Banana
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2006 1 February :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: crazy
Wow, I totally skipped tennis today...I probably shouldn't have done that. Coach is going to be mad at me. Oh, well. At least he doesn't yell like Reed. Now, if I had no reason to skip softball then I would be in trouble...
~A
drops of time
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m&ms487
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2006 29 January :: 5.59pm
solo and ensemble went well
Rob and mine's duet was SO GOOD.
we got a one
and I got a one on my solo......
:)
summer got a one too. I'm very proud of her.
4 memories made |
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m&ms487
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2006 26 January :: 6.56pm
Your ignorance cramps my conversation. ~Anthony Hope
"Ya, it's the goth kids"
"no,it's more of the emo kids that do it"
"ya, fucking always want attention"
What little arrogant bitches.
drops of time
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Jacqui-Chan
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2006 25 January :: 3.56pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: nothin'
Fuckin' boys
I am in love with a boy. A boy who is no longer my boyfriend. That's right kids, JD and I are over. It sucks. Crying sucks, breaking up sucks, seeing the sympathy in everyones eyes sucks, not hugging him sucks, not kissing him sucks, not being able to touch him at all sucks. But do you know what sucks more than any of this put together? Trying to be his best friend. That's why we broke up ya' know. To get back on our feet, relationship wise, and set the ground work for it. We didn't do that at the beginning, and we think that may be why we've been fighting so much lately. So yea, not something I'd recommend. Don't try to be your ex-boyfriends best friend... at least not starting the day you break up.
Last night was terrible, trying to figure out what to do next. We kissed good-bye a hundred times. We just cried together, only wanting each other. Is this really the best way to fix things? Do you think it'll help? I don't know. I just want everything to be good. I love him so much. I don't like losing him. I told him I don't know if I want this to bring us back together. Because I don't want to chance ever feeling this way again. Lonely... being lonely is the worst feeling in the entire world. And it can't change, no matter how many of my friends tell me they're here. Because that spot can only be filled by the one I love... and he's not here. He won't be here... because it's over.
drops of time
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jacqui-chan
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2006 20 January :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: B-Ball Blitz on FOX
I had a bad day...
Can't he just care? Is it so hard for him to just hold me and make me feel better? Last night all he could really do is say "It's gonna' be okay," but today he could've helped. He could've just come over, or brought me to his house. ANYTHING! All I wanted was a hug and his love. But I got nothing. Even when we said good-bye after school he wasn't paying attention. He just kept talking to Jeremy and ignoring me. I said "I love you" and he didn't even hear me! Then I said "bye" and he still wasn't listening. I was a foot from him and talking loudly, he just didn't care. And now we can't hang out at all, just because of this stupid weather. (and his refusal to go to an f-ing basketball game.) So, when I figured out today was a no-go I asked him to hang out tomorrow. But no, of course not. He's hanging out with Caleb. And we couldn't possibly all do something together. I just love that. When the two of us hang out, Caleb's ALWAYS invited, but when those two hang out I'm shunned. It's so stupid!! I swear, all I wanted was a really big hug from him. That's all I really needed. Instead I get yelled at, argued with, and hung up on. How wonderful is that? Man, what an awesome boyfriend. I told him it'd be nice if he'd at least pretend to care once in a while... he just said he was gonna' go. I let him. I really didn't know what to say after that anyway. I didn't want to talk to him about anything anymore, becuase I was too mad. I still am, but I really do wish he'd call me back and tell me how much he cares, and how sorry he is. But he won't... cuz he's JD... and he thinks he can get away with anything. And he can... because I let him. It's my fault... it's always my fault...
2 memories made |
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Banana
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2006 20 January :: 4.00pm
:: Mood: blah
Seminar
So, today in seminar "somebody" hit me in the head with a book. I kind of started writing on here because not a lot of people I know have a woohu. I want to be able to write about people without them getting all offensive.
~A
2 memories made |
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m&ms487
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2006 20 January :: 9.23am
Last day of the semester! I'm very excited.
No more AP Biology.
Now: Bioethics
An interesting switch.
I had a lesson with linda last night. It went better than I expected. I'm doing very well on my solo now, a lot better :).
I have an english test today. Five reading assignments in two days and then a test. Odd?
I just had some bacon and mushroom pizza and a cup of mountain dew listening to banter abroad. Pep band tonight, I'm not going home after school, but rather staying after with my flute ensemble to practice and going to subway and then coming back to school for pep band. It's going to be long day. But, that pizza WAS good.
michelle
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Jacqui-Chan
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2006 19 January :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: Mercyme "Undone"
S.W.E.E.T.
