shiznit05
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2003 26 May :: 8.55pm
:: Mood: im ok
wow its been awhile....
lets see..a lot has happened....
my parents left me for a weekend so i had a party out here, everyone came, and everyone had fun, that was a really really fun night...ended a little weird, but we wont go into that.
Schools been going fine, teachers dont seem to realise that its the end of the year, we keep getting more crap to do but eh, such is life. it'll all be over in 2 weeks.
track is now over, i ended the season horribly, but its ok, i had a good year, i improved a lot, and i'll work at it throughout the summer so i can come back next year and the league wont know what hit them.
ive been hanging out with friends a lot lately, and that has been great. i have felt so much better lately, and i dont really care about what i used to, im learning to be more carefree and its improved my life sooo much
i went to cedar point saturday.. so much fun, that new ride is sick. it is so crazy, so much fun...
i got my OGT scores....94.1 in reading, and 90.7 in math, not to shabby
well thats all
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 16 May :: 11.17pm
:: Mood: crappy
so yea...havent updated in awhile, no biggie though, no one ever reads or comments on this, so no one has missed it
yea so today was nlls...i threw a 28'4'', im ranked 7th in the league, frankly its horrible, and the coaches arent happy, im not happy, so im basically a big disappointment...
metcalf nelson and daron came up to see us...they all kind of flock together in a group...very annoying
ok now im going into vent mode, so i caution you, its ok to stop reading now...
ok, so metcalf, well i liked him, maybe i still do, not really sure, ive been really confused lately. mainly because of this, he is the biggest jerk ever when we're around people. if i even say something all i ever get out of it is some smart ass remark and a 'you're the stupidest person ever' look. this then makes me feel like shit, i shouldnt have to feel like shit, i dont deserve to feel like shit. so this basically has been what ive been dealing with for the past few weeks, so you can only imagine where my self-esteem is, i mean its pretty low, so low, that im starting to get to the point that i feel like ive become some sort of permanent annoyance for people, and i feel i should just leave everyone alone, and not talk to anyone. i think i should just leave ohio for an x amount of time, and i bet everyone would be fine, if not better. i mean does anyone actually benefit from me being around?
8 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 3 May :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: sooo happy
i saw xmen today. Holy shit, loved it!! they so set it up for a trilogy and the next movie needs to come out now! i cannot wait to see it, it was really good. i went to see it with mike and some of his friends and jack, we are all like really big fans of the comics and the cartoon, and we were so happy to see the movie, and so pissed because now we have to wait for the next one. it had the biggest cliffhanger ever, even though i already know what happens with the next story line...ahh..im so gonna marry like half of the xmen haha
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 25 April :: 11.07pm
:: Mood: pissed off
grr i hate people, lets get one thing straight, i do not love him, i do not have uncontrollable lust for him, i do not dream of marrying him, i have a crush on him, i like him, all teenagers go through this kind of thing! its normal! and over time it goes away! but noo lets make a big ass deal about it because its me, yea that makes me feel great, boy oh boy i feel loved
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 25 April :: 5.51pm
well my dad's contract passed. yay! made me happy, all things are better now except for the law suit but im ok about that now:). Im at saras right now, me megs sara and stevie are here....we're gonna go out to jackies tonight. this is sara now and i'm trying to show britt that the space bar really does work.
ok its me now again...the past few days have been a lot better than the beginning of spring break. According to all my friends, a certain guy and i have been acting more and more like a couple everyday, we just need to make it official, i wouldnt mind making it official but eh. i mean...a pillow fight, sitting on the tail gate of his car together, driving together to see a car...thats not couple things at all....right...
