Some facts about me: I think I am a broken person.

:: 2004 23 July :: 10.03am
:: Mood: cold

Caught the chipmunk that's been living in our house for the past week. Damn bastard.

:: 2004 20 July :: 4.36pm
:: Mood: calm

I've become quite oblivious to a lot of things around me. Detailed things are the only important things anymore. I live through small occurances, not the big picture. The big picture is way to scary to consider right now. That's all I ever did before, think about things in months or years, what will I be when I'm 35?
Now it's what am I doing tonight? I can't seem to see into the future, things a few weeks away are in the desolateness of nothing. They don't exist. In essence, they don't. Tomorrow is changeable. Of course, many of the things we plan happen, which gives us a sense of security, that we know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow. But in reality, all those plans, no matter how definite, could always change. The past cannot be changed, only interpreted. Biasedly interpreted. However, the future holds many possibilities, as well as set backs, horrors, and pain. It's a clean white sheet of paper that is open to be formed however we like. The child drawing a sun on it with a macaroni colored crayola crayon, or a beautiful poem being written about two soulmate's endless love, a marriage certificate which bonded together two beings of the same sex, a divorce statement, a eulogy, or a diary entry confiding a teenage girl's innermost thoughts and feelings (which, if violated, would cause certain death to the reader).

Does it matter what happens tomorrow as long as we are here today, that we can live with our regrets, and our broken dreams, and if you died tomorrow, would have have tasted enough of this big fat cake and savored every morsel? Or have you just dipped your finger in the icing, that after the inital enormous sweetness of it all, disolves away to leave you with a mouth full of rotting teeth?

Do what you will today, be in good company, enjoy good food and drink, accept there may be no tomorrow for you, or for anyone that you know, but also plan for your future.

It's like getting a second degree in college:

If you don't die tomorrow, you just might need a second plan to fall back on.

The point of all life is death. That is what we were made for, and that is a change we all must go through. It's quite unnerving, for the fear of the unknown, but from the moment we were born, we were meant for one purpose, and one purpose only, to enjoy our journey, because we never know how long it's going to last, you never know when you're exit comes up on the expressway, and it's better to be in the right lane and be prepared for it, than to be in the left lane and regret going eighty five in a seventy zone, that could have taken you longer, and you would have had more time to see things, if only you slowed down a bit, and cared to pay more attention.

3 comments | critique me

:: 2004 19 July :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Will I ever understand
It's that time again. The time when I have been talking to people, thinking about things. I'd like to think it's thinking globally, but it's not. It's so much more than that. Last night I could not get it off my mind. The way things fit together, the way the entire world fits together. It's just so big that my head can't fit it all. It's just a great drive in me to try to figure it out. To not give up the ghost of understanding. So many questions and not enough answers. So much faith, so much love, but so much heartbreak too. Why? I don't know but I can feel that there is a definite purpose. It's just the way I feel and I've expressed this before. I feel it in other people. There are other special things that all of us are meant to do. Why do I feel I'm here to do somehting great? Why do I feel that others are too? But some of you never think about that. You have different dreams, different ambitions. Now, I have to figure out how it all fits. Like I'm ever going to be able to do that.

Last night was hard for the simple reason that I tried to explain this all to her. It just didn't sink in. Whether it's because she thinks that this part of me is the weirdest part of my entire psyche or what, but it just doesn't resonate with her. Is she one of those people? Does it matter? I don't know the answer to many of those questions. BUt it's the simple fact that her response to my questions were to ask God when I get to Heaven. I can't wait that long. I don't have the patience. Much of it is that I already know God's answers to many of the things I have questions about, it's just that I cannot rectify them with what I see happening in the world. I just hope that I never find peace in this life.

Talking to Keith I did come to the realization that it's people. Everything is people. The political science courses I took studied the tendencies of different institutions. The media, International Organizations, governments, they are all made up of people. People are the basis. People can be dealt with. People have compassion. People have an ability to care for one another. Somewhere we lost that. Somewhere, at work, or where ever we lost the ability to think outside of that. We made things easier by being able just live our lives. To not think about the way the world is, or to focus on one particular area of how the world works without looking at the big picture. Do other people think like I do? And if they do, when did they start and when did they stop? When did the world stop caring for itself? When did we stop caring aobut other people?

