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:: 2004 19 October :: 1.08am
:: Mood: touched

i was sitting here earilier today flipping through the channels while gabrielle was sleeping, and i turned on Maternity Ward on TLC. there was a women in labor.. i remembered when i was in her place, sitting in the hospital getting an epidural. having gabrielle was the most wonderful experience of my whole life, and i know it will be for the rest of my life. i just hope that when you [the person that's reading my journal] have a child, you'll feel the same. it's amazing how much i love her. i never thought i could love anyone this much. and i mean it's a totally different kind of love from the way i love jim.. i don't know it's hard to explain. one day when you have kids, you'll think back and say "hey, that one chick said i'd feel something like this.. now i know what she means." *sighs* okay, i'll get off my soap box.

gabrielle just fell back asleep.. but i'm not really tired; so i thought i'd rant on here for a bit.

today i didn't do much, took care of the baby, jim and his mom stopped down for a bit and visited. kelly came over to, then we went over her house to get something to eat and watched sixteen candles. that movie is so cute. *smiles* ahhh..

anyways.. it was raining all day today, it was miserable. i think i'm getting a cold.

so sometimes i get bored and i go into chatrooms on aol. i don't talk, i don't really do anything except read the convos in the room [they make me laugh.. haha] but anyways, if someone IM's me; i'll talk. then as soon as i say something about me having a baby- they stop talking. now why is that? is it a scary thing to have a baby? do i scare people now? haha; it makes me laugh.. i just thought i'd share that with everyone.

hmmm.. i have to get a costume for saturday.. it's the costume party at the bar.. i'm waitressing. so i'm thinking of ideas.. help!

kelly, if you're reading this in school- leave me a note telling me what time your computer class is so i can get online to talk to you!

well, i'm off to bed.. gonna try to get some sleep before i have to get up with gabrielle.

<3

:: 2004 17 October :: 1.25pm
:: Mood: cold.. i don't think that's a mood, but oh well.
:: Music: the river runs through it [a good movie]

i'm so cold, my fingers hurt. *turns up the heat*

we went to the doctors on friday for gabrielle. she now weighs 9 pounds, 13 ounces.. she gained a pound and 2 ounces in a week and a half.. goodness! but everything else is okay, she's a healthy little girl!

i went to the mall friday night and bought her the cutest outfit from the gap.. [i spent all my money, because they're so expensive there..] but it was worth it, because it is so cute.

today i think jim is coming to get me and the baby around 5-6, then we're going to get a crib for jims house out his dads. we'll see.

:: 2004 14 October :: 10.23pm
:: Mood: grumpy

so, jim the baby and i were supposed to go to the mall, but since jims car is broke.. he had to find a ride to meet his probation officer.. and he couldn't get a ride back, so we didn't go. my mom, the baby and i went. i bought myself some new clothes. :) i looked to buy gabby some things, but i didn't see anything that i liked. so after that we ran to wal*mart, then we went home.

*yawn*

:: 2004 14 October :: 6.21am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: jim talking in his sleep.

yeah, i'm tired.. this is the 2nd time tonight i've been up. *yawn* but anyways, gabrielle just fell asleep. i just got done feeding her her bottle. i layed her on my bed right next to me- i'm scared she'll wake up if i move her into her bed. earlier tonight when i was burping her i went and sat on my couch and i fell asleep with her on my shoulder for an hour and a half.. haha. uh-oh, she woke up.

i better go before she starts crying.. update more later, lots to tell about yesterday.

[EDIT 6:35]

okay, i'm back. well lets see. yesterday was pretty boring after jim left.. i just waited for him to get back over here. i gave up on him coming over around 7:00, and took a nap because i had a migrane. thank goodness the baby was sleeping. i woke up about 5 minutes later to my cell phone ringing and it was jim. i was grouchy and we hung up. then the next thing i knew he was over here. *sigh* i love him.

well me, being the pig that i am was hungry for pizza so i called up the mingo twist n shake at 8:47 to order something (they close at 9:00!) but noooooo.. it was "too late" wtf? i was so pissed off. so jim made me order something from kuzins. [and of course i got a large chicken ranch pizza.] so he left to get it, and i went up my aunt loraines. thank god i gave him my cell phone to take with him.. because his car broke down. *sigh* sooo- my uncle don, donnie, jeff and myself went to pick him up. when we got back matt and jim went to get it towed [thanks a lot matt!!] so today hopefully matt can get off work to help with the car. so here i am now, bored, tired, and not able to sleep.

