spell out this love across the universe

:: 2005 21 January :: 8.48pm

Dumb little girls need to choke on a dick.

teehee.

6 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 21 January :: 7.21pm
:: Mood: in pain, cold, hot, sick, ect.

When I gave Jim the letter, I don't know if it made things better or worse. We talked about it.. and things are "okay" I guess? I dunno right now.

Today sucked pretty bad. I went to school and Nichole and I took our FBLA test, which we kicked ass on. Then after lunch I started getting really sick. I went to take a nap in the wrestling room during gym.. so after that I went to study hall in Mr. Maleckys room.. I was "tardy" because I was in the bathroom; I was getting so sick. I had a headache that went all through my room and down my spine. So I asked him to go to the office to go home. I stopped at the bathroom before I went down there to call my mom. I started crying because it hurt so much.

I went down to the office then I called the nurse, and she called my brother to come get me. When he finially got there we went home, I was so cold but burning up at the same time. The bumps going down my driveway hurt like hell, shit the whole car ride home hurt really bad. So I got home changed and got under the covers.. I was shaking so bad because I was so cold. I don't even know why though. I kept trying to fall asleep but I couldn't because I was so cold. I took my temp. and it's 101.5. I called my mom and she's coming home early tonight. I'm still hurting; I took some IBprofin. It helped a little I guess.

Jim is going to Grove City with his mom to see Jeff.. I am so mad. I yelled at him because I might be going to the hospital and he's still leaving.. but then he said his mom is making him. But whatever, she's fuckin' dumb.

Right now I'm just watching CSI in a blanket, HOOVING down PILLS, and talking to Becky. What a Friday night..

I'm a loser.

:: 2005 20 January :: 5.54pm
:: Mood: worried

So I wrote Jim a letter about what I talked about in my last "Friends Only" entry.. Amy gave it to him around 4 I think.. he still hasn't called me.

What's done is done I guess.. I hope he can understand my point of view though.

We'll see.

:: 2005 19 January :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: SPUNKY

SOOOOOOOOO.. today Kelly &I were late for school because when I called the snow line at 5:30 am it said we had a 2 hour delay.. but when I called again at around 7:30 am it said we had regular school hours.. So Kelly and I were really pissed, my mom called the school, so did hers. We went in at about 9:08, and they said that it was the schools fault and that we won't be counted as tardy. DAMN RIGHT. So I was supposed to go to 2nd period because it ends at 9:18, but I just walked around until it was about 9:17, then went in. It was Geometry and I hate that class.. *yawns*

I went to English, I was Banquo, the ghost.. [we're reading MacBeth] so I had to sit in a chair with a white over-coat thingy on my head while DJ read the part of MacBeth.. sexy.

Accounting was.. accounting. Boring, but educating. ;)

Then LUNCH, which is my favorite. It's definitly the best time to get all of your talkingness [word??] out.. I sit by BECKY, Rachel [Jims cousin], Janelle, Nichole, Steph, and sometimes this other girl.. Becky, what's her name?? Today was okay, but Steph wasn't here; so it coulda' been better.

Then 5th period I had gym with Beck.. I forgot my Tenners, so Mitch just let me take gym without them. Nice. Becky a few freshman and myself went in the mat room to JUMP ROPE with the BIG one. Nice. Fun. I hurt my ankle. Ouch. I'm over it now.

After that I have STUDY HALL WITH MR. M. Hahahaha, all I do in there is talk, walk around and play rock paper sissors with the teacher, he's funny. I basicly just sit there and talk to him the whole period, do arrands for him, or talk to George. But it's definitly fun in there. I'm bringing cards tomorrow to play. Nice.

7th period I have Child Development 2, definitly one of my favorite classes, though today we just took this Child Development test for IEP or something like that.. [is that right Becky??] and our class gets bonus points for everyone we get right. [Do you get bonus points to Becky??]