"We must love one another or die" - Morrie Schwartz Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom

:: 2004 13 July :: 5.21am

Time goes by so quickly. Summer is already half over.

I really really hate those people who don't listen to reason and have to have what they want when they want it, and won't stop bugging you until it happens.

Damn kids.

2 comments | critique me

:: 2004 11 July :: 5.38pm

You give me the most gorgeous sleep
It was a good weekend. I'm sort of burnt out from tubing and being in the sun all day, and then working tonight, but there are other things that outweigh that enormously.

Whenever I say "enormously" I think of an elephant. I don't know why. I just do.

I'm sleeping tonight. A lot. There is a storm brewing on the horizon and I plan on staying up and watching it for a while. It's so beautiful, yet it can be so dangerous.

Life can be so beautiful sometimes.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius

:: 2004 11 July :: 2.34am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: "Summer of '69" Bowling for Soup (although I prefer the John COugar Mellancamp version)

No dramatic turns here
So, after yesterday's ultimate and patheticly depressing encounter, I was determined to make today better. And it was. I'm not sure how much, and I don't know how far the things I said today are going to affect the future. Or if they're even remembered. The things I feel inside are so strange. I told her yesterday that the things I feel now for her I have never felt for anyone else. I love her, that is true, I have felt that before. It's just a different recipe. There is a lot more affection and tenderness. And a true respect for the person she is.

I did resolve however, to be content. Happiness has been getting to me. Really, I'm not sure if anyone would understand why I would reject happiness for contentment, but it is very simple. It's the simple fact that contentment is balanced, not too extreme. Happiness is very extreme and therefore uncontrollable. Whick then leads you to driving in the afternoon on a perfectly beautiful day balling your eyes out for no apparent reason, with this feeling of extreme sorrow. Or maybe I'm just really stressed out and it's been a long week.

I have to go back and look, but I don't remember all these entries that I am making about my love life being present before. BUt of course they were, they were about how lonely I was. It's just a result of pure resolve that I can be as strange and as seemingly happy as I am.

I think my mom thinks Kim and I are being, um, intimate. She said something about Kim being over at the house when no one is around. No. That does not automatically assume anything. I learned. I won't be coersed out of it this time. It is my firm belief that with my state of mind on the subject that that kind of stuff is a fatal gun shot wound to a relationship.

Oh well time to go to bed. Have to be to work in less than nine hours and I need sleep. Good night all.

:: 2004 9 July :: 2.40am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: "My Immortal" Evanesence

Emotions
Many of you have known me for years. Some for a few, others for awhile. Now though, inside, I don't recognize me. I don't recognize this old man inside of myself. I don't recognize that I may have wisdom. I don't recognize that my dreams are slowly coming together. I can't see past the trees to the forest.

No one at work has ever known me like this. Known me to be this emotional. Mostly because right now I am. And I don't know what it is. I haven't been like this before. I hate losing control of my feelings. I think back and all the time at work I've only lost control once. Once in nearly three years. But now it's.... well I don't know what it is. The middle of the day today I just wanted to cry. Not tears of joy or of saddness, but just tears. My heart got heavy, my throat tight and I wanted to cry. It's to the point that it's scary. I have let go of that control, but I thought I could do it selectively. I thought I could let my joy shine through. I thought I could let that go and keep the other stuff under control. But no, I can't. And it scares me because it is within me, it is me, and I can't control it. I can't control myself. That is the scariest thought of all to me. And right when I'm at the point of all this happiness, I don't want to be the one, nor the reason that it is all ruined.

:: 2004 8 July :: 10.46am
:: Mood: okay

I just got back from my meijer interview, and i got it, of course. Bah.
Now I have two jobs.

And if you were wondering, there are 24 days before band camp, and the start of wonderful ole marchin' season. 24, people. Only 24.

Eh...
Now I have two jobs, a boyfriend, a best friend (and other assorted friends), a car, and hair that needs to be deep conditioned and washed as soon as i get back up the lake.

Ain't life grand?

Well, I have nothing else to do today, tomorrow i have to work at four or five, I think i'm going to invite jessica up to the lake saturday, and i have to work sunday night. All in all I have something to do ever day. It gives me some goal to work for each day. Pathetic, but true.

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:: 2004 8 July :: 10.44am
:: Mood: awake

What kind of band geek are you?

