shiznit05
|
::
2003 30 November :: 5.48pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: charlotte's web
yes..this is exactly what i needed..these past four days have been great.
i went to visit doug at work on friday...got there at 4, and i left doug at about 1145..haha yay for day with doug! we hung out while he worked, then i went out to dinner with his family (that was very fun, i enjoyed the company) then we went to go see gothica..that was a sweet movie, i would go see it again, maybe i can talk ian into going to see it..hmm...anyway, after the movie megan met us (me doug sara and stevie) at pisos, and i called ian because he called me during the movie, but according to metcalf he had been bad and couldnt come out and play, i still dont understand that, but then doug and i went to get gas so i wouldnt get raped late at night, and i dropped doug off and ian called me and i talked to him the entire way home, we even passed each other once, it was funny, then when i got home i called doug so he knew i survived...its nice to know he cares :)
then saturday i went shopping..had no money though so i couldnt buy anything (bummer) then nick called so i went to his house and hung out with him jackie winston and stevie..that was very cool...it was just hanging out and playing life...so relaxing and very fun :) remind me to tell you that story sometime haha...hmm..then i went home, worked on my idea/quote list a bit and went to bed
went to church this morning..that was fun..i enjoyed it, then i watched how to lose a guy in ten days (my and winstons spouses are in it) and then i watched charlottes web and finished my idea/quote list...longest list i have ever made, but i think its ok..it should elicit some comments though
now i plan on watching another movie and going to bed at like 9 and getting ready to go back to school...oh how i wish i could relive this break again..i could go for another 4 days off..how many days until Christmas break???
4 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 28 November :: 3.22pm
:: Mood: i feel loved haha
Wel Thanksgiving was fun....food was good, company was great, and even though Bernard wasnt there...he still was kinda, i mean we still did everything the same way we always did, but no one really brought him up, but like i said, he was still there
then when i got home doug called and we had a nice long conversation, i dont think ive stayed on the phone for that long of a time with anyone...well maybe megan, but thats different, but i really enjoyed the conversation, i just hope it helped, even though i wasnt the one needing help..i felt better afterwards...
then today mom and i went shopping, and i started my christmas shopping for the girls, hopefully they like it...haha
then douggie called me on his way to work and we chatted for about 10 minutes...i get to go visit him at work today, thats always interesting, and i think after that im gonna go catch a movie with stevie...yay movie!
then about 20 minutes after i hung up with doug, megan call me on her way to work...im serious, i just feel loved, but we had a nice chat...shared out gossip since we lost a day lol it was interesting, i love that girl lol
i guess thats it, dads home now so i can get my truck back and visit douggie...i'll update later!
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 26 November :: 9.50pm
Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps
You won't admit you love me
And so
How am I ever
To know
You only tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
A million times I ask you
And then
I ask you over
Again
You only answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
If you can't make your mind up
We'll never get started
And I don't wanna' wind up
Being parted, broken hearted
So if you really love me
Say yes
But if you don't, dear,
Confess
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
If you can't make your mind up
We'll never get started
And I don't wanna' wind up
Being parted, broken hearted
So if you really love me
Say yes
But if you don't, dear,
Confess
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 26 November :: 9.44pm
:: Mood: i must be in a song mood....
Friend is a Four Letter Word
To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard,
Call me morbid or absurd,
But
To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard,
Call me morbid or absurd,
But
To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
When I go fishing
for the words
I am wishing you would say to me,
I am really only praying that
The words you'll soon be saying
Might betray
The way you feel about me
But to me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 26 November :: 9.39pm
"San Dimas High School Football Rules"
Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.
We hung out at the rainbow where we drank til' half past two.
Nothing could go wrong anytime that I'm with you.
Like crashing a hotel room or leading up to that first kiss
Or searching for a high school that you know doesn't exist...
These are the things that make me free
I feel like I'm stuck in "stand by me"
This night was too good to be true.
Today I woke up alone wishing you were here with me,
I wanted us to be something that we'd probably never be.
Today you called me up and said you'd see me at our show,
But now I'm stuck debating if I even wanna go.
Whitney, don't you understand that what I say is true?
I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.
I'd drive you to Las Vegas and do the things you wanna do
I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you.
I only wish that this could be
Just dump your boyfriend and go out with me
I swear I'd treat you like a queen.
good song....
