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2004 29 January :: 2.10 pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: School Library Sounds
10th Vs. 11th
I've been thinking a lot about shophmore year adn junior year adn just comparing the two. I like junior year so much better, and i must say the reason of this is probably my car. I mean i have so much freedom adn at the same time i have been restricted and not allowed to do things that i want. (it makes sense in my head so just live with it) This year i have three people i can trust no matter what, i mean im not afraid that htey wont be my friends two weeks from now adn im not afraid that im not up to par with them. Thats really good to know, its just good. hmm, im really weird, i expect those people to trust me with everything, but at the same time im hesitant when it comes to sharing my ideas adn what not. Oh, i wanted to compare the two years, k, junior year i have GOOD friends with limited freedom, sophomore year i realized that i didnt have anyone to really talk to adn i had more freedom than i do now, like as in how much my paretns trust me. I hate trust, its such a weird thing, i mean i dunno. You expect it but u dont give it away right away. And its really easy to loose. Im so glad ive made it thus far, you know, junior year its just good. i have friends, i have a job, i have a car, adn i only have minor issues that are bothering me right now because im not being as picky adn as ______ as i was and thats really important, it makes your life so much simpilier.
Life is just one damned thing after another.
--Elbert Hubbard
"Those who stand for nothing fall for anything."
-Alexander Hamilton
We are the hero of our own story.
--Mary McCarthy
~i dont like the really long quotes, cuz sometimes they drag on, but theres one by einstein on the cup in mr. ravenscrafts room. i like it. go chekc it out if you can.
yasamin
any ideas? |
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2004 17 January :: 6.15 pm
:: Mood: LaLaLaLaAHHHHHHHH
Yea, i need to write a journal entry so it would get the weird one out, but i dunno. i dont have anything to takl about. Oh, i messed my check ordering thing, im an idiot i know. Finals were ok, well not really i didnt study for any of them so it was like OH shit, i knew i shuda studied, and now im worried that i gots a F- on my us history final::crosses fingers for a F:: Yea, im tired. I gots to leave work early again, i feel bad though, during the week htey only have 2 ppl work till two, but on the weekends they have like 3 b/c i have to work adn they dont exactly trust ill do a good job, but i probably wont work there over the summer, hopefully. Im excited, im going to work all summer but its going to be like work and learn. I really wanna get into that summer program, it would be a ton of fun, not really but i really wanna get into it, i know its going ot be two hours every other day just to get there but hey who knows maybe ill discover a short cut. Im done. Ill talk to you later, i hope u ugys r havin fun in where ever you are now. oh, anyone want to do something on monday give me a call! I need to get out of the house. I gots a straightner, but its too much work, so the back of my head stays curly, its queit interesting. Ok, i hope u guys have a good day, and please shop at CVS pharmacy when it opens in Mundlein, i MIGHT work there. Itd be fun, id be like _ _ _ _ _ is on birth control, called Yasmin. Ofcourse that would be in my head cuz if i tell itd be technically illegal. GASP. ok. i wrote more than i thought i would.
Does your brain ever stop thinking????
any ideas? |
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2004 4 January :: 7.56 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: B96
Jorie's Quiz's
SCHOOL IS TOMORROW, IM SAD!
Quiz One:
Strawberry-Syrup Milk! Sweet and Pink...too girly
for me...know what though? you should put some
strawberries on one of those toothpick sword
things...hm...
What kind of milk are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Quiz Two:
Hot Topic. Hm [i love it! it has JTHM
stuff!]...dark...i like it...you might want
some lights tho...
What Store Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
THat was unexpected! I wanna be walmart, im disappointed. Ghetto Walmart, where i buy my ghetto duck tape.
any ideas? |
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2003 18 December :: 12.06 pm
:: Mood: tired
tODAY
Hey, so i finished by term paper and i am ecastic (sp?) no not really, im just sorta mellow. I think it sucks but its a paper and the important part is that it is done. But nowi have to study for my french quiz on the imperfect, oh i hate hate hate hate it. GRR. ive been in french for a long time since seventh grade btu still to this day i dont know hwo to use it or when and how to conjugate it, i feel like such an idiot im not kidding. I mean maybe if i had not tired i wouldnt care btu i did try. Yea im goin gto sleep soon.
