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i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR

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xoxchubbyxox

:: 2004 2 September :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: lol my new clip on desk fan :-D

boredom
hello, i just cam,e back form the surprsingly large mall and shopping center in nh...got some clothes, and accessories for my new room. i wish i could move my house to natick...i cant help crying when i feel so alone here. evrything is so different. it still feels like im only on atrip, and that im gunna come home, i know its gunna take so long to adjust...and im not prepared. i just wish this never happened...i just never imagined it would...ive seen this situaion from the outside looking in, but now its the opposite. i feel liek ive complained enoiugh abotu this, but its all i feel...and all i can think about iguess....idk

*darien

...SoMeWhErE...

xoxchubbyxox

:: 2004 31 August :: 10.29pm

no one gives a shit.

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 31 August :: 9.22pm
:: Music: me :-)

we start school tomorrow :-\

ickyyyyy well im sitting here in a towel haha with my ponds pore strip on my nose haha im a geek... well this summer had its ups and downs.. but over all i think that we had a good one..which came all too quickly to an end...so heres to summer 04' which i wont too soon forget..

----------------------

oh yeahhh i wrote a new song today :-)

starring into your eyes
wondering what life has in store for me
take a look through the lies
and see that you were always by my side

wanted to be eveyrthing that you could see
the one youd leave.. and say you loved
i dont know what the problem was
i couldnt have you.. no

(chorus)
i wanted you
i needed you
and you dont love me...baby

trying to be what the world just wants to see
looking the same as everybody else
nobody knows whats deep in my soul
nobody looks beyond these curls

brown eyes hypnoitized by the light
for so long living in darkness yeah
i dont know what to do...

(chorus)

i just want you to know
im gonna be alright now
dont need you by side now
i will be strong

i will hold on even without you here..
even without you here
even without you im moving on
moving on to a brighter day

(chorus)

baby kiss me
baby love me
tell me all your deepest sins
just hold me.. in the darkness and then
tell me everything will be alright baby

ohhh tell me its ok
ohhh just tell me its fine
ohhh im tired of crying
just want you to be mine..

i needed you...yeah
and you dont love me.. dont love me.. no
you just wont ever love me..
gotta let it go...
gotta let you go..
your gone..

- manda

http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=1558453&q=Hi

...SoMeWhErE...

xoxchubbyxox

:: 2004 31 August :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: completely alone
:: Music: none

i dont know...
ive been either furniture shopping, unpacking, organizing, or cleanin g for the past four days. the rest of my time was spent in my room crying, and wishing i could come home. there isnt nething i wouldnt do to come home, and go to school with all of u tomorrow. i miss u so much and ive been here for less than a week.

please write to me or just call me, u have no idea how much it would mean to me.

ill try and update as much as i can, but who really cares if i dont?

i dont belong here, i know i never will.

i have no one.

...SoMeWhErE...

cocopuff

:: 2004 31 August :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Jewel-"Foolish Games"

blah

Yea well in sittin here on my last day of summer at 6:30 talkign to Alex... i know the wost thing to do on the last day of summer!!! im soo mad that school is tomorrow... this summer blew balls i was grounded for most of it,.. and then after that i dont liek we have liek 2 weeks in a row that one of my friends or i wasnt going on another family trip of boringness.. and even whe we were togeth we didnt do nehting of great excitement... but w/e it was summer... now fuckign school is starting up tomorrow and that sux and its kinda good... i miss seein everyone that i dont normally see and believe it or not i kinda miss havein shit todo... lol cuz this sum,mer was borign cuz there was leik nothin to do... but i gfuess schol will b ok for leik the firast 2 days thenim goann want to get the fuck out again..