today, jim has to run to cokeburg to get his paycheck, get that cashed, come back here to look at his car [or maybe do that the other way around.] then go get the parts to fix it.. and then we're [jim, gabrielle and i] are going to the mall. awww.. i can't wait!

okay, well i'm gonna go brush my teeth then get something to eat.. *yawn* then if gabrielle doesn't wake up, i'll get some more sleep.

leave some comments, [even if you don't have a journal!!] i get bored!

[/EDIT 6:45]

<3<3

:: 2004 13 October :: 1.50pm

i think i might re-do my journal again..
yes, i have no life- even with a baby.

my inspiration is..

this green dot.

on another note.. seven springs was okay, i had some fun, strolled gabrielle around the hotel. everyone was like "awwww" i was thinking to myself "stfu, leave us alone.." haha. anyways, we got home around 5:30 yesterday. i took a 4 hour nap and my mom watched gabrielle.. i felt like i got the shit beat out of me. i was so tired and weak. it was a long day. i woke up at 6:30, and then we walked all day til 4. meanwhile i was in pain because i'm still not completely healed from labor.. blah. i was a mess yesterday.

but i feel better now.

jim stopped down for his lunch break. :) that made me happy. he's gonna come back after he gets off work at 5 or 6.

*yawns* time to give gabrielle her bottle.

<3 you all.

:: 2004 12 October :: 11.37pm

yes, i fit into my jeans from BEFORE i was pregnant.

:: 2004 9 October :: 3.48pm
:: Mood: calm

a picture of gabrielle.. and other things.

a picture of gabrielle
1 day old

i have a whole bunch of other pictures on my digital camera, but i bent the cord that connects the camera to the computer to upload them onto it.. so for now, that's the only one i have. :(

i haven't updated in a long time, or noted anyone- sorry for that! i've been recoperating from delivery, and most of the time i'm just to tired to sit on the computer. but i'm feeling a lot better now.

i've just been at home for the past week.. i can't believe gabrielle is already 8 days old! it's gone by so fast. she's such a good baby- she hardly cries.. and only wakes up 2-3 times a night. *knocks on wood* i don't want that to change! lol

i'm just sitting here waiting for jims mom to get back to pick me up. she came out here about 20 minutes ago to get gabrielle and myself- but jim told me she wasnt' coming until 5:30-6:00, and my mom has the car seat in her car. so she ran out to buy a car seat. she should be back here soon. we're going to a picnic. jim will be there around 5:30-6:00.

*yawn* i gotta finish getting things ready to go for gabrielle, i'll update more later!

<3 <3

:: 2004 4 October :: 2.24am
:: Mood: happy

Gabrielle Marie Kress
born on 10/1/04 at 12:57 pm
length 22' 8 lbs. 11 oz.
washington hospital

:: 2004 30 September :: 7.04pm
:: Mood: shocked

i'm having the baby tomorrow!!!!
i went to the doctors today, since i'm 2 days late the doctor is just going to induce me tomorrow. i have to be at the hospital at 6:00 am.

WISH ME LUCK! i'm scared!

:: 2004 28 September :: 3.37pm
:: Mood: excited / scared / hopeful
:: Music: our lady peace - clumsy

today's the big day!
..but no baby yet.

i can't believe it's september 28th already.. ahh. i just want to get it over with! i'm scared. i think everyones more excited than me; i'm more scared than anything. well it's an exciting / scared feeling.. but i just wish everyone would stop asking me if it's time yet. it really really gets on my nerves.. i'll tell everyone when it's time!

i just hope the baby comes today; i can't stand being pregnant anymore.. i hate having to pee 3 times an hour! haha- *sigh* i'll probably end up being about 2 weeks late just because i said that.

wish me luck!