The whole thing with the pictures is killing me. I feel like its all my fault. GOD DAMN, parents if ur kid rebels u cant beat the shit out of them they will just continue to rebel. Why do I have tobe in the middle of this???? Im so scared that my paretns will find out, omg if they do i would just... i dunno, i wouldnt have a choice in doing anythign. I hate being in the middle of this. Why me??? God darn it. its so much pressure and i dont do well under pressure. I have to keep two friends by telling the truth, and the truth aint pretty,but i cant lie, and i wont it makes no sense to lie. When somone says who called perons, dont u assuem the first person who called them but no, me being stupid just assumed first person u have to assume secone adn third adn fourht adn fifth. GRR. I need a break, i cant wait till this week is over. I hate being hte person who causes ppl to get beat up, and i didnt mean to do anything, i just shuda said no. Thats all NO. I hate this, i really do. I wanna get out of this. I guess reputation is the most important thing u have in this world, thats the thing thats keeping me out of that circle. Im so worried. i hope they dont find the pic with me in it, i hope narmeen rips it up, plz do grl. Yea do. Its all my fault.
any ideas? |
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2003 12 December :: 2.31 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: School
People adn journal entries
Everyone updates their journals durign school and around 1-2 pm. i think its funny. So ye ai joined the trend this is the only tiem i have to update my journal cuz i never do i am a loser. so im gettin better at debating at lunch, i dont think i debated any today, im proud of myself. its a really hard habit to kick (get off, i dunno the word quote thing for it) so yea, i mean 2 yrs of lunch w/jorie, its rather difficult. So nothing is new with me, i wanted to take pics of u guys (ppl from school) but no were too cool, cuz no1 gives me thier pics and i dont 10 yrs from now to be like wait, did i have friends in high school other than ....? (depends if we still hangout ten years from now, i know of atleast one) yea, i have six picsleft, i think im goign to finish them today (khadijah's b-day) or take pics of my family and nature. LaLaLaLaLaLa, hmm "its raining men, hallajuah its raining men" yea thats song is stuck in my head now. i wish i had time to read, i wish i didnt watch as much tv. i mean i can change those things but im not good at doing things like that. NOPE. i think i say "u know what" too much, i cant help it. its like Sup? but i never have an answer adn ppl r like ur a loser. Oh, i tired to straighten my hair, i failed, i gave up on the back adn the front looked good but then u got a big poof in the back. yea i knwo this is useless stuff. i need to know how to make my journal look pretty. ill do that later. Adios, ive got 4 minutes.
any ideas? |
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2003 9 December :: 11.58 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: 1035
Crying
Have you ever felt like you just need to cry? Just to change yourself, sort of to cleanse/clean your soul? Thats what i want and need to do right now. But i cant. i wont let myself do it. im stupid like that. i sorta talked to melanie about it but not really. my life seems so empty, like i joined the rat race. moneay through friday go to school and then come home. Saturday go to work then do h/w. and sunday go to school and h/w. and i cant do anything right, no one is happy. Yasamin ur late, come on yasamin what is this, ur a bitch, can u do this for me, plz. my answer is SURE, W/E U WANT! i need to change, or else just have a good cry. But i wont i refuse, crying shows a weakness, a weakness that u shud never ever reveal to anyone. ppl confuse me when they cry and r like in the middle of the hallway, i mean if its b/w friends tis ok. i mean i think i can cry in front of some people but not many, like then can help me. but crying infornt of people is just not necassary. Yea just my thoughts, im going to sleep. Night
yasamin
1 smart person |
any ideas? |
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2003 4 December :: 12.22 am
:: Mood: content
my weekend
i like the word content, its really cool. cuz ur not happy or sad and ur not stressed or worried ur just content, like ur happy about giving up but at the same time sad taht u gave out and those opposite charges (physics) cancel out.
last week was fun. tuesday i missed school adn i got to go to eid prayer and tehn we had breakfast, this one lady at the restraunt was like "i feel like im in a different country" so there were quite a few of us, teh lady possed me off, so they all wear scarves, ur still in the same country...its just grrifying. i got ot hang out with the older girls they were all like so whatu doing in college and such (stupid high school student) but it was fun hangin out with them cuz i was sorta included, they be the cool arab ppl. then i came home helped my mom cook for the party, did my APUSh h/w. then i wetn to another party at Marwa's house, i talked to layla which is cool, shes ok. O ppl made plans for me again. I need a personality.