:: 2004 7 July :: 1.21am
:: Mood: sore

What a disappointing day
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.
Life�s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

MacBeth Act V, Scene V, l. 18-27

I've rediscovered an appreciation for Shakespeare that has been lost over the past several years.

4 comments | critique me

:: 2004 6 July :: 12.02am
:: Mood: thirsty
:: Music: "What Will We Become"- Ashley, Zach and H2O

Politics
If you are not politically inclined you may just want to ignore this post altogether. Unfortunately it will reveal much of my bewilderment even at this point in my much decided, but very young political life.

I keep watching and hearing people yell back and forth at each other. Liberals yelling about conservatives and conservatives yelling at liberals. Mostly generally yelling inconsistencies and obscene half-truths and even downright lies. What really bothers me more than anything else is that all these people are denying those who don't have firm political stance, the chance to make up their mind based on real fact and not fanatical rhetoric. Should it matter that Kerry voted for allowing the President freedom to mobilize troops for Iraq, but then after consideration, changed his mind. What matters beyond that point. At that point that is what he felt was best for the country, now it's not. judge him on whether you agree with that position, not on the fact that he changed his mind. I'd much rather support a person who is willing to admit what they think are mistakes when they make them. Really this is about the Presidential election. Sure, I keep telling myself that Bush is the President, he's my President. But there is something about me that makes the emotion I feel towards him unsettling. Do I want to make an emotional choice? No, not really. I want to make a responsible choice. BUt it's funny that my vote only counts as much as someone who registers and votes and doesn't know the difference between the two of them. Doesn't understand the ramifications of the election. And doesn't have any idea, or even give a damn what becomes of the future of this country.

Secondly, the Michigan Constitutional Amendment officially banning same sex marriage is going to be on the ballot. Let's amend the state constitution and let that be the end of it. Please.

9 comments | critique me

:: 2004 5 July :: 3.38pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: The sound of the organ playing at Miller Park in the background of the Cubs game on TV

Tonight, tomorrow; The future, the past. As days flow together life seems more complete
Well. I was just on my profile page and I didn't even realize it was mine. I didn't recognize the picture. In fact I was thinking to myself what a dumb picture it was. Not really dumb, but it seems grainy and a little too intellectual.

This has been a great weekend. Starting with Thursday and running right through to now. If anyone doesn't know how my weekend started out, I'm going to tell you right now.

I guess we've made a big step on to the local scene. I almost feel badly for the fact that we don't work as hard on our stuff as some other people do. It almost feels like cheating and sometimes I feel like my musicianship doesn't matter, that I'm just hiding behind Ashley's voice. No, Thursday night Ashley, Zach, and H20 (me and Aaron)won the Battle of the Bands in Sand Lake. Fuzzy Logic took third. They were better than Ill Machine.

So Thursday I saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in awhile. It really is great because you feel like the center of attention sometimes. I'm not used to being the guy up there outfront like that. I really do think that the book that I saw about how to be a loner is true. Really, I don't like people. I don't like large groups of people, I don't like individual people. Maybe it's just the fact that I am mostly a social mosfit and do not interpret a "good time" like most other people do.

So, I can't really remember Friday. Oh, wait. Yes I do. I went with Sherry (Zach and Ashley's mom (isn't wierd that her name comes first in the name of our band, but whenever I talk about the two fo them I put his name first)) to Muskegon. If you can follow that last sentence, congrats. It was fun, mostly because she didn't know how to get to Muskegon and she worries about everything. We had to drop our tape off to WMUS to get entered in the Colgate Country Showdown. Of course, I don't know where WMUS is. So, I got her to Muskegon, via M46, but then we ended up nearly all the way to Grand Haven because neither of us knew how to get to the radio station. It was fun. Then I spent nearly an hour waiting for Kim to get out of work. We watched Goldmember. I so want a Dr. Evil sub. Before that I saw Brianna. She wished me a good weekend. I did have a good weekend, so thank you.

