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theroofisonfire
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2004 22 July :: 10.01am
:: Mood: deeply saddened
i've really been avoiding something. and i NEED to tell you guys, but i dont know how. tonight i will but i dont think anyone is as disappointed as i am.
5 lost in the moment |
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 21 July :: 10.26pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: love makes the world go round // ashlee simpson
when you say love makes the world go round. ---> my broke heart has no f*ing use.
....today i woke up at 9ish... somehow i ended up in my mom's bed? perhaps i was sleep walking... i do not know. but anyways, i threw on some clothes & went to the mall. my mom got her haircut & while she was doing that my sister & i walked around the mall. i finally got the ashlee simpson cd. its hot shit. some songs remind me of hilary duff though. =/ n other people say it reminds them of avril. *shrug* whatever.
so when i got home... i talked to jonah over the phone... and then... got off the phone with him & fell asleep. the stupid thunder & lightning woke me up. then later... our new suburban rolled up in our driveway. damn its so hot that i just wanna hump it lol. its like... got a dvd player / tv with wireless headsets to listen to the sound. then we have XM radio, on star, we are getting limo tint 2morrow & when we get back from vacation my dad is buying 24's for it. awesomenesssss! omg it is so hot. so we took it over to my mom at work, and of course i got to drive, and like... mike came out with my mommy & him & i talked while mommy checked out the suburban. omg awesome. n then... i came home... then we ran out to get wendy's but i didn't eat. wasn't hungry. then i came home & watched simple life two. omg i love that show, holy shit. u f*ing rock, lol. u silly bitch. that's hot. XXX. omg baseball players are f*ing beautiful and like.... i want them so badly. nicole reminds me of my attitude.... not nice. o well. haha. i love paris. she is so cute. anyways i gotta get to bed, 2morrow is our first day of camp. haha! woot. only laura, chelsea & nikki aren't going =/ o well, me, michelle, n karen n angie will have fun. <3 bye bye
2 lost in the moment |
take my hand
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 21 July :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: happy/tired
Interesting day at the beach...
So Jimmy and I actually went to the beach today I didn't think it was gunna happen for some reason idk, but yeah it was nice seeing him since I haven't since the last day of school and it was also nice not having to sneak around in order to hang out like we used to.
Yeah so he came to pick me up and calls me halfway into my neighborhood to tell me that one of my neighbors up and died or something and there was like 2 ambulences in the middle of the street and he was all pissed off. For a split second when he said one of my neighbors was dead I thought he meant that there was just a dead guy in the middle of the street and he was calling me to bitch instead of calling the cops. lol c'mon it would have been a little funny. Then it got me thinking that like, what if we treated people who get hit by cars like roadkill. No one goes a picks up dead ducks off the road what if they just left a person in the middle of I-95 to just keep getting run over....I'm sorry those are sick morbid thoughts that shouldn't amuse me so much. Oh yeah and he also forgot all of his pictures from Europe to show me which was like one of the main reasons we were gunna hang out today lol.
Anyway we chilled at the beach for a while there were no waves whatsoever and the sun would only stay out for like 10 minutes at a time but it was fun watching jimmy's attempts at skimboarding especially when the water was so still. He kept falling on his ass and asking me how it looked like it looked any different each time it was pretty entertaining though. He was like yeah i'm gunna teach you now and he kept trying to get me to do it but after seeing what a dumbass he looked like I decided to pass, plus i'm sure if I fell at least one half of my bathing suit would have fallen with me and there were like 3 guys right near us watching lol. We started talking about our plan again to take a roadtrip through Europe together when we graduate it will be so great if we actually pull that off.
We were leaving when we ran into Jimmy's friend Barret and some chick I think I knew in middle school Barret wanted to try out the skim board so we hung out with them for a little bit before attempting (and yes i said attempting) to leave.
Yeah so we decided that the day world war III breaks out Jimmy and I are going to be hanging at the mall or something because us together is just the worst combination for bad luck. He goes to the beach all the time but today was the ONE day he had to lose his keys in the water. We ended up sitting in the back of his truck waiting for his dad to bring a spare for almost an hour. It was pretty funny actually.
