goodbye, tigger & piglet
the voices of tigger and piglet died on friday and saturday.

piglet died of "undisclosed causes" and tigger died in his sleep.

goodnight, tigger & piglet

:(

[ talked to jill ]
so, i talked to jill. she wanted to talk to me, which was something. she called when i was at work. but anyway, get to the point. she apologized for not going to my open house, but it's done. i've moved on. it's kind of like.. a guy breaking your heart, only she was my friend for 11 years, and something snapped.. to where she was leaving me behind, and changing her ways for.. whatever reason. i'm happy she's changing, but i'm not happy she's changing into someone i don't like, and can't stand.

i appreciate that she apologized, i really do, but she screwed up with me, and i can't be her friend anymore. i really can't. i love her, and her family. i dont love the people she surrounds herself with, and the situations she puts herself in, and the second face she throws on when she's with other people. that's the jill i don't like, and never have. she's always done it, but i've looked past it. now, that's jill. she's not the same person she was. she really isn't. and i can't be her friend. i just.. can't.

i've accepted that we're completely different people, and we always will be. she finds excitment in her boyfriend, and i don't. i think her boyfriend is a complete dick. but, who am i to tell jill what i think of her boyfriend? sure, i'm sure jill did a lot of stuff with him. she did with josh, she will with kevin. if not, more. so i'll let her live her life, do her thing, and just.. do what she wants. and i'll continue to do mine.. without her.

- Jejuan

[ you're a bitch ]
jill didn't come to my open house. her excuse.. she was up north with her family. um, what family? her family came to my open house.. thanks, jill. fuck you back. i tried being your friend, but you'll never have friends if you do shit like this. feel free to burn all the pictures you have of me.. cause i burnt all yours. the ones of.. either just you.. or you and me. including your senior picture. fuck you, jill. that's all i have to say.

fuck you..

[ three-some babyyy ]
so.. i been told i had a three-some with jill and josh before he moved.. at that party i went to of his. lol.. yea, okay. :) if i got boned by josh and finger banged by jill.. more power to me lol. too bad it aint happen tho. i'm sure josh is fabulous i bed.. not. i dont wanna do josh plude. that's alright. well.. maybe that night i did.. he was lookin good, BUT we're not gonna get into that.

point is.. i aint had a three-some with jill and josh. that's all. thank you pimp j for.. informing me tho.. lol

[ i hurt lol ]
the beach was awesome. i had a whole lotta fun. and on the way back, keegan was like.. dancing around, and people gave him some weird looks.. others danced too. it was entertaining. but yeah, it was so awesome. my giant jumbo ball i bought at family fair was sweet. it couldn't fit in my car, so dee took it down there. it was like a baby, man. it kept trying to escape. so we were runnin after it all the time lol, but it was real fun. jake and keegan tried to stand on the bouy thing, but couldn't really get on it all the way. they could sit on it.. but that's about it lol. it's alright tho. it was just a whole lotta fun. can't really explain it, but it was awesome. totally gonna do it again someday.

oh, and if nobody has noticed.. keegan and erika are so cute.. lol. it's sick. nah, i'm playin. they're real cute together. erika gotta wild boy on her hands tho lol. that's what makes keegan.. keegan.. ;p

i gotta go to work tomorrow.. BOO. :( i don't want to. i wanna go someplace and chill again. that was way too much fun. i got burnt so bad tho lol. it's alright. fun comes with a lil downfall. plus.. this burn will be a tan someday.

- Jejuan

[ holy shit lol ]
alright, so my last few days have been soo good. i'm starting to really enjoy my life again. it's amazing. this is going to be a long entry, so get ready lol.

