So, I've been a good girl and have been allowed 30 mins online O:-) hehehe, acting is fun. So yeah...um...Last night I went to the Nutty Cracker with Jillian, her mom, and her aunt. It was good. Then to Gino's where Jill and I split a small pizza and only ate half of it....Lol, we're good. So then went back to Jillian's and plannd our next pirate movie (Which is awesome btw...Lol) Then we talked about xmas presents..(the one time of year I'm gad I don'thave a bf, haha to all you who have to shop for a guy...Hehe) Well, yeah. Then I left at like 10:30 an I go home...watched Pocahontas while reading Catcher In The Rye...don't ask me why lol. Then I snuck online and watched Little Mermaid and then I started Aladdin, but I died like 40 mins into it so I went to bed. Then I couldn't sleep so I adde a bunch of LOTR qutoes to the cover thingie over teh electric box....my ghetto room...hehe. Yeah, so then I slept and had this freaky dream, I'll tell you later. The whole "the jourmal ruins convo" theory...so I'm excited to tell pple abot my dream..I know you are too.

Plastic Trees
Good morning! :-) I got to sleep in today till a whole 11:35.... :-D Exciting, I know!!! So, I'm "grounded from the computer" again. Becase I slapped my brother at dinner....cuz he was being a jerk. But you see....We were in Maggiano's....and it was kinda his b-day dinner. So, my parents didn't like that one. Well, yeah...I watched the sound of music last night. I love that movie. And so...after that I watched Oliver and Company. Because I couldn't remember the songs from it and it was driving me crazy so I watched it. I like that movie too..."Why should I woorrry?? Why should I caarre? Ooo oooo ooo oooo ooo" Hehehe! I also made this picture with all theses disney charactors...Well, actually I traced them, but it was fun. I think it looks bad, but I like it. :-) So yeah, then decided I was tired and slept. Oo then Yasamin calls me at like 6:30 cuz she was coming to get the money and I'm like...Ok....and leaid back down and was like grrrrr I dont want to move...But then she called again thankfully(cuz I fell back alseep.) To tellme she was outside, so I brought the money...mumbled something...she told me I looked bad...and then I went downstairs and slept. And now I'm drinking this coffee drink I made up. mmmm...U should come over and try some, Its awesome. But but...we got our xmas tree today...and guess what? It's artifical....can u believe that?! I don't like that. Oh well, my familys choice. not mine. They're just too lazy to work. Well, I might see some of you later. Bye bye!

My kitty...
So, my cat's sick. Well, technically my sister's cat. But it has some infection where her tooth rotted and now her gums are all infected and she can't even open her left eye. Poor baby. :'(...So yeah, my parents want to go up to Chi-town tomorrow night and spend the night. Which I don't really want to do. I mean, sure I love my family, but its friday night. I was kinda hoping to do something with friends this weekend, ya know?? So blah...Hoping we don't go to Chicago and that my kitty gets better....:-\ Byee...
~Patrice

Stuff
So, today wasn't all that bad. I mean, I kinda broke down today and lost it, but I recovered. It's all good now. I don't know why I really lost it either. I guess I just....I honestly don't know. But I feel better now I think. I'm still insanly worried about a few things though. Yeah, first of all the whole props thing. I don't know what's gonna happen with that and I want it, but I don't. I want to do it, but I'm so scared that if I get it, I'll mess up. Now that I said it I'm not gonna get it...Blllaaaahhh....

And band...I just give up, I can't do it. I'm not smart enough. I honestly can't et the notes from the page to my brain to my fingers in the time I need to. I can't read bass clef that well above the staff and it takes a few seconds for me to figure it out then I have to figure out the high notes cuz I'm not that used to them, then with the rythmns and all that other stuff...I honestly can't do it. And it makes me sick with myself.

Oh, and guys are just jerks. Lol, but you all know that.

Well, on a happy note, Jillian and I finished our chem thing tonight...::phew:: Thank god. It's awesome too..with a cover page and all. I'm so proud. ::tear:: What else good happened today?? Hmmm...I can't think of anything lol. But I'm now surprisngly optimistic despite the fact that I have nothing going for me. Maybe that its cuz theres nothing, nothing good or bad...so then it leaves just optimism...it can be bad, but we shall see, no?

Um..forgive me for complaining about unimportant stuff. I know you all have worser stuff going on, I just need to say it...So yeah...

