losttt
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2003 24 March :: 11.19pm
time runs through our veins. (it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
thinking corrupts life. im sorry i dont care anymore. but you arent worth it. (this isnt about you). our lives are trench warfare. venturing out now and then to engage in a fight. but in the end we always return to the trenches. afraid of exposure to the outside world. afraid of being hit by anything. the funny thing is. these words will fall on a blank mind. idontknowwhyiwritethese. just a dead letter marked return to sender.
and with my head submerged, everything fell silent. i shuddered because i thought you had left my mind. but i'd never allow that.
1 going |
downtown.
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losttt
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2003 22 March :: 5.46pm
here's something to think about. (blank space)
getthe picture? no one does. it all just a series of repeating cycles. on your death bed you will see what i have long before. it does not matter however. traversing the untimely walls of this world amounts to nothing anyhoo. i'm losing my grip as i trip on anomilies. i'm sick of painting in black and white. i had a crazy dream this afternoon. and i guarentee it is the result of things to come if the course remains unwavering. this trip has taught me something. and that is if someday i have a kid of my own, he will believe in some religion. he will be the typical societal product, rooted in his beliefs and on a set course, so when he dies he can die feeling he has lived for a purpose. yes. he will have a "good" life. he will be my contrast. he will be my purpose. something "good" that i have accomplished. humans are nice beings. and i no longer know what i am talking about. adieu.
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downtown.
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whenthesunsets
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2003 20 March :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: jimmy eat world
I've just intercepted an untuned station
If you've fooled others, then considered yourself fooled as well. Human nature has become too smart to let instinct come in the way. But I see still some cant hold strong. The temptation and urge takes control.
To take control, you must first find control. Other wise consider yourself a mess.
You have now become your own victim.
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downtown.
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plainmornings
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2003 19 March :: 9.22am
sooo i was supposed to be off an hour and a half ago..... hmm thanks to parents fighting eh? well... off to New College today then FSU tomorrow then UF where i'm meeting up w/Greg Pischko & hes showing me around and making me pancakes <3 then down to Orlando and UCF then i come home. fun.
ohhhhh and to those who didn't know, gues who sooooo finally got their license :0P most know by now considering i've been driving EVERYWHERE including Drewski's movie party : Donnie Darko = own. It was sooo much fun & before that I drove up to Boynton where i hung out w/Brian<3 and Abby D. & Miss.Abby made us some wonderful fooood :0) goodtimes.
now for my Brian rant :0P (oh come on.. like you didn't expect it heh)
well suckers... 2 weeks today & guess whos still NOT broken up <3 you are sooo amazing.. it only gets better from here eh?
ohh and i'm soooo NEVER touching you again :0P <3 u.
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losttt
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2003 18 March :: 7.29pm
:: Mood: fucking gay
damn this sucks. denver and the area where i am supposed to be got anywhere between 3-8 ft of snow today. worst snow theve ever gotten in one day. and it all had to happen the day i go there. dah. so now im stuck in st louis. we try to leave here tomorrow at 930 but even by then the airport may still be closed. most likely i wont even get to breckenridge til thursday or friday, and friday is the earliest ill be able to ski most likely. fucking worthless. hey guys thanks for calling me like you said you would. it was cool hanging out. fuck this shit goddamn dahh. how fin. <3. do a dance for me.
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losttt
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2003 17 March :: 11.22am
a singular needle inflicts a prick. needles amassed can inflict fatalites. keep this in mind when passing glances. it is often the overlooked pebble that topples giants.
last day in florida. ill miss all the queers. get all the dunyans out of your systems. i wojnder which word will have replaced dunyan when im back. <3
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plainmornings
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2003 17 March :: 10.40am
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=1834599&uid=967153&
Pics that Sara B. took from Shanes party...
I never got around to that :0( but its okay, Sascha's thing was really nice. It was nice seeing everyone again ::sigh::
Maybe its better i didn't go to Shanes...soooo much drama resulted from it its crazy!!!
hmm theres something else but i'll tel you bout it later... maybe.
ciao.
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plainmornings
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2003 15 March :: 7.35pm
i never thought perfect could get perfecter...
today was amazing... (you) are amazing. Thank you.
<3 u.
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plainmornings
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2003 14 March :: 3.58pm
today was magnificent! heh well nto only was it the last day of school (before spring break) but I saw Brian lotsssssss (:0P) andd I gave blood sooo goo Vivi!
lets see... spring break!!! I'm soo driving to school by the time this weeks over :0)
Tonight I am going to the Grothe's to celebrate the anniversary of Sascha's birthday... I hope I don't cry...
after that i'm soo off to Shane's bday party (where i'll get to seee Brian :0)) and thats my night
o yeah. i'll be gone Wed - Sat.. going to see colleges and fun stuff like that..(New College, FSU, UF & UCF)
catch ya later kids <3
brian is sooo fantastically wonderful, i have NEVER been as happy with anyone else as I am with him... its like that fluttery feeling you get in your stomach times a bazillion and a half... (you) are so wonderful <3
my cool blood bandage + the pimp bow that the guy made me :0)
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plainmornings
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2003 12 March :: 6.03pm
is it possible to be this happy?
*pinch me please*
(you) are the world to me <3
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losttt
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2003 11 March :: 8.22pm
we all are just drowing in an empty ocean. rehearsing for a nonexistant play. holding on to a rope of water. somehow i find comfort in nothingness. i bathe in a vat of existentialism, bound to nothing, by nothing. i have grown into a shadow of my former self. floating on a pillar of air. dreaming of how all the lies came to be.
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plainmornings
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2003 10 March :: 11.29pm
radiohead5k: I took the adastra quiz
radiohead5k: I'm Ben
picsxstarsxdream: lol
picsxstarsxdream: i'm andrew
radiohead5k: *clutches hair in terror*
picsxstarsxdream: o god lol
radiohead5k: in a year...it'll all be gone
haha ben you are the best <3
you're andrew, the singer. sho liz.
which member of adastra are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
he makes me so happy... <3
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whenthesunsets
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2003 9 March :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: weird
you wouldn't believe
he was a king 'til she laid waste. now he can not fill up the space. and i just see him drifting while he's drifting. on bourbon alley feeling low. just because she let him go. i don't think he even knows. he'll ever be fine. and he's got a head full of ideas. let me tell ya. that you wouldn't believe. and he's got a heart made of pure gold. and something else so many tricks up his sleeve.
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plainmornings
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2003 8 March :: 2.50am
what an excellent night <3
Jenns party: fun stuff, <3 my girls! + Brian came w/me sooo it was that much more wonderfulness <3<3
The whole enitre night was wonderful, thank you.
<3<3<3<3<3
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=1797138&uid=967153&
PICS FROM THE NIGHT!!
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plainmornings
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2003 6 March :: 11.54pm
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&uid=967153&gid=1791600&
Kudos to alllll the thespians!! you guys were great!!!
Jenn Ds bday in 7min weeeee!!!!
<3 for all...
<3 for you...
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