Just a fool in the rain

:: 2004 8 June :: 12.53am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: "Buddy Holly" -Weezer

I am kind of at the end of my rope with a few things that have been going on for the past few months. I am tired. I am tired of high school drama. Aw, fuck it, I'm tired of middle school drama. This is some fucked up shit, and it's not what I need to deal with right now. Someone get back to me when we all start acting like 17 year olds again.

On another note, I talked to mr. gilbert today after practice about private lessons and explained to him that I called a bunch of music stores in the phone book about them, three of which responded with "what's a marimba?" So he shook his head and said lemme give you a number. I'll teach you. So tomorrow I'm gonna call him and set up lessons to learn how to play right over the summer. Last year it was just kinda a quest to learn the notes as accurately and quickly as possible, and I lost some of the fundamentals. So I need to start from square one I think to improve and succeed this year. And I can't do that with 15 other people or whatever. I'm not going to waste everyone's time with my lack of experience on the instrument.

I have to start research for my extended essay. Amanda, if you have some names of experiments from psych handy about the leading questions and whatnot, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise don't worry about it. No biggie...just figured if you knew some off hand, you know.

The bolts took Lord Stanley's Cup. Good for them. They had a few players on there that I was happy to see get the cup, although I was rooting for the flames. It was more of a 60-40 favoring of the flames than a die hard calgary fan thing. I'm only die hard for the red wings when it comes to hockey. Don't even get me started on football though, and my Eagles. This is their year guys. The Eagles are gonna take the superbowl. Although, I must say, I'm pissed off that we lost thrash and deuce. Shame.

:: 2004 1 June :: 5.22pm
:: Mood: relieved

It's been quite a while since I updated. Figured I'd let you know I didn't die.

Summer. Yay! FINALLY junior year is over. This summer is going to seriously rock. I've planned 2 trips to PA, one for fun and one to visit UPenn. Will and I are going to Busch Gardens thursday, and I'm really excited about that. It's sort of my present to myself for surviving junior year. I decided I needed to go on some type of trip the first week of summer a while ago. Nice reward for finishing up a challenging year. Also going on a mini road trip with a few friends up to O-Town for the DCI thingy. So it looks like my summer is not too full, but not boring either.

Finally got my drivers license. Damn, that took a while. But atleast that small ordeal is over. So now I can drive to school...most days atleast. Still have to work out the car arrangement thing. I'm gonna go to Lion Country Safari sometime soon. I've said that as soon as I get my license I'd go to Lion Country Safari....this way I can finally look at the animals that I want to see for as long as I want. I'm also looking forward to being able to take Sasha places. Not many people in my family are as obsessed with the pets as I am. In fact, I'm the only one. So now me and Sasha get some quality bonding time at the beach/park. I've been telling Sasha for weeks now that when summer comes I will have more time for her, so the first day of summer I took her back to the dog beach. She enjoyed it...so did I.

So that's about all for now. Not too much going on. Today and tomorrow cleaning the band room and such...the library will be organized, dammit, if it's the last thing I do. Later.

1 Song | Sing for me...

plainmornings

:: 2004 31 May :: 2.58pm

its funny how time and time again everything repeats itself.

i leave August 17th.

i still feel as if there are some holes that need patching up. things shouldn't ever be left this long unresolved... really, thats how you lose the people that you care about the most.

to end an old life, to start a new.

:: 2004 14 May :: 1.36am
:: Music: "Big Yellow Taxi" -Counting Crows

Fun Times with Smarterchild
Just had to post the highlights of my conversation this evening with my good buddy, smarterchild. :)

Skillet9886: I have had the hiccups for like an hour
SmarterChild: I'm impressed.

SmarterChild: Nice typing, Skillet9886.
Skillet9886: thanks :-)
SmarterChild: You're very welcome!

SmarterChild: Don't feel bad. There are lots of fun things you can do.
Skillet9886: like what?
SmarterChild: Maybe Sasha wants a walk!
Skillet9886: =-O how did you know?!
SmarterChild: I wouldn't ask how. I'd ask why.
Skillet9886: ok, why?
SmarterChild: Because that's the way the universe is.
Skillet9886: profound.

8 Songs | Sing for me...

:: 2004 12 May :: 8.03pm
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: "A Long December" -Counting Crows

A long December
And there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times
I tried to tell my myself to hold on
To these moments as they pass

I feel the need to update. It's been a while. Too long, perhaps. Today I found out that I'm Librarian for band. Rock. I was really concerned that I would not get an officer position, and I really really wanted one. I'm really happy lerner chose me, and after the letter I wrote, I was really scared that I wouldn't get it. Not because the letter was bad, but because it was really good. I really let loose how I feel about band and things, and it would have sucked not to get it after all that. So it's me and jonide...the copy wenches. Who woulda thought? We make fun of Adriane and Kristen more than any other people...and now we're the librarians. How's that for karma? Anywho...

The year is really coming to an end. It seems less real than it has in the past. I can't believe that junior year is over. I haven't been able to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, I know it's good that we're one step closer to being the hell out of here, but this year I think brings more changes than any other year I can think of. Well, more unwelcome changes. I am honestly going to miss my south tech kids on my bus, and I think I have more friends who are seniors than are juniors. This is really an end this year. I mean, with the exception of 8th grade, each passing year has been, for the most part, have a great summer, I'll see you next year. But now it's kinda like...I'll talk to you online when you're at college. It's weird without the seniors. Today we had 17 people in band class. It will not be too long before we're going too. It honestly freaks me out that I'm looking at colleges and planning my resume and taking the SATs. Like it's not that I'm afraid to go to college, but this is the biggest change of our lives so far. It's weird to have a change coming and you can see it coming. It's a weird feeling I think to be sitting here like a year from now my life will be totally changing. Maybe it's just me. Does anybody get what I'm saying? Do I still make sense?