Saturday we didn't get out of work until 3:15 when we were suppossed to be out at 1:30. I hate my job and I should call the Mobil tomorrow to see if there is a job there. We went to Connie's uncle's house and watched fireworks. Kim went swimming, but I didn't. It was too cold even though it was like 78. I prefer it to be a little warmer with a nice breeze and overcast, besides, I didn't feel like it. Then we went into Sand Lake. To the fair. Which, in hindsight I should have vehemently oppossed. And of course, Shari is the first person that Connie picks out of the crowd. See, now I've spent the last two days explaining to Kim why this is bothering me so much. She seems to think that I haven't dealt with the issues that her and I have (Shari, not Kim). But I have and I am fine with that. Everything except for that damned guilt that was one of the biggest reasons we broke up to begin with. It was not a proud moment of my life, and that is something that I did not want her to see. Oh, and I spent one dollar to support the Tri-County pom team. Yes, I know. You would never expect that out of me. It did however give me a chance to dunk Sheila. And see how Kim throws. I gave her and Connie the first two shots at the dunk tank and then I went myself and nailed it straight on.

So, we got through that, and like I said in my last post, it doesn't matter because she loves me.

Sunday. Work, again. With Mona. Much slower than Saturday. Still didn't get out until 3pm, again, supposed to be out at 1:30. Sped down to Kim's dad's so we could make it to church by 6pm. I'm not sure if I was really in tune with what Matt was talking about. Mostly because he over illustrated most of his points. It's like after the first two examples of someone being crippled, I understood what he was talking about. But he continued with like five or six other examples. It did lead me to this conclusion though: Freedom is not the ability to do what you want, but the lack of restraint placed upon your actions. Then we were going to watch fireworks, come home to see if we could find out if they were cancelled or not due to the rain. That was 10pm. Of course I can't explain why my car was still at her dad's house, and we were at my house in her car, but hey. That's what leads to me drving through the S-curve at 2am sipping on a Coke to keep me awake. In the intervening period she taught me some things that I didn't know. But then again, that happens everyday. I'm not sure why she was wishing I was normal, but maybe for a second she did. Mostly because I knew what was going on, I just tried to act hard headed. It works it really does. To be so silly when she just wanted me to act normal. But we talked. It was good. And I let myself go. Yeah.

:: 2004 2 July :: 12.30pm

guitar

"This guitar was given to Frank Zappa by Jimi Hendrix... and was played by both of them!"

- ! ONE MILLION DOLLARS OR BEST OFFER ! -

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

E-mail your propositions directly to Dweezil Zappa (present owner of this item).

8 comments | critique me

:: 2004 1 July :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: chipper

[sigh]

The green thing in my journal isn't working for me much anymore, and i have the urge to change it, just not right now.

I don't want to do anything right now except sit.

I have to work tomorrow.
I don't really wanna. Oh well. It's money.

I have to call meijer back to get a second interview.
School job?

The insurance company warned me today that if I dispute the damages incurred on that guy's car that i backed into, then his insurance company would advise him to take me to small claims court.
I need none of this.

I want none of this.

I just wanna go to bed and never wake up.
Dreams can be so much nicer and much more easily manipulated than real life.

michelle

spud	:: 2004 1 July :: 5.24pm ACT test scores Englilsh: 29 Maths: 34 Reading: 35 Science: 30 Composite: 32 yup. gotta go. 4 comments \| critique me

:: 2004 30 June :: 10.20am

How to make a Michelle

Ingredients:

1 part competetiveness

1 part crazyiness

5 parts empathy

Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little fitness if desired!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

:: 2004 29 June :: 11.34pm

this took me a waay long time, so check it out.

Opening credits: Brick House - The Commodores
Waking up: 11 AM - Incubus
Average day: Champagne - 311
First date: Game Called Love - Queen
Falling in love: Here In My Room - Incubus
Love scene: Kiss From A Rose - Seal
Fight scene: Chop Suey! - SOAD
Breaking up: The Morning After The Ball - Amy Speace
Getting back together: Wrap Your Arms Around Me - Barenaked Ladies
Secret love: Secret - Maroon 5
Life's okay: Blue Rondo Ala Turk - Dave Brubeck
Mental breakdown: Why Does This Always Happen To Me? - Weird Al Yankovic
Driving: Black Crow - Jamiroquai
Learning a lesson: In Other Words - Ben Kweller
Deep thought: Dogs - Pink Floyd
Flashback: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Partying: Hello City - Barenaked Ladies
Happy dance: The Zephyr Song - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Regreting: Back To Nothing - Benton Falls
Long night alone: Missing The War - Ben Folds Five
Death scene: The End Of The Line - The Offspring
Closing credits: War On Drugs - Barenaked Ladies

Your Life: The Soundtrack brought to you by BZOINK!

