whenthesunsets
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2003 6 July :: 2.55am
just a fool to believe i have anything you need
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downtown.
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whenthesunsets
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2003 6 July :: 2.32am
craZy glue
you wanna hear something crazy
im scared of feeling the rest of my life..
..then how i feel when im with you.
(This is where it started.)
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plainmornings
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2003 5 July :: 4.53pm
who wants to be beautiful when beautiful's just a lie?
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plainmornings
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2003 2 July :: 11.24am
:: Mood: excellent :0)
:: Music: Pass me the football...
The best days of my life <3
First off.
Last night + Wellington Girls + crappy movie at the drive in rocked my world(+Gregory too heh) DON'T go see the Hulk, its awful.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
TONIGHT!!!!!
ABBY D's SURPRISE 80's themed party!!!!!
I don't remember the last time that I had that much fun with everyone. Pics tell all!!!
GOO SEEE!
Man. I was all 80s dressed and running through the Boynton mall. Scavenger Hunts rock.
Thank you to everyone <3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABBY D!!!!!
<3<3
PS. I didn't do Gregs makeup, that was alllll him :0P
hmmm "last night" would be 2 nights ago... woohu wasn't up last night so i'm just copying and pasting my livejournal entry.
GOOOOO SEEE PICS!!!!! they really rock
rockrockrock.
_________________________________
Today was amazing. Gregory came over early this morning, made me pancakes and we laid in eachothers arms forever :0P 5hrs later hes gone :0( and i am indeed beary sad. :0(:0(:0(
oh. by the way, Ben Garb is No Parking's new drummer. Weird. heh.
THE LINK!! well url anyways...
http://public.fotki.com/plainmornings/abbys_pizzzartaaay/
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plainmornings
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2003 30 June :: 1.32am
stream of conscious
Stream of conscious...
chosen sweetly i fell. i fell out of your world. Drugs consumed many, not me. It wasn't the drugs as much as you lying. What made you think I wouldn't understand, wouldn't want to help. You told me that it was a plea for help, you wanted me to notice, to care but you did the one thing i asked you not to do. I read your words, your heart poured out onto this screen and it sends sharp pangs through my heart because I cared. This is probably the one thing that could tear me away from the perfection I have now found. How can I be so happy yet still feel obligation. Maybe I still care... I shouldn't. Conflicts of the heart yet I know what I'm doing is right. I have waited so long for this and to lose it for something that has not worked numerous times? If we were meant to be together then it would have worked. Maybe not the first time, the second, the third?? If we were meant to be together "forever" then forever would not have been terminated so soon. Maybe it was love, I really don't know. You walked out that morning, told me that when you'd said it you meant it and for how long I was screaming that inside. It broke my heart. Out of anger I acted and you walked away. I am not saying that you walked out on it because I pushed you away myself but understand, it wasn't just me. Amazing. I can be on top of the world and your words, just your words can bring me down. I must care, I guess I try too hard not to. I read what you wrote for her it was always so much more beautiful then what you'd write for me. You say that it was just lust, a fatal attraction for her and that I was "home", I was what was familiar to you but she was the prize. I don't doubt that you really did love me or anything but you never showed me. Whereas you gave her the world, you felt 100% for me yet only gave me half. You said that you would never say it if you knew I wouldn't say it back. You never knew how I really felt for you, maybe I was a fool for waiting. Maybe i'm smart. Two people obsessed with getting hurt and this is what you get. I have learned from this. I will give 100% from now on, my heart on my sleeve I will get the 100% that I deserve.
I always knew I could do better.
Why am I even thinking of this, its over, i'm happy, I don't need to do this.
Goodnight.
Disclosure: If you're reading this and have to question if this is for/about you then you're wrong and its not. If it was then you'd know. Thats all.
