shiznit05
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2005 25 January :: 10.30pm
:: Mood: idk
do you ever wonder why we hold on to certain memories...why they are stuck taking up room in our heads when they really serve zero purpose? for instance...i have this memory from freshman year i believe, i was walking down the hallway...the cafeteria hallway, but i was farther down, like where it intersects with the library hallway...anyway, i stopped to talk to rachel gagnon and she said she liked my zip up hoodie, and i said thanks and that i got it for really cheap at wal-mart, and thats the end of the memory. why do i remember that? it means nothing. another one...im in third grade, in my reading group with sid, we were so far ahead we had our own reading group while others were forced to be with groups of 5 or 6, but i was assigned to read outloud, and i misread a sentence because i completely overlooked some punctuation, so it came out completely wrong, and i got repremanded for it. again, this serves no purpose, and it's a rather demeaning memory, because everytime i remember it i think of how dumb it was of me to have misread it. idk, its realy aggrivating, i mean, i know we all have those memories we wish would just go away, but i can understand those...we keep them with us to help us to prevent those sort of things from happening ever again, we use them as bricks to build up our walls if you will...but these memories that mean absolutely nothing, and prove no worth...its aggrivating, its like i could be using up my memory with other things that are actually worthwhile
i had another idea that ive been contemplating lately, but im too tired right now to share it...perhaps it'll appear in a later entry
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2005 18 January :: 6.55pm
i had such a great weekend...friday night was the dance team fazoli dinner...and i went and i was healthy! im never healthy this time of year, and because of that i normally miss the dinner..but i went and i sat with paige and kayln when i first got there, and then i sat with brian, drew, ian, barber, nelson, kelly and daron...stevie showed up later...we went to the boys basketball game (so close!!) and then booked it to the eagles hockey game, and i got home at 1, and completely died
saturday i didnt really do a lot...stayed home, went to work, and then hung out with daniel and stevie for the night while we didnt really do anything, but it was still semi entertaining, which is all i really need after working
sunday...went to the eagles hockey game, made plans for stevies that night, went to work, got doug, went home then to stevies! i was so hyper, it was amazingly fun. i ate way too much, watched sara suck way too much at lion king, shatted with barber a lot...it was just tons of fun...the girls stayed up until 330..and woke up by 830, we're not very smart...but the next day we all met up again and went to the eagles championship game (which we won 7-6! woo!)
mr dunn invited the girls over to dinner...so we went, and we had sooo much food! brats, hot dogs for people who dont like brats, hamburgers for the rest, ceaser salad, potato salad, baked beans, cookies, chips, pizza bites and veggies...sooo good! i havent eaten that much in so long, i think im still full...went to megans after that, tried to do calculus, we couldnt, so instead we had a little vent session about things/people that aggrivate us...it was good...its nice to know im not alone in most of this :)
school was horrible today...no motivation whatsoever...boo exams
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2005 18 January :: 6.41pm
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I`d love you to love me
I`m beggin` you to beg me
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I`d love you to love me
I`ll shine up my old brown shoes
Put on a brand new shirt
Get home early from work
If you say that you love me
Didn`t I, didn`t I, didn`t I see you cryin`
Oh, didn`t I, didn`t I, didn`t I see you cryin`
Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying
Oh, didn`t I, didn`t I, didn`t I see you cryin`
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I`d love you to love me
I`m beggin` you to beg me
I`ll shine up my old brown shoes
Put on a brand new shirt
Get home early from work
If you say that you love me
Didn`t I, didn`t I, didn`t I see you cryin`
Oh, didn`t I, didn`t I, didn`t I see you cryin`
Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying
Oh, didn`t I, didn`t I, didn`t I see you cryin`
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I`d love you to love me
I`m beggin` you to beg me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2005 5 January :: 8.01pm
no school = lazy day for britt!
last night at work was crazy, because everyone was in buying their groceries so they wouldnt have to come out in the nasty weather we were supposed (and did) get. it started to rain as i was driving home, and by the time 7am came by, they decided to close just about every school around...it was awesome. i didnt really do much today, watched beautiful mind, i had forgotten how much i loved that movie, and then i watched part of sound of music. by then cable was back on, so movie time was over.
