Wicked Thoughts

Wicked Thoughts

:: 2005 13 September :: 2.41pm

sex is essential. i crave it like a lioness in heat and my boyfriend is still in texas. and i probably won't see him until christmas. masterbation gets old after a while. i need some sex. send me sex dammit!

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 13 September :: 9.59am

so right now i am supposed to be in intro to political thought... but i think i am going to drop that class, and take something interesting. don't get me wrong... i love politics, but the teacher blows. and thus i am skipping, along with sam and jackie.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 11 September :: 9.51pm

and then he decided not to talk to me...

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 11 September :: 11.45am

in the end maybe i am just a masochist. i am when it comes to sports, so why would it not be the same for a relationship. charlie, you are such a dear and what you said really helped. also i realized that all it probably comes down to is i love him, and i am afraid that he will never love me back. this is hard on both of us but most likely harder on him because i make it that way. neither of us asked for this to happen, but it did. it was an intervention, i just hope that we can help each other before we destroy ourselves.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 10 September :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: useless
:: Music: Laura Love- Punctured and hissing

mike and i are fighting. i have cried for at least 10 minutes everyday since wednesday, at least. i feel like a stupid child and like mike is some hardened old man. everything between us is so different now. since i got to school it feels as though i am just a nuisance. that is why i cried today. i don't think i am even going to see him before christmas. the thought kills me. it makes me cry everytime i think about it. and there isn't a damn thing i can do. i feel like he wants me to just go away and the thought of us being apart just kills.

it's worse when everyone around me is going home to see their boyfriends and their families. i thought i could handle this. why is it different? it isn't worth my while to go home, but i don't have anything to keep me here. and there isn't anywhere to go either. maybe it's just because i haven't found any friends but it just feels like high school. i hated high school. i am sick of being alone. i am sick of feeling like nobody wants me around.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 9 September :: 9.39pm

orange juice is soo gross. i need something to do. someone should drive 5 hours and visit my sorry ass. i am so bored. something needs to happen. i think next year i am going to transfer to a different school. somewhere closer to mike, then i can get a part time job and just live with him. who knows. that's the ideal thing i suppose. idk. we will see, time will tell.

why is orange juice so gross???

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 9 September :: 7.47pm
:: Music: Blink 182- Stay together for the kids

question of the night... should i go and work out? my roomie is at a cross country meet until like 10 or 11 and the other girls i talk to are at a party, so once again i am in my room... by my lonesome. uh yeah. so i can do homework or go to the tarc.

maybe i will do french and then go to the tarc. maybe. or i could just go get some fucking pizza.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 8 September :: 9.17pm

i finally talked to mike. i feel alot better now. i am really tired tho. i hate 8am classes everyday. but tomorrow is biology and french. i love french!

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 8 September :: 6.23pm

i wish someone would call that isn't my parents. i am so incredibly bored. i miss my phone. i have lost contact with the world. i haven't talked to mike for 4 days. i hate it. i need to have my phone!!!!

aside from that, my CSS teacher reminds me of Reed, but not bald. and my
Political Theory teacher is really boring. it's horrid to sit in his class for 2 hours and listen to him. My other teachers are great... well i don't know the guy that teaches my bio lab. but my actual teacher for that class is so cool.

also there is this kid who is in 3 of my classes named Sam, he is a football player, italian, also a Poli Sci major and he has a gorgeous chicago accent. he reminds me of the gotti boys. *drools* i kid. but seriously, there are so many great boys and they are all so fucking hot! it isn't fair. i swear, if i don't hear from mike by saturday i am going to do something stupid. as well as be extremely fucking pissed.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 7 September :: 11.27pm

#1 thing i hate... not being able to talk to mike. i really wish that he would call or something because i miss him so much

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 7 September :: 2.50pm

okay. so we have wireless in the dorms, but it doesn't always work... so i wrote this really long entry about how everything is and then it disconnected. so i guess i can just say that school is good. i'm still a loner. and i miss mike more than ever. it makes me die inside.

other than that i haven't smoked for a day and a half so that's good. and my room mate is nice but idk. i don't feel right around any of these people, they are all too uptight.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 6 September :: 5.41pm

so college is okay. but my roommate just asked me to go eat at the caf. so i guess i will tell you all what is up later

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 3 September :: 1.06am

so here it is. last entry before i leave. i have insomnia, i leave in 4 hours. last entry from this computer. last entry from michigan. he. and i still am in love with mike.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 29 August :: 10.50pm

i am definitley T.O.ed
so apparently people think that it is fun to fuck with my friendships. thanks so much. i never said i was going out with izzy. i never would have said i was going out with izzy and thanks to you gossiping bastards, he is pissed off at me for something that i never did.

now, i realize that his friends do not like me, and quite frankly i did not ask them to. all i wanted is to hang out with the kid. and now thanks to you rat bastards, i can't even do that.

thankfully i love mike, and am very happy with him. so suck it you stupid bitches!

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