playmate101
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2004 17 July :: 1.02am
practice was fun. ---> our team is AWESOME.
coach dares: "i wanna be there when ur first f*ing stunt goes up." lmao
got home = slept.
woke up, ---> got my car. i'm not to pleased with it. its a buick. looks like my dad's car cept it is navy & brand new. but i hate it. i can't hurt dad's feelings though... n i mean, it is a car.
brittany came over. we went to get chicken noodle soup for danielle g & then broke into her house & scared the shittttt outta her. lol. her mom came home drunk after 2 margaritas, lol. it was hilarious. but she went to bed & we all watched t.v. then brittany & i came to my house. she "forgot her house keys" so she is here with me spending the night. n the lord knew that something was gonna hurt me tonight... n i needed someone here to let me be strong.
me, jonah & whitney. as if things just can't get uglier. i just am kinda done. i wanna forgive & forget. i knew this was coming & i care about him toooo much to let him suffer through this... i mean, he never meant to hurt anyone, n i just see his side of things... i feel bad, horrible, in fact. there's so much more to say, but i've got to dip cause i've got to think of a plan to kidnap stacey.
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spoiled-kisses
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2004 16 July :: 11.52am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: ..pieCes 0f me -->> aShlee simPs0n..
. juSs thinking .
i feel lyke i've ruinedD my lyfe. i've br0ken all trust between me nd my parentsz. i feel lyke theyy dun care nem0re. lately, i feel lyke miKe is the 0nlyy 0ne wh0 seemsz t0 care. i tell hiim everyything n0w. he kn0wsz m0re b0ut my lyfe then i d0 .. if that's p0ssible? but wen tearsz start r0llin d0wn my cheeksz, he's the first pers0n i call nd wen i tell hiim stuff .. he actuallyy listensz nd he alwayysz kn0wsz wut t0 sayy nd he tellsz me the straight upp truth. it feelsz g00d t0 kn0 that he's n0t 0nlyy my b0yfriiendD but s0me0ne i can talk t0. it was never lyke that wit edDy. me nd miKe tell each 0ther all the little detailsz nd shyt nd it juss g00d t0 kn0 he's there f0r me thru all this. s0o my m0m f0undD 0ut b0ut hiim nd i ran awayy. g0t threatenedD that she w0uldD call the c0psz 0n mike. s0o i came back h0me nd gr0undedD till AUGUST 1. it suxx but she saidD if me nd miKe are still t0gether by that tiime, i'm all0wedD t0 see hiim. which is a g00d thiing if y0u heardD the shyt she was sayiin b0ut hiim bef0re. s0o it's helpiin me t0 get thru this. i'm still thiinking b0ut m0viin 0ut th0. i dunn0, i think i'd have a better relati0nship wit my family if i did. juss thinking. s0o phiL is being super dumb b0ut all this nd he's actiing lyke a fuckiin pussy. but wutever. newayysz, g0tta g0 babysit in a few. i'll write m0re if i can later. xoxo (( oNe ))
2 . K i S s E s |
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playmate101
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2004 15 July :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: she will be loved // maroon 5
can you make me feel beautiful? you know i'm so insecure. but it's not always rainbows & butterflies
dull, dull day.
`~> slept all day pretty much. considering i was on the phone for awhile... til 4am with jonah... until the battery died out, again <3
`~> went to carol's to babysit.
* travis & brett called, very drunk. i, uh, didn't appreciate that they came over either. s0o yeah, brendan ((the prettiest boy in the world ---> now i c what jonah meant)) picked up brett. & travis went home. after that... carol, rick, dan & sherry came home. i have so many mosquito bites. but i'm not gonna itch. the little ones thought they were hives or something lol. anyways... haven't talked to anyone cept for jackie & danielle g all day ---> shoulda called jonah. =/ um... maybe him & i & whoever else = movies 2morrow night. plz lordy. i want toooooo.
*`` i've got practice 2morrow morning @ 8am. s0o here i g0o... heading to bed. ``*
---+ now i lay me down to sleep,
pray the lord, my soul to keep.
see me safely through the night,
and wake me with the morning light.
---+ find me love for this heart. someone who will be happy to be mine. a boy who loves me dearly, for everything i have to give. lord, i want love. its the best feeling in the world.... bring it back to me plz....? amen.
------>>>>>> she will be loved. <<<<<<------
hope & faith... i believe.