anyway...i think im gonna go, people are complaining that im writing a novel...they obviously dont read this very often because this is a pretty short entry
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 20 April :: 2.01pm
:: Mood: sad
yesterday started off soo well....then it all went to hell
two nights ago...its the first day of spring break...i wake up at 7, no surprise, i always wake up early when i dont have to. i spend the day by myself, it was fine, being alone helps me think. but anyway, later at like 4ish megs calls me and says we need to do something, but then my mom said my curfew was gonna be 9 b/c we had a meet the next day and i needed my sleep, well, megs proposed to stay the night at her house, so my mom agreed, and megs and i went to taras to visit her and see how she was doing, then nick and some others showed up and we hung out and ate pizza....fun times, megs and i had to be back by 930 b/c we had to be in bed by 10. We leave taras and 910 and get back to her house and her parents ask if we wanna color easter eggs...i havent done that in so long so i said yes!!! and we did about 20 seconds later the doorbell rings and megs and i ae like wtf? who would be visiting now?? we go out to the door..no one is there, they pulled the whole ring the doorbell and run...turns out it was herringshaw and dan...so we hung out and just talked to them for about an hour...we didnt get to bed on time, then megs and i stayed up even longer talking...that was cool, the next morning we wake up at 620 to get ready, i have the worst crick in my neck ever, i cried it hurt so badly, anyway to quicken this up...i had a 29'10'' in the meet....2 more inches and i could have gotten a steak dinner and 30 bucks....but eh, i'll live, but i hit my PR so i was happy...we leave the meet and on the way home metcalf is like whats up for tonight? and i was like idk what do you wanna do so we agreed to go see a movie, so we did....that made me happy...since he proposed it, maybe he finally is turning a new leaf and becoming social....i still dont get the spral thing though....but anyway herringshaw showed up at the end which made megs happy :)
i get home and mike is hear and hes like my old apartment building is sueing us b/c of some crap that went down with one of his roommates, but they all get sued because all their names are on the lease....along with the suit came a $5000 bill....that wasnt cool..especially now that my dad is going on strike and we're living off of one income...needless to say i wont be going out the rest of spring break...im gonna spend as little money as possible...i even considered quitting track and getting a job to help out, my parents wont let me, but it was a thought.
Happy Easter to all....
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 11 April :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: lots of stuff
Bobcat Relays are tomorrow! im excited, im hoping to finally break thirty feet and get enough credits for my letter:):)
We had the brat put today....all the throwers together, cooking brats and eating, it was great, i loved it, we should do it more often, and i didnt love it just because he was there....but he was one of the guys grilling....mmhmm.....lol
i stayed in tonight, felt kinda lonely...nothing was going on, and no one was online, which means everyone else had something to do, i felt like a loser. i was like, someone! get on and tell me something is up for tonight!! needless to say that didnt happen and i stayed in and watched While You Were Out on TLC...that carpenter guy's kinda hot, and he has an accent, and he can build stuff....yup....
anyway, tomorrow in the meet if i break 30 feet, coach is gonna take me out for a steak dinner, and hes gonna take adam out if he breaks 40...wouldnt that be nice if we both got the dinners? haha
anyway, i guess i should stop writing and get to bed, i gots to be rested for tomorrow so i can bust my PR
~Britt
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 8 April :: 6.55pm
:: Mood: content
nothing really big has happened lately...track meet was canceled today due to weather...i didnt really care, we still had practice. Im procrastinating doing my homework, its only math and spanish, but its the principle of the matter, homework sucks.
I was reading some random journals, and i have come to a conclusion, there are only two kinds of journal entries, there are the im happy and everything is great and let me boast about all my happiness kind of entries, and there are the journal entries about how life sucks, and how depressing everything is, and the people who sound suicidal and feel as if there is no hope for them in the world. I just read one entry from a guy who was depressed because it was the 5 year anniversary of the death of his girlfriend. The guy was also drunk at the time, he was drinking his sorrows away...God be with him in his time of need...
I dont know what my journals fall under, i dont think people really care anyway, no one reads this, no one ever comments, so i guess it really doesnt matter
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 29 March :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: disney all the way baby!
