jordanmackenzie7
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2010 19 October :: 7.25pm
I am happy.
I am content.
It feels so good to say that.
<3
2 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 18 October :: 3.59pm
:: Mood: pensive
is that why they say people 'fall' for each other?
journal is going to be 9 years old this winter.
way to be fucking old, journal. you should try harder.
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i keep seeing all these people getting together. i suppose it's all part of the annual cycle. as gunnie said, it's the time of year when i really start wanting a girlfriend.
it seems like summer's all about being single, and going out and playing the field. but now that it's fall, people are all getting ready to settle down and prepare for the winter hibernation. plus i think there's just something romantic about the leaves and the harvest and all that. it's a nice time of year to appreciate the coziness and warmth that can be had in a relationship - especially a fresh one.
the more i see people shacking up (and for the first time ever, my sister is one of them... don't think i haven't noticed that she's been hiding him from the family), the more left out i feel. not that i want to be a part of the herd necessarily, but i like the coziness and the warm fuzzies. and it's really hard to get that by yourself. after all, i should know.
speaking of The Herd; chuck and i have begun writing our Cultural Revolution Manifesto, or CRM. it's currently a very rough first draft. once we do some editing, augmentation, and revisions, i will start posting up the revised copies as we finish them. neither of us is very motivated, so who knows how long it will be. but at least we're getting started.
peace out, mr. j. it's been a pleasure, as always.
p.s. went to visit mike yesterday. he's doing incredibly well, considering that 3 weeks ago he was as good as dead. seems to know what's going on for the most part, but still gets confused occasionally. at least his nurses are cute. that should make things more tolerable.
5 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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jayzulla
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2010 10 October :: 3.29am
Dirty rap music I love it.
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 30 September :: 4.58pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: The Eels
Just a quickie...
Been busting my ass lately. doing lots of digging, building, chainsawing, etc. at the boss's house. cut down a pine tree with the neighbor here at the house last weekend. busy busy busy.
but i have tomorrow off. i am sleeping in, goddammit.
it feels good to have been accomplishing stuff. and my muscles are really sore, but that should be a good thing, right? right.
last weekend our friend mike was in an accident. he was drunk, supposedly driving home, which doesn't explain what he was doing out on lincoln lake rd. when he was in GR, and lives in Grant. he hit a firetruck, which then rolled down an embankment. but at least he had prompt first aid. he's still unconscious in intensive care, but he seems to have stabilized a bit, and is even improving in some regards. it was pretty touch and go for awhile, and there's still the likelihood of paralysis, and a slight risk of brain damage. i guess at least he didn't kill anyone. it's weird, because mike has always driven drunk. i'm not sure if it's more surprising that it happened at all, or that it took this long. but, if you pray, he and his family really need it. i have been, in my own way.
sorry if that brought you down. just the facts of whats going on.
otherwise, it's life as usual. i actually have a bit of money in the bank, which blows my mind. and it's not a lot. so, i'm just waiting for something expensive to happen. but in the meantime, it feels good to have a little cushion. and gas in the truck.
now, to work on whittling away at some of that money and starting off my long weekend properly....
2 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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rayray
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2010 10 September :: 10.04am
So, I've concluded that watching Medical Miracles or whatever the name of the show is on Discovery Health, is not condusive to a good nights sleep..
There was a woman who was pregnant, but they kept telling her that it was just a cyst.. Well, after 9 months, she indeed had a child. However, that baby had a mass in its stomach that was an 18 week old fetus. It had a head, legs, and arms, with fingers and toes..
Trying to sleep with that in your head, is not easy.. And doesn't help when you already have strange dreams..
4 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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just_peachie
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2010 17 August :: 10.11am
the hardest part to swallow is I chose it, it didn't choose me.