Yup so he brought me home and got all molested by my dog lol and now I need to go eat something and take a shower so I'll write later.
~love~
2 lost in the moment |
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 21 July :: 1.07am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: she will be loved // maroon 5
100 random things that i bet you never knew about me...
1. people can explain my feelings better than i can.
2. my middle name is Kristine & i wish it had been my first name.
3. i don't mind Briana, but i love when people call me Bri.
4. shopping, cheerleading & talking to boys are my only forms of therapy.
5. i love my friends in many different ways, yet, i couldn't categorize any of them as my best friend because they are all amazing.
6. i hate people who talk a lot about shit that i technically don't care about.
7. music is my comfort and i love to write my own lyrics.
8. but i would much rather be an actress because it has been my dream since day one.
9. i think that god punished me in 5th grade with chicken pox because i believe that if i didn't have the scars now, i would be too pretty for my own good.
10. my prettiness would bring me fame and things, and i don't think god wanted to put my family in the spotlight.
11. i rarely find myself being insecure, but everyone has their insecurities.
12. i'm really not ready to announce this... but i have tried to follow the tactics of bulimia and aneroxia.
13. solemnly believe that i didn't do it because i am uncomfortable with myself... but i've done it because i get caught up in believing since i am skinny, i should be that way.
14. this summer has been the worst for me... my cat was put to sleep, my boyfriend broke up with me, my parents have been threatening to send me away, i have indulged in eating disorders, and i am going to a new school ---> hopefully to find that friend connection that i've been dying for.
15. i am sickeningly independent on the inside.
16. i don't depend on boys, because they come and go, and i believe i'm decent looking enough to have enough confidence that i can find more.
17. i'd rather hang out with a buncha guys anyday, i find it hard to make friends with girls unless its a group like nikki, chelsea, & michelle who i can just be crazy with & stick together.
18. i'm horrified of alcohol & cigarettes, and i don't wanna be peer pressured into trying pot, just because i might give in and i don't want to.
19. my mom smokes cigarettes & i want to puke everytime i think about it, but my dad does pot with his friends.
20. i'm not afraid of the future... i just don't wanna grow up, i like being 16.
21. my family prefers that i was 4 years old again, because i was much easier to deal with.
22. but my dad's anger reaches so high towards me these days that he enjoys throwing objects like forks to my tummy & remotes to my head, only to say a weak, unacceptable "i'm sorry" to me afterwards.
23. i believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason, and you should never attempt to bring your past into your future... there is no need to let history repeat itself.
24. mr. g taught me that.
25. i loved him, along with mrs. stoughton, they got me to enjoy eighth grade.
26. i'm not conceited, just very comfortable with the way i look and act... i blame jonah for that lol.
27. i get eager to say "i love you" to people.
28. so don't be scared, i just like to say it, in hopes i can hear something meaningful, in response, coming from people's mouths.
29. i've only been jealous of britney spears, & the hot people of hollywood, because i could have had that lifestyle, yet i am so in denial.
30. nobody loves me the way i want them to, but i know, that doesn't mean they don't love me at all.
31. personally, i don't think people should have regrets.
32. i dream so much, that i could stay in bed all day & think about doing so many enjoyable things, and be happy the rest of the day, because i can pretend like i did them.
33. i get cold very easily, same with being hot.
34. i can't be mean to ANYBODY, but there are people that i just don't like, yet they have no clue because i am sweet to them.
35. i don't like when someone i care about is even slightly pissed at me.
36. i get nervous, my hands shake, and i tend to throw up.
37. politics confuse me, so i tend to not listen to them, i just want to vote for president and be done with it.
38. half of the time, i forget who is running the country anyways.
39. i don't believe in a family... technically, you are forced to live with strangers from birth & you grow up and learn about them & are forced to say you love one another because you live with them and they are labelled as family.
40. but what if you were too busy being punished and hurt to get to know your dad?