hmm...as for winter break, it was decent, nothing too exciting. going out has become really boring...we need to spice things up a bit. one of my favorite nights of break was probably the night at jeds...only because it was something new, and it was with different people. im not saying that my friends are boring...im just saying we should be a little more open into hanging out with other people. none of this closed invitation bullshit...remember when we used to plan a night, and anyone and everyone was invited? those were the "good ol' days"
i helped jamers with his basketball throwing a bit over break...then we got to play super mario brothers 3 and kirby superstars...ugh, greatest afternoon ever...i love video games :)
speaking of which...i bought FF1 and 2 for gameboy advance...i play late into the night, which explains why i can be such a zombie at school..but its ok haha, it's well worth it
little kids concert is friday morning...if we have school, i love the little kids concert...its just fun, really low key and we dont have to wear formal wear, which to me is always a plus :) then we have the real concert sunday night...i would say everyone should go, but i understand that our concerts arent exactly exciting, so come if you want...its not necessary
thats all for now
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 21 December :: 9.23am
:: Mood: kinda blah
its been quite awhile since an actual update....
we'll just start at friday, because im pretty sure thats all the farther back my memory goes....friday was amazing! we (me ang ian adam and jake) all met at home depot at 6am to leave for camp. we got on the road around 615 and angie and i pretty much slept until i woke up having to pee. We all went into thedumoy gas station and 3 of us went in to pee (one at a time) and as we were leaving, the lady said "oh piss and go, i see how it is", jake was the only one who heard her though, we all had a great laugh about it, there was also a sign in the bathroom that said "you turn me on....turn me off", ang loved that one. we followed willie's sign erection for while, got the number for it, and then headed on our way to camp. we got there an hour early, sat around, i gave adam his birthday present, then jake ang and i went in to see if there were more people there or not, there were, so we went in for check-in, got our FREE shirt, and sat. stacie showed up after awhile, and then camp started. we started off with shot, i learned glide again, then we got lunch..yumm..then i got the option to either throw disc, or learn the inside version of hammer...ummm hammer!! so i learned that, i really wish we competed it now...then i went and i finally! learned full spin, i really needed to...now theres no reason i shouldnt beat stacie in disc this year...i could have learned javelin, but i needed to work more on my full spin, but angie learned it, so she cant teach me :) spent some time in the weight room, and the day was concluded...so much fun
the ride home was fine, called my mom to see how her mole thingy went, and she told me some unpleasent news about tara...poor thing. went out to dinner at steak n' shake...i wasnt the best company though, i still felt really bad about tara becuase i still didnt know if she was actually i the hospital or not, but they all got steak n' shake hats...i gave mine to adam...he has two now, and then we all left and finally got home :) called megan, ian and i had 20 minutes to make it to a movie, we might have been able to do it, if ian was psycho...the kid couldnt sit down! he sang about everything, sang while he shaved about shaving, sang about finding his pants and shirt, then he turned on i will survive and danced, then his mom came home and wondered what in the world was going on...then he found more paper hats and got excited, we got the rendevous and then went to the movie...20 minutes late, sat by ourselves, because there was no way we were finding megan brian kayln and daniel. after the movie, we went to ians, and i fell asleep, so i really dont know what happened there...
saturday...worked in the morning, came home took a nap, called daniel, he told me i sounded like crap, they were going to the basketball game...being spirited about our school was the last thing i wanted to do, so i opted out, then sara stevie and i went up to ians hockey game..see they play for eastwood, so i still wasnt being spirited about our school lol, got home from that, after making pit stops and two fast food places...
sunday...worked my first 8 hour shift ever! came home and slept :)
monday...did jack crap in the morning, sara and i went shopping, came home, engraved some shit for her, finished my presents for the girls, went into megans and exchanged gifts with her, met up with daniel, went to DQ, got hess and rishel, and then we went out to adams for his birthday, tried to stay quiet while everyone finished their movie (it was really difficult! i swear, we had alcohol or something) then daniel megan sara and i played some euchre, and then it was time to leave...happy birthday to adam
now we're at today...going shopping with daniel, because thats what we do...and then i have to work...booo
thats all :)
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 20 December :: 10.14am
I'm so scared that the way that I feel is written all over my face
When you walk into the room I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do.
But now a smile and a touch of your hand just makes me come unglued.