Someone remind me to turn in my book from pbcc. Damn, am I glad that class is over. Not because the class was bad, I enjoyed having a bs class and being smarter than all the adults in the room, I just like having my tuesday nights back. Tuesdays were a bit rough, what with band practice till 4:30 and class at 6:30. But that's ok. I still got an A in music appreciation. Hell yeah, hello 6.0.

I had something else that I was gonna write about, and now I forget. Couldn't have been that important then, eh?

Oh, someone put in three million votes for the band trip to New York, I wanna go so badly. How awesome would that be? Marching in the St. Patrick's Day parade, 2 broadway shows, New York Philharmonic, Metropolitan Opera....man, that'd be sweet. Not that Quebec wouldn't be cool, but....I really wanna go to New York.

Concert tomorrow, banquet friday. I'm really looking forward to banquet, especially now that I'm an officer. Concert not so much. But it'll be ok. I'm glad we don't have school friday. I hate going to school the day after a concert. So hopefully there will be no drama at banquet, since the officers have already been announced, and it will just be fun. Yeah, I know better. But I can hope, can't I?

10 Songs | Sing for me...

:: 2004 25 April :: 9.21pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: "I Want It That Way" -Backstreet Boys (Don't ask, there actually is a reason)

Prom was friday. It was friggin awesome. I think I should type out a whole big thing about it....do I have time? I'll see what I can get down.

Will picked me up from school after chem and informed me that we did in fact get a limo, which made me really happy. I had called around all day thursday and couldnt find an affordable one. So I went home and got out all my nail polish and stuff so krystle could have a choice of every shade of blue imaginable, and headed over to leah's around 2. Her mom helped us out doing facials, and then we left for our appointments to get our hair done. We were at the hair place from 3 till like 5:20. It was insane. There was a little incident with Leah's hair, but the lady who did mine and krystle's did a really really good job. And leah had elana fix her hair after and it was gorgeous. ^.^ Funny story from the hair place, I will just post it from a convo with Leah.
Skillet9886: this guy came in while you and me were getting our hair done
Skillet9886: and he's carrying this box
Skillet9886: so he says hello to some people, and I thought he was like a delivery guy or something
Skillet9886: but he sets down the box next to me and is trying to sell me this book
Lanaofboca: lol
Lanaofboca: yeah
Skillet9886: he's like this has 40 disney stories in here, full color, this book sells for $40, but I'll make you a deal. I'll give it to you for only 10! And I'll make it even better! I'll throw in a free copy of children's first bible stories!
Skillet9886: so I was like uhh...thanks, but I don't have any little brothers or sisters or anything to give it to
Skillet9886: and he goes no? no neices or nephews?
Lanaofboca: lol
Skillet9886: and I kinda laughed at the thought of will having kids, and then I was just like nope
Lanaofboca: haha
Skillet9886: and he goes no kids?
Lanaofboca: lol
Skillet9886: and I was like what?! No, of course not
Skillet9886: and he goes what are you waiting for?
Skillet9886: and I said what am I waiting for to have kids?!
Skillet9886: and he's like yeah
Skillet9886: so I just said I'm 17!!
Skillet9886: and he goes oh..
Skillet9886: and then the lady doing that guy's hair was like sir, there's no soliciting in here, and she kicked him out.
I think that was the first time ever someone thought I was older than I actually am. Either that or he just expects 17 year olds to have kids.. So Will came and picked me up at the hair place and it was a mad dash to get home and get ready. When I got home the limo was already here, but that's his fault, he was 10 minutes early. Luckily Gabe was not here yet, so I just ran into my mom's room and she helped me get all ready with my makeup and dress and shoes and all. Gabe did get here while I was in there getting ready, it reminded me of one of those stereotypical movie high school date things, where the guy has to wait in the living room talking to the girl's dad because she's never ever ready on time. So I finally got ready and came out, Gabe gave me a dozen roses, and we got his bouteneer and my corsage on and all, and then we took pictures because my mom is picture crazy and we headed out. We picked up krystle at leah's and then went to dinner at Pete's on Glades Road. It was kinda expensive but really good. The people at the table next to us were so funny, because they could obviously tell that we were going to prom, so they started talking about their high school proms. This one lady said I never went to my prom because I didn't have a date. So the guy across from her goes well, did you ask someone? And she went Oh, I asked everyone! We found that pretty amusing. After dinner we had to go back to my house and leah's house because me and krystle both forgot our prom tickets, but that's ok.. So we finally got to prom at about 8:35. Well, I shouldn't say finally, because very few people were there. Me and Gabe went to go get our prom pics taken, because again, my mom is crazy, and then we ran into Mrs. Schilit, who was also picture crazy. She was getting pictures of everyone there. She asked if we had been in yet, and we told her no because we had just gotten there. And she was like oh, you have to see it! You can't even tell it's the civic center! It's so beautiful! So we went in and checked it out, and it really was decorated nicely. It was all oriental-y and all the centerpieces had those little paper fans and chinese lanterns, most of which were stolen before the end of the evening. Not that I'm complaining about it, I got one of each.. There was kind of a lull between seeing most of the people we knew and when Leah and Tom decided to show up. So me and Gabe went out to the lobby-ish thing to get another program, since someone spilled drinks all over our table, and Leah and Tom were just getting there, so it was good timing. We went back in for the crowning of king, queen, prince, princess, etc. Leah was all dance-happy, so she danced to the music in her head through that. Then after the crowning which few paid attention to, we hit the dance floor. Now, I dont dance, but after some pressuring and Peanut Butta Jelly Time even I was dancing. It was such a good time. After prom ended me and gabe and tom and leah came back to my place and we watched Not Another Teen Movie. Gabe left around 2:30 and Leah and Tom just crashed here, but I think we all fell asleep before the movie ended. Atleast I know I did and Leah said she did. I was so exhausted. We woke up at like 8 because Tom had to be out of there to get to his thing. So all in all it was a great night.