8th period is definitly one of the 2 least favorite classes. Being that I don't like/aren't friends with anyone in that class. They're all freshman.. so I kinda just chill out in that class. Biology is dumb. *sigh*

I came home then went up my Aunt Loraines.. took a nap on my cousin Donnies bed for about an hour.. then Donnie woke me up to eat. After we were done eating.. Kelly came up to play Dominos. Nice, I kicked everyones ASS. During my ASS KICKING time, Kelly and I were talking about when we were going to have our birthday parties. We talked for about I swear an hour; and every day that we wanted.. something was going on or it was supposed to snow and all this shit. So we finially got 2 seperate days picked out, then I said "Hey, why don't we have it together on the same day at the Sand Bar?" and then BOOM. Plans were made, people were called. Party on January 29, at 5:00. Be there or be square.

Since Kelly and Is birthdays are only 3 days apart, and were practicly sisters we're cool enough to do that.. but no one else is. ;) So we have everyone we want to invite written down.. all our friends [no Becky, you AREN'T invited.:)] It's gonna be great. Definitly.

After we were all done I fed Gabrielle her cereal and fed her some formula.. now she's fast asleep in her bed. God, she is so pretty. But anyways, I'm gonna go call Jim..
<3

Read more..

6 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 18 January :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: calm

..haha funny "revised" nursery rhymes.

Mary had a little lamb
She tied him to the heater
Every time Mary went by
He'd burn his little peter!

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Her clothes all tattered and torn
It was not the spider
That crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider, that sat down beside her
And said "What's in the bowl Bitch!?!?"

Hickoy Dickory Dock
Three mice climbed up the clock
The clock struck one
And the other two escaped with minor injuries.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To Have a little fun
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son

Hey Diddle, Diddle,
The cat had to piddle
All over the bedside clock
The little dog laughed to see such fun
When the cat died of electrical shock

Georgie Pordgy Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

5 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 17 January :: 8.21pm

The best time to talk about
everything and anything is at night,
when you're falling asleep right
next to the person you love.
<3 Jim

:: 2005 17 January :: 7.26pm
:: Mood: bitchy

Well, I think maybe I'm in a better mood now to write some more things that happened this weekend.. but very sparsly.

Friday Rochelle came over, we hung out- did nothing except eat. But it was definitly fun. She stayed the night- we watched movies and did "girl stuff" hehe. Then her mom took me to Jims house Saturday morning arund 2 or so. The roads were bad.

[insert last entry here]

Then today BECKY CALLED ME.. but I will never uncover what she said to me on the phone; because she's a dumb bucket.

So I came home today.. and what else is new it's hell, as always. Being that the girls and I just cleaned the house on Friday, I came home today and the place is a dump already. I don't understand anymore. IT PISSES ME OFF SO BADLY.

"happy birthday" lmao.. sorry.

I can't wait.. 18 here I come. Next year

:: 2005 17 January :: 4.50pm
:: Mood: blah

So yesterday I stayed at Jims.. I played his PS2 a 'lil, then we had a roll in the sack. Haha, I'm just jokin'.. anyways, I didn't eat anything all day 'cause Jim didn't have anything to eat at his house. His mom came home at around 9:00 at night and took Gabrielle off Jim, that just ticks me off anymore. It's his baby, not hers. He barely gets to see her as it is, and then she takes her off of him.. anyways, Gab was getting really fussy and starting to cry and everything so I was getting really antsy, I hate when Gabrielle cries, and I especially hate when she cries and someone else has her. So I was trying to let Donna handle her; but she kept doing the wrong things. I knew what was wrong with her; she was tired. I tried to say that but nooo.. she "ate too much" uhhh.. okay, I think I would know if my own daughter ate too much. So finially I just took Gabrielle off of her and went up stairs so I could put her to bed. When I was on my way down I heard her talking about me, lmao.. do you think I can't hear you? ANYWAYS, I got mad at just stayed upstairs for like 5 more minutes then went down. She went upstairs and took the phone to call Ronnie. Jim and I went to bed about 30 minutes later.

We woke up around 9:00 the next day and just chilled. Now here I am. School tomorrow. *sigh*

[[edit: 6:09 PM]]
It never fails, when I come home; it gets worse every time.
[[/edit]]

:: 2005 14 January :: 8.29pm
:: Mood: stressed x10

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!