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playmate101
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2004 15 July :: 12.47am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: memory // sugarcult
deep inside the corner of my mind, i'm attached to you.
let's get away... far away to paradise.
---> i got my cheer shoes, & my desk.
---> let's break all the rules & just kiss away, because i can't hold back any longer. arg.
---> officially making plans for departure to chicago. calling jonah every night. any one else want me to holler at them while i'm away? or u can holler at me when i disappear. 254.8483. =)
---> i felt so pretty today. just looked in the mirror... n whoa... i saw someone i actually wanted to stare at. like when u know u see someone hot walking & u just wanna stare? i felt like just staring at myself today lol. unfortunately there's no1 to share my sexy feeling with. grr.
---> going into brittany's bathroom, undoing my pants & spending five minutes looking for the toilet... forgot it was behind me.
---> chels, nikki, michelle & i hanging out at practice. michelle is back, & it was her birthday. nikki *smell this. *niiiiice perfume lmao. student gov camp lol. cookie man... <3
---> seeing danielle g & people at mc donalds, and everyone just staring at me. either i was really ugly or really pretty... u know like that stare i was talking about?! or maybe... there was another reason for everyone to stare?! i do not know.
((--this may never start... i'll tear us apart.--))
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playmate101
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2004 13 July :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: Sleep To Dream // Maria Mena
and u stumbled around for a good ten minutes. & i said i never seen some1 look so dumb b4 n u laughed n said i still know how 2 turn u on though.
"you could put JLo to shame." -- Alicia (the lady that works with jackie) referring to my butt lol.
this morning i woke up & went with jackie to get her rook... ? on her ear pierced. drove to cityplace & went to Ink Link & hadda go get the form notarized at her work & go to the car dealership to get a copy of her mom's license. then we headed to Ink Link over on Okechobee...? (that was after waiting for a 1/2 hour on the exit for southern blvd. cause the traffic was backed up from 6th ave all the way to southern.) jackie didn't even flitch when she got her piercing & that shit looked like it hurt! then we went to iHOP for brunch... lol the huge waffle & the fucked up pancakes lol. but afterwards, i came home... just sat around for the rest of the day.
pj called ---> "expect a call from dan, cause he thinks he has a chance." haha wtf? i told pj to tell the kid that he doesn't have any chance. sry lol.
neil called ---> i shoulda went to play paintball today, but i wasn't gonna go when only like 4 other people were playing. n besides, i went out with jackie. although mommy isn't too fond of it cause i shouldn't have been out while she was at work. =/
HCOblonde31: i'd love ta g0o tho
MoFo1788: ya ya ya, ur fraid jonah might get mad cuz ur hangin out with guys with extra barrels
MoFo1788: and lots of balls
HCOblonde31: lmao
MoFo1788: :-D
o yeah we kept getting whistled at by the damn construction workers. ahhhh. s0o uncomfortable. and then the guy in the eckerd's parking lot came up to our window & handed us his card & said he did computer work, but he wanted us to just call him... i'm like... WE'RE SIXTEEEEEEEN! damn, and he's like haitian & 30 yrs. old. *cries*
um... i've just been informed that... next week, after i come home from cheerleading camp... we're leaving for chicago... yeah... thats not happening. i still don't wanna go cause i've got shit planned... but we'll see how it works out.
yeah i just got back from being in my garage talking to rick, tim, my dad, & mom. lmao
rick: "u know what's in style now, those high beds that u have to jump on to get in. you know it'd be cool to get some silk sheets & just slide on that motherfucker."
tim: "i gotta wash my hands from grabbin' tom's ass."
o0o... about the plans for chicago... my dad was like, "well if you guys are going to fly up there, then i'm going to drive in my new vehicle." "u guys aren't coming back with me are you?" "i mean what if my new vehicle is a corvette?"
thats when... viper clicked. *shrug* there's no way. cause they're talking about getting some truck or a hummer. we'll see if my dad's shit talking with be worth anything... lol <3
anyways, i'm gonna dip. go finish my collage cause i have nothing else better to do, and nobody online is talking or responding. yikes.