<3<3

:: 2004 23 September :: 9.19pm
:: Mood: giddy

*hopefuly* my last doctors apointment today!
i went to the doctors today, for hopefuly my last apointment being pregnant! my next apointment schedualed is on the 29th- a day after my due date.. so i'm hoping i won't have to show up! :)

i'm 3 centimeters dialated!

woo! go me! the doctor said i'm doing great, and then when i do go into labor he thinks i'll be already about 6 centimeters dialated; which is a pretty good thing.. that means i won't have long to wait til 10 centimeters, then i can have the baby. :)

only 5 more days!

amy.. damn 2 inchers! :-0

:: 2004 21 September :: 10.08pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: charmed on tv

it's been a long day.
today was a really long day.. i woke up at 6:30, fell back asleep til 7:00 and called jim. then i noticed that my sisters weren't up yet so i got up outta bed and woke them up.. anna threw this big fit because sam wouldn't get her something to wear, and that kept me up so i just stayed up. i hung all the baby clothes up and sorted everything out finially. then i fell back asleep around 11:30 and woke up at 12:45-1:00. i woke up and re-did my journal.. then i browsed online for a bit. then i made some dinner for me and my sisters. anna helped me clean my room. it looks good- i set up the playard.. i had to open something up- it was driving me crazy. *yawn* my next doctors apointment is on the 23rd (thursday).

[edit] 11.17pm my gram went into the hospital today- she has some sorta infection. everyone pray that she's okay and out soon. [/edit]

only 7 more days!

:: 2004 20 September :: 4.59pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: baby einstein's "baby bach" - #3 on the cd (it's a long title to type out!)

the music is on my belly with head phones for the baby.

i stayed at jims house all weekend. just got home about an hour and a half ago.

i don't know, theres nothing really to say- i never feel like updating in here anymore. i guess because i really don't do anything to write in here.. haha.

we rented some movies, barber shop 2, thirt3en ghosts, and the butterfly effect.. that was an awesome movie- we watched the different endings and i didn't like the directors cut. :(

my mom and i are going to go to baby depot today to exchange some things.

jim got a job at psi- it's a trucking company. i'm so happy :)

*yawn* i'm so tired anymore. the baby kicks constantly and keeps me up all night.. i'm ready for her to come out! :-P
only 8 more days!

:: 2004 17 September :: 1.03pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: yellowcard - ocean avenue

so my gram and i were looking on the calendar the other day and we noticed that the 28th [the day the baby's due] is a full moon! i dunno, i really think i might just have this baby exactly on the due date- that would be neat.

<3

:: 2004 14 September :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: excited

i went to the doctors today..
and i'm 1 centimeter dialated!!!!! omgosh! i'm so excited! :-D

the doctor gave me an excuse to not go back to school until after the baby is born.

only 14 more days!

<3

:: 2004 13 September :: 12.35pm
:: Mood: bitchy

only 15 more days til the baby's due.

i stayed over jims house for the weekend.. i had a good time. i don't really feel like typing out what we did though- i'm tired and i want to go home and take a nap. only 2 more periods after this one.. i don't know if i'll make it though. i stayed at jims house last night and went to bed about mindnight.. so i'm falling asleep in class.

i have my doctors apointment tomorrow- *yawn* it's after school this time which is good.

i'll guess i'll update more later.. maybe not- i don't know yet. depends on how i feel.

i can't believe it was 9-11 already.. 3 years.

<3

:: 2004 9 September :: 9.08pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: CSI on tv

survey
Read more..

<3

:: 2004 8 September :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: tired

give me lots of hugs!

give me hugs!
(click that!) ^^

:: 2004 5 September :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: orgy - stitches

i'm sittin' here over jims house.. the baby is kicking. it's getting closer and closer to the due date- only 24 more days, i'm scared!

i've been over here since friday.. yesterday we went down to the park and the coal miners were having a picnic so we got something to eat and hung out with some people. i saw my sisters [they're at their dads house this weekend] there because their dad is a coal miner. and it was my sister sams birthday yesterday so i got to say happy birthday to her. :)

we didn't really do anything today- we were going to go fishing but then our ride didn't show up. so we just chilled at jims house. we made pork chops, green beans and white potatoes for dinner. it was good.

tomorrow we're going with my brother and his girlfriend to the renassiance festival tomorrow.

we're going to watch some tv..

