runningfreak
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2007 2 January :: 6.34pm
:: Mood: Relieved
Finally....
To be six hours away from my everyday life allows me to somewhat forget about the worries that bog my mind when I am at home. I have thought about them at certain points today but for the most part I have just enjoyed being here, just living without a care or a responsibility. I needed this. I needed to get away from my thoughts. Being in the city has allowed my mind to consume all of what I am not used to. In the country I have time to think and wonder where as here I am subconsciously fascinated with all of the enormous houses and Hobes, my Grandma's dog, that I do not have to worrie. The horses are in great care and I know if anything were to go wrong she would call me.
Life is still looking up and I am still looking up with it. I have a whole new perspective on life and I am absorbing every second of it.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 1 January :: 2.21pm
so yeah i'm really sick and didn't even get to have any fun last night because i was lying on the couch in absolute pain and had to have roman get me medicine and yeah i had a fever and ahhh it just sucked!! i feel a little better right now finally but once the drugs wear off i'll probably feel crappy again. man!
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runningfreak
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2006 28 December :: 10.25am
:: Mood: Better
:: Music: Touchdown Turnaround (Hellogoodbye)
So much better....
I feel as though a monsterous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I talked with Brad last night. He knew things that I need to know. And just by knowing the details, I had the most wonderful sleep last night without disturbance. I didnt wake up sweating or at 3 am feeling wide awake. I feel wonderful. I am going to change alot about me. Mostly the way I look. Just talking to Brad has made everything so much better.
Everything is looking up and so I am going to look up too.
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tails
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2006 27 December :: 7.16am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: That song on that album dan gave me
PHONE!
I got a phone now. So that 2 month no phone thing is finally over with. same number as before. 890-7655. so yeah call me again. and i can call you again. im back in the network kids!.
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jayzulla
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2006 26 December :: 11.26am
Who thinks its funny to see people on their high horse, that actually have no clue about how much of a retard they sound like? I think its pretty amusing.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 25 December :: 8.53pm
this is NOT to incinuate (sp) anything but i'm honestly just CURIOUS
::::how young do you think is TOO young to get married???:::::
again, i'm just curious what people think.
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jayzulla
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2006 25 December :: 1.36pm
Nothing like a little Platoon on Christmas.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 23 December :: 3.46pm
i dyed my hair darker last night.
yay
thanks to jess for helping me.
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jayzulla
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2006 22 December :: 5.43am
hey, anything going on tonight? anyone?
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liz
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2006 22 December :: 12.05am
I am awesomesauce.
my whole night is okay again.
yayers
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 21 December :: 10.36pm
so yeah i got a bad grade in my math class even though i worked my ass off in that class and now i'll probably never keep my scholarship unless i get all a's next semester which iwont and i will fail at life
...as predicted.
i hate davenport university it is horrible and should die.
goodnight .
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liz
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2006 21 December :: 1.07am
"Don't Waste Your Heart"
For the life of me I can't believe
The you're on your knees beggin' please
All the pushing' away and puttin' down
Can't you see you're gettin' the run around
Oh it's plain to see you'd rescure me
From my loneliness so called unhappiness
Oh I didn't mean to cause you pain
I've got nothin' to lose and nothin' to gain
And don't waste your heart on a wild thing
She's got a soul that won't settle on one thing
Whoa this bird can't sing when you've tied its wings
Don't waste your heart on me
It's funny how the girls get burned
And honey as far as I'm concerned
The tables have turned
And don't waste your heart on a wild thing
She's got a soul that won't settle on one thing
Whoa this bird can't sing when you've tied its wings
Don't waste your heart on me
And I'm here to apologize
My heart can't compromise
Don't waste your heart on me
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jayzulla
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2006 16 December :: 8.20pm
god damn. most of you suck, you guys need to do stuff on the weekends, so i dont have to sit around being bored. fuckers
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jayzulla
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2006 15 December :: 5.34am
dont watch this if you have a weak stomach.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1258710232
i think about 20-30% of this is pretty fucked up. killing animal for human consumption is fine, and i love my meat (no pun intended assholes) but you could at least kill them conventionally, know what im saying? i bet we could find alot of wouldbe serial killers at slaughter houses. most killers start with animals anyways, some probley just arnt motivated enough to start with humans, thank god.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 14 December :: 10.00pm
do you ever wonder if everyone is just lieing to you?