Wed. i wetn to school 1-5, and it was really funny how everyone was like u look so different, i luv ur hair. it was just a confidence boost. quote of he day "are you yasamin's sister?" "um, i am yasamin mrs. krumpack" Fun stuff, then i went to my mom's party adn hung out with my cousin. then we wetn to the civic center, and hung out ( i think i gave ppl eid presents) adn then i met a grl from utah (she had a cool accent) adn then i went home
Thursday: I wetn to gurnee in the mornign but it was closed (everything was closed) so we decided to go to Denny's adn khadijah called eddie adn came w/friends, it took them such a long tiem. and when they came i wanted to hang out with george but layla was like i want to GO. i was like, shit i have the car so i have to take her, so i took her. Oh i caught noor adn khadijah dkanoon again and i was pissed, but i wanted to try it so i did, try everything once, and only once. i dint like it and im going to make noor stop, she doesnt need to end up like my dad. Then we checked another mall adn it was closed so we stopped at the parking lot and "chilled" i got bored so i started driving my car, then i let ppl drive i was scared. then i went to my cousins' house and chilled with her 2nd cousins, who just moved to the U.S., tehy also had an accent
Friday: I gots in trouble. i wetn to gurnee with them again, this time we actualy went into the mall!!! we met up with mario, but before that i wanted to go to a store and look at the stuff, i went to all their stupid stores adn looked adn they wouldnt go into mine and i just got pissed. that ruined the day. adn then Khadijah adn noor left us to go look for mario, we spent a fucking hour and a half looking for them cuz mario didnt have a cell so they couldnt call us. i picked up my dad and went back to gurnee and ignored my parents million fone calls andso i gots in trouble (aboua thrabnee 3 times) gave my grandma her eid present she liked it (she requested a presetn for remberance)
Saturday: i worked then hung out with my cousin, we went to the mall and met up with noor adn layal, bitched at noor for soemthng, GRR
Sunday: Chilled i did absoletly nothing, i needed a break
any ideas? |
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2003 27 November :: 11.17 pm
:: Mood: blah
QUIZ
any ideas? |
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2003 26 November :: 12.42 pm
:: Mood: anxious
Humans
Humans are weak (all the genetic diseases that we dotn have any control over) and evil (witchtrials) adn Stupid (witchtrials).
3 smart personsmart people |
any ideas? |
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2003 24 November :: 12.48 am
:: Mood: awake
My life
I really havent actually posted in this journal in a really loooong time. yes five minutes. Nothing really changed, i have been fasting for a month or so. Its almsot over. its a good and bad thing. Eid is coming up on tuesday, u guys should get me presents!!! OH, i gotta henna. i told the girl i wanted flowers, what did i get? Hears, triangles, and swirley things. I even paid this year!!! work is ok, nothing new, i mean i havent done much and i honelty dont care. Oh, about viral, i dunno if i wrote about htis or not. But i think im over him when i hang out with him i sorta like, but hes got really really ugly feet, they are heideous!! Yea, um school is ok, nothing really except all my grades are going down. I mean u dont do ur h/w for a week and u fail, who knew who knew. ive been hanging out with noor alot, so i sorta have a best friend but not really. we talk all the tiem and such. and im becoming better friends with jackie and melanie, good thing. but i really havent talked to jorie or melissa in a LONG time. so u 2 if u read my journal, we shud hang out. Sunday school is a pain. those girls are so GRRR, its annoying, i love them all but i cant stand being in a class with them, they are so disrespectful. the poor teacher has a headache adn all they do is scream. those teachers volunteer their sudnays to help the girsl, adn they dont respect that, its probably cuz their parents r teachers too. Oh, if i complain about stuff alot and u get annoyed tell me and ill stop. i realized that i rant alot, like a lil kid, and thats not cool. So be like yasamin u compalin alot avout this and it annoys me. if doenst then keep ur mouth shut :) Adios amigas. Ramadan is almost over, icant believe ti. tis sad.