41. i am ashamed of my dad because of his temper, my mom = because she smokes, my sister because she snaps back, and my brother because he is into drugs and is wigger - ish.
42. i love my dad because he has given me so much, but he's too busy to give me his time. my mom, i love her because she will do anything for me and i can spend time and talk to her. my brother, i love him because him and i can be stupid without fighting. my sister, because she n i are just wonderful together.
43. i procrastinate, and i tend to not get things done, but i always seem to come out as the over achiever... or just on top.
44. what i wouldn't do to be a top priority in someone's life.
45. i admire --> britney spears, mariah carey, whitney houston, my mom, carol, eminem, ryan, & jonah.
46. i want two kids, but i can't see myself being married.
47. i pretend to be spoiled, but i'm not.
48. always found that school was a waste of my time.
49. tend to learn more reading and doing the work at home than in school.
50. i fear nothing but death.
51. it's not that i couldn't handle IB, i just wasn't comfortable there, at atlantic.
52. i adore sleep, but i can't stand sleeping in my own bed. but i have my teddy that i ALWAYS sleep with.
53. i'd rather sleep in someone else's bed, just because it's not "mine".
54. i wish to attend UCF because of cheerleading... and psych. and hema and jonah.... etc.
55. for some reason, i'm not eager to find a guy to love me, like everyone else is in dying need to feel a guy's arms around them.
56. the best way to ruin a relationship is to rush into one and start it off.
57. i know this is none of your business, but my period is irregular because of how fast my body weight changes.
58. i love the feeling of being alone and independent.
59. i have so many hopes and dreams but none of them have ever came true...
60. deep inside, everyone is the exact same... and that's how i know i can relate to everyone.
61. i grew up wayyyy to fast because i've always hung out with older people.
62. i miss bret daniel.
63. "she will be loved" by maroon 5 is my latest favorite song.
64. i've always wanted to have sex with him, but because we broke up, i'm glad i didn't.
65. i don't know if i can wait until marriage, but i'd love to.
66. my favorite words in the world are: fruit, doushe bag, and kinky.
67. i never realize when i'm being taken advantage of.
68. this 100 thing is getting harder than i thought.
69. i've always wanted green eyes, but lately, i'm thinking twice about them.
70. i love collecting and counting change.
71. but i don't like the way change smells & how it leaves your hands smelling.
72. i never liked taking pictures until i saw the ones that brittany took of me back in December 2003.
73. i wish danielle & brittany didn't have to grow up. i'm still ready to make more franklin tapes & water balloon fights...
74. if i ever get a boyfriend, i want to go out and have fun, but be able to hang around the house during the day & watch movies and munch, plus it'd be nice if he became friends with my parents.
75. i will never forget when brett came over and watched football on t.v. with my dad a few years ago.
76. with the millions of guys that i have went out with... i've always seemed to have had... MY heart broke.
77. somehow i am still standing here today... and i'm not depressed and i don't have suicidal thoughts. i've had my heart broken... more than 11 times.
78. i love listening to other people's problems, but i feel guilty when i don't have any advice or any comments, i just like listening.
79. i miss my cat. and when my dog goes away... i'll miss her too.
80. ever since the day i was born my cat was in my life... she was 18, and had the same birthday as me.
81. ...my mom has the same birthday as me.
82. my cat was my only comfort.
83. i feel helpless for my mom... i want her to be happy & active like she used to be. work wears her out.
84. i think the weirdest things are hot.
85. i love my feet.
86. and my tummy.
87. you don't have to tell me twice... i have a big apple bottom, and if i sit on you, and you become a pancake... i'm truly sorry.
88. i don't like to read. i want to read, but unless the author puts the middle of the book in the beginning of the story... i won't enjoy it.
89. i don't think i would have a problem putting in contacts because i always touch my eyes, and i don't even blink, nor is it complicated.
90. i do love the ninety's.
91. my favorite numbers are all odd. 3, 19, 21, 69, 91.
92. i love accessories, and my favorite one would be either bracelets or purses.
93. i would die for a yorkshire terrier.