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playmate101
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2004 12 July :: 4.32pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: True // Ryan Cabrera
i'm weak, it's true, i'm just scared to know the ending.
idk y i'm updating... i've been thinking... n plus i'm really bored.
had practice & hung with Chels & Nikki. "i had one n i swear my macaroni started talking to me". "omg matrix whoaaa" lmao. "yo baby, yo baby yo MOMMA!" lmao "all those kids in private school are baddd, u think they're good, but their parents didn't want them thats y they got stuck there." lol.
anyways... got home from practice & ashley & i were gonna go shopping... but she doesn't have money to spend. =/ for some reason, i have this feeling that she doesn't like me.... idk i didn't d0o nutn. maybe i'm just annoying to her. lol i know i get annoyed with people. *shrug*
s0o at noon today, my phone rang. i thought someone called... but it was my alarm that i set awhile back... the 12th of every month, it would go off @ noon, for our anniversary. thats when i hit rock bottom. just got weaker... felt down, but what can ya do?
neil n i hadda convo last night. i liked it alot.. someone to talk to. but he just kept insisting that i find new guys.
HCOblonde31: u know how u were talking about how bein with someone... n havin those simple hugs feel different... jonahs have always been different... n so have our talks... compared to the many other guys i've met & hung with in the past few weeks... thats why they dont compare....
HCOblonde31: mushy lil girl lol sry
MoFo1788: yea but tahts cuz u liked him
MoFo1788: start liken sum1 else
and to my surprise... i haven't talked to jonah all day today, and i wanna call him... but i think after last night... him thinking that i want someone that i don't know (dennis)... idk i feel uncomfortable... with him thinking that i pity him... because when i say somethin i mean it. i guess for me to be comfortable he would hafta call me... lets me know that it didnt get him pissed. =/
ok i'm sick of talking... imma go be bored in my bed & watch some more tv. call my cell if u wanna do something, or justttt to say hello. <3
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playmate101
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2004 11 July :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: famous now // reel big fish
she works hard for the money
worked. 9am-4pm. ---> ugh.
let me explain. i am s0o sore from not resting at all & having practice. i end up being the only person that gets carts until 11am. jack is too stubborn to do his job, & he's like 90 years old. fucker should be fired. but anyways... dennis came in. this kid is hottttt. i was too nervous to talk to him though. during lunch ---> i called danielle & brittany... they should be coming over to keep me company 2night.
GUESS WHO i SAW TODAY?! JOEY!
hahahaha. he was with his friend... and he's like, "briana!" & i was all like, "hi joey! *big hug* whatcha up 2? how ya been? blah blah blah." he's super cute. s0o anyways... walter came in around 3:30pm. he was like, "hey munchkin" hehe. um.. right before i left he was going to get carts w/ dennis, & it woulda been fun to do, except i was about to clock out.
Terry: "You guys go get carts."
Dennis: "only us 2?"
Walter: "Well, there's briana..."
Bri: "bye bye." hehe.
s0o i clocked out & bought a bag of candy & laid on a bench watching everyone work while i just got fat with candy lol. then walter came up to me...
Walter: "You goin' 2 the meeting on monday?"
Bri: "No, i've got practice from 8-11am. y?"
Walter: "Cause i'm gonna be there, and u should be there cause i'm there."
believe me... i wanted to be there when he was cause he's hilarious and we just laugh at each other... *shrug*
um... my mom finally took me home. our convo in the car...
Bri: "yeah, and Dennis was the only other one there."
Mommy: "Yeah, he kept asking me all about u, like when he was gonna meet you, and when the next time u worked was and so on."
Bri: "i didn't know who he was, why was he asking about me... i've never seen him before."
Mommy: "He was interested, but don't worry i told him that you weren't his type."
Bri: "MOMMY! HE'S HOT!"
Mommy: "i was standing next to him at the time clock & he was telling me how your boyfriends came in & i asked how many & he said 2, (referring to Joey & Joey's friend) & i said to him 'she has a lot of those.' and he goes, 'i can see why.' "
haha. anyways, i'mma go.. gotta call brittany & danielle. brett, & travis. and whoever else. <3
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playmate101
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2004 11 July :: 12.02am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Ban the Tube Top // RBF
sheee has a girlfriend now lol.