It's such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth?
Is it fact or fiction?
Oh, the way I feel for you.
It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
Just when I think I'm under control, I think I finally got a grip,
Another friend tells me that my name is always on your lips.
They say I'm more than just a friend, they say I must be blind.
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me from the corner of your eye.
Oh, it's so confusing,
I wish you'd just confess.
But think of what I'd be losing,
If your answer wasn't yes.
It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
I hate it
Cause I've waited so long for someone like you.
What do I do?
Should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't.
It's so complicated.
It's so complicated.
It's so complicated
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 20 December :: 10.08am
:: Mood: happy because it's BREAK
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 27 November :: 11.50pm
*FRIENDS* {most likely to..}
1.Fall in love: Sara
2.Become a Wall Street stock exchanger: Daniel…he just wants to be rich
3.Become a doctor: Douggie
4.Become a stripper: Megan or Stevie…like that one time in my front lawn..
5.Be seen in "Girls Gone Wild": that’s so megan!
6.Become a singer: Megan…all of these are going to be megan lol
7.Become a dancer: MEGAN!
8.Become an actress: not megan
9.Win on Survivor (and why): adam…he’s gonna be an eagle scout!
10.Be the first voted off on Survivor (and why): stevie…that giggle will cause people to hate her
11.Become a computer nerd: douggie…or joe
12.Make billions of dollars by selling overpriced water to people in the desert: Daniel..he’s mean, and wants to be rich..ian will be his partner, and barber will be there too haha
13.Become a druggie: hmm
14.Become an alcoholic: that would be me
15.Be seen on America's Most Wanted: Daniel ian and barber…for scamming people out of their money for overprived water
14.Become the creator of a sleazy reality show: Sara
15.To become gay: Daniel! Haha
16.Be on Jenny Jones: Stevie
17.Host a show similar to Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones: Megan
18.Be on welfare: Daniel..because he’ll get his billions of dollars and then lose it
19.Get married first: Sara
20.Never get married: Brian
21.Have a perfect husband, a minivan, 3 kids, and a big house: Sara or Megan
22.Have 5 kids by different fathers: oh geez
23.Marry a millionare: ooo I hope it’s me haha jk..we’ll say Daniel
24.Marry a nerd: Stevie
25.Marry a hockey/football/baseball player: me or megan
26.Marry someone they met in a bar: sara
27.Never marry: see #20
28.Divorce more than once: idk
29.Become a housewife: Stevie
30.Become an avid coffee drinker: megan..always on the go
31.Become a raver: ian lol can you imagine??
32.Become a police officer: Adam
33.Fail high school: Hess…poor guy
34.Never learn how to cook and/or use a washing machine: all me, all domestic qualities have skipped me
35.Become a comedian: not megan…
36.Be a good mother: megan…me…Amanda..stevie…sara
37.Live in the same city they were born in: stevie
38.Move to California: Sara
39.Move to New York: Me
40.Move to Hollywood: Megan
41.Move to a southern state: me megan and sara
42.Become a farmer: Brian…megan will try
43.Become a hairdresser: Sara
44.Become a sports star: Adam
45.Be a vegetarian: Sara
46.Wear only black: umm
47.Be the center of attention everywhere: Megan
48.Succeed in life only because of looks: umm
49.Never be labelled as a "dumb blonde": umm
50.Succeed in life: I hope all of us
8 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 22 November :: 8.08pm
ok, so i was getting good at this updating thing...
life has been busy lately...all i do is sleep, work and school, but its ok, being busy helps time to go quickly, which has its pros and cons...but mostly pros..
Thanksgivign is rapidly coming...im happy..and really nervous at the same time. i hate holidays without Beranrd..it's still so weird to picture him not being there, i mean, he was always there...good old Bernard...he never failed, and now...theres just an empty spot, i walk into the house, i look towards his chair, and he's not there...so the first ten seconds of the visit is a sad, heart wrenching one, and then its ok...it's those first 10 seconds i dread...