94. if someone tapped my butt repeatedly when i was a little girl... i would fall asleep.
95. there are such things as miracles.
96. i wish nobody had to die.
97. you are my support.
98. he has made me a better person, and i can't explain how much thanks i have for him and how much respect i have for him.
99. cheerleading is my anti-drug....
100. and so are you. i love you.
good night homie. xoxo <3
take my hand
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theroofisonfire
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2004 20 July :: 12.51pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: the washing machine humming
so i've ignored this journal thng for a little bit but what are you going to do? lets stop with the small talk.
the other day plans for coming back were going sooo great and i was feeling good about them too. my mom called my hosts (most of you probably know who they are) and everything was looking even better and stuff. but then theres a personal family thing that comes up with them (i really dont think i should say what) and we should get a call today from them with the news. i have faith that you'll see me in the near future. in the flesh. lets pray.
and omg Lance Armstrong! idk if you guys have been watching the tour de france but he is amazing. definitely in the top 3 athletes of all time. Sunil and i said Lance, Michael Jordan, and Pelé (the soccer player) were the top 3 (in no order) but its definitely arguable about who else can be there (Wayne Gretzky, Muhammid Ali, lets not forget Jackie Joyner-Kersee or Mia Hamm maybe even Chris Evert?)
ok so maybe thats all i REALLY REALLY hope to see you soon, i'm tired of waiting and tired of making you wait, if you're waiting at all.
i had sports team pictures i wanted to scan but the quality came out super bad.
take my hand
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 20 July :: 12.56am
:: Music: beach boys-wouldnt it be nice...dont ask
this is one of those entries you shouldnt bother with...
well...I'm kinda idk what I am I'm just updating senselessly this is really mroe a rant for livejournal but I already updated that...
I read the notebook and I have to say I was disspointed as hell. Nicholas Sparks is a terrible author and reminded me of why I lean towrds the classics and modern english writers so much...americans authors suck these days they just keep writing crap and people read it thinking it is quality and they make lots of money off of amature level work. I men seriously I could have written some of that crap. He wrote an book entirely devoted to a love story which is risky because it has to be a damn good story to keep an audience intrigued, but not only that he wrote of these two lovers compleately driven by passion who were compleately complacent. He rushed through the conflicts of their youth compleately unceremoniously. You get no true sense of how deeply in love they were and the heartbreak they went through in each other's absense becuase he just fumbled through the entire backstory giving it to you reluctantly in bits and pieces in some attampt at literary device gone compleately wrong. The whole story was cheesy and the characters unconvincing in general. Books are supposed to sweep you into a new realm of reality to the point where you can believe anything they tell you because it is just that well written.
But yeah back to the complacency thing...one of the great paradoxes of life is that the greatest love stories are those arising from intense passion, but passion...is fed by strife and tragedy. There is heat there is anger there is nothing passive about it. Yet in the book when Allie is about to leave Noah for her finace after spending like 2 days of amazing sex together he just says ok well yeah I get it see you later. Nobody passionately in love would let them go without a fight. He wrote them with outside conflict keeping them apart which is good but there was no conflict within their relationship no heat nothing to fuel the passion he was insinuating. I don't think I am explaining this properly and maybe it was just me but...idk the movie was better and it's sad when the movie is better than the book it originiated from.
I never thought I could make it as a writer because I have yet to achieve that depth and richness in dialogue and character and plot development. It is always too simplistic and predictable and the only aspect of my writing with any possible merit is in descriptiona nd word usage. But apparantly that is enough these days so maybe I have hope yet.
I was so meaning to write about my weekend but bitching about retarded things comes so much more naturally to me
oh well...I'm a loser it's ok
~love~
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 19 July :: 10.56pm
:: Mood: anxious
now accepting applications.... will u be mine? make sure to sign the bottom line... promising not to break my heart. =)
anyways... here's the rest of my night.
----> brittany got the pictures back, some r good, some aren't.... i get to take the good ones to chicago. and... yeah, i'mma model baby! lol. neways...