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losttt
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2003 29 June :: 2.26pm
i'm so imperfect i fucking love it. ;-o
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plainmornings
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2003 28 June :: 3.49am
:: Mood: there is no word to describe how wonderful i feel
:: Music: Timb stuck in my head heh
i don't even know where to start...
i'm so numb with ecstasy (no not the drug, just the feeling) right now...
i'm going to say it and most definately mean it this time for sure. I have never been so happy in my life, its been 3 weeks of seeing him EVERYDAY (literally lol) and the after glow hasn't worn off yet which leads me to believe that its not an afterglow at all but this aura that we share between us, one of complete freedom and passion.
I know that he won't read this because as he put it, he "doesn't like reading other peoples thoughts" but you know what, he doesn't have to read this to know how i feel about him.
With my heart on my sleeve, I can now finally breathe a sigh of relief...
::sigh::
<3.
PS. in unrelated news, Timb & Harold rock my world as well.... they rocked pretty damn hard tonight @ the loft <3<3
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plainmornings
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2003 27 June :: 2.37am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise
when you've found a guy who will tell you you're beautiful even when you look like shit, make you dinner and buy you nailpolish, you know you've got a keeper.
I did nothing to deserve him.
I'm so damn lucky.
<3
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losttt
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2003 27 June :: 1.25am
it was like this. the rivers flowed because the source became unplugged. unplugged because that was the happiest anyone has ever made me. no need to rationalize it. it just was.
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plainmornings
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2003 26 June :: 11.54am
lol wow i suck.
i'm excited anyways :0P
i'm grounded.
i wish gregory would call :0(
i feel empty but complete. its a weird feeling.
i wish i went to wellington yesterday and had chicken lo mein with the cool cool cool girls.
the.end.
100friendsw00t!
okay. i'm NOT grouded :0) Ashley and I are doing driving school together and Gregs making me dinner tonight <3
off to the mall con Sara B. <3<3<3
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plainmornings
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2003 26 June :: 12.59am
:: Mood: crappy
Hi, my name is Vivi.
I got a speeding ticket.
Worst night ever.
Yeah. that just about sums up how i feel right now.
funny story though...well maybe not so funny if you weren't there but proves how small of a world it really is...
okay. well this took place during my break tonight at work. Vicky (one of my coworkers) came in with her brother, Dan and his girlfriend Kassidy who are both back from college for the summer. I got a bagel and sat down with the 3. As I sat down I realized that Vickys brother had long, curly hair very similar to Gregs..(us girl freaks talk about hair ALLLLLLL the time heh) sooo as i got up to get a magazine from the rack i pointed to Dan's head and stated "Greg has hair like this" and walked away. When i returned, Vicky asked me what Gregs last name was which i replied "Pishko" and all 3 of them burst out laughing. Very confused I asked what was so funny and Vicky explained that after i'd left, Kassidy said that she had gone to school with a kid named Greg Pishko who had hair like Dans sooo they were all tickled that it was the same person :0) Sooooo it turned out Kassidy graduated IB in 2002 and knows Greg & everyone else. We had a great hour of bonding over FOOLS stories and band stuff (Dan used to be in Jaded at the Swingset) soooo it was really cool.
yeah. thats all.
oh yeah. I saw Greg all this morning which made my day despite all the crapiness <3
hes soooooooooo wonderful. really.
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plainmornings
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2003 23 June :: 4.25am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: Radiohead - Hail to the thief
finally a good apple...
it has probably been awhile since i've really updated...(sorry!)
I do have a good explanation i swear! haha
well... i'm extremely content with just about everything right now.. its summer, i love my job and one of the best guys i've ever met likes me, really likes me and its just perfect...
i spent over 2 hrs talking to him tonight, both of us clarifying how we felt about eachother and stupid little questions we had for eachother...
my conclusion would have to be that Ben is right, he IS going to be the good apple of the bunch.. finally a guy i can be with and not have that uncomfortable feeling of "i can do better".
He makes me so happy...
PS. thank you to BenFranklin for lunch/4:30 dinner today, that made me equally happy as seeing Greg <3 heh no competition here, just love.
You mean the world to me Sr.Garbarino<3<3
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losttt
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2003 22 June :: 3.38am
i woke up at 2 feeling mad at myself for falling asleep.
i now feel mad at myself for waking up.
i know what it felt like today to almost die. there is nothing to be afraid of. staring at the walls i saw they were only walls because i allowed them to be. the word myopic didn't exist. everything was what we made it. simple as that.
