:: 2004 20 June :: 11.27 pm

NEW UPDATE!!!
hey me n Brett are talking....wowie.....this is somethin new...of course, I IMed him...i guess ill put or convo in here:

X0 MiSsIn U143X0: hey (and no, not the wrong IM this time)
05: lol
05: hi
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: sorry bout all those wrong IMs...its my way of tellin u to tlk to me bc i need a friend
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: whats up
05: not a whole lot, not feelin too good, but ill be fine
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: oh, im sorry...hope u feel better
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: same here
05: ill be fine
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ok
05: i plan on stayin round the house tomorrow so i can rest some
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: o thats kewl...
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: uhh, u wanted to c those pics i had gotten a while ago..
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: do u still?
05: ya i want to see them
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ya gotta find em theres like 2 i think...ones at the top and ones on the side
05: ok
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: tell me the honest truth about what u think
05: ok
05: hey are u gonna send me those pics of u?
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: go to that link i sent u
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: lol, i thought u were lookin at it.......
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: do u need me to send it to u agen?
05: no
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: k
05: i didnt see the link earlier
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ook
05: and jus so u know, i still do care
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: u read that?
05: yes
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: o god
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: i could say sumthin, but im not...and i dk why i jus said that
05: if there is something u want to say, go ahead and say it
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: naw, im good
05::'( please
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: agh................i was gonna say.......................if u cared, u would tlk to me when u r on.....like now...i miss how things used to be between us.....like when u always IMed me and we had fun (?) i gues....i juss miss old times
05: well i wish i had more time in my day so that i could talk to you, but with my job amd everything else it leaves me with little time for getting online.
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: i figured as much....its not that i want u to drop everything to tlk to me......im glad u got a job....very glad actually.....juss when ur online....


(yeah that last thing he said is a bunch of bull)

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 10.49 pm

Sarah....
hey, I am tlkin to Sarah right now...and I relize how great of a friend she is to sit there and listen to me talk n talk about "benny" when her friend juss died...I think right now, she is one of the greatest people alive.......I love her sooo very much.....yall really have no idea......She always helps me out with my problems....even when they r stupid like guys.....and ugh, idk...but I cnat wait untill she gets here...I juss wannagive her the biggest hug and say thank ufor everything that shes done for me...

Sarah...thank u, ur the best! and I love uz soo very much

4 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 10.37 pm

quote of the hr....

"I can do honest. I look around me and discribe what I see" Daria

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 8.16 pm

sarah, babii, im really soryr about ur friend.....im here for u....and I love u, i hope u'll be ok........*kisses and sorries go out to u*...

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 7.51 pm

ahhh, im bout to fall in <3 with lauren LOL....not really......juss bc she is thinkin bout bringing matt to teen night so we can dance.......the only bad thing is, his GF is Lauren's best friend, so neither of us can let ne thing happen between me n him....and actually, impretty ok with that.......woop woop, we REALLY wanna go now......im juss in a bad dancin kinda mood..................(mind u i sad BAD DANCIN not dirty dancin!).......wow, im really giggly right now.....me n her r BAD...found out who the bad triplet was!haha, juss kidding, so it looks like we r going to teen night next week.....YAY!!!!!! im sooo happy, i cant wait....wow, gotta go shopping......woop woop, im going to the mall tomaro! (coral wood....) ah, im so hyper...so, ok, i am going shoppin twice............... so lets see.......tomaro shopping and gettin new contacts........tuesday....babysittin....wednesday.....nothing....thursday...nuthin.....friday... possibly shopping, saturday....ok, goin hopping with lauren, teen night, she is spending the night.....sunday...church and uh.....another bible study.....waahhhooo, ok looks fun! can't wait.........ok, well, im gonna go now........

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 5.34 pm

Hey hey...I am on the phone with Kelsey, and I am watching the movie thirteen and she is trying to make my one journal all pretty.........:-) My gold fishes.......... we have the gold fish song stuck in our head! Kelsey...........1 more week!!!!!!! (and a few days) woop woop.......... so yeah, there is a part in this movie, where her thong is all hangin out n junk and her brother walks in and hes like back that ass up and she turns around.......and hes like TRACY! wow...this movie is soo great! it reminds me alot of Bradenton and Nadines mom...........
haha, this is really funny, Kelsey is like crakin up soooooooooooooooooo bad! its really quite funny.......i cant stop laughing either...she sounds sooo stoned, for realz....ther is like 10 ppl over at her hosue in the same room playing Halo...... and they r freekin loud! jeeze!! (I personally thik that she drank a lil bit too much last night and its havin a late affect.....but Im not sure.........) ok...alrightii, well, im gonna go now, and finish the movie.........buh bye

o btw Sarah, i am no longer mad at u for not eating, bc except for a few bites to eat here in there, i havent eaten in four days either......