<3

:: 2004 3 September :: 12.49pm
:: Mood: stressed

right now i'm in 6th period study hall.. blah, it's been a long day. i didn't go to school yesterday, and i wasn't going to go today- but at the last minute this morning i changed my mind and went.

i'm going over jims house tonight; i can't wait to get out of the hell hole of a house. i hate it there, and i hate watching my little sisters. god i almost had a break down last night and almost killed anna. [jim, you know what i'm talking about.] i can't handle all this anymore, it's to much stress. i've been a wreck the past couple of days.

our periods are shortened today because we have homeroom/activity period.. so that's cool. i can't wait to go home and go to jims house. i miss him.

:(

:: 2004 2 September :: 8.59pm
:: Mood: content

Bored?

�	�	�	�	�
Why not pretend that you're going to kill yourself?
Support?

:: 2004 1 September :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: bored

haha, the funny things i find.
when i bite into a york peppermint patty, i feel the cool rush of skiing in the alps, skating in alaska, or bobsleeding in lake pacid! but while i'm enjoying my york peppermint patty, the rush makes me oblivious to the chocolate melting in my hands.

the chocolate gets on my keyboard, my mouse, my desk, and every to every other spot to which chocolate can stick.. and when i go to throw away my york peppermint patty, i trip over a shoe because im to bussy looking for a paper towel. i fall over and hit my head on the corner of my desk, cutting it deeply. the sight of my own blood causes me to regurgitate my york peppermint patty. getting up and runing to the phone to call 911, i slip on vmy own vomit, fall down again, and break my neck.

and so my warning to all: dont smoke pot before eating a york peppermint patty.

:: 2004 31 August :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: exhausted

right now i'm just sitting here with jim.. he's playing playstation.

i got picked up from school at 11:30 today. i had a doctors apointment.. i gained 4 pounds.. i weigh 164. everything looks okay, babys heart beat is strong. jim & my mom went with me.

i fell asleep in class again today, i need to start going to sleep earlier.. 10:00 is to late i guess. blah- the baby kicks and keeps me up all night. the doctor said if i could make it through the next 2 weeks of school that he could write me an excuse for the rest off til i have the baby.. then i could go back in 6-8 weeks. but i don't think i'm going to do that.

blah, i'm so tired- time for bed.

<3

:: 2004 29 August :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: taking back sunday - a decade under the influence

i woke up at 9:00.. i went up my aunts and helped her get food ready for my baby shower.. by the time we were all done with everything it was almost noon.. and we had to leave by 12:30 to start setting up and everything for the shower.

people started getting there around 1:30. everyone except 2 people from jims family that we invited came.. i was so glad! almost all my family that we invited came to. i was so happy that people actually came. i stressed myself out for nothing.. [you were right kristen! lol]

we got so much stuff! a lot of the big things on my regestry were bought for me like my swing, highchair, palyard, and exersaucer. we got so many outfits and blankets, and everything. when we brought everything home i didn't have enough room in my room so we had to fill my living room up.. ahh. i don't know what i'm going to do with all the things!

jim came to, his mom had to leave early for work so he video taped the whole thing.

i'm still so happy about the turn out. we got so many things that we needed.

anyways, jim came back to my house with me for a couple hours, we went swimming and went through some of the things that we got. he's coming back over tomorrow.

:: 2004 28 August :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: nervous

omgosh, my baby shower is tomorrow at 2:00.. i'm so nervous. today my aunt loraine, aunt di, kelly and i went to set up for it.

what if no one comes?

i keep sitting here and thinking about it, i've been stressing myself out about it for a week or so now.. god i can't believe how scared i am.

:: 2004 25 August :: 5.58pm
:: Mood: tired

first day of school today for me.
i'm trying everything in my power to stay occupied so i don't fall asleep. going to school today made me so tired, but i don't want to take a nap because i won't sleep tonight.

all my classes are great. i have a super schedual, i love it. my first 3 classes are upstairs, then the rest are downstairs. i only have books for 3 of my classes, one of which i won't even need for half the year; so that kicks ass.

everyone was telling me about how i looked great and how well i was doing. everyone thought i was only like 4-5 months; i was like "no.. i'm due september 28" everyone was like "whoa, you look SO little!" it got old after a while.