Truth. It's odd, everybody seems to think something different of it. Can there really be truth with all the opinions on right and wrong? What is really true, and will we ever really know for sure? It's been so twisted and screwed up so many times that it just doesn't seem possible to find anymore. I don't know. Some people think God's word is truth. Others believe science holds the key to real truth. It's all really a matter of faith, isn't it? My faith is in God, but somehow I feel like that's not necissarily truth. Not always. Maybe truth changes as time changes. What's true today isn't necissarily going to be true next year or in 10 years or even in a week.
Kinda' interesting to think about isn't it. Truth just depends on faith, trust, and knowledge. So my truth may not be yours. Now, will SOMEBODY PLEASE tell the Supreme Court that? Or how about the President? This is some screwed up stuff man.
Anyway, I'll leave you all to ponder truthfullness, even the truth in this little entry.
Love always,
Jacqui
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jacqui-chan
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2006 17 January :: 12.07pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: news 3 at noon
This SUCKS.
So, we kinda' broke up Sunday... then we un-broke up. It was complicated. Now we've been trying to decide what to do. He won't just talk to me about it though, of course not. He just says "I don't wanna' deal with it right now". So I tell him that he's never going to want to deal with it, but he's gonna' have to. We need to talk about some stuff to decide what's best for our relationship. But no, we can't. Which just pushes me closer and closer to the end-it-now side. NOT GOOD.
Ya know what's really weird about all this though. We'll fight and be angry and talk about possibly breaking up, but we still say "I love you" when we say good-bye. It's just odd, I mean, I'll probably always love him... he is my first love... but wouldn't ya' think after talking about breaking up we'd just be too angry to say it? It's silly.
I don't know. I'm so glad we had a snow day today. I was seriously up WAY too late thinking about stuff... not just JD stuff... work stuff too. And exams... oh lord exams. Not good.
Anyway, I'll get going now. Love ya'll, Chao.
-Jacq-
2 memories made |
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Banana
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2006 17 January :: 9.35am
:: Mood: stressed
I am not very happy that we didn't have school today. I need to get my history book and my physics folder. I am so screwed. I need them to study for exams!!!
~A
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Banana
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2006 15 January :: 11.44pm
Okay, so...nothing has really been going on with my life. Work sucks as usual. My coworkers are perverts who like to look at my ass when I put dishes away. Jason hit me with a wet towel in the butt, then Eric did it. Oh, well. It doesn't really bother me. Some guys are just jerks. They are always messing around like that. I am usually pretty wet by the end of the night. They like to spray me with water too. They are always making some sort of sexual comments. I tend to iqnore them. Or try to at least. Once they stop being stupid they can be good listeners when you need someone to talk to.
2 memories made |
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Banana
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2006 13 January :: 4.23pm
:: Mood: bored
I realized that I have a really boring life and all I ever talk about is my boyfriend. Oh, well. I am pretty sure that I don't want to break up with him. I know he isn't the smoothest guy but I still like him just the same.
~Ariana
2 memories made |
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m&ms487
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2006 12 January :: 7.57pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: Syrinx by Debussy
I'm listening to syrinx by debussy, which is my solo for solo and ensemble. I think I've gotten myself in fairly deep this time, I have two weeks to learn it to a good level. That means listening to different recordings of it many times a day a practicing for god knows how long. That reminds me, I have to go to the KDL website and find the recordings of it.
Semester is almost done with. That's a good thing, I think. I'm looking forward to bioethics. Eventhough it's a college class, I'm fairly sure I'll enjoy it quite a bit more than AP bio. I'm still stuck with Dolbee for AP lit, but I guess I can suffer through for another semester.
My duet with Rob (and with Jenny's accompiment) is going along quite well for the challenging level of it. It's not too hard in sections, but all together it's quite imposing, at least for me. It has a ton of runs and whatnot.
Today was sunny and warm and I was pleased with it.
Perhaps later.
Michelle
1 memories made |
drops of time
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banana
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2006 11 January :: 3.33pm
Okay, so I have a way boring life. I have a boyfriend who I never talk to. We are both so busy. I think our relationship is pretty much going down the drain. I know I should try to make it better but we are both so gosh dang busy! I wish he weren't so nice and would just break up with me. I really thing we would be better friends. Actually if we broke up we would never talk. We barley talk now and me are going out!!! Doesn't he see that we arn't working out? I don't get it...
~Ariana
2 memories made |
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banana
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2006 8 January :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: tired
I have not written in here in forever! I really like my boyfriend and I have decided that our physical relationship does not matter. I still want to be with him even though he will not put his arm around me or kiss me. I would write this on my xanga but he reads it. He doesn't read this so im fine.
I went to Jacqui's tonight to finish our presentation...well start and finish it. I hope we still don't have to do a research paper and a presentation. The presentation is pretty much a bunch of boring information anyway.
~Ariana
2 memories made |
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