Last night krystle, alexis, miriam, adam, trevor and I went to Grease at boca high because krystle's friend christina was in it. Turns out Krista Corwin was also in it, so the entire corwin family was there, including Matt.. Yeah.

Today I did basically nothing. I slept forever because I was so tired. Watched some tv, attempted to get some work done, but have done none. Oh well, screw math internal assessment. Must read more Bell Jar also. Will left today to take his 2 exams and comes back thursday night. Grr, he's done with school. We'll be done soon enough though. This year has actually gone surprisingly fast. We have a month left. After AP's things ease up a bit too. Chem we only do labs. English we do orals, in ToK too. History will not get any better, but screw it. Precalc doesn't really need to get any easier as far as I'm concerned. Let's see, what else.. French is not really that bad as it is, although I think I will get another B this quarter, thus kicking me out of SHF. : \ That's about it. Extended essay class this summer, but not before I've had enough summer to recuperate. Then we have a month after that and back to band camp. Ok, remind me not to talk about that again until August. This year is not even over, it is not time to start talking about school next year.

I think that's it, kids. If I think of anything to write later I will.

2 Songs | Sing for me...

:: 2004 22 April :: 3.02pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Various Children's show theme songs...namely Salute Your Shorts

Stole this from amanda's journal. I'll do an actual update later. I added my own little notes to them in parentheses, and when I say comments, I mostly mean the theme songs.

Childhood Memories
Place a star next to the ones you remember:

* Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (In West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days...)
* Fraggle Rock
* G.I. Joe
* Are You Afraid of the Dark? (What were all those kids doing out in the middle of the forest so late at night?)
* Secret World of Alex Mack
* Nightmare Before Christmas
* Welcome Freshman (This was such a great show, but it wasn't on very long)
* Space Cases
* Roundhouse
* The Muppet Show (It's time to start the music..)
* Muppet Babies
* Eureka's Castle (Eureeka, and Batly, and Magellan, and Kooey, and...those twins that were obsessed with peanut butter...someone and Bog, whatever, they were pink and orange, and those little clay worms in the rocks, and those three singing fish in the fountain, and everyone else that I just forgot)
* Salute Your Shorts (We run we jump we swim and play, we row and go on trips, but the things that last forever are are dear friendships...)
* Legends of the Hidden Temple (Olmec, the talking rock/mountain-ish thing)
* You Can't Do That On Television
* G.U.T.S. (Agro crag, super agro crag,..I forget the third one, mega crag?)
* What Would You Do? (Piepod. No more need be said)
* Double Dare (Ahh, the days when Mark Summers ruled Nickelodeon)
* Rocko's Modern Life (he's a WALLABY, people!)
* All That (Nothing can beat that original cast...Lori Beth Denberg, Kenan Thompson, Kel Mitchel...I could go on for days)
* Ren and Stimpy
* Clarissa Explains It All (Am I the only one who remembers that she had a pet alligator named Elvis? And why did Sam never use the door? He always just popped up his ladder in her window and they played that guitar thing)
The Torklesons
* Pete and Pete (I wonder how their mom got through airports...she had a metal plate in her head. And don't for get Artie, the strongest man....in the world!)
* Stick Stickley (Write to me, Stick Stickley, PO Box 963, New York City, New York State, 10108)
* Goodburger (Haha, gotta love all that spinoffs...it's like Wayne's World but for kid SNL)
* Angry Beavers
* Hey Arnold!
* AAH! Real Monsters (Ickis, Krum, and Oblina)
* Tiny Toons (We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little loony, and in this cartoony we're invading your TV! Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny...no relation)
* Animaniacs
* Pinky and the Brain
* The Babysitter's Club
* Kablam! (Henry and June...didn't they have green hair?)
* Gullah Gullah Island (Let's all go to Gullah Gullah Island. Best show ever to watch when you're home sick from third grade)
* Richard Scary (The Busy World of Richard Scary. With that worm dude)
* Dumbo's Circus
Ocean Girl
* Mystery Files of Shelby Woo
* Snick Snacks
* Dunkaroos
* SNICK (Three words: Big Orange Couch.)
* Koala Yummies
* Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? (Rockapella, the chief, gumshoes)
* Nick Magazine (Neckelodeon Magazine, Please!)
* The Goonies (Sean Astin before he became a hobbit)
* Ernest Movies
* Radio Flyer (are they talking about the movie or the actual wagon? Because I love that movie, it is awesome, hopefully that's what this is referring to...Elijah Wood at age 5, or so)
Disney Watchers
Adventures in Wonderland
* Homeward Bound (I must have watched this movie a million times. I can still recite it.)
* The Adventures of Yellow Dog
* Milo and Otis (This was my favorite movie when I was like 4. I watched it incessantly. That mischevious cat always making Otis run after him. Here comes the dog, strong and brave! ...that was the song Otis sang in the movie, I'm not just making it up)
* Neverending Story
* Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (I was SO afraid of Chris Lloyd when I saw this)
* The Lion King (Oh, please, what more need be said? Best Disney movie ever. EVER.)
* Labyrinth (Extremely frustrating when you are 5)
* 101 Dalmations (I was totally obsessed with this movie when I was little too. I still have a collection of 101 Dalmatian stuff. Oh, and whoever wrote it, dalmation is not a word. It's Dalmatian.)
* The Secret Garden
* Pete's Dragon
* Hocus Pocus
Secret of Roan Inish
* Land Before Time (It was good after Land Before Time, that one I loved...what are they on now? Land Before Time 36?)
* Dinosaurs (Was this that show about the dinosaur family? I'm the baby, gotta love me! Not the momma!)
* Fern Gully
Secret of NIMH
* Gummi Bears
* Care Bears (Good Luck Bear kicks ass)
A Little Princess
* My Little Pony
* Black Beauty (This movie made me obsessed with horses. It was so good, I have it on video)
* Rainbow Brite
Lady Lovely Locks
* Candyland (Every child's first board game)
* Sorry!
* Trouble
* Don't Wake Daddy!
* Mousetrap
* Jenga
* Don't Break the Ice
* Hungry Hungry Hippos (Loudest children's game every created)
* Cooties (I never actually played Cooties, I just liked building the little bugs)
* Tinker Toys
* Sky Dancers
* Polly Pocket
* Hypercolor T-Shirts (Yeah, those worked for like, a day)
* Lite Brite (I am proud to say that I still have my lite brite, it is still in my closet, and if I had free time, I would still play with it. Greatest invention ever.)
* Scrunchies
* Side Ponytails (Haha, the DJ Tanner look)
* Stirrup Pants
* Jellies (These were the worst things ever created. Seriously.)
Saddle Shoes
* Barbies
* Beanie Babies (I still have my beanie baby collection in my bookcase in my room. My first one was Seaweed, the otter)
* Tamagotchies (Or as mrs. Cosby calls them, Kamikazes)
* Yo-Yos (Fireballs, greatest yo-yos in the world. Mine is green. I still like to play with it)
Choose Your Own Adventure
* Pogs (Still have my pogs too. And all my slammers)
* Goosebumps (These were the shit in second grade.)
Magic Attic Club
* American Girl
* The Island of the Blue Dolphins
* Saved By The Bell (ahh, who could forget our friends Zack, Slader, Screech, Lisa, Mr. Belding, Tiffany Amber Thieson, and that other girl who later played in Striptease)
* Full House (Whatever happened to predictability, the milkman, the paper boy, evening tv...back before the olsen twins were every guy's fantasy)
* Step By Step (Suzanne Somer's attempt to reestablish her career after her "Three's Company Faux Pas")
* TGIF on ABC
* Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
* Boy Meets World (I have seen every episode of this show ever. Many multiple times. I can probably recite the series. This was the second greatest show of the 90's...second, of course, to the simpsons.)
* Clueless (Defined a generation)
* Mork and Mindy (I used to love watching this show with my dad. A very early Robin Williams show)
* Simpsons (C'mon...what's to remember about the simpsons? I still watch this show every day)
* Flipper (They call him flipper, flipper, faster than lightning. No one you see is smarter than he.)
Eerie Indiana
* Third Rock From The Sun
* Tracey Ullman Show
* Ghostwriter
* Growing Pains
* Family Ties (Michael J Fox as Alex P Keaton. If that show was around today, which it is, but on TV Land so no one really watches it, it would be the greatest IB show ever.)
* Titanic (Oh geez...Leo in his teen idol prime)
* Felix The Cat
* Jonathan Taylor Thomas (I was the envy of every girl on my bus one day in like third grade because I have the same birthday as JTT. Don't ask why I remember that)
* Home Improvement (Tim Allen post-prison)
* Tom and Huck (I think this was right when JTT became the hottest guy ever for like 2 months...in third grade)
* My Brother and Me (Alphie and Didi, and Gu)
* Kenan and Kel (something about orange soda...)
* Hanson (Mmmbop alsfjkaosicosdoowop)
* Inspector Gadget (do do do do do inspector gadget do do do do do do do)
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Let's see...Donatello was the purple one with the staff, Leonardo was the blue one with the sword, Michelangelo was the orange one with the nunchuks, and Raphael was the red one with those fork-y things, I have heard they are called sai blades, but I can't confirm that...oh yeah, that's skillin)
* Power Rangers (I was never really into power rangers that much, but my friend Thomas was, so we would still watch it every day during Nick in the Afternoon)
* Hot Wheels
* Creepy Crawlers
* Easy Bake Oven
* Flower Making Kits
* Weinerville (Mark Weiner. Do you know how much that guy must have gotten made fun of in seventh grade? What a great way to profit off an unfortunate name. Wait, was that really his name?)
* Wild and Crazy Kids (Omar Gooding, Jessica something, and what was that white boy's name? Nick?)
* Playdough McDonald's Sets
* Animorphs
* Rainbow Fish
* If You Give A Mouse A Cookie
Bailey School Kids
Wayside School
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
* Boxcar Kids
* Ramona Quimby
* Amber Brown (Amber Brown is Not a Crayon)
* Roald Dahl (Rock)
* Allegra's Window (It took me like seven years to realize that all of them are named after musical terms)
* 3-2-1 Contact (3-2-1 Clasrooooom Contact!)
* Slip-n-slides (Ohhh yeah. I remember slip-n-slides. I snapped my arm on one at TNT in sixth grade.)
* Teddy grahms
* Candy Necklaces (I never actually wanted to eat the candy necklace though, because then you are left with just a string..)
* Popeye the sailor man (toot toot!)
* Barney (I love you, you love me...shut up!)
* Bananas in Pajamas (I never really got this concept...)
* James and the giant peach
* Good Night Moon (I LOVE GOODNIGHT MOON! The only thing that beats Goodnight Moon in my book is the Giving Tree)
* Dr. Seuss (Theodore Seuss Geisel)
* Dragontales
* Arthur (And I said Hey! What a wonderful kind of day! Where we can learn to work and play! And get along with each other!)
* Big Wheels