You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

1 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 14 January :: 12.13pm
:: Mood: stressed

I stayed home today.. I tried and tried to get my mom up, but she wouldn't wake. And Gab was crying/hungry when I left, so I just stayed home. Then my mom came in at about 10:00 yelling at me because I stayed home and how she's gonna go to jail because I'm missing to many days and how the reason she didn't wake up is because the monitor in her room isn't on.. so I told her that I tried to wake her up and the monitor in her room WAS on, but I turned it off when I stayed home because I figured she didn't need to be bothered if I was going to be home. So she didn't believe me and got mad then stormed into her room bitching about how messy the house is.

So I waited a couple minutes then I got something I wanted to show her and knocked on her door to let her see.. she read it, then she started saying something to me, I don't really even remember what it was exactly; but it made me mad.. then she was going on about how she's not apperciated and that how she takes "YOUR BABY TO THE BAR EVERYDAY, WHILE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING.. I CARRY HER ON MY HIP WHILE I'M BAR TENDING, WAITRESSING, AND DOING WHATEVER ELSE NEEDS DONE." ..That really pissed me off right there, so I said "Fine, then I'll just stay home and watch MY baby." "And what; drop out of school? I don't think so." I told her that I'll just have Tammy watch Gabrielle like she was supposed to in the first place, that I'd rather have Tammy watch Gabrielle than her because at least I won't hear her bitching all the time about it. She started saying something else but I was walking out and didn't really pay any attention.. but I heard "I'm just tired of not being apperciated" as I walked through the door.. I turned around and said "So am I." and I slammed her door.

After that I went into my room and called Jim, I asked him if he could come get me.. he told me to call him back in about 5 minutes.. so I got all of Gabrielles &mines things ready so I would be ready to leave when he got here. But my mom tried to come in, I had my door locked &I wouldn't let her in. But I did finially did. She was saying how she did apperciate me, and all this other shit that I didn't even pay attention to. She said something about how she knows that I want to leave now and that all I have is about a year left then I can move out.. but how she doesn't want to loose me. She also said that she didn't know how I was going to move out if I planned on going to collegge with a baby.. But after a few minutes of me just sitting there and her talking she left.

I called Jim back and he said that he can get me a ride.. but I said that I couldn't go because I had to watch my sisters. I guess I'm kinda stupid because I just can't ever leave my sisters, no matter what I want to do, I always think of them before I think of myself, same with Gabrielle. <3

So my mom &George left to go to the bar; Dustin's sleeping in my moms' bed, Gabrielle's sleeping on my bed, and I'm just sitting here; trying to make myself feel better for everything that's going on.

But it's not working.

:: 2005 13 January :: 6.15pm

I'm not to sure if I'm even wanted around here anymore.

I can't handle this house anymore.

Maybe I should just leave. I think it'd be better for everyone.

7 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 13 January :: 3.56pm

My Phase is Olbos

Which Phase of the Greek Tragic Cycle Are You?

Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons

CMNT.

:: 2005 12 January :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: pissed off

So today I got this letter in the mail from the school it says something along the lines of "You have missed 12 days of unexcuesed/illegal absences, please call the school board committee by January 12 to set up an appointment to clear this matter up. If you do not call by the 12th, you will not get any credit for any of your courses for 2004-05 school year."

Okay, well I didn't even get the letter until today, and when I got home and tried to call, no one was there. So lets see; my mom and I are kinda very pissed off because I should only have 4 unexcuesed days, and YES I have been keeping track of when I missed ect.. there is no way in hell I should have 12.

But anyways, Jim came to pick me up to take me to school today. We stopped and got a Smuffin at Sheetz. He's so cute.. but anyways, I'm gonna try to get him to do that more often, because I miss not seeing him 24/7 like I used to.. *sigh* over his house tomorrow maybe.. depending on if my moms back is feeling better. [yes.. she hurt her back again.. ahhh]

Otherwise, nothing really happened at school.. I was loud and obnoxious as usual. :-P

oh yeah!!! I was looking at PROM DRESSES.. I FOUND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRESS EVER.. my mom and I are going to get it next week.. it's in Ohio.