alright, so i thought my life was going to be hell for.. ever. i lost jill because she's a horrible friend for ditching me every chance i get. and even at the all nighter, me and this other kid (who will remain nameless) found a way to like.. look over everyone and have nobody notice, and we were lookin out at everyone and i was talking about jill and how she was always ditching me, and this other person was like "for jacki.. yeah i see that." see, i'm not the only one that noticed. but yeah. so we were like.. watchin them from our lil.. area. anyway, so yeah.. way for me to get off point. back to what i was saying.. because jill was always ditching me, i told myself i was just going to tell her it's done. i can't be her friend anymore cause she does this to me now for a stupid male. i wasn't ever gonna let somebody take my dignity away because of a guy. but i honestly thought i wasn't going to be able to do it, but i did.. and i'm actually really happy. i miss her mom, a lot, but i'm not gonna be jill's friend for her mom. i'll still talk to her mom and stuff when i see her, but i tried being jill's friend. i tried being real cool with her at graduation.. and the whole night. and then her and jacki totally like.. leave the fucking graduation without me. yeah, thanks. so i was walking and somebody was like "dude.. jill and jacki left already." i.. started to cry that day. honestly. and when tj gave me a hug and told me he was proud of me.. yeah. i almost cried then too.. cause it's like "thanks, you say that to me.. but not jill or jacki.. and they know about the shit i went thru when i was a sophomore." whatever. anyway.. so yeah. i didn't think i'd be able to just.. say fuck them. cause jill's been my friend for 11 years. but i did it. she's out of my phone, i dont have her number, jacki's, tj's, or.. whoever else's anymore. bruce and kevin i think. i'm not gonna associate with them again. and amazingly enough, i'm in such a great mood.. i really really am. it's.. crazy.

then the whole j thing. yeah.. well, that's going no where. i don't really.. talk to him anymore. and today was the first time i talked to him in a few days cause i had to get something cleared up.. and it did. he doesn't want me part of his life anymore (even tho he wont say that directly.. i know he doesn't) and.. i don't really need him part of mine anymore. he's got marlene, and i got.. nobody heh. but that's fine. i'll go back to my 15 year old attitude and say boys are gay and i don't need one to be happy. so there. i didn't think i'd life thru that one either. i really really didn't. i cried myself to sleep for about.. a week. my best friend leaving me, then the boy i fell inlove with leaving me. yeah, it was hard. real hard. so i've learned that i'm not gonna have best friend.. or fall inlove with nobody.. ever again. i'll have friends, hell yea, but not ones that i'd change my life around for again. but i lived thru j too.

so now, i'm hittin it up with liz a lot. she's real cool. i mean.. i've always known that, but like seriously.. she really is. i used to not care bout her all that much, cause i was a bitch.. like my other "best friend" heh. but like, the more i think about it.. the more i feel like a total asshole. now though, i'm not gonna be like that. i got too much shit to do in my life than to be like "dude.. i dont like that person." fuck it.. if i dont like you, i'm gonna ignore you. it's easier that way.

saw dan at meijer for like.. 2 minutes. made my day. he's so nice. i wish i was a lot closer to him. ima call him sometime now that i got his number lol.

but anyway, last night was fuckin sweet. saturday night. oh man. me and liz got outta work and were like "let's do somethin." so we go to raggs to riches. oh.. my.. god lmao. that place is so fuckin sweet. 7 bucks to get in.. greatest shit ever, i swear. we're gonna go back next weekend too. but like.. we got there, and it was weird cause we haven't really been to a club like that.. other than the brickhouse.. which sucked by the way.. dont go. and then jessica stewart was there, and that made the night that much better. so we were all hangin out and shit. dancin. oh lol. and this guy.. darnell i think his name was. black dude. he had a.. cute face kinda. the closer he got to me.. the more fuzzy he got tho cause i had to start.. crossing my eyes he was so close lmao. but like.. he was kinda.. not right. and he was dancin with jessica, then he was dancin with me. and he got like real real reall close to me. his head was past mine, and he was all like grabbin my ass n shit. i felt special, but at the same time its like "okay.. liz.. jessica.. get him off me." lol. anyway, so it was actually really fun. and he wanted my number. didnt give it to him, if i see him again tho.. i will.. just cause. lol. but yeah, it was so much fun. but my d-bag mom made me be home at 2. so we had to leave. and it was sad. but i had sooo much fun. totally going back. me, liz, jessica. for sure. we had so much fun. we should call up dan too, and christa. and be like "hey.. come with us." that'd be hot.

okay, i'm gonna go now cause.. i want to. i wanna go back to raggs though, for sure. maybe next weekend we'll hit up club rev. and raggs. cause i dont work on saturday (woot).

loves it!
- Jejuan

[ new day, fresh start ]
i been hangin out with liz a lot lately, which is cool. i should've done this like.. a long time ago.