spud	:: 2004 29 June :: 10.23pm ohhhh!!! i forgot. i got my SAT scores back. still waiting on my ACT. here goes: Math: 750 Verbal: 710 Composite: 1460 yep. not too shabby. i was pleased, anyway. P.S. this is my 420th journal entry, for all you stupid stoners out there. 7 comments \| critique me

:: 2004 29 June :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: ultra-fine
:: Music: BnL - These Apples

yeah. just an update for youse guys.

i'm alive. i'm doing stuff.

the rabbit needs work, as always. but i'm also hoping to obtain another project (a boat).
as if i don't have enough stuff to spend money on already.

but that's okay.

i feel bad about the whole band thing kinda fizzling into nothing. i really would like to rekindle that a bit, but between everything else, it's very difficult.

katie and i had a spat, but we're better now.

incubus concert next wednesday!!!!
that's gonna kick total ass.

mom's thinking about selling the 4runner and getting a 1968 volkswagen beetle.
i said it would be cool if we could go to mive g2gs together and stuff.

speaking of mive g2gs, i'm planning on going to krispy kreme on 28th and the beltline on the 4th of july for one of them. i'll finally be able to meet hector, whom i heard of a week ago through work. his mom lives over by pine lake, and he has a 1984 Rabbit GTI.

the one i've been stalking.
so i'll be there at three on sunday.

ummm......

yep. still alive. still tired, as ever.

i love you guys.

and, of course: ILYTL !!!

4 comments | critique me

:: 2004 29 June :: 9.42pm

Hello, my name is Michelle, and I am addicted to woohu.com.

2 comments | critique me

:: 2004 28 June :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: okay

I got a job today.....at Sticks and Stones. It's a gift shop/ice cream place in Pierson right off the expressway across from Mobile. Well now, aren't we just special?

:: 2004 28 June :: 11.34am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: "Raining in Baltimore" - Counting Crows

Love, Self-loathing, and self-hatred
Many of you may wonder how I keep myself going. How exactly does he keep himself so busy? How exactly could he care about the things he cares about? Well, simply stated, it's because I hate myself. I hate what I am, what I will become, and the things I do. That's me, that's how I keep going. Of course if you do a little investigation you'll see that it is a pattern going back for the entrie existence of this journal. In fact it goes back to the time when I was four years old and I was mad at myself because I could not read a chapter book. That's the earliest memory I have of hatred of myself. And last night I was just waiting to get away from her so I didn't lose it. I didn't want to lose it in front of her. I just kept telling myself that I just had to make it home. Then I could let loose and really bash myself. That's all I had to do. But thank God for her. Thank God that I can talk to her. Thank God for the peace of mind that I had to be able to talk about it without losing myself. And Thank God that she loves me, even when I don't think I love myself.

:: 2004 27 June :: 6.57pm

You know you've been in band too long when:
You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.

You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.

People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"

"Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.

You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.

You see your section more than you see your family.

The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.

You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."

Pep band is the highlight of your week.

4 comments | critique me

:: 2004 25 June :: 2.31am
:: Mood: overjoyed
:: Music: "Rollin'(The Ballad of Big and Rich)" - Big and Rich

To happy to find the words
Maybe it's time to write again. It's time to start writing things that are lyrical again. Maybe I could even write an entire song this time.

It's just that I am so happy right now and I want to capture that. That and I really can't express what I'm feeling in simple words. I mean we can't even make eye contact with each other for more than two seconds before we start smiling like idiots, then we have to turn away because we are laughing so hard. I've never quite experienced that before. She keeps telling me that I'm the one that needs to decide what we're going to do when we're together. I just tell her that it doesn't matter as long as we're together. It really doesn't. It's to the point where this is almost like an addiction and I think I've lost control.

:: 2004 22 June :: 6.11pm
:: Mood: cool

volkswagen rabbit:

check this out. on my user picture, that's a rabbit.

a rabbit that i saw in real life today. a couple hours ago. in real life. today. in cedar.

madness, i tell you.

never before have i seen this vehicle, yet all the while it has been residing under my very nose.

needless to say, i didn't wash the tank. i just marveled at the car for half an hour.

it was weird though.

here's a better view:

http://www.michiganvw.org/MIVEyearbook/2003/wmaaax060703/sp_images.php?filename=dsc01465.jpg&action=spoof

frreakin' crazy.

i love it though. i want mine to be like it in every way.

well, not every way.

but a lots of ways.

yep.