<3

:: 2005 11 January :: 11.32pm
:: Music: Jim

Type your username with your:

nose: xxnterruptedd

elbow: zxxzcinmtyerfrfrju;pterxc

tongue: xxinterrpted

chin: xcxiknbgftdffrjuh;pgtdec

eyes closed and one finger: xxubtwerrupted

back of hand: dxd98 knbteroptecd

palm: xcxmyrtrtr';[p0hteevf

wrist: xcxcnmtyertrtrui';[pty

err.. hard, try it.

:: 2005 11 January :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: apathetic

Today was a pretty bad day. I was in a bad mood when I got home, so I took an hour long nap. Now I'm okay. I'm chillin' out with a Mike's Hard Lemonade.

7 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 10 January :: 10.45am
:: Mood: okay

So last night I went to help my mom waitress at the bar.. I made $135.. [just in tips] so now I can finially buy Gab some things that she needs.

But anyways, today I stayed home.. Anna &Gab are sick.

<3

13 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 9 January :: 1.00am
:: Mood: worried

I don't know.. Gabrielle is sick. She just has a little cold, but I'm really worried. She sleeps practicly all day. She's very congested, and when she coughs you can hear the mucus running down her throat.. I'm so scared she's gonna choke or something. Kelly just left about a half hour ago.. and so far, I can't sleep. I'm just worried I guess..

1 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 8 January :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: *sigh* x100

Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:25:57 PM): so you spent the night at jims?
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:25:57 PM): :-D
lets xx hug (8:26:02 PM): yessssssss.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:26:14 PM): awweness*! just you and him? no gab?
lets xx hug (8:26:31 PM): yeah gab is sick, I didn't want her to get worse by taking her out in the rain/cold.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:27:00 PM): well thats okay, even if she wasnt sick, you guys need time to yourself.
lets xx hug (8:27:07 PM): yeah, I felt bad though
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:27:09 PM): so, did you get things straight, like- you know you love him now? lmao
lets xx hug (8:27:13 PM): haha
lets xx hug (8:27:30 PM): I think it's like when we're apart I think bad things.. but when we're together everythings okay. It sucks
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:04 PM): SAME HERE!
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:14 PM): :-( it does suck
lets xx hug (8:28:16 PM): ahhh.. i hate it
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:46 PM): me too

too true.. <3 you Beck.

:: 2005 8 January :: 6.02pm
:: Mood: bouncy

ahhhhhhhhh.. I had THE BEST time staying over Jims house last night.. wow, I can definitly say that I am one of the happiest girls in the world.

Let's see.. Friday when I got there we just watched some tv ect.. then we went up in his room and talked. I started crying because I said I was a bad mom, and we talked about that for like a long time.. and he made me feel 110% better.. we ordered pizza, CHICKEN RANCH! Then watched some movies.. I went to bed at like 12:30, I made Jim come up and give me a full body massage, then I wouldn't let him go back downstairs until I fell asleep.

We woke up around 12:45 when my mom called me to ask me when I was coming home. Sooo.. I told her around 4:30. We got up ate some left over pizza, watched some movies.. then went back up in his room. We played a game I made up called "Licking game" hahaha, sooo fun. Definitly. <3

Now I'm home.. Gab is up my aunt Loraines, Kelly and I are eating some raviolies and going to watch Spider Man 2 on DVD.

If anyone wants any Girl Scout cookies.. my sister is selling them, so just tell me!!

:: 2005 7 January :: 4.57pm
:: Mood: mellow

Soooo.. lets recap what happened this week.

I made myself a better person by letting go what happened [or what didn't happen] what Jim and Jessica. I appoligized to her, and told her that I went phyco because I felt threated.. I was 7 months pregnant. So I don't care about that anymore. It's over and done with.

It's really been a boring week other than that.

I'm going to Jims house tonight.. &STAYING OVER. :-P Soooo.. I'll write when I get home. I'm debating whether or not to take Gab.. I want to, but I kinda wanna spend some time alone with Jim. *sigh*

:: 2005 6 January :: 8.50pm
:: Mood: *sigh*

I miss the days when I was in love.

I miss crushes.

I just miss acting my age.

I wish I was happy.

:: 2005 5 January :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: tired

just me.. I was in the rain, so I look like poo.

Gabrielle.. 3 months and 4 days. <3

:: 2005 4 January :: 6.12pm

I'm on myspace.com and looking at all the "parent groups" "mommies groups" ect.