----> i came home n ate dinner. got a call from danielle g that said, she was at don carters. so i called brittany n said to come pick me up cause her n i were gonna go see danielle there before she left for tampa in the morning. well, when we got there, she left with her boyfriend. so brittany & i ran in to use the bathroom... as we walked in the door, i saw shane & jimmy HEHEHE boy do i miss those ib guys lol. anyways... we were passing the pool tables, and we hear, "HEYYYY!" which were the voices of jonah & mike. ahhH! *jumps up n down." i wish we coulda stayed longer... but brittany was pissed about danielle leaving us =/ so we left. yeahhh.... ran back to my house talked to danielle over the phone & straightened things out. ran to the farm store in my pjs n got coke = c2. just to see if there was a difference. now we are sitting here.... i'm talking to jonah, danielle g, jackie, & mike.... while brittany is on her phone talking to marcin..... oooo la la hehe. i want loveeeee. i wannnna boyyyy. as carmen would say. <3 anyways i'm out... this keyboard sux. byes xoxo
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 19 July :: 4.42pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: watching Oprah =)
"y do black ppl have nice cars, but ugly houses? ....b/c they can't steal a house."
yesterday ---> ran around to find stuff for her set & then she took purty pictures. when we get them developed, i'll post 'em. =)
today ---> practice @ 8am. it was christmas... getting our new clothes & shoes, for camp. Principal Rosenweig came to talk ta us... WE GET TO WEAR OUR UNIFORMS ON THE FIRST DAY! thanks to Brittany's convincing email to her. we're gonna be best dressed, by our (me, michelle, karen, & nikki's) logic. ---> "everyone wears their top outfit the first day, n their second best the 2nd day, while we wear our cute uniforms the first day, & our 1st best outfit on the second day =)" me, shay, chelsea, nikki & brittany... & i think stephy have potentional for captain... at least that's what we read through Coach Dares... being indirect =D i scored major brownie points = being a cubs fan haha. ---> as far as stunting goes... all i pulled today was a full cause... the girls i had as bases were sooooo tall n it scared me to pull the scale =/ so angie is flying for that group now. n i'm back at square one. =/
after practice ---> went to PVHS. omg the inside is BEAUTIFUL... like the room is spacious, not like the IB office or the main office where everything is jammed together. but the school is stunning. n i found out Chelsea Ellinger is coming to PVHS. not good. o well.
umm... i showered & me & mommy went to the mall. i bought 2 shirts from A&F. absolutely adorable. =) plus i got my retainer for my belly button... so when camp comes around, my hole doesn't close up. o, we got my sister a bathing suit from Limited Too. its really cute... i need to try it on, cause my mom was like, "it looks like it will fit u."
now, i'm home... waiting the arrival of the ashlee simpson cd that comes out tomorrow. maybe brittany & i will go out & grab it =) anyways, i've gotta get off the phone with grammy & trixie & call Jackie soon. g2g bye bye xoxo
take my hand
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alwaysfalling
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2004 18 July :: 1.53pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: rilo kiley - glendora
so it seems lately that every conversation i have with my dad is either about how psycho my mom is and/or when i'm going to be able to drive. if all goes as i want it to, which is doubtful but definitely hopeful, i will get a job in the next two weeks, work, babysit for my aunt the week before school and make a few hundred, get my license the 30th of july, have it in hand, and then get insurance sometime before school starts because our damn insurance that we have now expires on august 7th so we found a new one that we get on that day and my dad doesn't want to add me right away because of money reasons. heck yeah though. finally going to be able to drive the pimpin oldsmobile, even if the first time is to school on wednesday.
other than that... my life is somewhat boring at the moment, i don't do much of anything which is fine because that i guess is what summer is partly supposed to be about. ap scores sucked majorly, didn't pass one of them, oh well, over and done with now. that's all for now. i must try to update at least one of my journals more often.
<3 love you.
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 17 July :: 10.50pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: can't get no better // cassidy
i used to believe.
woke up --> went to brittany's house. sat in her bed all day until like 5pm. she worked on our lj community =) i'll show u all when we finish.