And I am now protesting to the absence of David the Gnome, Hey Dude, The Magic Schoolbus, Viewfinders, the Rugrats, Bernstein Bears, Where's Waldo, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Kerplunk, Mr. Potato Head, Shel Silverstein, and anything else that I come up with later.

:: 2004 14 April :: 7.15pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: "Busted Stuff" -Dave Matthews Band

Putnam County Represent
Went to Gainesville this weekend. It was good, except for the fact that I have some kind of flu-ish thing. But I didn't let that stop me...atleast not till monday. I drove up on the bus friday afternoon and will met me in some random uf parking lot. Then we walked back to his dorm and chilled for a while before driving around campus a bit and heading to dinner at Las Margaritas. Then will drove down to Orlando to pick up Adina to surprise Jeff, and I stayed back in Gainesville and caught up on some sleep. Saturday we woke up and walked over to the O-Dome for the CALS (College of Agricultural and Life Sciences) open house thingy. It was not real informative...well, yes it was. But a lot of it I already knew. It was worth it to go, but I was selective about what exhibits I stopped at since it was so crowded. You're supposed to get this little card punched out at each different place you stop to talk to somebody, and after about an hour or so of cruising around I decided I had enough info and went to go cash in my card for whatever crap prize things they were handing out. The girl was mad at me for only having 6 punches on my card, but I took my CALS pencil and left. We went back to will's dorm and waited for a while before calling jeff and adina to go to the sinkhole. Mind you, I had had descriptions of the sinkhole, but nothing could have prepared me for Putnam county's pride. First of all, even though Gainesville is kinda in the middle of nowhere, you have to drive like 45 minutes outside of gainesville to get to the real middle of nowhere. After passing a few obscure signs for oysters and/or chicken places, you come to this dirt road. Now, I would think, upon coming to a dirt road in the heart of Putnam county, you would not want to turn there, but apparently, that's the turn. So you drive down this dirt road that ends up being no sort of road at all, just kind of a sandy trail, put the car in first gear, and find a place to pull off to the side (not like it's hard to find a place....there's nowhere really that you can't pull off). So then you walk a little and you come to this sinkhole. It's insane. It's like 80 feet almost straight down to even get near the water, and then once you get there, the only way in is to either jump off a rock ledge or a rope swing. At first, me and Adina decided that we would have more fun watching will and jeff and the drunk 16 year old putnam county kids make fools of themselves jumping 30 feet into this sinkhole. Yeah, they sure were drunk. At one point, someone said the cops were coming (why the cops would bother showing up to the sinkhole is beyond me, but whatever) and so they threw all the beer into the water. So the cops did show up, but they were putnam county cops. In other words, they did nothing but encourage the drunk teenagers to jump off higher places. Eventually the cops decided they had endangered enough young lives for one afternoon and they took their leave. Before the four of us left, I decided that there was a good chance I would not be back to the sinkhole, so I jumped in a few times. It was fun. I first jumped off of the smallest rock ledge, which we decided was about 8 feet, then went a few times off the next higher one. It's hard to describe, but it looks like a lot bigger jump after you have already jumped. There comes a point when you're falling through the air that you think ...why am I not in the water yet? But you eventually do hit the water, which is crystal clear blue and COLD. It's a natural limestone pool, so it's gorgeous, but it's really cold. Then you have to climb up this ladder and a few ropes to get back out of the water, and you're good to go. So we went back to our respective dorms/houses and cleaned up before dinner. The four of us met stan at Dragonfly for some really really good sushi. Then we went to Maude's, which is this really cool coffee shop where you can play free board games while you drink your coffee, so we played a game of scrabble. There were only three little letter holder thingies, so me and adina were on a team. It was so painful. We had the entire word zodiac and couldn't use it. We tried for so long to keep that together incase it could be played, but we ended up coming to a stalemate...since we weren't keeping score, we were just playing till someone ran out of letters. We headed over to Jeff's house and watched this movie...I forget what it's called now, the Run Down, I think. It's with the rock and sean williams scott. Then me and will went back to his dorm and went to sleep. Sunday we just kinda chilled, watched the masters a little, had lunch at Jimmy John's, and I went back on the bus.