Oh, and good job to everyone who made call backs! Yay! Good luck 2morrow!

weirdness
So, yeah....Doom dum doooooo...Damn it. I..I...I...I....(that's what I feel like right now) Gah to me. I can't talk to people. especially people that I like. Which is bad. Stupid patrice. Kill her. Lol. This has been a pretty weird day. Hence the name. I don't know why either. Just has been. just......BLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ...well...yeah...Lol..g night...

Scary Thoughts
Well, I wanna write about this, but it'll be alot easier just to copy and paste the convo...

SneakySeaMonkey [7:13 PM]: holy shit, u know ive had my journal for 6 months now?? american english was a half year ago! and i've been hanging out with those pple now...for like...7ish months and i still just started talking to them...O.o;; wow...im in shock
toki358 [7:13 PM]: LOL
toki358 [7:13 PM]: wow patrice
SneakySeaMonkey [7:13 PM]: time should slow down
toki358 [7:13 PM]: wait american english was 6 months ago/
toki358 [7:13 PM]: yea it should!
SneakySeaMonkey [7:13 PM]: 5 monthsish
toki358 [7:14 PM]: but sitl....wow
SneakySeaMonkey [7:15 PM]: theres only like 8 more months until certain pple go away...my god...5 more months of school...wow..time is really flying this year
toki358 [7:15 PM]: shhh don't say that!!!!!
toki358 [7:15 PM]: it's still 1st semester....::sigh:: i should and shouldn't stay that way
SneakySeaMonkey [7:16 PM]: Yeah..
SneakySeaMonkey [7:16 PM]: Sandy Kim...i dont wanna grow up...i dont wanna be a senior
toki358 [7:16 PM]: *it should and it shouldn't
toki358 [7:17 PM]: thank u! so i'm not the only person who doesn't want to grow up
toki358 [7:17 PM]: everyone's like can't wait until i get out of highschool...i'm like no!
SneakySeaMonkey [7:18 PM]: i know...i cant imagine high school ending and being away from the pple i know now
toki358 [7:18 PM]: i know!
toki358 [7:18 PM]: it's a scary thought for me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time shuold stop. I'm so not kidding you. There's so much I want to do and not enough time and so much I want to happen and not enough time. I hate time. Tell it to slow down. This is like..wow...for me, its like my moment of realization. I'm gonna be a senior next year. I'm gonna be in college after that. And and and..wow.

I'm growing up. I'm 16 years old. I know, to some pple it's just like...oo 16? Whatever. Ive been alive for 16 years!! And one day seems like an eternity...then why did those 16 years go by so fast?

Even since I got my journal, onyl 6 months ago, it felt like things sucked and were terribly slow...but wow, it feels like just yesterday I was sitting in Jill's house telling her about my journal. Now I read through it and alot yet nothing has happened in these 6 months. I feel like I've wasted these months. I mean, sure, I've done lots of things that I am so glad I did, but I could have done so much.

I don't want to waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself or being sad. I'm only gonna be here for so long and my friends are only gonna be here for so long, if I spend the whole time complaining and saying how pple suck or life sucks, god, my life would have no purpose then. I mean, would someone who was positive or negtive have a better affect on you?

I feel like I'm in that mario game. Where teh background keeps moving but you have to keep up. And you can't slow it down, all you can do is run with it.

GAH!! I Don't wanna leave high school! :-( Grr...too much thinking, to bed I go...night...

Friday
So...Friday was interesting. Badish goodish interesting. Know what I mean? So, yesterday I hung out with Justin from like 2ish-6ish...and it was awkwardly weird.

Yeah..:-\...GAH! I HATE GUYS!!! >:-O :-(..

Well yeah, then I called Jackie cuz I was freaking out and she was cleaning her room. Yup. So I was talking to her and started cleaning my room. So yeah, she was all like "we should do something, I'll call you in a little"...

A little turned into an hour...but that's not her fault...Anyways, I got to watch Kim Possible's movie. "Oh wise one, What is the Meaning of life??" "Cheese!!!" It was some good shiznit.

So yeah, then she called and Benton picked me up and we went to Jackie's house.Then we went to Target and hehe, we won!! Cuz we ran away from Benton and Wender and we were like "We should hide by the car so they freak out when they try to find us, we'll be here!" Well, we didn't realize that 15 mins in winter weather was cold. But yeah..we ended up winning anyways cuz things were all twisty and they were "late" coming out of target. Mwehehe...