8 comments | critique me

:: 2004 20 June :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: complacent

This weekend has been indescribable. I don't think I will ever forget it. Yesterday I went and played tennis with Sam at Sand Lake at 9:30. We then went to my house and put the pictures from the lake on my digital camera that we took the night before. We went back to the lake and got ready and went to Rob's graduation party, and I left at 2:30 and went and saw Michelle at her graduation party, and then I head over to Rueben's party around four thirty. Good food. Good people. Good Rueben. It was really fun except when I burnt my pinky finger on the citrenella incense stick and fell down the stairs going out of the gazebo. Hey, I was tired, it's all good. I ended up staying the night at Rueben's house and we sat/slept/talked by the fire (or what became of it) until seven thirty in the morning. It got way too cold and we went inside and slept on the couch for a while. I left around nine thirty because I had to be back at the lake for father's day dinner. I think I slept a total of three hours. I have enough caffiene to last me a few more hours, and when the time arrives, I doubt I'll be able to make it to my bed. Eh, the floor can be comfortable, right?
Anyway, Father's Day. Fun stuff.

I think I'm going to go shopping with Jessie tomorrow to Greenville sometime in the morning or early afternoon, not like I have money to buy anything, but I have fabric and if I see something I like, I can make it. Yep. It happens.

-michelle-

:: 2004 18 June :: 12.50pm
:: Mood: crappy

Uh. Bad. Bad day. Go away.

3 comments | critique me

:: 2004 17 June :: 10.16pm

Basics
Name:: Michelle
Age:: 16
Height:: 5'1"
Hair Color:: Red
Eye Color:: Changes- Blue and green and anywhere inbetween
School Life
What's your school's mascot?: Red Hawk
School color(s)?: Red, White, Black, and Gray
G.P.A.?: 3.833
Who is your favorite teacher?: Robuck
What do they teach?: Band
Is this your favorite class?: Heh, yes
Internet
Do you use any instant messengers?: Yes
If so, which ones?: MSN
About how many hours a day do you spend online?: none to three
Do you have a digital camera?: yes
If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?: no
Music
Do you play any instruments?: yes
If so, what one(s)?: Flute, mandolin, i can make out noises on a trumpet
3 Favorite Genres Of Music:: Old rock, punkish rock, and instrumental
3 Favorite Bands:: Green Day, Jet, WMFA flute choir (i know i know, band geekish)
Do you go to concerts and/or shows?: Yes
What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?: $5
What is the least you've ever spent?: $5
Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?: yes
Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?: yes
Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?: I don't really care
Word Association
Blue:: Maui
Camera:: Picture
Boy:: Good
Pretty:: Smile
Pants:: Off
Music:: On
God:: Where?
Sweater:: Itchy
Live Journal:: Woohu is better
MTV:: Live
Labels:
Do you think labels are dumb?: Sometimes
Why or why not?: Because sometimes they are correct, and sometimes not
What do people label you as?: Smart/Bitchy/bandgeekish
How/Why did you get this label?: Because I am
Which Is Worse?
Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?: Emotional
Blink-182/Good Charlotte?: Blink
Being Deaf/Being Blind?: Deaf
Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?: Bored
Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?: Leg
Love
Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?: Yes
Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?: Yes
Are you romantic?: In a dirty way
Are you in a relationship now?: Yes
If so, for how long?: A month and almost a week
If not, how long have you been single?: haven't been
Are you a virgin?: Yes
What song describes your love life right now?: Very very very good
Ranomosity
War: Good or Bad?: Bad
What do you think of designer labels?: I can make it for less
Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?: Paris
What is it with guys and cars?: hehe...I don't know, but it's a good thing
Do you sing?: Alone
If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?: I don't know
Kiss or hug?: Both
What color is your room?: pink
How old is your mom?: 47
Black and white or color photos?: Black and White
Who cuts your hair?: Me
What color is your toothbrush?: Purpe
What color is your hair brush?: Blue
What kind of hair products do you use?: Shampoo, Conditioner, deep conditioner, gel
Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?: Sure
Are you sXe?: Uhh, no?
Are you sexy?: Sure
What color to people tells you looks nice on you?: Pretty much all of them
What color do you think looks nice on you?: I don't care
Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?: Depends on if i'm pmsing or not
Who do you sit with at lunch?
Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?: No
Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?: I don't know
What is the website for one of your favorite bands?: I don't do that kind of thing, i'm not a freak
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: Older
Do you listen to songs on repeat often?: yes
Who was the last person you hung out with?: Rueben
What did you and that person do?: Umm...*cough* I don't remember
Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?: yes, unfortuneately
How often do you bathe?: every or every other day
Are you a people-pleaser?: yes
Do you dye your hair regularly?: no, never have
What about your eyebrows?: no
Do you wear makeup?: yes
If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?: I didn't
Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: I don't buy CD's
Can you beatbox?: No
Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?: I don't know, I haven't asked her recently