---> we finally decided to get off our butts & go to wal-mart to pick up a few things, n then back to her house. but then i called my mom... n our family was planning on dinner. s0o... around 8pm... i went to dinner with my family.
what a bad move... because jonah called (or at least i think it was him) at 9pm & i missed the call because i was arguing with my dad. ya see, i'm not pleased with the car i got. this is 2004 & they're still comparing the car that i got to their old shitty cars, while i'm comparing it to all the cars that like my friends have for their first cars. its ridiculous, but i can't seem to hold my anger in so i told him i didn't want it. but i didnt mean it. n then he got into it about... how he is about ready to send me & my brother to military school. i couldnt help but cry & then carol & rick came in & carol was like... "bri just say sorry" n i couldnt bring myself to it because hearing him say "i'm gonna send them away for years..." hurts. then carol & i get into a conversation about how love hurts n to get over everything n i am... but i'm so empty/hurt at the moment. s0o i did some more crying. n my parents are suspicious... they think i am bulimic. they keep questioning me. n i can't help but cry because there's so much i wanna say but i just can't spill.
"u can never move backwards in the future, love is the same way." - Carol =)
what's so wrong with wanting to be wanted, n accepted? i just don't get this. i'm 16 yrs. old.. and we're all smart as hell, but why can't we understand why the fuck people treat us like they do n how the world goes around? why aren't we able to just understand life & what it's about... i don't care how uncreative & stupid this world would be if we were all the same... but honestly, it would make it so much easier.
bye.
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 17 July :: 1.02am
practice was fun. ---> our team is AWESOME.
coach dares: "i wanna be there when ur first f*ing stunt goes up." lmao
got home = slept.
woke up, ---> got my car. i'm not to pleased with it. its a buick. looks like my dad's car cept it is navy & brand new. but i hate it. i can't hurt dad's feelings though... n i mean, it is a car.
brittany came over. we went to get chicken noodle soup for danielle g & then broke into her house & scared the shittttt outta her. lol. her mom came home drunk after 2 margaritas, lol. it was hilarious. but she went to bed & we all watched t.v. then brittany & i came to my house. she "forgot her house keys" so she is here with me spending the night. n the lord knew that something was gonna hurt me tonight... n i needed someone here to let me be strong.
me, jonah & whitney. as if things just can't get uglier. i just am kinda done. i wanna forgive & forget. i knew this was coming & i care about him toooo much to let him suffer through this... i mean, he never meant to hurt anyone, n i just see his side of things... i feel bad, horrible, in fact. there's so much more to say, but i've got to dip cause i've got to think of a plan to kidnap stacey.
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 15 July :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: she will be loved // maroon 5
can you make me feel beautiful? you know i'm so insecure. but it's not always rainbows & butterflies
dull, dull day.
`~> slept all day pretty much. considering i was on the phone for awhile... til 4am with jonah... until the battery died out, again <3
`~> went to carol's to babysit.
* travis & brett called, very drunk. i, uh, didn't appreciate that they came over either. s0o yeah, brendan ((the prettiest boy in the world ---> now i c what jonah meant)) picked up brett. & travis went home. after that... carol, rick, dan & sherry came home. i have so many mosquito bites. but i'm not gonna itch. the little ones thought they were hives or something lol. anyways... haven't talked to anyone cept for jackie & danielle g all day ---> shoulda called jonah. =/ um... maybe him & i & whoever else = movies 2morrow night. plz lordy. i want toooooo.
*`` i've got practice 2morrow morning @ 8am. s0o here i g0o... heading to bed. ``*
---+ now i lay me down to sleep,
pray the lord, my soul to keep.
see me safely through the night,
and wake me with the morning light.
---+ find me love for this heart. someone who will be happy to be mine. a boy who loves me dearly, for everything i have to give. lord, i want love. its the best feeling in the world.... bring it back to me plz....? amen.
------>>>>>> she will be loved. <<<<<<------
hope & faith... i believe.
take my hand
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playmate101
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2004 15 July :: 12.47am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: memory // sugarcult
deep inside the corner of my mind, i'm attached to you.
let's get away... far away to paradise.