any ideas? |
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2003 24 November :: 12.37 am
:: Mood: blah
Another survey
| Life | | Whats your name?: | Yasamin | | How old are you?: | 16 | | Whens your birthday?: | March 29th | | How many siblings?: | 3 | | What grade?: | Junior 11th | | GPA?: | 3.4 | | Pets?: | nope | | What school do you go to?: | VHHS | | Do you like this school?: | yes | | Friends | | Who is your best friend?: | no one really lots a good friends | | How long have you been best friends?: | most of them 1-5 yrs. | | How many close friends do you have?: | 5 | | Which ones can you tell everything to?: | close friends r the ones i feel i can tell them everythign so itd be 5 | | Who is the nicest?: | Khadijah | | The funniest?: | Patrice | | The prettiest?: | Noor (cuz shes so self consious) | | The most pigheaded?: | MOI ( i dunno i dont think any ofme friends r ) | | The tallest?: | Melissa | | The shortest?: | patrice or ashley | | The smartest?: | jessica | | The most secretive?: | all of tehm in a sense | | Which one of your friends would you like to see more of?: | susie | | Less of?: | no one | | How long have you known your best friend?: | 1-5 yrs for close friends | | You | | What color is your hair?: | black | | Eyes?: | brown | | Long or short hair?: | long | | height?: | 5 feet 4 inches | | Fav. food?: | rice | | drink?: | milk | | color?: | black | | sport?: | batmiton | | Book?: | DOnt let me die and Good earth | | tv show?: | One tree hill | | person?: | fav person? gotta say noor only cuz i talk to her alot, otherwise itd be a tie so ppl talk to me! | | Who is your idol?: | no one, i sorta am not looking up towards any one right now | | why?: | cuz ppl disappoint | | Random | | were you the one who took my spork?: | maybe | | Ne mette pas ton chat dans le micro-oden: | out, il ne faut pas mettre le chat dans le micro-oden. | | because you reall shouldn't: | oui |
xXBrokenLillyXx's .... surveyah brought to you by BZOINK!
any ideas? |
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2003 24 November :: 12.18 am
:: Mood: cold
Survey
| current clothing: | my purple pig pj's and my class of 01 shirt | | current mood: | tired | | current taste: | my mouth feels yucky, the after taste of milk | | current hair: | ponytail (tis still wet) | | current annoyance: | my brother making me read his research paper and asking me to do it for him | | current smell: | my room? | | current thing you ought to be doing: | my h/w yes tis 1100, i shud start | | current jewelry: | nothing | | current book: | just finished scarlet letter | | current refreshment: | as in drink? then milk | | current worry: | h/w | | current crush: | no one, im sorta falling out of crush from someone | | current favorite celebrity: | Ben Affleck (there was a show about him and so i watched, tis the only reason) | | current longing: | sleep | | current music: | nothing, but in a fwe minutes its going to be B96 | | current wish: | that i dont have to go to school, and my paper and h/w would magically do themselves | | current lyric in your head: | go shorty its ur b-day, some1 was singing it | | current makeup (if you're a girl!): | eyeshadow (its not coming off) and mascara | | current undergarments: | underwear and bra | | current regret: | i ddint buy anything we i went shopping and am not diong my h/w | | current desktop picture: | its a really cool pic, its a castle | | current plans for tonight/weekend: | to do my h/w and sleep by one | | current cuss word du jour: | female dog (me and this girl were saying it during sunday school, yea she was a fatherless female dog) | | current disappointment: | myself | | current amusement: | my disorganization | | current IM/person you're talking to: | melanie | | current love: | nobody, but im currently in love with milk ( been drinking alot of it, i might be addicted!) | | current obsession: | my weight | | current avoidance: | safa (not purposely but purposley) | | current thing or things on your wall: | the posters for the shows ive done | | current favorite book: | Dont let me die or The good earth ( no imagry in those books) | | current favorite movie: | nothing really |
currents!@*&!*@&^& brought to you by BZOINK!
any ideas? |
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2003 9 November :: 10.21 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: B96 ~ this song sucks, ill change the channel soon
Quizzes
Darn u jorie, i liked some of the quizes that u took, so i be taking them. Just a few of the ones with the pictures :)
! You are most like An Emerald !