went food shopping with mommy this morning. jonah called me while i was with her. he told me he'd call me back. i called him around 10pm & he wasn't homeeeee. =P
got home from shopping & went to the beach for a little. brett called - got home from helping his dad move... wanted to hang out when i got home. alex called - wanted to go to the movies, but my parents thought it would be a better idea if i stayed home & "rested" because i've been out late for the past few nights. w/e. so when i got home, i showered & met up with brett at the park. so many people were there. i actually met adrian... n then his bro, chris, robert, jason & wilbert. chance, my bro, & brett were there too. i swung on the swing while they played bball. chance gave me a nice big sweaty hug. yuck. n he bleached his hair, slim shady wanna be grrr. lol. adrian was trying to flirt - he has no game, but he was generous & gave me a ride home cause i didn't wanna walk. yay haha. brett & i made plans to meet back up at the pool. s0o i ate dinner & showed up to the pool along with brett, garett, danny, travis & nicole. then later, jennifer, robert & some other kid showed up. um... jennifer was cool, we didn't have a hard time makin' convo like nicole & i had. robert was funny - answering brett's phone when his x g/f called. brett & travis kept beatin' garett & danny to show off. lol... funny though. matrix haha. pool closed @ 10pm s0o we left. brett tried convincing me to go play man hunt with them... but i wasn't up for it. sore & i gotta work in the morning. s0o i came home, watched the rest of "Las Vegas" with mommy & ate ice cream. neil & i just made "plans" n um... jonah is on, but he said, "brb"... *shrug*. umm talkin' ta ashley c & felipe & camilo too.
found out that we are going on vaca from the 7/29-8/10 then going to school the next day?! not happening at all. i am planning on going to kaila's party & have soooo many cheerleading performances that week. s0o my mom & i are gonna make him reschedule ... for thanksgiving break? or new years? idk but just not that week that my dad was planning. grr.
hmm enjoyed the day for being very sore. but i gotta go put my work clothes in the dryer. xoxo ttyl <3
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playmate101
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2004 10 July :: 12.36am
:: Mood: jubilant
:: Music: set up = reel big fish
if everyone is d0ing it, i'm not gonna be every f*cker. just the blonde girl.
last night was the RBF concert. which was absolutely amazing. friends, loud music, dancing like white girls should, and just fun. it was me, ashley c, danielle & zach. short story: zach forgot the tickets at home in his wallet... we went back to get them... just made the concert. it felt g0od getting out to just see different people... and those from middle school as well. anyways.. then we went to denny's. i wish that ellen woulda went to the concert. i think we woulda had some fun moments. not that her & i are close... but yeah, it woulda given friendship a meaning? idk what i'm saying lol. but u know what i mean... i hope.
s0o this morning i woke up from cheer practice. yikes. um... worked our asses offffff s0o badly. but chelsea, & nikki & i had fun lol. our conversation in the jump line was funny. like... twice a day... duh lol. umm got to know people like Brittany, Holly, Julie & Stephy. i have a feeling i'mma be in pain 2morrow when i wake up. o well. its worth it.
s0o i get home... talked to brittany & took a nap. then brett calls. & then i talked to jonah... and then he hadda go. i hope he won his game tonight... i know he wasn't glad about last night's game =/ anyways... s0o brett calls back... & him & travis decide to come over because they have nothing else better to do with their lives. ummm s0o we talked & hung out. got made fun of... that kinda thing. then i went in... took a nap. got jackie's call so i hadda get ready for the UCT show. which wasn't bad. hot singer = J.M. & he's very crazy. jackie's crush isn't bad = wayne. and doug the drummer has an awesome sense of humor / personality... the one guy... don't know his name.. reminded me of tom from blink182. i mean it was all a newer experience for me... which was ok. but i'mma shy girl when it comes to meeting new people. but jackie & i got tired pretty early, so we left around 10:20pm. got home & hadda bowl of cereal, & a soda pop. n i wasnt tired no more. s0o i called up brett & told him i was home. s0o he decides... "ok r u allowed out, cause i'm coming over" yeah s0o i went outside, & walked to the end of the block & there he was. had kinda open talks like friends do & then i got really hyper & we started walking & then i almost got ran over and i tried lifting brett up with my feet but it wasnt working. stupid. then travis called & rode his bike in like .03 seconds up to where brett & i were.
then we all talked as stupid me... bounced around cause i have no life & jonah isn't online so i didnt wanna stay inside expecting him to come online... cause he still hasn't. i'm really in the mood to talk to him. but there is nothing that can cure or help that because he is not here. i miss him a ton. i have the biggest urge to just see him & jump on him and lalalalalala yeah. ok i'm bored & camilo is talking to me now s0o imma dippppp like u would dip ur tostitos in ur salsa. haha, awesome.
*but i want u, and u want me too
and you need this, wanna give it to u
and i thought this time i'd say something new.* <--- those mean s0o much f0r s0me0ne, haha, <3
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