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2007 11 January :: 10.35pm
ahhhhh it was so stupid of me to take an accelerated online class. i have not started any homework. i have something due tomorrow and something due monday. in fact, i think i'm supposed to have a topic picked for my research paper and a short essay thing saying what it's going to be due by like next wk or something. ugh how dumb!! and you're supposed to participate by replying to other people's comments but their comments are too advanced for me... i dont even know what to say... like what iam i supposed to say "hey, nice answer to the question Mary....good job!" ...no you're supposed engage and advance discussion ... i dont even know anything about this crap. well maybe i should start by reading the book.
ugh i suck i have no motivation and no self discipline so needless to say this was a stupid idea to take a class where i just like get to pick when i want to do stuff and push myself to do it. yeah.
i'm an idiot.
i'mgonna lose my scholarship i just know it.
1 Felt the pain... |
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2007 9 January :: 2.12pm
okay so i got a job at Beaners coffee hooray. who wants a carmel marvel?!?!?!
5 Felt the pain... |
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2007 1 January :: 2.21pm
so yeah i'm really sick and didn't even get to have any fun last night because i was lying on the couch in absolute pain and had to have roman get me medicine and yeah i had a fever and ahhh it just sucked!! i feel a little better right now finally but once the drugs wear off i'll probably feel crappy again. man!
4 Felt the pain... |
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2006 25 December :: 8.53pm
this is NOT to incinuate (sp) anything but i'm honestly just CURIOUS
::::how young do you think is TOO young to get married???:::::
again, i'm just curious what people think.
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2006 23 December :: 3.46pm
i dyed my hair darker last night.
yay
thanks to jess for helping me.
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2006 21 December :: 10.36pm
so yeah i got a bad grade in my math class even though i worked my ass off in that class and now i'll probably never keep my scholarship unless i get all a's next semester which iwont and i will fail at life
...as predicted.
i hate davenport university it is horrible and should die.
goodnight .
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2006 14 December :: 10.00pm
do you ever wonder if everyone is just lieing to you?
3 Felt the pain... |
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2006 10 December :: 11.31am
omg look at my journal. isn't it awesome
okay so i can't really read the words but i dont really care. i need to figure out how to change the font cuz i can't do it the normal way but ohe well.
i'm obsessed.
2 Felt the pain... |
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2006 8 December :: 8.31pm
My boyfriend is wonderful.
do you know why?
because he bought us tickets to go to the Nutcracker Ballet. I went there once when I was in 4th grade. it was so fun. I can't wait.
it's gonna be great. hooray hoorah oh happy day.
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2006 8 December :: 6.59pm
you would not believe what i just did.
so i'm not even gonna tell you.
it's for your own good. or rather, mine. totally mine.
2 Felt the pain... |
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2006 7 December :: 12.12pm
i cannot take this anymore.
i was just emailed by my professor letting me know that the legal memo i handed in , our biggest project that takes forever to do... is wrong. i did the wrong case. i DID THE WRONG CASE.
which means i have to do it all over again. he handed us two different cases i must have somehow picked the wrong one even though right on the front page it says YOUR ASSIGNMENT and talks aobut all the requirements and everything you need when you hand it in.
this is terrific. and i have to work all weekend.
i will never finish everything.
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2006 6 December :: 11.34am
:: Mood: Upset.
:: Music: none.
I have come to the conclusion that I hate this so-called thing called "The Real World".
Is it wrong of me to sit here and listening to this MKTG 412 class start to leave the class room and converse with one another and feel completely certain that 85% of the words that come out of their mouths are so fake and empty? Is it wrong of me to feel that every sentance that is supposed to come out of them with feeling and emotion sounds to me as a lie. Is it wrong of me to feel totally weird that when they talk to one another it's just all an act.
is it wrong for me to think about how they are acting like robots.... when they go home don't they change into sweats and lounge on their couches?? doesn't everyone? they dont honestly go home and stay in their buisness suits and panty hose and high heels and sit in an upright chair making charts and graphs... no one does that. okay maybe not no one. but REAL people. that is what i'm talking about. real people. don't they head home after this and start using SLANG words and maybe throw a cuss word or two around? isn't that comfortable? doesn't anyone go home and open a bag of oreos and dunk it in their milk like a normal person??? can you imagine a bunch of "suits" dunking their oreos? can you? please...