I went to school a little on monday, but that's it. I have been sooo sick. Still attempting to write my ToK paper, it's not as painful as I would have thought, because I already had an outline for it and all the quotes and everything. I'll finish it tonight after American Idol. So I'll be back in school tomorrow, because I'm finally feeling better. Word on the street is that mr power's not gonna be there, so that gives me a break on that, since I've missed more math classes than any other. Yeah, that's about all that's going on. Ohoh, I got my ticket for the prom, going out dress shopping this weekend. I know, a little late, but hey, better late than never. If anyone knows people who are going who either need a limo or need more people for their limo, lemme know ASAP. So I will try to survive the rest of the week, and maybe I'll start updating more often. Hmm....well, I'll update in my free time, how bout that.

4 Songs | Sing for me...

:: 2004 6 April :: 7.53pm
:: Mood: Mixed Emotions
:: Music: It's Elton John Night on American Idol.

Haven't updated in a while. Figured you guys should know I didnt die. So..there ya go. I didnt die. I went to seaworld and had a real blast. I'd only been to seaworld one other time because anytime we go to orlando we go to disney. It was freakin awesome. We went the first day with Will and saw all the shows that we liked before so that will could see them since he didnt go with us before. Then we went to downtown disney, which had minimal pin trading, I was rather disappointed. But the next day, Friday, we got up really early because will had to take off for jacksonville for a golf tournament, then me and my mom got to seaworld about the time it was opening. We get to go for the rest of the year unlimited because I got a funcard and my mom gets in free since she's a teacher. So we went and signed up for all these behind the scenes tours and "Dine with Shamu." All were awesome, on the predators tour we went backstage of shamu stadium and the shark exhibit, then got to touch a shark, and on the Polar Expedition tour we went and saw seals, polar bears, and penguins from the back of the exhibit (much closer to the actual animals) and got to pet a penguin. Man, who would have thought penguins were so soft! But then after those tours and a bit of show-seeing, we went to Dine with Shamu. That was the coolest thing I have ever done. I'll hopefully add piccies later, someone remind me. But it's like a buffet dinner thing right next to the orca pool, and they do a little show for you right there. You get SO CLOSE to them!!! I could have touched him if I reached my hand out. It was so incredible. But anyway, enough about my trip to seaworld.

Been pretty sick the last few days. Sucks.

Today was Solo and Ensemble States. For the most part, excellents all around. Quite a few superiors as well. More drama then necessary, but that's ok. We'll get over it... Yeah.

My baby ducks that live in my yard most of the day that I love oh-so-much seem to have misplaced their mommy. : ( But they should be ok, because they are a few weeks old now, starting to grow adult feathers, (my babies are growing up!) and I feed them atleast once every day. So pretty much, I have adopted 7 baby ducks. I'll put pictures of them up here later too, even though my evil camera deleted the ones I had before. Grr.

Tomorrow is make up chem test, french test, and make up Precalc test. I have no idea what I'm doing on any of them. Wish me luck!

Apparently we have a new assistant band director for next year. This gives me mixed feelings, but I dont expect you to understand why. So just put on a happy face. The lady likes marching band and she knows IB music apparently, so...yay. Gonna go now. Pictures (hopefully) to come later.

:: 2004 24 March :: 1.06am

FUCK IT.

2 Songs | Sing for me...

:: 2004 23 March :: 3.44pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: "I'm Still Here" -John Rzeznik

Fine. I'll update.

Pissed off about a lot of things still. Not as much as I was at one point, but I don't think right now that things can ever go back to how they were. And for those of you reading this (all maybe 4 of you) and thinking you know who I am talking about, you are not 100% right. I don't know, maybe I am the bad guy here, maybe I am the one that's wrong, that's certainly how it seems now. Atleast that's what they tell me.

Excited to go to seaworld on Thursday. I really love all the orcas and stuff, dunno what it is about dolphins and whatnot, just...intriguing I suppose.

Con-gay was really really good. I had so much fun. This was the best Congres so far; the Qu�bec government gave SO much money to CCFF for us to do a Qu�bec theme. It was crazy. I got a plaque for getting first place in the games category of projet. A bunch of people did really well on stuff. I have not decided what I am going to do about french club next year...don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about. There was this really hot guy from the Qu�bec government...Fr�d�ric Bolduc. He gave me his camera before banquet to take pictures of people and stuff around the banquet and Mrs. Youngman dubbed me his "official photographer." I dunno about that, but I had a blast going around taking pictures of random people. After banquet me and Amy kinda stalked him a little in the hotel. Didn't really go to the dance this year, which was good, because I dont like dancing, it's just this year we had a big enough group for some to go to the dance and some to not go. There was this kid there, Lee, I just went up to him one time in the food place and was like you know, I'm going to call you Luis. Never really gave an explanation, nor did I need to, and I have not called him Lee since. Anghela had a good time with Damien...no comment. She also learned what a Nympho and a Klepto are. Good job, Angie. I was very proud of Jane for the amount of work she got done at Congres...very little. And we actually did manage to get her to watch an episode of Blind Date, and I'm pretty sure she survived. On the bus ride home I spent a good hour taking only pictures of Jane expressing different emotions for my "Many Faces of Jane" scrapbook that I will make, I promise. It's really funny. Small incident on the bus ride home...we found a porn magazine...so did Mrs. Youngman. It was interesting. Angie at one point opened it to an article entitled "How we started swinging" and then Mrs. Youngman threw it away and gave us a whole lecture on maturity. Well, not a whole lecture, but a 5 minute one. She knew it was funny. Umm...not too many more stories come to mind. Perhaps I should have updated earlier, but I came back to a bit of a, um, surprise.