100 Questions For Your Answering Pleasure! brought to you by BZOINK!

:: 2004 13 June :: 2.57am
:: Mood: tired

Today
Today has been going on for several days now. Have you ever had times like that? Times when days never end, they just continue on to infinitum, until they end.

Let's start on what normal people following a normal calendar would call Thursday.
Thursday night, 11:30pm
Say good night to Kim. See Gunnie in Northstar parking lot, to talk to him for ten minutes.
Friday morning 12:00am
Go home
1:30am
Go to sleep
Now on to Friday
8:40 am
Awaken; call Kim, no answer
10:05 am
Recieve call from work;
10:25 am
Punch in
3:15 pm
Punch out
3:30pm
Call Kim
3:40 pm
Leave for Jeanne's house
3:50 pm
Drive by Darren's house and see Kim's car, stop
Friday night 5:15 pm
Kim leaves Darren's for work
5:45 pm
Leave Darren's house for home
8:30 pm
Arrive at work, talk to Kim and Jeanne
8:40 pm
Leave work for Darren's house
9:00 pm
Michelle arrives at Northstar, comes over so Jessie can meet Kim.
9:02 pm
I tell Michelle to run so no guys at Darren's see her and Jessie.
9:15 pm
Kim speeds off into the twighlight on the way to her dad's house in Wyoming
9:30 pm
Kim arrives at dad's house
9:50 pm
I arrive at Kim's dad's house because I drive the speed limit
10:20 pm
Arrive at Cinemark to watch "The Day after Tomorrow"
11:15 pm
Wendy's sighting in "The Day after Tomorrow"
Saturday morning 12:40 am
Leave Cinemark for Kim's dad's house
12:50 am
Leave Kim's Dad's for Jeanne's
1:25 am
I arrive at Jeanne's
1:45 am
Kim has still not arrived at Jeanne's
2:00 am
Leave Jeanne's to go to gas station to call Kim
2:05 am
Pass Darren's house, see Kim's car, stop
2:10 am
Observe Sarah and her boyfriend fighting
2:10:01am
Observe that both are drunk
2:40 am
Sitting in Kim's car I hear a female voice shout "Stop it" I am not in view of Kim and therefore assume it is her. I get mad and go to find out what is happening. Adrenaline rush. Nevermind, voice is Sarah's. Sarah attempts to find her car. Not wanting to let her drive because she is drunk I literally lift her off the ground. At which pont she breaks down.
3:00 am
Again attempt to stop Sarah from driving
3:45 am
Arrive back at Darren's
4:00am
Darren bitches at Jeanne
4:15 am
Darren passes out
4:20 am
We leave Darren's for Jeanne's
4:25 am
Stop at gas station to get Hot chocolate
4:35 am
Arrive at Jeanne's (finally)
6:15 am
Leave to take Jeanne to work
6:30 am
Arrive at work; punch in
7:40 am
finish truck
8:40 am
punch out; go home
9:40 am
sleep
Saturday afternoon 1:50 pm
awaken; Call Kim, no answer
2:00pm
phone rings, Kim
2:15 pm
Leave for work
3:00 pm
Leave work for lake
3:20 pm
Arrive at lake; Begin cutting grass much to the dismay of the people sunning themselves
4:40 pm
Stop cutting grass
4:59 pm
sleep
5:00 pm
Rueben and Michelle arrive at lake
6:20 pm
Awaken; steal a brat; depart for home
6:33 pm
Arrive home
6:45 pm
Depart for work
Saturday night 6:52 pm
Arrive at work
7:00 pm
punch in
Sunday morning 1:25 am
Leave work
1:35 am
Arrive home
2:57 am
begin updating journal
3:17 am
finish updating journal
3:24 am
finish editing journal