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 11.34 am

Places that bring back memories.....
Teen Night- 1st time i met alot of ppl, me n james fighting, me n todd (eek), eric n heather, james and alison, me n justin, me n ty, lauren and ian...vince

Movies- todd n chris gettin into a fight...meana and sean going out....lisa running after me and marcus running with me, the "marcus fan club" bothering Boobs (aka Robby Bubar), me n eric walking around, meeting todd...

Target- the first time I saw Chris there....(i was looking at bras and i had one up to my boobs lol), the 2nd time i saw him there and he didnt recognize me...uhhh, the last time i went and saw him...i felt really drunk, and i was sayin ne thing juss so i could tlk to him, n he was in the dog isle so i was like, hmmm, i think i need soem dog food....lol, went out side and i chased him bc i want my necklase, that he doesnt have ne more :'( ummm....yeah, there r more, but im good...

Yacht Club Pool! (omg, stupidest memories EVER) ok, when me n meana were in 6th and lisa was in 8th.....god, we did jr lifegaurds and we ALL thought James and who ever else were looking at our butts under water so we told the life gaurds and got them in trouble.....

Church- wow, me n kelci not liking eachother when we met...@ end of skewl bash....uh, courtney and christian, 30 hr famin....rock the universe (yeah babii), missions trip bible study....sleeping outside, hanging out, drifting from chris and christian, growing back to them, meeting steven, tom, goign to the movies, small groups...spinning on big barrels and watching the guys (well, chris and kirk) fall and hurt them selves....ehh, it was funny.....
if ne one else has ne memories.....skewl doesnt count....

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 11.15 am

hey, I didnt really get to say to much bout last night cept bout the whole ((him))thingy....and yeah....I was juss really sad and really out of it...... ne wyas, last night, me elyse james, kelci, todd, jessica, chris, and some ryan kid went to the movies...we saw stepford wives...(I dont recommend it)...I took todd down to the front row with me bc I couldnt sit up there and watch Chris n Jessica make out..sorry, and idk why, i juss couldnt......so we sat there and either James kept kikin my seat, or Elyse would come and tlk to me....so after the movie, elyse left....and me n Todd n C&J hung out bc Kelci, James and Ryan all went for a walk and i didnt feel like it bc i didnt feel good.......so me, being the stupid one...stayed......and it was really weird....bc the first time i met todd, it was me, aaron babb, chris and meana...this time it was me chris JESSICA and Aaron......(oh, we saw aaron and juss tlked to him for a bit) but yeah, it was kinda weird i guess......and then we were standing by the place behind the movies....that lil "hall" i guess u could call it... and I member thats where me n Lisa almost got into a fight in and marcus had to grab my hand n make me run...(run sara run...lol marcus) and its where Meana told me Sean asked her out....and its where on Dec 19, totally ignored me....and then when I saw him @ work the next day, he came up to me...........and tryed to tlk to me, and i told him i didnt know who he was...when, instead, i should have said :" do u really expect me to tlk to u after u ignored me last night"?? hmmmmmmmmmm....! oh, its also where Todd and Chris almost got into a fight with some black n mexican ppl.......that was REALLY scary....ok, so yeah, we juss hung out and took pix (of course, me n my camera fettish) and I left......so yeah, that was my wonderful night.....psht, yeah right.......I really hate going to old hang outs....they bring back soooo many memories........

YoU

:: 2004 20 June :: 12.52 am

Im really heartbroken.........cant ya tell

I'm trying really hard not to cry over you because every tear is just another reminder of how I don't know how to let you go...

You know, the worst part about having to fall asleep when you have a broken heart is having to wake up, because right when you start to open your eyes you are about to feel happy until you realize your life is terrible and the pain nearly swallows you whole..*

perplexing ? of the night
Would you rather never see the person that you loved or never hear them say "i love you"?

*~...LOVE... Just Another Form Of Suicide~*

i see u in the hall, u never say hello. i see u kissing her. it always lets me know, i blew it with you, and i still can't let go

I tHiNk Im AfRaId Of BeInG hApPy Bc EvErYtImE i Am HaPpY sOmEtHiNg BaD aLwAyS hApPeNs..

YoU

:: 2004 19 June :: 11.10 pm

"Are u in pain?"- Commercial

Does heartbreak count??????? Idk why...I do this every friggin time....k I like this kid...ALOT...we'll call him "Benny".....and we went to the movies tonight....w/ me, Elyse, Todd, Jessica, Chris Kelci and James..... and of course, im stupid and invited them to come, even tho, everytime i c em together, it hurts me so bad....(him n his gf)...I got home tonight and juss cryed.....something I havent done in a while.......... and I didnt even hang out with em most the night, juss chris todd and jessica.......well...yeah imma go.....i've got better things to do than sit here and ask ppl to feel sry for me........so peace....