i called grandma and grandpa saturday, i miss them a lot, i spent the ten minutes afterwards just crying in my room..that was a highly emotional day, i cried three times for no reason...once because i thought about Thanksgiving, once because i missed my grandparents, and the third time is not one that will be mentioned. looking back, i feel like a big dork for crying, but i just miss them a lot...they need to come home, or i need to go down there...i just want to see them
school has been going on steadily...calculus is impossible, hover had a baby so physics is a joke, govt still needs to die, AP got somewhat interesting, and i paint happy trees in art. oh the live long day
work has been going the same...im meshing well with the other workers so time goes by a little more quickly...im allowed to have more fun now
we've been hanging out a lot more with kayln lately...shes a fun gal, someone new, fun to talk to though...shes says a lot of the right things...aka...nevermind lol
signing up for orchestra was actually signing up for my death
band hasnt been too bad, the two songs i have solos in are easy and make me happy
im starting to lose myself again...after i told myself i wouldnt..but i think im ok with it...
thats it
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 22 November :: 8.05pm
This song was on the radio last night on my drive home...it made me smile...a lot... :)
Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.
Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand.
Now let me hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.
And when I touch you I feel happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.
Yeah, you've got that something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.
And when I touch you I feel happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.
Yeh, you've got that something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll feel that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 16 November :: 9.49pm
1) time: 8:57pm, Nov. 16
2) name: Brittany
3) Nicknames: Britt….Timbah! ß dougs the only one who uses that one though…Jamers calls me b-dawg or b-dizzle
4) Name Spelled Backwards: ynattirb…haha that brings back some good track memories…
5) home town: Custar!
6) Grade: 12
7) Birthday: 10/23/86
8) Age: 18
9) School: BGHS
10) Hair Color: brown, with some natural highlight things..
11) Eyes: Blue
12) Height: 5'8.5"
13) Siblings: 1 Brother
14) Gender: female
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Have You ever?- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
15) Been so drunk you blacked out: nope
16) Missed school because it was raining: I don’t think so…
17) Set any part of your body on fire for amusement: haha no
18) Kept a secret from everyone: I did…I kept it secret for awhile too
19) Had an imaginary friend: nope
20) Wanted to hook up with a friend: well its better than hooking up with someone you didn’t like…
21) Cried during a flick: yea..not for a long time though
where's 22 ?
23) Ever thought an animated character is hot: gambit!
24) Ever prank called someone: do yo guys remember that one time…the one with wok kitchen?? That was a good one
25) Been on stage: go band!
26) Fought with your parents: ive given them the silent treatment
27: Wished upon a star: yea, but I never expect anything from it
28) Laughed until you cried: haha try like every girls night ever
29) Watched a sunrise/sunset: yup
30) Went to a beach at night: yea…I miss it
31) Been mean: sure have
32) Been sarcastic: not at all!
33) Are you happy: I think so
34) Are you talking to someone online: yup
Favorites----------------------------------------------------
35) Shampoo: I don’t remember the brand but it was raspberry almond and it made my hair so soft!!
36) Soap: bath and body works country apple…mm…
37) Colors: green!
38) Day/Night: night
39) Kinda Music: any song that enables you to really feel the emotion…its insane how moving it can be
40) Fav. Soda: vernors!
41) Fav. Drink: cranberry juice J
42) Fav. Car: oh man…I don’t think I could narrow it down
43) Fav. Perfume or Cologne?: the stuff that sara calls my football game smell..i wore it all last season, but I don’t know the name…lol
44) Fav. Radio Station: ooo…98.1, 96.7, 106.5, 93.5…im a flipper…lol
45) Fav. Website: beinggirl.com…its hilarious! Its not really my favorite though..
46) Fav. Subject in school: hmm…math
47) Least Fav. Subject in School: physics....GOVT!
48) Fav. Sport: football
49) Fav. Video Game: Final Fantasy 4 (it’s the only one ive beaten) and Super Mario Bros 3 J
50) Fav. Band: cake..or weezer..mmm
51) Fav. Food: spaghetti…anyone can make it
52) Fav. Movies: feel good movies
53) Fav. Place: Niagara
54) Fav. Holiday: Christmas!
55) Lace or Satin: satin I guess
56) Fav. Place to Chill: megans house haha
57) Fav. Ice Cream: Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey…no on else likes it!