---> i got my cheer shoes, & my desk.
---> let's break all the rules & just kiss away, because i can't hold back any longer. arg.
---> officially making plans for departure to chicago. calling jonah every night. any one else want me to holler at them while i'm away? or u can holler at me when i disappear. 254.8483. =)
---> i felt so pretty today. just looked in the mirror... n whoa... i saw someone i actually wanted to stare at. like when u know u see someone hot walking & u just wanna stare? i felt like just staring at myself today lol. unfortunately there's no1 to share my sexy feeling with. grr.
---> going into brittany's bathroom, undoing my pants & spending five minutes looking for the toilet... forgot it was behind me.
---> chels, nikki, michelle & i hanging out at practice. michelle is back, & it was her birthday. nikki *smell this. *niiiiice perfume lmao. student gov camp lol. cookie man... <3
---> seeing danielle g & people at mc donalds, and everyone just staring at me. either i was really ugly or really pretty... u know like that stare i was talking about?! or maybe... there was another reason for everyone to stare?! i do not know.
((--this may never start... i'll tear us apart.--))
take my hand
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 13 July :: 11.45pm
and she returns....continued
mmm well I don't know what to do with myself so I guess I will finish my boring tale.
Yes so got home from publix made some more Daqueries and Coladas Margaux made fun of us for being big alcoholics who drink on sunday nights and went upstairs to study MCAT. It had turned out that Richelle wasn't going to be gone the whole time we were there and she was getting in at about 10:30 so at 11 her and Andres came over to chill.
lol we had an interesting night we all got drunk and started acting real bitchy. Andres was driving Richelle home so he didnt drink and instead decided to instigate the bitchiness. It was actually really funny.
We played fuck you which is like asshole only its a little different and it's a drinking game. Andres would just eat some ice cream instead of taking drinks since Margaux wanted us to finish it off so she didn't eat it. Of course he always won and made us all his beer bitches....makin us drink for pissing him off, pissing each other off, being rude to jerry (yes the giraffe from the nite b4), it was funny eventually we got bored of that.
Every1 had drank a lot of our stuff the other night but they also brought over more and left it so we had a pretty nice supply. I tried my hand at making a cosmopolitan myself and it went horrible wrong I had the vodka and the craberry juice and the triple sec but I messed up the proportions and it was way too strong. I drank most of it tho.
so yeah then Andres turned on Rules of Attraction....what a fucked up movie maybe it was just because I was intoxicated....I'll never look at James Vanderbeck the same again (however the fuck u spell it). Andres kept pissing me off I don't even remember how then he kept like grabbing the hat I was playing with away from me and I scratched him right where he had this scab and his arm started bleeding and I think i did it again later in the same spot by accident. lol I felt bad so I made him let me fix it by putting a tiny piece of tissue on it and wrapping scotch tape around his entire arm like 10 times it was so funny it looked like a retard did it but it cleared my drunken conscience a bit. heh
Richelle is such a bitch when she drinks its funny it rubs off on me. She said she wasnt my friend and she hated me or something and then we were talking about lesbians and I said if I was a lesbian I wouldn't want her and she got all sad and then I was being really racist and she was laughing her ass off....lol before calling her boyfriend a spick which is just never nice.
Yeah so at around 2ish I think they went home and we went to bed. The next day we woke up and hillary and margaux took hillarys car to the dealer to be fixed and michelle went along in her car incase they stalled on the way there. I was still not even dressed yet so I decided to stay at the house and take a shower and chill. I watched sum Dawson's Creek since there was nothing else on and nope....still can't look at dawson the same.
After they got home the three of us went out to lunch at El Toro which was this little mexican restaurant that michelle had been to when she was up there before. It was so cute and small like most people had never heard of it and the ppl there were so nice we could have really easily walked out on the check since they were taking forever but I would have actually felt really bad about it which is saying something.