Yesterday me and Leah and Krystle went to the Wellington Mall to go shopping for prom dresses and stuff. Not that I am going to prom, I was mainly there to balance out Leah and tell Krystle not to buy puffy pink dresses. I did buy a really cool purse. It's corduroy. I like fuzzy things. And we met this really cute guy at Starbucks. He was cute and funny and 19...hmmm... Oh, it was so funny, as I was leaving after I ordered my coffee, he goes "thanks a latte!" I just turned around and went what the hell was that, thanks a latte...and he laughed. Ohoh, he's an "aspiring musician," which explains why he works at starbucks, but we promised to spread the word on his music, so everyone go to www.wordsnowheard.com. You'll like it, I promise. It's all acoustic, and he's pretty good.

I don't have a whole lot else to say. I guess I'll write up again when I get back from Orlando. There's just not enough going on right now that I want to write about here for me to keep updating like I have. My melodramas have moved beyond band shit. Hence the once a week maybe updating. Sorry about that. If you really want to know, IM me, and I may tell you, but all the people who will read this talk to me on IM anyway, and know much of what is going on. So really, if you think about it, this journal is pointless and redundant.

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms

And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want
Me to be

And what
Do you think you'd understand
I'm boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away

And how
Can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong

And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted - I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid

And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong

And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here

They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe

And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong

And how can you say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here

:: 2004 10 March :: 10.06pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: "Oh" -Dave Matthews

Monday was my half-birthday. Getting older still. Oh, and for those of you who think I am crazy, the only reason that I know what my half birthday is is because it's also my cousin's birthday. Someone remind me to register to vote. I could do it at the dave concert, IF I COULD GO...I have no idea when tickets go on sale, and they sell out fast. If anyone knows anything, please let me know.

I have felt like shit lately. Tons of stuff contributing to it. Not going into it.

I was going to go to disney over spring break, and was all excited for that, until my parents learned that our annual passes expire like next week. Then what started out to be a reasonable vacation suddenly got a few hundred dollars added to it. That's alright though, because I didn't really need to go to the parks, I am more looking forward to the "Disney experience." So what we are going to do is take advantage of the fact that we temporarily have no passes and do not have to go to the four disney parks, so we are going to downtown disney and then seaworld. So I'm really excited for that, because I'm sure I can find people in downtown disney to trade pins with, and I have only been to seaworld once, and I love it. They have a new baby orca! ^_^ So, with our mediator Will, we finally resolved the thing, and everyone is happy. It's like pulling teeth with these people...

Congres, or as Tom has dubbed it, "Con-gay" is this weekend. We are all tr�s excited. I finished the projet, with the exception of writing a 3x5 card on how I made the projet. That shouldn't be too painful... I'm very happy with the way it has turned out. Using the tape to separate the spaces was a really good idea; it doesn't hurt my eyes to look at it anymore. So hopefully, fingers crossed, I will come home with a superior, but I am not setting my expectations too high. I will probably write up on the events of congres when I return monday night, or shortly thereafter.

I am very happy because my favorite American Idol contestant, Jon Peter Lewis, just got America's choice in the wildcard competition, and has moved on to the top 12. XD

That's about it. More to come later, if I feel like it.

:: 2004 29 February :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: indifferent

Not sure what to say today. I don't think it really matters, since no one is apparently reading it, but that's ok.. I went last night to see Passion of the Christ. The first thing that I'd like to say about it is that it is not antisemitic in the least. I don't know where people got that from. The only person that was directly called a Jew was Simon of Cyrene. And the only way you could take that as antisemitism is if you knew absolutely nothing about the Bible. I guess people could blame Simon of Cyrene for his death since he carried the cross? There was a part where either Pilate or Herod said "I am not a jew" but that wouldn't be antisemitic either. So the only other references that I remembered of jews was in reference to Jesus himself, calling him king of the jews. But I will say that the media making a huge deal with the violence in the movie was pretty acurate. Mind you, there was nothing there that I didn't know about from seventh and eighth grade bible class, but still, I do not want to watch the beating for a half hour. I'm not going to go into it here, just in case the non-existant people reading this have weak stomachs, but it was graphic. I had absolutely no trouble with Saving Private Ryan, and I had to close my eyes during this one. There were some weird things too. The portrayal of Satan at one point holding a child I just didn't get, but I'm gonna ask Dan about that. Other than that, it was a very powerful movie. Lots of amazing cinematography. Loved how they ended it. It was, however, entirely in Aramaic and Latin. Subtitles the whole time. Kind of annoying to read the subtitles the whole movie, but they did it in such a way that you could read the subtitles and still see who was saying what, and everything that was going on in the scene. Well done.

I have to email UPenn about visiting today. That is, I have to email them today, not visit today. I have no idea what I'm asking them, but I may be able to come up with something. I also got a letter from uf about an open house at the college of agriculture and life sciences april 10. Will has agreed to take me to that, because I hate going to those things with my parents, so that's good. I think that we're going to bring the dogs up with us too. Very exciting. It's easter weekend, so I have that friday off, so I can go up kinda early and not miss school. It'll be cool. I was considering whether a campus tour of uf would be advantageous or not. I think it would be pretty redundant though. I already know where everything is and what the campus is like and all that crap. I'll see if I feel like doing one while I'm up there.