58) Fav. Cartoon Character: gambit! haha
-----------------------------------Friends&Crushes-------------------------
59) Have a gf or bf: nope
60) Loved Anyone: I don’t think so
61) Who's the Loudest: well megan laughs loudly…stevie squeals loudly…Id have to say doug haha
62) Shyest: sara
63) Nicest: Megan
64) Funniest: pssh. That’s all me, nah…we’ve all got our moments
65) Craziest: again…we all have our moments
66) Who do you go to for advice: it depends…I go to megan for the everything will be ok speech…I go to ian for the harsh truth that needs to be sad…sara for the comments that don’t solve anything but make me smile…stevie for the quote…Daniel to tell me im just being dumb…adam for a conversation to actually work things out…hodges for the nice comments that make everything seem ok
67) Who do you cry with: sara….megan…stevie…the girls
68) Which friend lives the farthest from you: dani! Stupid Lancaster being 2 hours away
69) Talked to someone you have a crush on: yea…
70) Missed someone: all the time
71) Hugged someone you like: well, I don’t hug people I don’t like
----------------------------------------------Believe In----------------------
73) God/Devil: yes sir
74) Love at first site: not really…but it’s a nice though
75) The Big Bang Theory: yea..no
76) Heaven/Hell: uh huh
-------------------------------------Misc.-----------------------------------
77) Who named you: the parentals
78) When was the last time you showered: about 20 minutes ago…
79) What is right next to you: the files containing my college apps that need finished and sent out…
80) What are the last 4 digits of your phone number: 3739
81) What is your computer desk made out of: partical board…and covering that makes it look like gorgeous wood!
82) What was the last thing you ate: PBJ J
83) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: someone who makes me completely happy and is completely happy with me
84) How many buddies do you have on your list: 132
85) Hows the weather right now: dark…cold…gloomy
86) What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten: fried worms…in 6th grade…the boys didn’t think id do it
87) How do you eat oreo's: open mouth…insert oreo….chew and swallow
88) Are you too shy to ask a girl/guy out: yup
89) If you could change your name, what would it be?: not timber
90) What will your first son's name be: Eric….Andrew….idk…I think ive got awhile to think about thi
91) What would your daughters name be: Molly…I don’t know why I like that name so much lol
92) Do you like scary or happy movies: both
93) Do you like talking to people on the phone or in person: both…
94) Lust or Love: both…haha
95) Do you consider cheerleading a sport: umm…maybe if they compete…MAYBE, if not they’re just glorified pom pom shakers
96) Boxers or Briefs: don’t boys answer this question?
97) Bacon bits or Croutons: croutons
98) How long can you hold your breath: I guess until I pass out and start breathing again
99) Waiting till marriage: I used to think so…I don’t really know
100) Disney World or Disney Land: ive never been! But I guess the world
101) Do you do drugs: nope
102) Have you ever been skinny dipping: yup
103) Do you make fun of people: uh huh..its pretty bad sometimes
104) Have you ever been convicted of a crime: nopt
105) One pillow or two: ummm 4 haha
106) Pets: 3 cats and a dog
107) Piercings or Tattoo's: I have 8 holes
108) What's your bedtime: when staying up no longer has any appeal
109) Adidas, Nike, or Reebok: I guess adidas…I love my asics throwing shoes though..
110) Most embarassing moment: oh geez…
111) Do you attend church regularly: I used to..then I got a job, but I go when I can
112) What do you look for in the oppisite sex: kind, funny, taller than me is nice but not necessary I guess, fun loving, athletic, healthy, intelligent…basically mr right haha
113) Fav. Quote: "you run because you can…we throw because you cant"
114) Can you swim: yup
115) Do you like to swim: yup
116) Do you have an accent: I don’t notice it unless im with dani bill and robin
117) Do you have a job: yup
118) Do you prefer pools or oceans: pool…ocean water is too salty
120) What's better boys or girls: im thinking…boys…girls are dumb
121) Do you sing in the shower: haha yea
122) Who's the best looking person: george clooney makes me happy…
123) The best way to die: peacefully? lol
124) When do you want to die: well since I don’t really have a choice, I guess I don’t care
125) Have you ever called a 900 number: nope
126) Gold or Silver: gold…white gold…
127) Would you ever go bungee jumping: yes
128) Would you rather be short, tall, or semi-tall: semi-tall
129) Do you enjoy reading: yep
130) Which Winnie the Pooh character is your fav: eeyore
131) What was the last movie you watched: American beauty
132) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no…I was given one to sleep with for my 17th birthday…yea I don’t sleep with it
133) Do you think your attractive: ummm vain?
