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m&ms487
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2006 26 February :: 7.46pm
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: Handel - Messiah
It's quite cold in my house right now. Maybe I'm just the one that's cold.
Finished reading Madame Bovary. It's a very interesting novel. It reminds me of a quote that I heard on a show a little while back that didn't even make it a full season:
"Men are romantics pretending to be realists and women are realists who pretend to be romantics."
I remember hearing that and it struck me. I'm not quite sure I know exactly HOW it struck me, it just did. I believe it's very true. Very realistic. It must have been thought of by a woman......
I'm very scared about the next few months. I'm so busy. But sometimes that really works out because I use that little time that i have a lot more wisely. I don't sit down and watch tv for a few hours, I get my homework done because I know that when I get that done it will be time to go to sleep, then time to wake up and go to school or work and do the same thing all over again. I like how it keeps me busy. I just get tired sometimes. I get scared that I won't be able to get what needs to be done done. I need to memorize my scales very badly. I have exactlly 29 days before S and E and limited time before my auditions for the school of music. I wish I had memorized them when I was in middle school, it's so hard now. I hate our education system. They keep the fine arts, but only enough to the point where students know where they need to get after all of it to make things happen, but they don't have the training they need to make it, and they know it. I know it. I met so many talented people at honors band. They knew so much. I felt like I was in sixth grade again. I think I was more naturally inclined than most, but they had training, and that's all that matters. They've had tons of music theory, expensive private lessons, and opportunities to perform and support from their school that I can't even imagine. I get told by people every day that I just need to settle for how horrible some people in our music program are, and I know how good people can be, how "good" i am, but compared to everyone else out there, how far behind I am and how much more ahead I could be if only I had those few opportunities, and now here I am, almost at the end of the line, getting ready to jump off the airplane and I don't even know how to work my parachute. It might as well be a suicide jump.
But I can't settle, because I know that when I get there it'll all be worthwhile, but can I get there? How? That's my question.
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l<3ve
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denation
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2006 25 February :: 7.22pm
a verbal five fingered slap to the face
Ouch.
Why do I even bother?
It is true, the higher you are the harder you fall.
I hate myself for even thinking I could actually be happy.
My fault entirely.
Am I really that horrible?
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l<3ve
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kellilynn21
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2006 25 February :: 1.26pm
:: Mood: Giggly And Giddy
Yesterday... :D!
Oh my gosh. Yesterday… very very good day. School kind of went slow but after school was when everything went up. The stupid assembly we had was kind of dumb haha. But when I was getting ready to leave school I got to talk to someone that I haven’t talked to in awhile :D. Then at around 6:15 I went and got Lisa and we went to the game so I could get Tyler’s jersey. We were going to go get food after I got it but everything was like speeded up and it was already the 4th quarter of the JV game so we just stayed. The game was pretty awesome. I had a lot of fun, like always. I *LOVE* going to basketball games. This game though, was… *sigh*… the best. All I can really say is… he makes me smile, just by smiling at me. I feel like one of those little girls that gets all giddy about everything that boys do.
Okay, so enough about that haha, then after the game me and Lisa and Jeremy and Nick all went to Arby’s. Oh my goodness, that’s a way different story. Lisa and I had to wait for our food for like 15 minutes. Me and Lisa only friggen ordered 2 fries a sandwich and chicken fingers! Finally 15 minutes later (oh and by the way, they have been giving the people after us their orders and everything, and they didn’t even give us our cups or anything) *oh and I’m not over exaggerating about the 15 minutes part either* so yeah 15 minutes later I finally go up there and I’m like “Ok I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been waiting for my food for like 15 minutes!” and there like “oh well what did u order?” so I told them. Then they were like “oh we must have forgot your order.” So then they like “upgraded” our fries lol. So then I sit down and I open my sandwich and its not even what I ordered. So I have go back up there and they have to make me a new sandwich, THEN I come back and sit down and our fries are the worst fries I’ve ever had. So I made Nick go up there and get me new fries haha. So yeah I’m definitely not going back to Arby’s any time soon. Anywho: that’s all I got!
Leave Some Comments<3!
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l<3ve
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Tails
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2006 25 February :: 7.24am
i hate the casino...they suck they are loud boring and make you lose 20 bucks LOL>!
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l<3ve
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Tails
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2006 23 February :: 12.53am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Silence and the sound the computer fan makes.
not to much man
so, i have more hours at the catoring company again but i still totally need a full time job so that i can MOVE OUT...i mean i kinda sorta gave up cause i spent so much time bitching about it by the time i do move out it wont seem cool anymore and everyone will be like "matt your just a little bitch like always, cept now your a little bitch with an apartment, bitch!" and ill smile and laughing and then kill myself with more cancer. which i need to stop doing. but anyway. so yeah i guess life is at an odd odd standstill. things arent bad. things arent good.
I'm getting 80.92 cents for income tax from arbys...
Megan...not sure how to start addressing the issue.
Do you bring up past problems to fix them if your just now finding out all the really imporant details?