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 11 August :: 12.51am
let's see....
canoe trip was fun.
cedar point was awesome.
i spent some time today tearing the mower apart, cleaning it out, replacing the fuel line, and then reassembling everything. it still ran like shit, but at least it still ran - i didn't break anything! which also means that it's probably the spark plug. i pulled it and it's pretty well fried, i think. sometimes it's hard to tell with those; they can look all crudded up and still fire okay. but since it's not running and i already checked pretty much everything else on the engine, process of elimination mandates that it is indeed the culprit. a new one will either confirm or deny the theory, at any rate. it's kinda dumb that i tore it all apart, and still didn't fix the problem, but the fuel line needed to be done anyway, so it worked out.
kinda taking a hiatus from the painting thing so i can help watch joe while he's up for the week. i do have to run and put in a bunch of screens at another house tomorrow afternoon. apparently the new tenants really want them. i have no idea if that hare-brained scheme of the hooks and latches is going to work, but there's only one way to find out.
dropped bruce's boat off at van's today. we'll see what they come up with. i wasn't there when he encountered the problem, so i have no idea what might be going on with that thing. invariably, it's something to do with the fact that he's left it sitting in the woods for the last two years, and has only taken it out on the water a select few occasions in that span of time. he's not very neat or clean or proper with that thing, all of which are kind of requisite. outboard motors are notoriously finnicky and demand special attention... which is why his never run correctly.
i did feel really dumb, though. i had to use chuck's truck to tow it down there, since i only have an 1 7/8" ball on my truck, and it's a 2" hitch on that trailer. but chuck's truck only has the round trailer light jack, while the trailer has a flat plug. so i drove it all the way to alpine without trailer lights, because i was running out of time and didn't know what else to do. i just had to get it done and get his truck back to him. after i drop it off, bruce calls to see how i'm doing. i explain about the plug thing, and he says, "isn't the adapter in that orange bin?"
"what orange bin?"
"the one i gave you with all the trailer hitch stuff in it"
". . . oh. that one. yeah, maybe. didn't think to check there."
i get home (sans trailer), and sure as shit, it's sitting right there in the orange bin with all the trailer hitch stuff. i felt like such a dumbass. and driving that thing over there without lights was no treat, let me tell you. people on alpine will tailgate and cut you off simultaneously, without warning; especially if you're towing something. and that's dangerous when they don't have any way of knowing you had to slam on your brakes for smiling Jack Asshole, who realized at the last possible second that this was his turn, so he darts across two lanes of traffic halfway through the intersection. yeah, alpine.
3 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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rayray
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2010 18 July :: 10.15am
Only roughly 111 more days..
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 16 July :: 3.03pm
my life right now
A breadth-first search makes a lot of sense for dating in general, actually; it suggests dating a bunch of people casually before getting serious, rather than having a series of five-year relationships one after the other.
3 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 13 July :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: BnL - Bank Job
life barrels on.
being single is not all it's cracked up to be. i know i'm pathetic, but it's just really nagging at me a lot lately. but at the same time, it's not good to be desperate. that would be a good way to rush into something ill-advised. i figure if i'm gonna be in a relationship, i would want it to be one worth having, and worth taking the time to do it properly. not that there's a rulebook on how those things work or anything, but i do know that it at least takes time and energy to cultivate something lasting. i feel like i'd probably prefer something with more longevity over something of a fling. even though the fling is less daunting, and could be lots of fun in the short haul.
but enough about that. i can't help but notice that a lot of my good friends keep moving away. which is fine, i'm very happy for them. but it makes me want to get the fuck outta here in a quick hurry. not that i'ma run off to japan or anything, but i really want to do something, ANYTHING to break up the monotony.
get a fucking job, you hippie.
which reminds me, i do have work tomorrow and thursday. hopefully that'll mean some gas in the truck, and maybe some grocery money for chuckles.
the drum lessons have been fun thus far, but i'm not sure how well i'm doing as an instructor, and they're definitely not breaking the bank. eh, whatevs. at least it's something.
oh, other exciting update! i was at becca's saturday night (well, sunday morning) and thrashed my foot pretty good on an angle bracket. considering how deep it is, it doesn't hurt too badly, and i've been fairly diligent about keeping it cleaned out and putting antibiotic ointment on it, but it's still not healing up any too quickly. it's a pain in the ass because it's right on my heel. i have this irrepressible tendency to walk on it. maybe i'll take pictures and post them up for funzies. evidence that i'm a dumbass and a klutz.