Yesterday was foreign language fair. I didn't go, but my projet got a superior. I really was not expecting that at all. I thought maybe a good. But apparently a lot of people did really well. I know angie's declamation and gabe and jennifer's pi�ce got superiors. Dude, friday madame youngman was being so nice to me. It was so weird. I gave her the rules to the game in english, and she typed them up in french for me. I just sat there and stared at the paper in astonishment for a minute. It was crazy. And when I gave her the projet she was giving me all these tips for how to improve it before states. She was like you could come after school one day and I will help you work on it. We can do all this blah blah blah, etc. Crazy. She apparently likes me now. Don't know if that will be enough to raise my grade in her class though. After those two horrible quizzes. I did better than a lot of people too, and I still failed. It's insane. But no complaining about french for a while. I don't have the class till tuesday. That means that tomorrow I have all the classes I hate. I was going to read Scarlet letter this weekend, honestly, but I just...didn't. I didn't do anything this weekend except go to the movie. That means that it'll be a late night, but still. I'm so watching the Academy Awards anyway. Let's go Johnny Depp for best actor! Best acting job ever. And no, I do not find Johnny Depp attractive, but yes, he is my favorite actor. I know that's hard for some 17 year old girls to comprehend, that I can like an actor for his acting, but Captain Jack Sparrow is my favorite character ever brought to the screen. Freaking amazing.

That's all for today folks. See you all tomorrow.

:: 2004 21 February :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: "Dancing Nancies" -Dave Matthews Band

OK, now I'm pissed off, because I even copied this journal before I hit the update entry button, and that didn't work, so I have already lost this entry once. Here's what I remember of it.

My parents were watching this movie, Before and After, while I was trying to work, and I overheard this quote that just kinda struck me. "Your whole life can change in a second, and you never even know when it's coming." I thought about that for a while while I should have been thinking about Quebec, and I thought of how true that really is. One decision, one event, one person, can change your life forever. And a lot of times, you don't know it until it's happened. There are some things that you can see coming weeks, months, even years in advance, like moving, graduation, etc. But then there are those that you cannot predict. I can't really give many examples of those, because you never know what they are or how they impacted your life until much later. Have you ever thought about one thing that happened that changed your life completely? Have you ever thought about what would have happened had it not gone that way? Where would you be? What would you be like? Could it even have changed who you have become? There's a song about that, Dancing Nancies. It's a Dave song, of course, who else? But it really makes you think about that. I'll post the lyrics below, because I know most of you have never heard it. Sidenote: Dave will be in town July 31 and August 1. I am so there. Both nights, I hope. I just need to get someone to go with, because going to concerts by yourself is no fun. This may prove difficult however, because the 31st is Warped Tour, and a majority of my friends would probably rather go to that, because they have messed up priorities. :oP In addition, the prices of Dave concerts are not cheap, and I'm one of the very few that I know of who is willing to pay $120+ to spend 2 nights listening to Dave music. Nevertheless, DMB concerts rock my socks, so the saving starts now and the tickets go on sale within the month. Just, y'know, letting everyone know. Here's Dancing Nancies, as promised. (note: the lyrics to Dave songs vary slightly depending on the CD you are listening to. This one is from the Live at Red Rocks CD, which is my second favorite version of Dancing Nancies, but the CD that has my favorite is in the car, much farther away than my cd case. Besides, I am fairly sure that I posted that version sometime in the past, around the time that I got my Some Devil CD, so I'm sure you've already read it. o.~)

Don't you ever wonder
Maybe if things had been slightly different
You could be somebody else
Don't you wonder
Maybe if you took a left turn instead of taking that right
You could be somebody different
Don't you ever wonder
Could I have been?
Don't you ever wonder
Anyone, anyone
Don't you ever wonder
Well, could I have been?
Don't you ever wonder
Anyone, anyone, anyone
Could I have been
A parking lot attendant?
Could I have been
A millionaire in Bellaire?
Well, could I have been
Lost somewhere at Red Rocks?
Could I have been
Your little sister?
Could I have been
Anyone other than me?
Could I have been
Oh, anyone other than me?
Oh, could I have been
Anyone other than me?
Could I have been
Anyone...

He stands, touch his hair, his shoes untied
Tongue gaping stare
Could I have been a magnet for money?
Could I have been anyone other than me?
Twenty-three and so tired of life
Such a shame to throw it all away
The images grow darker still
Could I have been anyone other than me?

And then I look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide
Lick and taste what's the use in worrying
What's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy

I am who I am who I am
Well, who am I?
Requesting some enlightenment
Could I have been anyone other than me

And then I'll sing and dance
I'll play for you tonight
The thrill of it all
Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes
But I'll work it out

And then I look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide
Lick and taste what's the use in worrying
What's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy

Falling out of a world of lies
Could I have been dancing nancy?
A dancing nancy
Could I have been anyone other than me?

And then I'll sing and dance
La la la
Hey, la la la
Hey, la la la
Sing and dance
La la la
Hey, la la la
Hey, la la la
Sing and dance
I'll play for you tonight
The thrill of it all
Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes
But I'll work it out

And then I look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide
Lick and taste what's the use in worrying
What's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy

(and that is why Dave songs are 9 minutes long)