*real eyez.... realize...real liez*

2 days left til *16*..yay
LadiePerfection/Taylor Duzer: yeah whatever because u kno u cant resist his sexin.
all he gotta do it not give u any for 2 weeks
and u will b runnin to have his babies. "give it to me daddy!"



I vow to never break your heart, I'll never let you down, for better or worse,
I'll always be around

 

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So I'm spoiled & I'm rotten in a sinister way

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godessalthena

:: 2015 27 February :: 9.14pm

help

I'm drowning

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 21 February :: 5.24pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: the indiest shit your earholes have heard

.... steppin out (bjorne) ....
so, a creative bug has hit me, and i have written my first song. please keep in mind this is a rough version and is subject to change. at this point i only have the lyrics, but i think i know what key i want to write it in and am working out how i want it to sound. i am, nevertheless, filled with an exuberant amount of pride at this. and while i may feel extremely exposed, please enjoy:

Read more..

thoughts? ideas? please be kind!

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 20 February :: 5.20pm

bought my first new car :3

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 19 February :: 8.49am

forgot my phone at home today >.<

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 18 February :: 9.52pm

totally an adult now. just bought my first newer vehicle!

and I love it!!

she is small, black and quiet, just like my soul... bahahaha /emo

today has been excellent. I am going to just drive everywhere. I'm so stoked gonna drive around with my guitar and some paper and a pen and just get inspired, man.

like a fuckin Subaru commercial, only its a Chevy.

2 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 17 February :: 8.36pm

drunk drunk drunk

wrote my first song today :)

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 15 February :: 8.58pm

I have things I want to say.. but how do I say them

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 15 February :: 10.27am
:: Mood: nostalgic

bwahaha just as good as i remember

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 11 February :: 9.06pm

maybe.. just maybe... everyone is an asshole who wants to hurt me...

best start assuming the worst in everyone. save me a lot of time and feelings. and then I can die old, alone, and safe.

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 11 February :: 5.57am
:: Mood: relieved

last night was a good night. tonight will be good too. monday was good too!

Monday was also the anniversary of the passing of my grandpa. it's been 13 years since then, and I miss him every day.

also, I haven't heard from andrew in a month and a half. I even tried adding money to his phone. I'm gonna try to write to him again, but last time the letter never made it..

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 10 February :: 5.28pm

i think i want a woohu tattoo.

5 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 9 February :: 8.39am

over slept 1.5 hours
big sister interview tonight
grandpas anniversary tonight
desk is overflowing with work

I want another vacation haha

3 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 6 February :: 7.39pm

I love when you crawl into new clean sheets, after a nice shower, cuddled with two wonderful puppies. damn, life is good.

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 5 February :: 11.01am

surrounded and spiraling

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 31 January :: 2.46pm
:: Mood: happy

in love with my new laptop. definitely worth the money I paid. Only downside is that the CD to install MS Works was shipped separately and not as fast so I can't do my stupid assignment. go figure.

but otherwise, it is so fast, and awesome. (i hate windows 8)



Having my family over for dinner tonight! very nervous. very.

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 24 January :: 5.09pm
:: Mood: satisfied

I dig my toes into the sand. the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket. I lean against the wind and pretend I am weightless, and in this moment I am happy.

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 22 January :: 10.19am

stayed home today.. didn't want to go to work and deal with these emotions. processed Samie in therapy.

it's hard to let go, take a step back, when you see them every day. that relationship has been causing me frustration and hurt and sadness.

I've poured almost three years of my life into her, and most of the time she couldn't care less about me. it's just take, take, take. me me me.

I can't remember if it was always like this, but i get mad at myself for thinking the pretty things she said were true.

and now she's turned into someone I hardly recognize.

and I still see her almost every day.

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 16 January :: 10.07am

just got laid, Friday night. party's hopping, feeling right.

no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 9 January :: 5.13am

the key to happiness involves two things:

1. invest in yourself. love yourself like you'd love your one true love. if you wouldn't do it to them, don't do it to yourself.

2. invest time in those who invest time into you. there are a lot of people vying for your attention, and not all of them will give you the respect you deserve. be a little choosy with your love, because the people you choose to love act like a mirror for how you love yourself.

I've learned so much since I started therapy. and not only learned, but held accountable for implementing and following through on these changes.

I also have become more and more convinced that karma is real. you get out of life what you put in, so I've been trying to avoid doing thing I wouldn't want to happen to me. and fighting for truth, love and justice.

like j says, there are going to be good days and there are going to be terrible days. it's impodtnat to remember that pain is temporary, and letting things go feels so much better than holding on when it comes to things like hatred, pain, jealousy, worthlessness, hopelessness, or revenge.

growing up hasn't really been fun, but with the tools I've aquired, and the skills I'm strengthening, I know my future will be much more fun than it was to get to this point.

p.s. I've lost 10lbs since November :D

1 ooh* | no she didn't!


godessalthena

:: 2015 6 January :: 9.26pm

a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day turned into......

the best mental health day taken in a long time <3

much needed pb&j time completely recovered me. and helped me realize that it's okay to have bad days, as long as you give them the opportunity to get better.

I am eternally grateful to have an amazing support system. and I'm so glad Alexz and I were able to become so close! I would never have imagined!

:)

no she didn't!

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