After lunch we went back to the house to recreate the last scene of the Lord of the Rings where all of the hobbits jump into bed together and laugh and frolic lol well minus the frolicing we just kinda sat there being lazy asses for an hour or two. We decided Hillary's house was like a bed and breakfast only it was more of a "bed and bar" heh so we were amused by that idea for a while...this is a safe place we do not judge at the Hillary Inn. haha the mints and the wakeupcall...too great.
Later hillary tried to get us to run the stadium with ehr again but....its a big fricken stadium and we were on vacation. so we went over to richelles dorm to chill for a bit. Met her roomate amanda watched Andres be amused by stupidvideos.com for like a million years lol along with every little thing hillary said. Richelle was in Rawlings for the summer and the rooms were really small with communal bathrooms plus I don't think she likes her roomate much. idk she says the dorm isnt bad I guess it would take getting used to.
The next part of the day is really complicated and involved so I will tell you the short and slightly incomplete version. After leaving Rawlings we were wandering around and saw an old friend of Hillary's, Gabe, walk in. She had been hoping to run into him since they hadn't talked in a while but she had just left us to go running. So we called her to come back even though it was too late. You need like 3 different keys to get into the dorm and Richelle and Andres had already left for dinner and couldn't let us in. So we just hung around for a while and we were about to leave when we ran into another old friend of theirs Luke, said hello started talking blah blah luke just happens to be Gabes roomate so he invited us up to say hi. Did I mention that both of these guys are fucking gorgeous!!! Seriously tall built dark hair blue eyes athletic wow. So we went upstair and chilled in their room for a while talked about random things Hillary and Gabe spent some time catching up Luke had us all watching North Shore because he always watches it which I thought was kinda cute even tho that show is no match for the OC. We were leaving to go out to dinner since it was getting late and a bunch of their friends came over to the door to get them to go play racket ball and again....omg it was like an entire floor of abercrombie models it was amazing I really have to get out of highschool. The only downside was that luke and gabe were thinking of rushing for this fraternity that is known for guys who are incredibly hot but are unfortunately conceited assholes and are a bad idea to date. (not that id be likely to ever see them again so it doesn't matter)
yeah so hill got their new numbers and we headed out to dinner at olive garden. Then we went home and met yet another extreamly hot guy. Margaux's friend Kyle had come over after his birthday dinner. lol not the greatest way to spend your birthday but we were all talking and he told us stories about his crazy ex girlfriend and he was really nice I liked him a lot. Yup so michelle and I were all for drinking again and tried to pass it off as sum birthday fun for Kyle but he had to drive home lol so We ended up watching how to lose a guy in 10 days in hillarys room. I got so depressed from that movie it was ridiculous. All of the nice hot male exposure at one time I suppose lol I'm not used to it here. But yeah the kissing scene at the end I almost lost it which is cheesy but...idk I felt so alone. After that we listened to some sappy music to go with the mood and then watched family guy which cheered me up messed around online and went to bed. The next morning michelle and I got all of our stuff together said our goodbyes and headed home. Hillary and Margaux are comming home tomorrow anyway so I'm sure we'll see them soon.
Overall I had a fun I can't wait to go back and visit michelle once she moves in. My parents wanna come up for a tour during the year and they said I can stay with whoever I want. Im going to miss them all so much when I can only see them for the rare long weekend away. They really feel like family to me sometimes just because I feel so comfortable around them. I would tell them anything we can just sit around for hours doing nothing and somehow its fun I don't have to be self concious about how I act they just accept me as i am and idk I'm just going to miss them. blah so that was my trip I know none of you care but...I don't care I don't make you read it.
yes so now I'm home and making plans with my chub and my phatass for a night of dorkish fun...
oh yeah did I mention that I have sooo much country music in my head from michelle actually a lot fo it isn't bad and ALL of it is about drinking, and alcohol, and mexico and lost loves and suicide and redneck stuff right up my alley. This one song is so pretty and sad...Hillary said I went country in 3 days lol
*Whisky Lullaby*
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,
Until the night.
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her 'til I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind,
Until the night.
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la...
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand
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