134) What is your sign: Scorpio and sometimes Libra
135) What are your personality traits: umm vain?
136) What is your biggest fear: being alone and then having a fit that goes too far
137) What movie do you really wanna see: I really wanna see closer
138) Who is the least attrative person you know: that’s mean
139) Optimist or Pessimist: optimist….but still a realist…with a side of being a pessimist when it comes to a few things/people
140) Would you ever have cosmetic surgery: nah
141) Do you like to dance: sure
142) What do you think of people who drink: as long as they’re smart about it
143) People who do drugs: it takes them down a few notches
144) Better to cry or laugh: I think they both can be necessary
145) Do you think men and women can ever be just friends: yes
146) Do you bite your nails: sometimes…its not a habit though
147) What's your worst habit: cracking my knuckles and shoulders
148) Did you ever cry over someone of the opposite sex: yes…fucker
149) Who in your life is your biggest role model: hmm…
150) Who was your first crush: Sid…haha man, those were the days
151) Who makes fun of you the most: probably Daniel…or ian…or adam…
152) your best friend: sara or megan
153) Do you want your friends to do this quiz: if they want to..
154) How much time did you spend on this quiz: 44 minutes…while talking to Daniel…and watching sex and the city…not bad
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 13 November :: 11.24am
:: Mood: sleepy
yesterday was pretty good...yay for not having school!
the morning was a pretty laid back one, i watched dawson's creek :) im such a goob, but it was fun, i had already seen the episodes, but its just like friends, you're able to rewatch them over and over, then after that i had to run into BG to the alumni building to drop off my scholarship stuff for them so they can give me thousands of dollars ;) came home and bummed around some more and made plans with kayln to meet at her house and then head over the the Christmas tree lighting...it makes me sad that they're lighting the tree already, but it was still very nice, i picked dainel up and brought him along also, ironically, we listened to some carols and then met up with megan and hodges and headed to video spectrum to pick out a movie, we got american beauty, i was the only one who had seen it, and i think its an awesome movie, so we decided on it, then headed back to megans to watch it...herringshaw stevie and sara met up with us also, we watched the movie until 10ish then just sat aorund and chatted until 12...it was lots of fun, i took daniel home and then got home around 1230 and the stars were AMAZING! i stayed outside for like 20 minutes just starring...its so hard to believe that some people dont have the ability to just look up and see them like i do...i would never survive in a big city where i couldnt look up and see thousands of stars...
today i have to work for 5.5 hours...boo...i hope amanda or ashley are working...they seemt o make the time go that much faster while im there....after work...idk whats up...no one tells me anything anymore! lol
otsego lost last night in overtime...sucks a lot, but they played really well this year, and hopefully next year will be just as great for them :)
thats it...im doing better at this updating thing!
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 12 November :: 10.30am
ok, im getting better at this updating thing...not a lot better, but its been less than three weeks since my last update... :)
we started sitdown band, its not so bad, the pieces have been fairly easy so far, and the solos arent bad, plus ive got sara right there, and that makes the period go a little faster
we threw a few times after school this week, it makes me remember how much i really dont like discus...its sad really, i feel like ive been stuck in this rut for the past 2 years, i can't break my pr, its horrible
work has been going by steadily, its not bad, the cashiers are entertaining which is a plus, and i like most of my coworkers...so all is well in that department
college stuff has been going on all around me, i have to go today to turn in my scholarship stuff for BG, yet another chance of a full ride with them, that will be my second full ride if i get it...im sweet like that
i joined the orchestra this week for their holiday concert, i dont know why, i think i just got myself into a lot of trouble, but it'll be interesting, and most definitely stressful, but its another thing to keep me busy, thats really the only thing thats been keeping me going lately, all the things i need to do
last night sara gave me a call after she had finished shopping with her mom and she wanted to hang out, so i headed over to her house, sat around for a bit, then went to kroger to get paid, then to megans...the three of us are the biggest rejects ever, it felt very much like old times where we would just sit around, chat, and laugh uncontrollably over things that arent really all that funny, it was really really nice though, it felt nice. i havent acted that way with anyone lately, and ive missed it.
