mudpiegrl
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2004 21 June :: 2.40pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: "Take My Picture"~Filter
last night i cried.
i cried because neils leaving...but also because of what he said to me
it made me so happy
i asked him if he thinks its possible we'll get married and he said he was thinking about it a lot too
"You're the kind of girl I want to come home to. Melanie and Sandy and all them are lots of fun to be around but you would make the house warm. Like if i came home from a long day at work and you'd be sitting the on the couch watching tv or soemthing and hearing your voice ask how my day was."
it made me cry. i feel soo loved by him.
i was thinking about my childhood and realised how horrendously forgotten i was...but i was so happy by myself being independent i didnt even notice til now.
6 smart personsmart people |
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toki
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2004 20 June :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: Burnt
A message from the beach
Ow. My stupid medicine stuff that makes me more able to be burnt....it sucks!!! Owwwwww! :-(
Well, I'm still at the beach. Don't get too excited. Not as bad as I imagined, but still...urgh. I don't know. I think I should just stay away from online journals. They make me want to be home more. I know I'll get back though and have to work alot and no one will want to spend time with me anyways. Whatever dudes. I'm just very....not happy right now. But that's been common on this trip. I kinda just want to sit down with someone and talk. Not about anything, but the extent of any conversation here has been "that guy is cute..." or "look at my tan..."
Ergh. Hmm....good things, eh? You want to hear good things??? Okay. Here goes. There was a cute guy at the pool today. Very Hanson-esque. Yasamin leaves me voice messages..hehe. They're funny. Make me laugh.
We were driving today and saw this one cat...we stopped but my mom wouldn't let us stop...then we saw a mom and three babies and 2 other cats...my heart was breaking. Poor kitties. :-(
A 20-year old walked up to me at the beach and was all...woosh woooosh...but he saw I was young...and he turned away. It made me laugh.
Umm....okay. Good bye dudes. It's been a par-tay. See ya.
-Patrice
2 smart personsmart people |
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goose
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2004 19 June :: 10.08pm
gah work is no fun, i work from 2-10 and always have to stay until 11 at least, but here's the awesome part the other day one of my managers told me she lost my availability andi need to fill out a new one, so guess what i told her i cant work weekends just cuz i dont feel like it hehee im awesomei know! so now i automatically have every weekend off and next week i work monday 10-5 and thursday 12-5 its so sweet! hehehe! i love it!
so im at my dads house, and my dad left to go see the chicago and earth, wind and fire concert which made me laugh so hard because thats where spencer is right now hahah. maybe they'll see eachother. i almost went cuz my dad was at this party this morning and got all...weird and came home and crashed, but then he didnt and he went...:( oh well. so i dont know what else to say nothing else it going on...is it? guess not.
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mudpiegrl
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2004 19 June :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: amused
another update:
Roseprincess1826: just so you know, im not trying to steal neil from you, believe me, i would never want to hurt you like that! its just, im going away for the whole summer, and when i get back, hes going to be going away, so i dont know if ill get to see him again so i wanted to spend time with him. in my jounal i wasnt trying to mock you, im sry if you got that impression... i felt really bad for you.... i mean, u hadnt seen him in a while.... i am going to try my hardest to not be as flirty with him, if thats what you want... i really dont want to go away with you so upset with me like this, cause im not sure if ill have the best time at camp or not knowing that when i come home, ill have someone pist at me.... so please, could we try to start things all over again, try to make it all better?
Auto response from battlestarre: C H I C K E N ! ! !
Roseprincess1826: i wouldnt even want to go out with neil, hes more of the best friend type for me.... a big brother, my cousin... whatever you want to think of it as... hes just a lot of fun to be around, i have a good time when he's around... i dont know... i just dont want you to think that my goal in life is to take him away from you
5 smart personsmart people |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 19 June :: 1.23am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: velvet revolver
an update:
Currently Watching
Everybody Loves Raymond - The Complete First Season
By Ray Romano
see related
nothings wrong with my ear! thats always a good thing for me! Im so glad that im leaving now! get away from all the shiz that is going on here! there are just too many people that are either pist at me or pissing me off. blair- i know i cant run and hide forever, but the whole summer is a long time for people to calm down! woo hoo only 3 days left till i get to go to my most favoritest place in the world, OSRUI!!