I went to herringshaws tonight....so did megs jacoby metcalf and sara....well and herringshaw but he was already there. it was fun, sara and i got there and no one else was there because jacoby doesnt know how to get anyway, metcalf needed a ride and megs was still in Toledo...jacoby was supposed to get metcalf but God forbid he understand directions, so i just said i would go get him since i knew where he lived...so i did and i got there and metcalf was like what the hell? you're not jaccoby, then i let him drive b/c i hate driving at night and he likes to drive all the time...so we get back out to herringshaws and jacobys there so we play with the potato launcher....it only worked half the time and by the end of the nigh it was broken...so we hung out in the new house...that was cool...except metcalf's eyelashes got burned off...well not really, only the tips of them, but thet was his fault...it looked cool when it happened though.
yea....tonight made things more confusing.
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 28 March :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: hmm
well jack's going out with nick now...yet another bet winner...stupid bet winners...i suck...i knew i shouldnt have gone out to jack's that night...at least im not the only one that sucks...thanx sara and megs...although megs could very easily be a bet winner (CLAP CLAP CLAP) haha sorry inside joke that never becomes unfunny hehe...
People keep telling me im close to winning the bet...idk..i hope so
i have to read this book this weekend...i hate reading..i really dont want to but i know i have to, maybe if the weather gets really bad and we lose power i will be forced to read...that'll be the day...
Jack said i made him flirt....he never flirts...what did i do to make him flirt....and with me?! not that i minded, but it would have been nice if i knew he was flirting when he was! why are people so oblivious when others find things so obvious? hmm isnt it ironic that ovblivious and obvious are spelled similar?
track meet for tomorrow was postponed until tuesday....great cant wait...watch me tremble with excitment...
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 27 March :: 9.02pm
:: Mood: confused
yea the last two days have been kind of confusing. I dont know whats going on, im confused and distraught and confused some more. I feel stupid, but then again im being a normal teenage girl. So i shouldnt feel stupid, right?
I feel like such a goob though. I mean i have been hopelessly flirting with him and i think hes been flirting back, but thats probably just my high hopes ganging up on me. I mean no guy has ever liked me, or at least no guy i like has ever liked me back? i mean, whats so wrong with me? i dont understand...so confused
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 20 March :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Track pissed me off so much today. It was maing my fault though, i was being stupid and screwing up and it was making me angry. And my coaches were pissing me off....they werent watching so they didnt know i needed help, and i didnt know what i needed help on because hello! i cant see myself. i mean its not their fault they werent watching...they were helping someone else...but for the whole two hours?! i finally started getting help by the last 20 minutes, but only between the helping of the same person...idk, im not angry that the person got the attention and the help, but then again...im still angry
oh yea...and this assistant coach guy...kenya or something...comes over to the shot circle..madaras was working with adam...and i was there too...but anyway, kenya comes over and is like 'so madaras do we have any good shot people' and he goes yup, right here if we can straighten him up a little more' and points to adam...and im standing right there! i mean, he doesnt have to striaght out say im great, because im not, but im not bad! i throw a damn 29 consistently! thats good for a girl! but nooo! the only good one we have is adam! because he can throw a 40...all hail the boy! honestly i cant help but think i was overlooked because im a girl. i hate that. i mean a little recognition for the hard work i do is all i as. im not asking to be bowed down too, but still....just make me feel like dirt honestly...i dont wanna say it, but it hurt my feelings...in a non second grade way...it actually made me feel like i do nothing and will accomplish nothing...and only because im a girl
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 15 March :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: aggravated
time for contemplation....
yea so its a beautiful day today and i have no one to spend it with. My parents are gone, my friends are being busy with their lives, and im sitting here...gazing out the family room window...thinking.
Thinking sucks.
Why am i alone? i should be out, doing something but no...too many things bother me...like i should stay home because parents will come home soon...or freakin gas money i need and dont have...stupid world causing gas prices to go up...i dont have a job, i should get one, i want one, but i cant work during the season, starting now my life will be consumed by track.
Track.