i was lookin through my contacts in my phone, deleted a good.. half of the people in there. then i was looking through one of my 8 yearbooks, cause stark's a douche and gave me like 8 of the same one. which is ugly by the way. anyway, i was looking through there thinkin to myself "i should really get at some of these people i been talkin to this year." like amanda, dan, keegan, tyler, so on n so forth. tyler put his number on the back of his senior picture, so i should call him up some night and see if he wants to do somethin with a buncha people like.. his girlfriend, dan, christa maybe, whoever else. liz.. keegan. whatever. but when i was thinking all this, it hit me that i think they were just.. school friends. ya know. how often would i really be doing stuff with these people. i guess you'll never know if you don't try.

so back to my phone, i deleted a lot of people out of there. half of them i wondered why i even had their number, like janie and brandy. others i just never talk to them anymore. like jill, jacki, tj, jessica nichols. so i deleted them out of there. if they call me, i'll get their number again, but if they don't.. oh well. it's not like i talk to them anymore.

i'm gonna start my life over. i'm gonna work my ass off, get a second job, maybe a third, save as much as possible in my credit union account, and get a car. once that's done, i'm going to save again for college. in florida. university of central florida, or someplace else. i'm not even sure if i'm good enough for ucf, but i'm gonna try real hard to get into that school. then i'm going to work my ass off to be.. something. detective, maybe. but then i have to go to like.. the police acadamy and run n shit. i don't run. but i'm gonna work on that getting in shape. i'm not talking like.. a bag of legos shape, more like.. a healthy looking human being. because right now, i don't look it, and i don't feel it. so i'm really gonna work on that. egg salad and subway. and water. that's gonna be my diet. better than mcdonalds and wendy's, if you ask me.

um.. let's see. other things.. j. okay, yeah i been talkin to him still, and i.. probably will continue. but i'm not gonna think of him any different than what i thought of angelica. she's.. the girl i been talkin to online for about 10 years, but we.. stopped talking recently. i don't even know why, but we both been busy with our own thing. anyway, j's gonna be my friend. nothin more. even thought it tears my heart in two to know that he's off fuckin other girls and it's.. unprotected sex. yeah, that's.. real great. he don't care though, obviously. so.. yeah. it's his life, not mine.

alright, i washed my car, and now i want to go drive around and mess it up lol. i don't know why.. but i do. so i'm gonna. tomorrow i'm going job hunting. still haven't gotten my diploma, but it'll be there lol.

- Jejuan

[ my head hurts, but who cares ]
i totally love my life right now, it's great. i haven't had this much fun since.. 8th grade, when i totally didn't even like.. live here lol. i feel like a valley girl. like.. totally. okay, really though, i'm in a great mood. finally. i deserve it. with my "friend" ditching out on me everytime i attempt to be cool with her, and with ya know.. the whole j thing. which is.. bad at certain points, but pretty good otherwise. i got my phone incase of emergancies. don't ask where.. that.. came from. makes no sense.. moving on.

i'm cutting again. paper.. not myself. scrap book, son :) lol. totally won't be done by june 11th, but i don't care. i got my pictures back. dan laatz, and keegan are hot boys. keegan the most.. ask the wind.. it will tell you lol.

there.. really is only a few reasons why i mention their names so much. one, it's fun.. and it makes me think of when we did random searches on ourselves and me, liz, and keegan were picking on dan. then.. keegan cause.. he's just hot and it's fun to talk about him lol.

god good moods are great.

my head hurts though.. that's okay, i'll live.

so yeah, decision is made.. i'm not gonna even try with jill anymore. she seems to.. not like it when i do that, so i'm just gonna stop. i didn't know it was a crime to be nice to somebody when you're at their house grabbing something of your own.. but it is i guess, so i'll just keep my record clean and FUCK.. sorry, random thought. okay.. back to.. what i was saying. i'll keep my record clean of illegal actions and just not go over to your house anymore. k, greatttt. i don't believe i'm gonna go to her open house either. i might cause it's nice and i'm not a mean person, but i doubt i'll do it cause.. she don't like it when i'm nice to her i guess. k, great.

next.. i gotta call liz. so i'm done. bye.

- Jejuan