yeah, so today i went to the movies to see the terminal. that was a good movie, it was just sooo long!!! but still good. afterwards i went over to blairs for a bit with her, jen, shroom, and campy. there we ate frosting... yummy and waved at cars passing by.... then we were going to go to neils house to hang out... cept i wasnt invited, and it wasnt neil who said no... it was jorie.... o well, she can calm the freak down while im at camp! get the hell over whatever her problem is with me!
o well, i really have to go and get packing!! happiness and kisses to all (or at least most people).
Posted 6/18/2004 at 7:01 PM - email it
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1 Comment this is me
alright you want to know the issue...
you see, i havent been around to notice...which is half the issue...but the other half is that you seem to be obsessed with neil
and i honestly dont hate you or dislike you or anything of the sort...in fact...i expected you to come over...it was jen who said dont.
now i dont really care if you like neil or all that...believe me ive had this issue before...but this time its not neil im worried about.
it's you.
yea...i dont sugar-coat things.
like i said i dont dislike you...but it seems like you are trying to steal neil from me.
whether you are or not...it seems like it...
and that bothers me.
especially with you spending more time with him than me...
and reading your journal...it sounds like youre mocking my being upset that night at the park
i dont know...thats what i feel...whether you accept it or not...
just keep in mind...ive been going out with him for a year...stacey wanted him...jackie wanted him...goli seemed a threat...as did melanie at one time...and you see, you are the fifth...and most likely not the last.
i pray of you...please do not overdo your closeness with him.
2 smart personsmart people |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 18 June :: 12.41pm
so ive been playing around with the html
look what ive learned
if i wanted all this indented...i could....its a B.L.O.C.K.Q.U.O.T.E. and using this you could type in long ass quotes like in papers .....you know the ones that are more than three lines long....yay....
also that if i had
several
things
to
list
i could.
or even
if i
felt
like
bullets
suited
the
list
better
i could
okie sorry....i got excited....
2 smart personsmart people |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 17 June :: 2.09pm
:: Mood: surprised
:: Music: michelle branch
so goli called me right as i was about to take my shower
"you made ragtime"
one of those things that takes three weeks to hit you
but surely enough...opening the mailbox, a tan envelope was sitting there with my name on it
and the first line read clearly...although i read it about seven times before continuing the letter...
Congratulations! You have been selected to be a part of the 2005 Illinois High School Theatre Festival All-State Production Crew for Ragtime.
i dont know how i feel quite yet...
i didnt want to make it because i had sooo much fun last year even with everything that went wrong...
i was looking forward to having a room of five with sandy and trix and jackie and jill again...it would soo much fun getting hot chocolate and macaroni after hours with jackie
and the pillow fights with applehead and everyone...
even the tears that fell were fun in a way, because it showed how much we really cared for each other and how fast we overcame things in order to have fun.
here's a list of people that made it:
VHHS
Goli Rahimi-cast; ensemble
Jorie Moore-crew
Christine Nadrowski-crew
Ashley Grebe-orchestra; violin
Aaron Kibbler-orchestra; horn
Elizabeth Riggs-orchestra;violin
Sam Rothstein-orchestra; clarinet
LHS
Katie Phillips-cast; ensemble
Daniel schory-cast; ensemble
Tim Try-cast; ensemble
Relyn Aguero-crew; costumes
Laura Mohs-crew
CHS
Jessica Harling-crew; costumes
Steven Meyer-crew
yea...none from stevenson or mundelein
i cant tell you how not happy i am that ill be working with ms. jessica harling.
6 smart personsmart people |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 15 June :: 2.20pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: ::shrugs:: radio?
i dont understand!
okie so this is mostly for sandy and goli, because you guys are probably the only ones who can possibly answer this...
how come everytime neil does something with rachel and blair, im not invited?
even if he tells me...its like "oh today im going bowling with rachel and blair and sandy and goli"
sorry...no matter how much i trust neil, its not easing anything.
so if you could please help me...
i dont know
bah...this is dumb...