So yeah, Jackie and I were all laughing like HAHAHA and annoying them. So it was good fun. Then Jackie got her hand caught in the window. Then we went to Jackie's and umm...Jackie and Wender fell asleep and Benton was watching sportscenter and I was dazing off...yep...that was my fun night. Tonight I get to go to Jorie's mom's party thing...wooo. So yeah, i'll probably have stories about that..Ohh! And I had more dreams..hehe I know you want to hear them. Well, bye then!

Good Morning
Well good morning. Happy late Thanksgiving, since I forgot to wish Happy Thanksgivings yesterday. Yesterday wasn't too bad, I was surprised, I mean, a day with my family, yuo'd expect that to be hell. But thankfully Jackie was online from her cousin's house, so I had human interaction. Yeah, so I was pretty much just .....blah...all day yesterday. Then like at 11:00 I got this insane wave of energy. Like I was more hyper then I've ever been in like two weeks. The bad part: I was only talking to Justin and Wender...so yeah, I was going insane. But then Justin had to start talking all serious and Wender was all "I'm not gonna talk back" So I died. But I was still insanely awake. Crazy, eh?? So yeah, did you know there's nothing to do at quarter to two?? It sucks, So I'm gonna switch places with someone who lives in like Italy or GB or Ireland...anywhere but Libertyville/VH..cuz I'm bored of it. Um yes, I had a freaky weird dream last night. But I'll wait till you're there, cuz I h ad a story I wanted to tell people but I wrote about it here and everyone knew, I was like grrr...So HA! You'll have to wait...::clears throat:: :-D Ahhh, I have to like completly clean out my room today. And I have this feeling that I'll have to stay home all day and watch Joey. :-( I HATE MY FAMILY!! Justin's supposed to call me and I might do something with him and one of his friends that I don't know sometime this weekend, so blah. I kinda don't want to though. Cuz I dunno, I'm not good with new people. The only person I could talkt o the first time I met them was Jessica. Weird...I know. Anyways, I'm bored. If you're bored, call me.

Blaaahh
Why did you all have to go see The Producers?? I hate you, lol. Well, I'm loaded with stories today. Not really I got two actually I think. Or three. Well, I went to Bauer's class twice today ::kicks self:: Oh well, it was Jillian's class. So it was funish. :-)

And ummm...Oh, So I had Jackie's pink goo thing and I so was planning on giving it back to her after 8th...but I had Jill hold it for me while I was fixing my book load(since my damn bag broke... ) and Hul ran up behind her and stole it. So yeah, after, she comes up and is all "Where is it?!" And I figured Benton was in on it too, so I told her he had it. So she was all "where is it?!" And I guess he wasn't cuz he didn't know about it. Then I was getting blamed and I saw Hul and I'm like HE HAS IT! But he stupid kid denied it, oh but he ahs it. So jackie was all GRRR and I'm all GAH! HE HAS IT! Damn him...I'm so sorry Jackie!! I swear i do not know what Hul did with it! :-(

Oh and my other story, so in band today, me and this froshie were joking around about making this culb of people who laugh at poms(Don't ask...lol) So, I was all "Ok, next year we'll do it" and he's like "ok, and we'll get all these other cool pple in it" Blah blah blah...so as I had to go, i said "I'll call you about it.." Like hehe we're joking..I'm joking again, So i turn to walk out of the band room and he goes "do u have the cougar caller?" and I'm all...ummm..noo..and he's all "Oh, don't worry, I'll give u my number" I was just like "ok...umm I gotta put this away." Omg...I dunno if he was kidding, but I didn't mean it like that...and wow...it's weird...So yes, my stories. Enjoy. :-D

I HATE THE WORLLDD!!! GRRRRRR!! Lol, Okay, had to get that out. I'm ok now. Well, not really, as of right nwo I'm getting a 58.7% in algebra and my grade in history just dropped 16 percent cuz of one damn assignment. And I haven't made up my chem test yet and I'm gonna get a zero if I don't do it by Wednesday. So that's where I'll be during lunch tomorrow. Woo ::rolls eyes:: Oh and to further my joy..gabbie just got straight A's again. So now, again, I will be told how stupid I am because my 8th grade sister is getting better grades. GAH! I'm so pissed too cuz I had such good grades gor me. Now I'm not getting an A in anything. I had a fucking a+ in three classes, now its an F, B+, B, B- in my main classes. I am so screwed. Can I die for just the week the midterms come home? You have no idea how terrified I am of this. My dad is gonna kill me. :'( Damn grades!

(Oh, and mel, don't worry, its official. The scouring of the shire was never even filmed for the movie...peter jackson said he never liked the scene...and teh house of healing scenes were cut out too..but they'll be on the DVD..Bah peter jackson)