost done with laundry. Prepared for tomorrow. Hopefully going to bed a ten. Listening to the Counting Crows. So nineties.
"she's looking at you? I don't think so; she's lookin' at me"
Michelle
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2007 1 March :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: chipper
Weather sucked today. They closed campus at one because of the "inclement weather." Even the weather channel was bold enough to use an adjective such as "treacherous." It was exciting.
I went to the Cabin with Steve and a few other people and ended up getting my interviews with Steve and Joel done. I only need one more for the next check point, and I'm interviewing with Amanda tomorrow afternoon.
I have mixed feelings about spring break. It's going to be great to have a break from classes and the like, but I have a lot to do. Everyday on my calender has something going on, and, I haven't even gotten my work schedule yet.
I'm observing at the middle school on Monday, and the high school on Tuesday. So I might be seeing some of you guys (Jenny!).
I talked with one of the professors for education today about getting a middle level education minor. I think I'm going to do it, but it's an add-on minor, so I'm going to be double minoring, which is fine if it'll help me get a job. It's only an extra 18 credit hours because most of the classes double count toward my education degree requirements.
It was thundering and lightening out earlier. It was really pretty. Our electricity kept flickering and my computer wasn't too happy about it, since it got restart four times before I realized what was going on.
Working on scholarship stuff is draining, but if I don't get some new scholarships for next year, I'm going to have a big problem. Rueben and I are looking at moving ten miles outside of town to a trailer park on M-20. I called last weekend and the rent is only 300.00 a month, so, between the two of us and utilities, it's like 200.00 a month per person. Much, much better than the almost 900.00 a month between housing and a meal plan here on campus. Even the apartments around are crazy, the lowest we've found is 235.00 PER person, and that's with having like eight roommates. It should all work out. There are tons of scholarships that I'm eligible for because my gpa is a 3.93 and I'm going into teaching. I just hope that my credit standing isn't going to affect me much, since they give preference to upperclassmen (but only after financial and academic merit). We'll have to see.
For now, I'm content to sit back and read the millions of pages of literature a night that I have assigned and being involved with Kappa Kappa Psi. I have to keep reminding myself that next year, and five years, is a long way away. I always have good insight and planning skills, but sometimes I get a little nutty with worrying about what's going to happen.
I'll be home tomorrow, until the eleventh, if anyone would like to hang out. Call me, or leave a comment.
Michelle
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2007 28 February :: 8.55pm
I would just like to let anyone who cares, know that I am now in a relationship...kind of. We don't act any differant than when we were just friends except we kissed. If that say you're in a relationship than the world has lost it. Anyway, I'm not sure if it's going to last. I don't think high school relationships last anyway but maybe this one will be different. Probably not. I am going to college next year and he will still be a junior in high school. That....is....interesting. Anyway, thanks. I miss you guys. Have a wonderful day/night. Hopefully we have a snow day tomorrow...fingers crossed.
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2007 27 February :: 10.38pm
Thursday March 1, 2007 is National Self-Injury Awareness Day (SIAD). If you would like to participate in promoting awareness about self-injury, simply wear orange. Wearing an orange ribbon on the left breast is the formal symbol, but any orange piece of clothing or jewelry will work, too!
Please join me in this event!
Michelle
p.s. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to comment or to contact me!
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2007 26 February :: 10.09pm
I've decided that winter isn't that bad. I like snow when I don't have to drive in it. It's not that cold if it's not windy. Big fat snowflakes falling in the light of a street lamp are eloquent. And seeing delicate snowflakes on my multicolored scarf makes me feel like I'm in a movie.
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