We lift a lot for track. We lift with the football players. i feel like im in the way up there. i always have to take weights off because im a weakling and they have to turn right around and put them back on. i feel like such an inconvinience to them..i dont know..its aggravating..
Fiddler.
Absolutely amazing. Every one of you guys did amazing...makes me wish i was a little bit more talented...in anything...
Tucker talked to me yesterday...he wants me to hit a 34...keep dreamin'
i feel like i dont do anything lately...im so under accomplished. im weak, not smart and not talented..dont have pity on me though, thats not what i need, its not what i want..
GTCTM finals were this morning...if God asked me for a test to show people they were stupid..id give hima copy of the test i took this morning..
i went to the doctor's last week to get my shoulder looked at...i have enflamesd tendons..meaning its gonna hurt and nothing can be done to make it feel better. i have to ice it after i throw and lift..so i went and got ice the other day, and i got ridiculed by some people...needless to say, i wont be getting ice anytime soon, if all thats gonna happen is me getting teased..
i gave up soda for lent..its been 11 days...longest 11 days ever..
sara said something enlightening last night...yea i know..scary...anyway..its scary to think you like someone else, when youve liked another person for so long..its different
anyway...i guess thats enough, you're probablt sick of reading...you probably didnt even get this far down...
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 9 March :: 6.10pm
:: Mood: grrrr
i hate english
i just finished typing my english paper...i really hate english, it sucks. im not gonna get a good grade on it, because they didnt really explain it, and it as assigned less then a week ago..so yea bad grade coming my way...
i had one of the most confusing weekends ever, but im not gonna type about it now, maybe some other time..
syph got a 1, concert got a 2 and frosh got a 1...we're going to states...whoo..more work...more having to wear uniforms..goo
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2003 1 March :: 4.22pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: instrumental
wow its been awhile..
nothing really big has happened...last night was girls night, but i dont know if you can really call it a girls night, it started out with all girls but by the end there were 3 guys there. sara tara me and jess got initiated last night into girls nite, which is stupid because ive been to like 4 or 5 and im just now being initiated? i kinda figured it out before it happened, because i guess ive been dubbed the logical thinking of the group. but i mena c'mon, you buy whip cream when we dont need it and ask the four of us to go run a errand and we come back to jackie looking out the window for us so i had sara walk in first to see if it was gonna be a right away jump attack or wait until we're all in the foyer to attack, well they waited so when i got in and went in fast i went straight to the kitchen while everyone else got it (tara got it the worst) finall stevie came to get me, and come on you guys think!! stevie is little and you put her against me! she got me a little then i took the whip cream from her and got her worse, i also cleaned up the fastest, i only got hit a little, tara had it everywhere and you could tell, it was funny looking, finally we ate and jack told us she was going to prom with justin, who i still dont know who he is..but anyway i tell everyone we should go dress looking so we go, and jackie you should get the black and white one! but then we go to DQ...good ol' DQ, and tara gets a call from winston, while shes talking to him, he and goph some to DQ and stand right outside the window looking at us and scare us, so no more GIRLS night, theres boys there, we hang out for awhile and go back to megs', we get there, and gophs car is there and he and winston are nowhere to be found, and we're scarred b/c we;re expecting them to jump out, they dont so we go inside, we go back out thinking gophs car is unlocked but then they're standing right there and they ruin our fun, so we stand outside b/c boys cant come in when parents arent home, so we shovel snow on taras car, then the other girls come back, they made some pitstops, and we're standing around looking like retards, and dan drives by, slows down and keeps going...we're like what? why didnt he stop? so i go upstairs to the computer and talk to him and im like, way to drive by and not stop, so i told him to come back and he does, and he cut his hair!! his nice afro is gone, its not bad looking so i guess i approve haha jk, so we're hanging out and i have to leave first because of my stupid curfew....i hate having to leave first all the time...grr..oh well another girls night tonight, hopefully no guys intrude...
3 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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