1 Bastard |
Step on my dreams
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skife
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2010 6 July :: 2.02pm
things are more different than they have ever been before, i'm scared out of my mind.
1 Bastard |
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 21 June :: 5.19pm
the entire time i have a woman, i'm bitching about her. (okay not really, but sometimes)
the minute i'm alone, i want one.
oh, the paradox that is me.
i suppose i'd have to stop hanging out with old people all the time to actually meet someone my age. but where's the fun in that?
4 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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skife
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2010 18 June :: 10.57am
i actually like getting up these days.
i get up, get around, go to work, enjoy what i do. i get to hang out with cool people at work, i have an awesome girlfriend. great friends.
this is my bfffy's birthweek so we get to celeberate. fuck yes!
i'm going to buy a motorcycle soon and sell the chevy, its a 60 mile round trip drive to work, gas is expensive in a jeep that only gets 16mpg
2 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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rayray
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2010 19 May :: 1.58pm
:: Music: Life After You - Daughtry
I used to think that I was going to be one of those people that lived alone with 50 million cats and grew old by myself.
Apparently, someone else had a different plan for me.
I never imagined myself being pregnant. Always swore it off and said it wasn't going to happen.
And no, I am not that girl that says "OMG! How did this happen?"
But something about being pregnant has changed me, other than the obvious things.
My outlook on life hasn't really changed, yet.
I still think the world is cruel, people are selfish, and I am more scared to raise a child in this world than I am to live the rest of my life in it.
I had to work my way up to taking a pregnancy test.
I was scared for the result, I had my hopes up for both possible answers.
Part of me knew what the test was going to say, but a piece of me doubted it.
Then for the next few weeks, it didn't seem real to me at all.
The only thing different in my life, was that I hadn't had a period and I didn't crave mountain dew.
At my 11 week appointment, the situation changed. I heard the heartbeat for the first time, and my hear grew a million sizes.
I knew it was real, but it still didn't feel real.
Since then, I have had cravings, ripped the ass out of my favorite jeans, cried an immense amount of tears about my pants not fitting, and grown out of all of my bra's in a weeks time.
I am becoming more annoyed with people, and have been having dreams that make it seem like I am smoking crack before I go to bed.
I had my 15 week appointment today.
I heard the heartbeat again, had blood drawn to test the baby for certain things, and scheduled my ultrasound.
Now things are becoming even more real.
I cannot wait to meet this little nugget.
I joke about my fears of ginormous ears, and reddish hair.
Now my BIGGEST fears are, that my child will hate me, be as shallow, selfish, emotional, and messed up as me.
I HOPE that my child is as athletic as his/her dad, as smart/funny as me, but knows that it has a HUGE family from both sides that will love him/her unconditionally no matter what.
I know I can't be a perfect parent, but I just want to be a good one.
I want my kid to understand that it's not always what you have in life that counts.
Step on my dreams
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spud
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2010 18 May :: 11.24am
wtf, mate
been feeling really weird and detached the past couple of days. not sure why. been more sober than usual (though still not completely) so maybe that's part of it. also, my dear seester is gonna be sixteen in a couple days. makes me feel fucking old.
also also, still no job. sucks ducks, man. need a job. handyman scheduled me for like 2 hours on friday this week. awesome. there's 10 dollars that i'll see in two weeks. fucking bullshit.
just not feeling very enthused about much of anything in general. would like to be excited about something - anything - soon, very soon.
4 Bastards stepped on my dreams |
Step on my dreams
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