I was looking at this one topic "How old are you when you had your first" and I just started crying when I was reading it.. why? I'm not sure; maybe because I could never have imagined how many people my age have gotten pregnant. I guess I'm a lot more scared that I lead on to be. It is scary.. I think about it all the time. Will I be a good mom? What if something happens and I don't know how to deel with it? How am I going to pay for everything? And just all these other things. It's really upseting me anymore. I just don't want to be a bad mom.

I'm glad I've gotten that off my chest, I feel a little better now. It just feels good to realize I've got people out there like me.

6 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 4 January :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: blah

So today I realized that I think someone in school is HOTT. Oh baby oh baby, yes.. go ahead and ask me who!

Anyways,
Boring day, I yelled at some people, I laughed, I screamed, I whispered, and I had a good day. *smiles*

Well, Jim was supposed to come get me at school, but he ended up not. So we got into a fight.

That is all.

:: 2005 3 January :: 10.32am

The beautiful is ugly, and the ugly is beautiful.
-SHAKESPEARE; MACBETH

8 ! | CMNT.

:: 2005 2 January :: 8.16pm

I wish I could fly.

:: 2005 2 January :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: cranky

Well lets see, how that I've cleared up me not being a "slut" and no one left a comment asking me anything else.. I expect not to be called that again.

Now I was supposed to go Jims house today.. but noo my mom all the sudden coundn't take my sisters with them.. so I had to stay home and watch them.. okay; It's okay if I have plans.. don't worry about me.. I don't mind. WTF? HI, I'M A FUCKIN' PERSON TO. I HAVE FEELINGS, I WOULD LIKE TO GET OUT OF THIS PRISION.

I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL MY 18TH BIRTHDAY.. but yet my 17th birthday is in 25 days. *sighs* I fuckin' can not wait until I leave. I just can't wait.

Well anyways, I was up my Aunt Loraines for dinner.. we ate blah blah blah.. then my cousin Doug just kept yelling and yelling at Anna for doing something that he "thought" she was doing.. I got really pissed off and we all left. Then my Aunt Loraine got mad at me and asked me to please not leave.. but I left anyways, Anna's not going to get yelled at all the time for things she's not doing wrong. ANYWAYS..

I gave my Aunt Loraine $40 dollars for almost brand new crib&changing table.. I told her it was my moms money; [she didn't want me to pay for it so I could buy a car seat and a mattress] but I just told her it was my moms money.. but I don't think she believed me. Mmmmm.. I hope she doesn't ask my mom. And really, I just really hate asking my mom to buy me anything.. she brings it up in our fights all the time, and makes me feel bad about everything. Hey if she would let me move out.. I would. But she's just controlling me in everything I do, so I can't do anything anymore. But that's enough about that.. because I'm getting irate.

Ahhh. I WANT MY LIFE BACK.

:: 2005 1 January :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: lagwagon - tomorrow is heartbreak

My new years resolution is too lose a few pounds, eat better and exercise.

Now for my real entry. SLUT?

Well, I got a call last night.. I guess that's what I get for leaving my number online for people to see.. but anyways, they kept saying how I was a slut and everything.. well now lets clear a few things up.

1. Yes, I do have a 3 month old daughter.. [[SHES 3 MONTHS OLD TODAY!!]] her name is Gabrielle.
2. No I haven't had sex with multipul people.
3. Yes, I've had sex with one person, and only one person. And yes that's Jim, and YES Gabrielle is his daughter.
4. No matter what you've heard about me, it probably isn't true. I went through a "slutty stage" where I pretended like I was a slut; but in reality I just wanted attention. [[yes;; the attention whore I am.]]
5. No, I've never cheated on Jim.. and I won't ever cheat on him. Yes I've thought other guys were "cute" or "hott" or however you want to say it.. but I haven't ever actually acted on them.

Well, if anyone has anymore questions just leave a comment, and I'll be sure you answer.

I just wanted to start a new year fresh. :)

8 ! | CMNT.

:: 2004 30 December :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: irate
:: Music: pinebender - begin here

I went shopping today with Amy.

Here's a picture of my cool self.