Caring, giving, - and very emotional. You're the
person
people turn to with a problem. You worry about
everybody,
and genuinely want to help - a little too much
sometimes.
As an emerald, you tend to take a more backseat to
the other
gems, but your inner beauty soon captivates those
who take
the time to get to know you.
Congratulations ... You're the selfless gem
everybody needs as a friend.
?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Most Like The Season Spring ...
Fresh faced, with a young outlook on life - you
smile at the world and expect it to smile back
at you. You're mostly a bubbly, fun - innocent
person. Described as cute possibly. However,
you're a little naive about things and tend to
be a little too trustworthy.
As the first season, It Makes you the youngest -
and so most immature - but people are inclined
to look out for and protect you.
Well done... You're the most fun of the seasons :)
?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Aphrodite/Eros
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I dont agree with half of them, but hey im a vampire!
1 smart person |
any ideas? |
::
2003 5 November :: 10.57 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: B96
lkadjf eondklsaf eji
I think im going to blow up. I dunno why, it just feels like it. Like im loosing friends (my arab amigas) like i cant relate to tehm anymore and i gave up on trying. Its like everytime i try to talk to them or saying anythign its like NO, i dont wanna talk to u. I was trying to talk to one of them online the other day, and i couldnt get a convo going, so i just gave up and i was like AHHH, and i blocked her. Its easier that way. Then teh other one just changed so much, before she was all like nice adn friendly but now shes turned into an evil bithc, and i dotn want to loose her as a friend. I think i already lost her but i cant do anything more, ill survive. OMG Khadijah's leaving, shes really going to california, im going to miss her so much. I havent takled to her much, but omg i mgoing to miss her and her sister. Shes someone who knows whats going on and isnt stupid. Knows right from wrong adn gets ppl personality but she doesnt always do the right thing. Im gonna miss her mucho. Ramadan started, i love this month. Its liek teh best time of the year, i just feel so 'clean'. i need to define my boundries. Yes, its a thought btu if i knwe what i wanted adn where i wanna go then wouldnt i make the right choice and not go through the whole thinking process? Um, lets start with friends. Have freinds but not "best friends" or ppl liek that cuz htey ALWAYS disappoint u one way or another. Guys: no need, ill just go to Iraq adn find a guy there. Religion: Be me, learn more about what i want ot learn, do the whole sunday school thing, adn TRY to pray 5 tiems a day on tiem. Work: go to work learn and come back. School: i want and need straight A's ( i shud do my lit h/w). Brother: I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. hes such a freaking jackass adn he knows it. Ppl r liek why do u let him treat u that way? I know him, hes not that bad. Ignore him maybe? no i cant do that, ive tried it never works. Just deal, fight when i have to fight, and ignore when i can ignore. Paretns: just listen to them, dont say what u think or believe ull get knocked down. HOuse: just clean what u want and dont celan what u dont want. Hmm, im probably missing osmething. i dotn feel like im going to explode anymore. PHEW. Ohh, i watched this islamic show, it was decent, i saw for like the fisrt tiem in my life a cute arab guy ( his nose was of decent proportions). One of the signs of the day of judgement is a rose in the sky. Well some people think they saw it, u guys have to be willing to see it. http://www.dr-umar-azam.com/aspects_of_islam/
1 smart person |
any ideas? |
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2003 3 November :: 1.12 pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: IRC sound
really good quote
see i was rereading my entries last night, just to see what chnaged in me and like i was OMG, the chnage within a week was like WOOOO. Yea, so anyway i reread myideas on perfection, and this quote came up today so im writing it:
"I have always been waiting for something better – sometimes
to see the best I had snatched from me."
--Dorothy Reed Mendenhall
2 smart personsmart people |
any ideas? |
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