i think im starting to get myself into trouble though...this new crush has popped up, and its not good...i shouldnt have it, sara says its ok, megan says its ok..but not, so idk, i mean, i do like him, but i know i shouldnt, but its hard because when i talk to him its just nice, and i smile a lot when im around him, and i havent smiled a lot around anyone for a long long time. i'm still really weary about getting close to anyone, i just dont know what to do really, i wanted for so long to just not care about anyone and imm starting to screw myself over
i had an attack the other night, for no reason whatsoever, it only lasted like 10 minutes, and it wasnt really a bad one, but these things are starting to piss me off, i was doing really well for 2 years and now they're popping up all over the God damned place...its really starting to piss me off a lot
the other night felt a lot like it used to...i was online chatting with ian, actually having a conversation with megan, making fun of people with daniel, helping hodges out, and giving advice to someone else...i felt necessary again, it was nice
i think thats it...everyone enjoy your day off!:)
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 4 November :: 2.31pm
im horrible at keeping up with this thing...i apologize
life has been hectic lately...
working 12 hours a week, its not so bad, its work, it normally passes fairly quickly, i enjoy it while im there, but as soon as i leave, the thought of going back makes me cringe...
school has been decent...calc is the only class im doing "poorly" in...i say "poorly" because its my worst grade...but its still a B+, but its so close to an A, it angers me. band is getting on my nerves a lot...it was fun today because i sat by daniel while he played his clarinet for the first time in 5 years...made me happy. the store debts are becoming less and less which makes me happy, but we're playing holiday music already, which makes me sad. i got first chair symphonic...im excited, yet extremely scared at the same time...im not a good soloist, i dont shine under the light like ian does...itll be interesting. calculus is a class i really enjoy...sure i dont always understand and its frustrating, but joh nick whipple and jacob keep it interesting...its always fun...physics...yawn...its such a bore, thank goodness tara is in there so i have someone to talk to..even though we talk a lot when we're not supposed to..ian's in there, but we really dont talk that much...i really really dont like govt...its horrible, i sleep a lot, and the people annoy me...AP is alright...its an english class...a subject ive never really enjoyed, but its better than most...art...i like art, its really relaxing to sit for 50 minutes and sketch or color or paint, or do whatever it is we're doing that day...i really dont know why i ever stopped sketching when i was younger...why did i box up all of my sketch books and put them in the attic?
we've been supposing to throw after school, but weather has been keeping us from it...we'll see if we ever do throw together, its a nice thought, really it is, but whenever it comes to carrying it out, we never seem as up to it as we previously were...i've gone by myself a few times in the last few weeks...i enjoy throwing by myself, i might go as far as to say i prefer it, but at the same time..i need someone else there to critique me...i need someone to point out what im doing wrong and give me pointers as to how i should go about fixing it...we'll see i guess
my birthday has come and gone...im 18 and i feel no different...i had a "surprise" party...i knew about it...they didnt do a very good jo at keeping it secret, but the thought it what counts, and it was very nice...something was lacking from it, and i know what it was, but im not going to go into it on here because i would a) insult a lot of people and b)feel badly about it later on, so on a completely selfish level, i shall keep that bit of info to myself
football season is over...marching season is over...i gave ian and adam a black and white photo i had taken at one of there games...they liked them, i wrote notes on the back..i thought it was a nice gesture...it hasnt reall hit me that marhing is over...i was expecting something more of a spectacular...something big emotional scene...but there wasnt one, i was ready to get out of there that night, and thats really sad...
i feel like we've all been playig this game lately where we take a step back all the time..and then a whistle will blow and some poeple will take a big step forward, but then start taking their smaller steps back again...its evil
we're going to johnny rockets tomorrow night!! that makes me so happy...
the past few days have been yucky, ive fallen into one of my 'i hat the world' moods, and everyone is really bugging me, its pretty bad, and ive been trying to keep my mouth shut, becuase i know i'll say something that will get me into trouble, thats how it always works
i had a good talk with ian the other night, i told him a lot of things that had been bothering me lately...they still bother me, but now that he knows maes it just a little bit better
i dont think it was me being a pessimist...i think that was the realist in me...that makes sense right?
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 16 October :: 10.01pm
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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