This year is goann b 1000000 tiomes different then last year... last year i did shit and kida sucked at school.. this yea in cuttin back on smokeign and shit and bing retarted and im goann try and do kinda good in school... lol its goann b soo hard to cut back on getting high i doubt i can do it but im gonna try...

and this year... my god ther better b less drama cuz its fuckin gay to everyday have ppl fightin over stupid shit... i think the best way to stop dram is fuckgin bitches to shut the fuck up and stop talkin shit unless ur really gonna do something.. and the number on way to stop drama is how about not believen everythin u hear.. and stop saying shit that u dotn know a thing about... its really easy...

yeah well its my little bros b day... soo im off to eat dinner and have soo fuckin CAKE :-)

<3 lizzy

1 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

xonixieox

:: 2004 30 August :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: my sniffling still

FUCK THE WORLD
ok well today i talked to amanda and she was at benhem with emme.. i miss them both..

oh wait first it started where i was supposed to do something with becca but "shes out with the girls" so whatever fuck that!

so i asked my mom to drive me she sed no... then i asked her again and she sed fine..

then my dad sed no dont drive her anywhere shes a rude ignorant bitch

so i yelled and sed that i didnt do anything and they just boith started hitting me and yelling and screaming and i cant stop crying..

then i went outside for air because you know when you cry really hard how you cant breath? ya so when i went to go back insidse they locked me out so i was banging and they were standing there inside watching me but they wouldnt open the door...

at that moment i just wanted to go lay down in the middle of rt 9 and just kill myself! i really want to right now

u fucking hate my family... then my sister opened the door and they pushed me and locked it again.. when they finnaly let me in they sed they called the cops... i kinda wish thewy had so i wouldnt have to still be here!

well then they unplugeed my cable but i figured it out and now...

now.. now i can still hear them yelling at eachother abouit me like always! if my dad cant yell at me he will find someone to yell at! :(

thats all i can write im too upset.. to much going through my head..

i thought about so much... the butchers knofe... asprin.. my dads heart meds.. rt 9 .. i dont know i just dont want to be here anymore... what is there really to live for? nothiing... NOTHING at all

4 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

xonixieox

:: 2004 30 August :: 8.31pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: my sniffling?

i fucking hate everyone!
grrrrrrr

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 28 August :: 6.25pm

You and I got somethin but it’s all
and then its nothin to me …yeah
And I got my defenses when it comes
to your intentions for me … yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown of the
things we never thought we could be
…yeah

I’m not the one who break you
I’m not the one you should fear
We got to move to move you darlin’
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus:
Yeah … Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin’
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution to the sound of this pollution in me..yeah
And I was not the answer so forget
you’d ever thought it was me….yeah
I’m not the one who broke you
I’m not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin’
I thought I lost you somewhere but
you were never really ever there at all

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don’t need to fall out of all the
past that’s in between us
And I’m not holdin on, you know your
last word wasn’t enough to keep me
here

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
I know it’s out there,
I know it’s out there
I can feel you fallin
I know it’s out there,
I know it’s out there
Somehow here is gone
I know it’s out there,
I know it’s out there
Somehow here is gone

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 28 August :: 5.59pm

I wouldn't know what to do with another chance
If you gave it to me
I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance
It's race right through me
I'm much better off the way things are
Much much better if, better by far, by far
I wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice
It'd roll right past me
And if you chalk it up you'll see I don't really have a choice
So don't even ask me
I'm much better off, the way things are
Much much better off, better by far
So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on
How can I fight, when we're on the same side
How can I fight beside you
So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
Ans I'll keep on kicking the crap will it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on
So keep on callng me names, keep on, keep on
And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 26 August :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: empty
:: Music: this ring x tech n9ne

i dont know exactly whats wrong with me but i feel so extremely emotional.. like i feel so empty.. and abandoned and like i dont even know what i feel i like.. feel like time is passing too quickly and like things are changing and i hate change.. i feel like everything i care about is just gonna leave me.. and im really sad about kaitlin leaving.. im going to miss her so much.. and all her freidns too.. theyre all downstairs right now.. for theyre last party before they all leave for college... i have a bad feeling about this year.. i feel like im gonna do bad in school and lose all my friends idk.. but like kelsey and all them dont even hang out with robbie anymore and i feel like im not gonna be able to see them cuz my friends wont want to and vise versa..

i dont know maybe im just stupid maybe everything will be fine i mean i hope it is.. i just have a bad feeling and i constantly feel depressed now.. like so on edge..

and i miss lizzy.. i feel like i dont know her.. i feel like everything is changing and i dont want it to.. we were so close.. like ever since we first met.. and everything is just getting fducked up

i dont know i dont udnerstand myself..

i gotta go..

- manda

2 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

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