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jayzulla
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2006 13 December :: 8.00am
so fernando (dont make fun of the name, because i WILL kill you) gave an amp for the price of nothing. i know nothing about amps or any of this shit, so someone who does please tell me if this is a shitty, decent, or great amp for a car.
http://www.bluelagoonusa.com/almrvse4cham.html
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liz
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2006 13 December :: 2.15am
:: Mood: hungry
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted
[Chorus:]
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending give to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
[Repeat Chorus]
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 10 December :: 11.31am
omg look at my journal. isn't it awesome
okay so i can't really read the words but i dont really care. i need to figure out how to change the font cuz i can't do it the normal way but ohe well.
i'm obsessed.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 8 December :: 8.31pm
My boyfriend is wonderful.
do you know why?
because he bought us tickets to go to the Nutcracker Ballet. I went there once when I was in 4th grade. it was so fun. I can't wait.
it's gonna be great. hooray hoorah oh happy day.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 8 December :: 6.59pm
you would not believe what i just did.
so i'm not even gonna tell you.
it's for your own good. or rather, mine. totally mine.
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tails
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2006 8 December :: 1.01am
www.hornymanatee.com
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jayzulla
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2006 7 December :: 12.15pm
if anyone is partying this weekend, get ahold of me somehow. on herer or something. this is like the first weekend im going into blind.
edit: do you have to be a member of sams club to buy shit there? im thinking about forking over the loot for some patron, but i dont know if id even be able to get it without being a member....
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 7 December :: 12.12pm
i cannot take this anymore.
i was just emailed by my professor letting me know that the legal memo i handed in , our biggest project that takes forever to do... is wrong. i did the wrong case. i DID THE WRONG CASE.
which means i have to do it all over again. he handed us two different cases i must have somehow picked the wrong one even though right on the front page it says YOUR ASSIGNMENT and talks aobut all the requirements and everything you need when you hand it in.
this is terrific. and i have to work all weekend.
i will never finish everything.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 6 December :: 11.34am
:: Mood: Upset.
:: Music: none.
I have come to the conclusion that I hate this so-called thing called "The Real World".
Is it wrong of me to sit here and listening to this MKTG 412 class start to leave the class room and converse with one another and feel completely certain that 85% of the words that come out of their mouths are so fake and empty? Is it wrong of me to feel that every sentance that is supposed to come out of them with feeling and emotion sounds to me as a lie. Is it wrong of me to feel totally weird that when they talk to one another it's just all an act.
is it wrong for me to think about how they are acting like robots.... when they go home don't they change into sweats and lounge on their couches?? doesn't everyone? they dont honestly go home and stay in their buisness suits and panty hose and high heels and sit in an upright chair making charts and graphs... no one does that. okay maybe not no one. but REAL people. that is what i'm talking about. real people. don't they head home after this and start using SLANG words and maybe throw a cuss word or two around? isn't that comfortable? doesn't anyone go home and open a bag of oreos and dunk it in their milk like a normal person??? can you imagine a bunch of "suits" dunking their oreos? can you? please...
is it wrong of me to walk into a church and get tears in my eyes because i feel like there are conformists. is that the right word? no... i feel like there are people who are certain of where they are going but are yet to find out they are not. ( this is not to offend ANYONE . this is not sarcasm, these are just my feelings FYI)
Is it wrong of me to hurt when people are just talking to each other? I just analyze it all too much i know. But it hurts me that people are just... yeah
where have all the real people gone
i dont want to go to this school
i want to go to a school where there are gays and there is a lesbian club and there are crazy artistic expressive people. i want to go to a school where everyone accepts each other and everyone gets to know each other. i want to go to a school that has an I LOVE JESUS club and tries to introduce everyone to the Lord. I want to go to a school that expresses individuality.
i want to go to a school where people are real.
i can't be cooped up here anymore. i dont know what i'm going to do with my life as far as a career and i can't stay here any longer pretending that i'll be satisfied with myself as a medical assistant or as a health whatever managment blah blah blah 4 year degree office type.
Is it wrong of me to want something creative and new and fresh and meaningful ... is it wrong of me....................................... i know i wont ever MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. but i have to do something.... smarter with myself. please
I NEED TO HELP PEOPLE.
i need to have a satisfying rewarding career.
i need to know that with my everyday work, i make people feel BETTER. More ALIVE. More REAL.
ugh. what do i do. ? please.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 5 December :: 8.54pm
can anyone please help me fix my computer. i am getting SO pissed off.
my dvd player in my computer,,,,.... it will play dvds and the video is fine and up to speed but the sound just skips and skips and no it's not the dvd i'm not that dumb but please help me someone or i am going to throw this thing off my balcony. please!
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