I should ask for some more W2's from the catoring company...cause i have gotten 3 of them...and just keep forgetting to fill them out...then i lose them and bad stuff happens to me when the IRS dosent understand how im getting such large monetary assests without having and form of a job...
But when my free time's gone will you promise me this? That you will please bury me with it?
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l<3ve
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kellilynn21
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2006 17 February :: 11.08pm
:: Mood: Tired And Excited
Definitly Not An Ordinary Day Lol.
So you want to talk about an exciting couple of days... i got it! Yeah, so yesterday was the lovely ice storm of the century. And of course, we lost power along with like 17,000 other people. My dad, my mom, and I all had a candle-light spaghetti dinner last night. I went to bed at, get this, 8:00. I read my book "Phantoms" for about 30 minutes then i just crashed. Their was absalutly nothing to do but have like a stairing contest with my dogs or something lol. Then my dad work me up at like 7:30 and asked me if i wanted to go with him to get our generator from up north. So of course i did because i knew he would buy me breakfast from BK and plus, what else was their for me to do. Oh and about the power cutting out on Thursday- it would cut out on Thursday, the BEST night for my shows! Their was a new Surviver, Without A Trace, AND the best... CSI! Since we have Tivo it normally records things for us, but yeah no recording went on Thrsday night... rar! Anyways so back to this morning, after we got home i started my car cuz like everything was frozen and i didnt want my car to like freeze. Well i had it on for like 30 minutes just warming up, and i still couldnt scrap all the ice completley off of it. It was ridiculous. Then i like called everyone and their brother to see who had electricity and who didnt so that i could take a shower somewhere. Then finally ashley called me and she was going to her dads so of course im going with her lol! On the way there me and Ash were talking about how like everything like the trees and well just everything was frozen and the sun was shining on everything so it seemed like we were living in a glass world. We were talking about how like... its like in the movie "The Day After Tomorrow" and like the whole world is just froze over haha. So yeah when we got here, i took a shower and ooo boy, that shower was the greatest lol. Then me, Ashley, and Brina went to Alpine to go shopping. First we went to Khols and got Brina like 2 outfits, then we went to Target and get her 3 more! She is such a bad kid lol, we were walking in Target like up and down the rows and in her sweet little 3 year old voice she goes... "bbbiitccchh" haha, its so disturbing lol. We picked out some new shoes for her too! There so adorable. So yeah... OMG! Ok so at Target, we were leaving and we were going to the driving exit and Ashley goes "What is that! And why is their windows fogged!? OMG KELLI! LOOK! THEIR HAVING SEX!" I like freaked out. Who has sex in a Target parking lot in the middle of the fucking day! So i told her to turn back and like park right next to them, so she was driving up like next to them and they were like putting their shirts back on hahahahahaha! What an expirence. Once in a life time lol. So yeah after that lovely time, when we got back here (*to Ashleys dads*) he took us all out to dinner. We went to Sams Joint in Rockford, and of coures i got shrimp cuz im obsessed lol. Ashley knew what i was gunna order even before i ordered lol. Then after that Ashley convinced him to bring us to Cold Stone.... YAY! I love Cold Stone:). I had ice cream with M&M's in it... I love how they make it like right in front of you. Brina didnt want anything but sprinkles... lol, no ice cream no nothing, just plain sprinkles lol. I love Ashleys dad. He's like, bomb haha. On Sunday im going over to Brittany Hansons and were going to Chic (Sheekk) to get our hair died with some highlights or lowlights idk yet! Im excited but i dont really know what im getting yet so if anyone has any ideas... comment on if you think i should go darker or lighter... cuz i have no idea!
Anyways i think this journal was long enough and i know the only one whos actually gunna read this whole thing is Ashley so yeah bye lol!
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l<3ve
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denation
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2006 16 February :: 11.32am
all our prayers have been answered
my mom was just approved today for supplimental income, which means all of her medicine (over 700 dollars worth) will be fully covered for the rest of her life AND we will get 600 dollars a month to cover bills, food, and other things.
and now, it won't count how much money I make, which means I can leave my jobs and work at a factory like GRC so I can rack in the money for school!!
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l<3ve
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denation
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2006 15 February :: 3.22pm
I dunno what I deleted, but I messed it up and I had to restore my computer. So now I get to have all the fun downloading everything all over again. But, I want to figure out how to put my iPod songs on my iTunes library without having to go through every CD again. That sucked.
I went into Howie's last night to pick up a shirt for Thursday night, but all they had were large size shirts. So now I'm gonna have to fit into a large until my new one comes in the mail. Fun, eh?
I'm thinking about starting college in the fall instead of the summer. Does that sound stupid?
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l<3ve
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denation
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2006 13 February :: 6.22pm
I am officially working at Hungry Howie's....
and Burger King.
Well, I'll be part-time at BK and part-time at Howie's.
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l<3ve
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tails
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2006 12 February :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Panic! At the Disco - Prolouge
FUCKING GOD!
i hate sundays so much. nothing to do but be alone and stuck in this house. everyone is always busy on sunday with god or something so they never want to hang so i end up dieing in this house. GAH. anyway so yeah someones a liar...wonder who it is.
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l<3ve
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