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losttt
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2003 20 June :: 1.34am
running down the road to nowhere. farting my ass off. haha just me in the world. god it was great. you should have been there. like an ape who could do nothing but be happy. i love this. a monkey in his element. i wish you were here.
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plainmornings
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2003 19 June :: 4.08am
[Current Clothes] turtle-saur shirt _ khaki capris.
[ Current Mood] contemplative
[ Current Music] none. although i've had radiohead stuck in my head all day
[ Current Taste] n/a
[ Current Make-up ] um... whatever thats left
[ Current Hair ] pony tail
[ Current Annoyance ] ehh i don't want to talk about it.
[ Current Smell ] n/a
[ Current Thing ] i should be sleeping
[ Current Desktop Picture ] former Adastra boys
[ Current Favorite Artists] Radiohead etc.[ Current Favorite Group ] iwhagohsg.
[ Current Book you're reading] the summons by john grisham
[ Current CD in CD Player] wilco i believe
[ Current DVD in player] igby goes down <3[ Current Color Of Toenails ] pink/red
[ Current Refreshment ] n/a
[ Current Worry ] eh... if you matter enough to me then you'd know.
LAST PERSON...
[ You Touched ] Greg... besides my kitty :0P
[ You Talked to ] Ben
[ You Hugged ] Gregory Luke.
[ You Instant messaged ] Ben
[ You Yelled At ] i dont' know but probably someone
[ You Kissed ] pssft who kisses and tells :0P
FAVORITE...
[ Food ] i like food.
[ Drink ] Dr.Pepper
[ Color ] why have one when you can have them all
[ Album ] Radiohead - Pablo Honey
[ Shoes ] gota be the bowling shoes or the pimp tie-died chucks
[ Candy ] gummi bears, twizzlers
[ Animal ] kitties
[ TV Show ] trading spaces
[ Movie ] geez. right now i'm really digging Adaptation
[ Dance ] i don't dance.
[ Song ] um # 2 on the Coheed CD... I don't know names, sorry.
[ Vegetable ] spinich.
[ Fruit ] proly tangerines or something
[ Cartoon ] um.
[ Store ] um.
[ Kiss ] depends
[ Hangout ] in someones arms that i care about.
[ Vacation ] Italy and Greece.. that rocked my world... also trips to the keys = own.
ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] i try to be sympathetic.
[ Open-minded ] i think so.
[ Arrogant ] elitest maybe, arrogant i don't know.
[ Insecure ] probably
[ Interesting ] haha i hope so
[ Random ] spontaneity rocks.
[ Hungry ] always fatty.
[ Friendly ] very.
[ Smart ] IB? lol in that case i guess no.
[ Moody ] don't push me.
[ Childish ] i'm little, im allowed
[ Independent ] its lonely.
[ Hard working ] when needed
[ Organized ] depends what you're talking about
[ Healthy ]i could work on it
[ Emotionally Stable ] not as much as i'd like to be
[ Shy ] not really
[ Difficult ] very.
[ Attractive ] not particularly
[ Bored Easily ] depends
[ Thirsty ] sometimes
[ Responsible ] depends
[ Obsessed ] very
[ Angry ] currently yes even though i shouldn't be...
[ Sad ] even though i might not show it...
[ Happy ] its weird, kind of like crazy equilibrium.. i'm happier then ever but sad in my heart too.
[ Hyper ] its 4am what do you think[ Trusting ] i like to have faith in people
[ Talkative ] very.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill ] lets not go there.
[ Slap ] too many people. especially racists.
[ Get Real Wasted With] wasted on life?? lol[ Get High With ] smokings dumb.
[ Look Like ] too many people
[ Talk To Offline ] lots of people... probably Gregory right now
[ Talk To Online ] i talk to everyone.
[ Date ] they know who they are.:0P
[ Fuck ] oh jeebus... lol
i'm thinking too much about everything and its really bringing me down :0(
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