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 26 November :: 9.37pm
"Broken Promise Ring"
I really wanna call you, but I know that it's not right.
I probably shouldn't tell you but I dreamed of you last night.
I guess I'm not prepared to say...
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again
Until next time that he goes away.
You told me that you loved me, I started tearing down those walls.
I really started to trust you but you set me up to take the fall.
I guess I'm not prepared to say...
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again
Until next time that he goes away.
I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love,
But you're still the one that I'm dreaming of.
I guess that it's you I want to hold onto,
But you're holding onto someone else.
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 26 November :: 9.09pm
:: Mood: ahh! break finally!
:: Music: the ataris
yes!! its break!!! no school for four days, i can sleep and do my idea/quote list for AS and eat turkey! i am so glad that it is break..honestly a break from school and from seeing certain people will be the greatest thing ever...its exactly what the doctor has called for...
last night was movie night with doug...and it was amazing! we watched X:2 with his mom and dad...i felt like part of the kolpien family :) and i cannot believe how much i had forgotten about the movie..and the ending still makes me very very angry...doug told me i was being stupid but i dont care! cliff hangers are horrible...grr..then when we left doug was telling me that next time we watch a movie together that carmen would like to join us...he was basically asking me permission, at first i joked and said no, but i told him that i didnt care...i mean carmen is a big part of dougs life and she is like a nano part of my life, and thats just screwy, so i told doug that i would be absolutely stoked to have her join us for a movie night...and i think my saying that completely made dougs day which makes me happy :) so now i can't wait until the next movie night, it should be a lot of fun
man, ive been feeling so unproductive lately...i think i need to be more active, maybe i'll get a gym membership with my christmas money...that would be fun...going to the gym every morning at 530...then going to school feeling like i had already accomplished something? that would be the day...plus it would help me get ready for track...ugh...i almost dread it but it will be a lot of fun...i always dread it though, and its really stupid to dread it because it always turns out to be fine, but idk, i guess i just want to do really well this year...you know? not have tucker complaining because the weight department is being stupid...hmm
well i emailed dani today...told her to get her butt up here to visit, hopefully she emails me back and i can see her soon...havent talked to her for awhile, and having her up here awhile ago was a lot of fun...so yes...manditory visit soon, hopefully over winter break :)
ahh...its the holiday season, i love Christmas, church is always great this month, everyone just becomes a little more cheerful than usual, and its just nice, idk im a big dork i guess, but i love it so i dont care
hmm...Thanksgiving is tomorrow..first one without Bernard...should be interesting, im scared, but it'll be ok, i have to get used to it sometime right? might as well be sooner than later...
so yea, i got rear ended the other day...girl behind me wasnt paying attention..good thing i had the truck, had it been my neon i probably wouldnt have a car, that neon is such a piece of shit...i feel bad that my dad has to drive it, but soon enough the truck will be payed off and then we can get something else :) but no damage in the accident to the truck, just this plastic thing was cracked and needs to be replaced, but its only sixteen bucks and she gets to pay for it...not to bad i guess.. at least it wasnt my fault
well i think ive rambled too long...Happy Thanksgiving everyone...be safe:)
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 22 November :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: no doubt's new song
im sleepy!!
well odu lost....its cool though, it was a really good game
the parade was this morning...longest thing ever, i am definitely not marching it next year...there's no way
3 more days of school, then break!! i cannot wait for this break, im going to sleep and read grapes of wrath, that sounds soo nice right now
school's been going ok, american studies has been great the past couple of days because they've just been work periods...chem is coming along fine, i had a study thing with james monday night for the test, math is easy and thats pretty much eat, life's been easy lately, i dont know what ive done to deserve it though
amanda told me i have to wear my hair down a lot more now..i should work on that
hmm....tuesday night! doug and i are going to watch X:2, im very excited :)
last night we hung out at megans and played scatagories...fun times..we really are a bunch of dorks, theres is not a cool streak in any of us, and hopefully we get to play life tonight, because that game is amazing and very funny...my dream husband is andy nicholas:)
well i guess thats it.....