in my 5th pd. fitness class this ariel and erin [freshmen] kept sayin' shit. first ariel pulled my hair so i turned around and told her not to pull my hair.. she denied it and everything i said something else, turned around and they started giggling. then a little bit later the same girl put her foot under my butt a little bit so when i sat back i would sit on the tip of it. and when i did she was like "you sat on my foot!" i was gettin' so pissed off by then so i turned around and yelled "well maybe you shouldn't have put it under my ass; then there wouldn't be a problem!" and we aregued for a minute.. being that she did both of these things while mitch [our gym teacher] was talking was rude. then a few moments after that she was like touching me with papers all over the back so i turned around and i swear to god i had to hold myself back from like hitting her in the face and i said something to her and turned back around. after that she was talking to he friends and mitch got really pissed off. she started yelling at them, i had to laugh cause she'll kick the shit outta them if they don't straighten up. haha, i can't wait.. anyways; after mitch was done explaining everything about the class i asked her about how i was going to make my gym classes up after i had the baby- and she told me to come down and let her see my schedual. when i was going back to my seat ariel was like "hey, come here" and i was just like "what do you want?" and she appoligized to me and said that she didn't know that i was pregnant. --i mean what does me being pregnant have to do with anything? i don't know. i find it kinda funny.

i saw jims cousin racheal today! i forgot she was coming to this school this year, she went to trinity before. she said she was suprised to see me because jim told her that i wasn't going back to school and just getting home schooled.. what a dork he is. i only have lunch with her; and that sucks.. but i'm glad i at least have one period with her.. she's really cool.

i'm really excited about my baby shower.. it's this sunday! i can't wait. but i'm really nervous- i keep thinking no ones going to show up; that scares me so much.

:: 2004 24 August :: 3.43pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: matchbox romance - promise

..i try.

but i don't think just trying is good enough anymore.

..i really don't think that i should be here anymore.

:: 2004 23 August :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: thinking hard.. a little stressed
:: Music: coheed & cambria - a favor house in atlantica

stupid piece of shit.. i accidently deleted my entry from the 16th. stupid asshole.

i spent the last almost week with jim. i had a great time. i finially met his dad. he's great. we stayed at his house 2 nights.

i got home today around 8:00. i walked in the house, and the kitchen, bar room, and dining room was clean when i left on saturday morning- because sam and i cleaned it. i come home to a fuckin' mess. god i was in such a great mood until i saw that. my mom & george left sunday morning to go on a little vacation with the girls and their friends craig & sherry;; they have 2 boys about sam&anns age. dustin was here the whole time; and i guess didn't lift a god damn finger to do shit around here. our bathroom toilet overflowed 2 weekends ago while i was staying over jims and my mom had went somewhere.. and dustin didn't do anything about it and just left it there. so now we can't use that bathroom. maybe i bitch to much.. but it looks like i do everything around here except pay the god damn bills. i practicly take care of my 23 year old brother. what the hell is that? he should be out of the house. i spent my whole summer watching my 2 little sisters while my mom and george were at the bar. they "have to be there" yeah fine.. i watched them. but i'm tired of it now. i'm being taken advantage of. i might be pregnant but that doesn't mean shit.

it's just kinda like i'd much rather move out and have to pay my own doctors bills than to stay here, have my mom pay but be a prisioner in my own house. i mean i have 3 places i could go to stay right now. and all of them very serious about me living with them. but i mean; if i left- my mom and george would be screwed.. because their live-in-babysitter wouldn't be here anymore. then what would they do? omg- my mom would actually have to.. spend time with my sisters. pssh. i don't even think she can handle them nagging her all the time anymore. she'd go crazy.

maybe it'd be easier on my mom if i just moved out anyway. nothings been the same ever since she found out i was pregnant anyway. i'm just a big burden she has to deal with. i can move out if i want to- i'm an emancipated adult now that i'm having a baby even though i'm under the age of 18.

i just keep thinking about what i said in the last paragraph over and over.. and i'm not sure what to do. i just need help.

i need a hug and for someone to say it'll be alright. :(

:: 2004 12 August :: 2.11am
:: Mood: loved

xx interrupted (2:07:14 AM): i need you. :-P
pouncer was here (2:07:33 AM): you got me;-)
xx interrupted (2:09:10 AM): do i got you forrrrever?
pouncer was here (2:09:39 AM): absolutely

i <3 you baby.

:: 2004 10 August :: 9.40pm
:: Mood: anxious

so i regestered at baby depot [burlington] and target..

target

baby depot

you just have to type in my name to see them: Jena Pust my list will come up.

make sure you take a look!

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