8 smart personsmart people |
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goose
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2004 13 June :: 4.37pm
hmm poopy jill not updating or being on line in a long time. i had lotsa things to say but now...i cant remember,
i did the relay for life the other day, im joining a team next year and spending the night. its crazy insane out there, but everyone is really nice and happy :)
hmm so bennys party and fire party, its 3:30 and my fire is still burning by the way. la de da not much to comment on that burned school papers i still have lots so we'll do it again soon ok?
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mudpiegrl
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2004 12 June :: 12.01am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: a perfect circle
fucking boyfriends
i waited for him...okie i had a friend over ...i went to her house...he had orientation...and then miscommunication...
its all fine...
until crying girlfriends get put after video games.
"ok, we might make an appearence"
he showed up
at my house
convinced me (i guess) that he was/is sorry for being really selfish...
yea....adios..
3 smart personsmart people |
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toki
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2004 11 June :: 1.30am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Harry Potter
Somewhere I Belong..(Stuck in my head)
Last entry for two weeks. Sorry all you readers. No prying into my head for a while. :-(
Not looking forward to vacation. I'm confused. I quit alot of things though that were bugging me. My attitude, feelings towards people. Sometimes it's just better to give up. Dreaming is good for a while but everyone has to face reality.
So I hope things work out for everyone. I want to see you all happy when I get back. Because drama is bad and so is crying. Enjoy the time you have here, it's limited. Live in the moment. I don't know, its hard to do. But try. Be content with things. I love you all to death.
Hmmm...I'll have my phone the whole time ;-) Which has text messaging...::double wink:: leave me a message or call me at night sometime. I'll need human interaction. Well, good night and good bye all. :-( I'm gonna miss you dudes.
Night,
Patrice
3 smart personsmart people |
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toki
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2004 8 June :: 12.32pm
Goo dMorning Peoples
Hmm..so last night I talked to lotsa people. It was fun. I like people. They can suck at times, but overall they're ok. Yay people!
I think my brother has a crush on Corny. Everytime he sees my scrap book...Yay! It's Corny bean! O.o;; Kinda creepy.
I want to be outside today. So I'm gonna pack...clean and go otuside. Par-tay dudes. Have a good day.
-Patrice
any ideas?
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toki
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2004 8 June :: 1.00am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: I'm Still Here
Watching Glue Dry...
It's exciting. Lemme tell you. My cat's on my lap. It's really hot. ::dies:: anything else to say? Hmm.. I don't know. Well bye.
any ideas?
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toki
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2004 5 June :: 4.47pm
:: Mood: indifferent
Summer Days
Summer....most people love it. And trust me, the idea of no school is great. But wait..nope...I have school this summer. I dont know, I've ALWAYS been one that has hated summers. Summers, for me, define what I think of the next year. Summers are the points where I notice most change, even though they're only two months long.
For the past...six years..I've spent almost everyday of summer alone in my house. Last summer I got out once or twice a week, at the most. Kinda sad compared to your everyday out having fun summers. It's sad when you can remember everything you did the past summer, because you really didn't do that much at all.
What can I do though? I'm dreading this summer, and I know dreading something makes it worse. I don't want it to be here. I don't want to be left alone in my house again. But it's all my fault, I should call people. So don't get pissed at me and tell me I'm being a bitch and blaming others. I just...I don't know. If people wanted to spend time with me, they'd call me. ::insert yelling fit here::
I don't know, this summer I'll try to keep a good attitude. I'll make sure that even when I'm alone I make my day worth it. I'll try atleast. I don't want to spend another summer crying.
It's just kind of weird, isn't it? Those who complain about never getting called never call others who never get called. Oh well. It's the way the world works. There will always be one left alone. I'll volunter.
-Patrice
I know it's only the second day of summer. But I can't help it. My trust in people has kinda died over the years. I apologize.
6 smart personsmart people |
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toki
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2004 4 June :: 11.38pm
:: Mood: sick
My stomach hurts. It feels like someone's taken a knife and is twisting it in circles. :-( I hate being sick. Hopefully it's just something I ate. I did have caffeine today. I don't usually feel too good after that. That's probably it.
any ideas?
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