3 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 18 November :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: im ready for break
Thanksgiving break needs to come right now. Im so ready for a break...from school...from friends...I still want to go out over break, but there are certain people that i dont want to see at all...i just need a break from them, its like everytime i turn around...there they are...its like go away! i want space! idk, maybe i'll stay home again this friday night...and hopefully this time sara and stevie wont come out..because when i say i want a night alone i want a night alone..away from everyone. i had a nice talk with megan after school tonight and i told her how i felt, we basically vented for an hour in her car, and she made me feel a lot better...i think i just need some time away, everything is getting to be a little too much lately, and im tired of having to deal with it...
this break really scares me though..Thanksgiving without Bernard? thats the scariest thing ever right now...i dont know how thats even going to work...is it going to be a meal filled with grief or are we going to act happy and remember that happier times, and laugh and be joyful? i wish i knew...
i did go to school today...wish i would have slept more but i didnt...i read grapes of wrath and watched some television, then went in for an SAB meeting, that was fun, cominghome should be cool...i havent decided if im going though...it will be fun, but idk...a night at home is so tempting right now...hell i think anything alone is tempting
4 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 18 November :: 11.56am
:: Mood: yucky
i think about him for 23 hours....wondering if the baggage we both carry could sink a ship...if it would work?, if we're even friends? and if we get along and argue for the hell of it? or if i should just give it all up and move on...then in the 24th hours i realize i had been thinking about him for 23 hours and all i got out of those 23 hours is there's just something about him
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 16 November :: 9.34pm
:: Mood: i dont like being sick...stupid father...
my dad has been sick the past few days...and now im sick, i dont like being sick
this was such a crazy weekend. i vowed to stay home friday night because plain and simple: i didnt want to go out. there was no reason for me to go out. so i stayed home, i had pjs on by 530 and a movie in, well sara and stevie came out, damn wenches, when a girl says she wants a night alone she wants a night alone, i dont get whats so hard to understand about that? then saturday i wrote my AS paper...4 freakin' pages, i think i rambled on too much, Mrs Dever wont be very happy about having to read it but she'll survive i promise:), then megan called me and we chatted for awhile and made plans to go see the play...congrats to everyone who had anything to do with the play, you all did an awesome job, and congrats to the crew for not dropping or breaking anything :). then we decided we wanted ice cream (we being me megs stevie and sara) so i called dunn and ended up talking to metcalf for 10 minutes..even though we didnt do a lot of talking haha anyway doug called he wondered what we were doing so he came and got ice cream with us (he gets the most disgusting stuff ever!) and he called carmen and she brought jackie, and then the 5 girls all went to saras and had a girls night...and it was an official girls night, we played life (very interesting) and then we fell asleep around 230 and i left at 730 to go to church
sunday doug called me after church and asked if i wanted to come into bg and watch "paths of glory" with him...i did, i had lunch with him too, his family is really nice, and his dad is cool, he asked how i tolerated doug :) the movie was very good though, i enjoyed its stupidity...all in all a good time with doug as always, except my feet were soo cold!! i did my idea quote list for the first 10 chapters of grapes...i really need to work on that :( other than that school's ok, and band is stupid...the end
3 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 14 November :: 4.15pm
:: Mood: mellow
ahh, what is this? i must be on an updating rampage, i dont think ive ever updated this often..
man tonight is gonna be great, its a friday night and i plan on seeing no one, i havent stayed home in a long time, and im honestly looking forward to it, the only way i'll go out is if a certain someone calls, but we'll just have to wait and see
im talking to doug right now...he seems to have a nice night ahead of him, he seems to be really happy with life right now, i hate him for that :) im just playin douggie, you know i luv ya, but yea im happy for him, i just hope i can find that nice balance in life where i can be happy :)
i had a nice conversation with megs today, its good to finally see her get angry about something, and she rightfully is getting angry, and im glad, this is something to get angry about and she doesnt normally show her anger, but then again who am i to speak?
hmm...i love how one thought can just make you smile...im happy :)
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 13 November :: 4.11pm
well i went and got a job application today...that was fun, hopefully this one works out because i really need some money, i feel so badly always having to ask my parents for money in order to go out, plus the fact i put no money whatsoever towards my car and i really should, i dont like being a mooch, so i really really want this job...i dont care if i have to kiss a social life goodbye...also Christmas is coming up and i never get really good gifts because i can never afford to give really good gifts, this year that really needs to change, now i realize that people say its the thought behind the gift that counts, but honestly what are you going to like better..a cheap piece of crap with thought behind it or a nice gift that works well and can be of good use with thought behind it? well we all know the answer to that...