is it wrong of me to walk into a church and get tears in my eyes because i feel like there are conformists. is that the right word? no... i feel like there are people who are certain of where they are going but are yet to find out they are not. ( this is not to offend ANYONE . this is not sarcasm, these are just my feelings FYI)
Is it wrong of me to hurt when people are just talking to each other? I just analyze it all too much i know. But it hurts me that people are just... yeah
where have all the real people gone
i dont want to go to this school
i want to go to a school where there are gays and there is a lesbian club and there are crazy artistic expressive people. i want to go to a school where everyone accepts each other and everyone gets to know each other. i want to go to a school that has an I LOVE JESUS club and tries to introduce everyone to the Lord. I want to go to a school that expresses individuality.
i want to go to a school where people are real.
i can't be cooped up here anymore. i dont know what i'm going to do with my life as far as a career and i can't stay here any longer pretending that i'll be satisfied with myself as a medical assistant or as a health whatever managment blah blah blah 4 year degree office type.
Is it wrong of me to want something creative and new and fresh and meaningful ... is it wrong of me....................................... i know i wont ever MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. but i have to do something.... smarter with myself. please
I NEED TO HELP PEOPLE.
i need to have a satisfying rewarding career.
i need to know that with my everyday work, i make people feel BETTER. More ALIVE. More REAL.
ugh. what do i do. ? please.
5 Felt the pain... |
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2006 5 December :: 8.54pm
can anyone please help me fix my computer. i am getting SO pissed off.
my dvd player in my computer,,,,.... it will play dvds and the video is fine and up to speed but the sound just skips and skips and no it's not the dvd i'm not that dumb but please help me someone or i am going to throw this thing off my balcony. please!
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2006 5 December :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: bored
The Most Random Questions You Will Ever Fill Out
1) What side of the heart do you draw first?
Left side
2) Can you dive without plugging your nose?
i can't dive
3) What color is your razor?
pink
4) What is your blood type? i think b pos
5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
roman or jess prob.
6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you?
ummm that i'm a bitch or that i am mean or hmm i duno i can think of one specific person who just never has enough shit to say about me to another certain...person!!! but oh well she's a bitch anyway. and that's not a rumor.
7) How do you feel about carrots??
they are orange and okay-tasting
8) How many chairs at the dining room table? well if you mean my table.. there are 2...
9) Which is the best Spice Girl?
who knows ...who cares
10) Do you know what time it is?
6.42
11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?
no that show annoys me
12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
i was just thinking about that today as i rode an elevator... um i would probably just relax and take a nap while someone came to rescue me. i might actually be happy about it.
13) What's your favorite kind of gum?
orbit the green kind
14)T or F: All's fair in love and war. no
15)do you have a crush on anyone? no
16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
riiight that doesn't make sense.
17)Do you like to sleep?
way too much.
18) Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings Time?
are there any? i dont think so
19) Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?
yes pretty piano in it.
20) Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
sure i'd sell it though
21) What's something you've always wanted?
a wonderful family
22) Do you have hairy legs?
i guess when i dont shave them :0/
23) What does "Semper Fidelis" stand for?
duno but denee' says it means 'always faithful' and since i copied this survey from her, i know that.
24) Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
lake i dont like salty oceans
25)Do you wear a lot of black?
yeah actually lately
26) Describe your hair?
stupid
27) Do you have Entomophobia?
is that even a real phobia?
28) Are you an adult?
according to my age.
29) Where is/are your best friend(s)?
roman is right next to me playing video games, jess is at the airport i guess and jessie g is at school
30) Do you have a tan?
no not yet but i juust finally bought a tanning package thank goodness
31) Are you a television addict? no but i love grey's anatomy
32) Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? yes because i miss her now that i dont live with her. and she is an awesome person. *tear*
33) Are you a sugar freak? i like my chocolate. a lot.
34) Do you like orange juice? it's ok.
35) What sign are you?
pisces
36) Where do you wish you were right now?
halfway around the world. not havingto worry about money or anything.
37) Who did you copy this from?
denee'
38) How do you know them?
been friends for a long long time. how can you not know the millerings?
39) Have you kissed anyone in the past week?
yeah
40) What are your plans for the weekend?
work of course and most likely nothing else. kinda like all my weekends.
1 Felt the pain... |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 December :: 11.18pm
i'm gonna volunteer to be a mentor at wedgwood . isn't that cool? i'm excited
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