YoU

:: 2004 19 June :: 5.37 pm

hey hey........well, today Sarah called me at like 1:30 (my time) we tlked for bout an hr...kinda..............and thenI went to my Gmas to get some soda.....yummy yummy......im so sik of diet soda........so uh, yeah, now im tlkin to Sean and Sarah.....so, sean thinks i need help (hes juss messin)

X0missinu143x0: wow u really need help
: really?
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ya,
: will you help me
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ill try
: do or do not t her is no try
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ok, i will
: ok
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: (but dont get discouraged if i start crakin up)
: you can start by fetchin the newspaper
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: pdht...no
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: *psht
: pdht?
: what areyou a doctor now
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ya
: sara
Auto response from X0 MiSsIn U143X0: get ur own news paper sean
: i think you need help
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: y
: i think your a little off your rocker
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: lol
: this isnt funny sara this is serious business
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: seriously?
: i dont know what do you think?
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: i think i am crakin up right now
: oh man this is worse than i thought...
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: looks like ur a doctor now huh
: when was i ever not a doct
: or
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ok,Sean...UR the one who needs help
: dont try to rub your insanity off on me
: its not gonna work
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: Ok....DR Holmes
: please
: call me doc
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: ok...doc
: do you honestly think im a doctor
: what goes on in your head???
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: do ya really wanna know?
: i dont know
: i dont know if im ready
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: well...its yes or no
: what is
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: if ur ready or not to know what is goin on in my head
: yes or no is going on in your head
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: no.....visions of sugar plumbs dancing is going on in my head

so yeah, the last part....I was juss jokin bout......lol......and Sarahs makin me feel nervous...I think thats what it is...idk, its hard to explain...im not scared...i guess maybe juss curious........(?)

13: Oh I'm gonna have a surprise for you
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: uh oh
13: What do you mean uh-oh?
X0 MiSsIn U143X0: suprises scare me
13: ...This...won't scare you
13: I'll tell you, you might freak out..but inless your one of thoughs very romantic types or whatever....uhh...you'll probley get a few tears in your eyes


Well, u...see thats why im all eh...... Uh, I gotta go get in the shower bc I am gettin ready to go to the movies.....bbl

YoU

:: 2004 19 June :: 5.09 pm

Some ppl think that just bcuz they dress punk or listen to punk music that they're punk.
To all those who think like this WORDS OF WISE: Punk isn't a type of music or a style.
Punk is a way of thinking for yourself and not becoming wat the "world" wants u to be.
Punk is not caring wat other ppl think of u bcuz u kno that your being u and not tryin to
be something your not. Punk is freedom to be, to feel, to say what u want. Punk is
forgetting everything our parents instill in our heads. Punk is refusing to sit down and shut
up! Punk is refusing to grow up, to give up, and to let go.Punk is being loud and not caring
who hears wat u got to say. Punk is your ideas that u possess in your mind.Punk isn't a social
status.Punk is having a voice. Its not about how many patches u own or how many buttons u have on
your bakpak. Punk is Unity, Punk is Equality!!


I think i already wrote this in here...but my brother doesnt get it...he thinks he is still punk....but i dont think he is....if ne smart person knows how to put this into "lil brother terms" comment...

2 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 18 June :: 3.23 pm
:: Music: all my life

2 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 18 June :: 2.20 pm

Hey Hey…I had “band camp” agen today…it was shorter, and a lot more fun (mainly bc the triplets were there and the one guy that taught us everything was being really funny)! Heh, ne ways, we learned a whole bunch of dance moves, and we sight red….it was friggin hard bc the song was in 8/4 time signature which is super fast…………and eyah…….so, here, I am at home……….gettin ready to tell yall bout my super weird dream! Ok, I dk how it started exactly, but I flew to San Antonio to surprise Sarah even tho Im gonna c her later, and I stayed in her mom’s closet (?) and then she came home from NY and felll asleep on her computer chair and I saw her and woke her up, and she said hi, but it semt like she was mad at me and left to go to her friends house and they went out somewhere and when they came back, I was in her pool w/ Chris (Gentree{SP}) and Jeramiah and their mom was in NY too… and then after a while, Sarah came into the pool with her friend and I left and then she asked me if I was mad at her and I told her I was sad bc she was totally ignoring me and I flew all the way over there to c her…and then she gave me a big hug n kissed me, and we were all good………I guess…lol, then I woke up….c I told u it was a strange dream!

She came home last night, and I am waiting for her to get back online bc I wanna tlk to her……so yeah, imma bounce……….

YoU

:: 2004 17 June :: 7.34 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: fairly odd parents- TV

YoU