today was ok, im getting annoyed by people really easily and i dont know what my deal is, i really should be more tolerant but its getting hard, i want to stay home tomorrow night and just veg, Lord only knows if that will happen though, people want me to go out, well too damn bad, i'll go out if something fun comes up but right now no one has any briliiant ideas so my answer's no, i like the idea of staying home, its entertaining
so megan wants me to get married now, that makes me laugh, i dont think i would marry him, thatd be too weird haha, but i can understand why she thinks we are cute together, hell i've heard that from like 5 people, and as egotistical as it sounds, i think we look cute and we act cute haha what can i say? he's never go for it though so i can dream, but thats probably as far as it will ever go
i was talking to amanda and angie the other day about track, im really excited about it this year, last year i wasnt really excited because i was stupid then, but this year im so ready, ive heard about two girls joining us, they're seniors, and they're bigger than me, but i dont care, i can throw 32 now, if they can hit that after taking two years off then they should be on varsity, they deserve it - but i really dont think thats gonna happen so 1st shot is mine :) and i'll take a 3rd year letter too
powderpuff has started..i havent been able to go to any of the practices though and i feel kinda bad, but im just gonna play center and noseguard again...so i think it should be ok, but hopefully we do a clean sweep this year, last year we only lost to the seniors so logically we should go all the way..that would be awesome
my mom went to the band meeting last night, shes gonna go to scotland with us so that will be very cool, im excited, it should be an awesome trip, basically its me and my friends going to scotland, minus the few who arents in bad...megan amanda stevie metcalf nelson and stretch, but they'll have eachother while we're gone, i dont know how long we're gone for...10 days? maybe? i dont really know i never read the letter all the way through
well we were supposed to have a girls night saturday night, but i dont really know if thats going to happen, because our location has been revealed so that has to be changed and i dont really know if it can be changed, so maybe we'll just call it off completely, amanda couldnt go to it anyway, so i dont know, as of right now i just want to say screw the world and just hang out with certain people this weekend - but we all know that will never happen, i never get to hang out with certain people, theres always others there, now dont get me wrong i like the other people, but sometimes the wrong combination = not a great time so yea
man ive been in such a funk lately, everynight before i go to bed i go through my cd collection and pull out the most depressing songs or the most romantic songs ever, im such a dork, i just dont get it
classes have been going well lately...i understand math - it couldnt be easier, chemistry is making sense plus we got candy todya whats not to like, spanish is fine and american studies isnt horrible...im getting everything in on time, im not behind and things are clicking in my head...remember english last year? nothing ever clicked, so it does...weird
there's been a slight improvement today...i only heard about the machine like 15 times, better than hearing about it every 5 minutes, i can't wait until that phase gets over with
thats it
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 12 November :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: aggravated
im so sick of hearing about the machine, i dont understand it no matter how many times metcalf and nelson try to explain it to me, i guess my vision is "clouded" i dont really know, hell, i'll just let them destroy this machine so i can stop hearing about it
i felt horrible this morning so i stayed home 1st and 2nd period, it didnt really help but oh well, i still had to go in because of the AS field trip. the trip was fun, looked at some art which is always a good time, tomorrow i'll start going to powderpuff, havent been able to the past three days and i feel kinda bad, but its all working out now
ever get excited about something and then have it all torn down by people that mean the most to you? i have
4 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|
shiznit05
|
::
2003 8 November :: 10.52am
:: Mood: im happy
thursday night was so much fun, it started out as a girls night with me amanda megan stevie and sara, we played operation, jenga, and life, life is amazing, that game is so much fun to play...the husbands, our houses, and our childrens' names...so much fun, then nelson and metcalf call wanting something to do, so they brought over tribond, and josh and doug came over...hardest game ever! but it was really a lot of fun, then we played some pictionary and then amanda and i left to go home...it was a lot of fun, we need to have more nights like that more often
yesterday was our capital university performance...we actually did ok, it all came together, it was fun, polaris mall is amazing and my mom and i are heading back down soon for a shopping trip, and lunch was fun, dinner was fun, so it really was an ok day, its just being in a dress for sooo long is kinda annoying, and the ride home seemed to take forever, and i got shafted and had to share a seat with ian...it wasnt bad, but i would really have liked to have had my own seat...oh well, i lived, i guess thats really all...todays saturday and i really have nothing going on as of yet...
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
|
|