krazykelc1
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2004 25 October :: 7.46pm
:: Music: Crossfade ` Cold
wow
well today just follows my last entry..
I guess its back to that whole game we play.. over and over again.
we'll see what tomorrow brings then update more, good day.
.to me.
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krazykelc1
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2004 24 October :: 11.40am
:: Music: Kanye West ` I Used to Love U
hm.. how does it feel.. the only person who's ever truely cared about you is just slipping away before your eyes.. maybe when you grow up you'll realize what you lost and how badly you fucked up something that you wanted and needed..
if only you had taken the time to really know me.. you would have seen what it was that always brought you back to me
you're gonna miss me..
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krazykelc1
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2004 24 October :: 11.09am
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: Kanye West ` I Used to Love U
Good Morning
Last night was amazing like woahh!
I got drunk before hand.. not intentionally but that's what you get when you wave alcohol in front of my face. baha so anyways being intoxicated at a party is key cause you know you don't give a fuck what ppl think and you just act like yourself. I don't remember anything I did the first half of the party but I had a great time anyway I love you Nicole!
now its off to work, good dayy :-)
.to me.
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xonixieox
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2004 24 October :: 9.27am
last night was my party.. i had fun!! i made out with like $300 and a bunch of presents..
some people said they wee going.. but just never showed up.. it was kinda gay.. anyways i know who my true friends are..
i love you guys..
ya so my party was pretty interesting.. all the guys sat down and noone danced.. it was funny.. finally some of them danced..
we have sooooooooooooo much food left over tho!!
ohhh ya so friday night we were going to have fun but my zoloft was giving me heart pains.. so now i stoped taking it so i can have fun again!!!! ya well me amanda virginia bill and dj all watched forest gump and fell asleep after that! it was soooooooooooooo cold out tohugh.. becasue before the movie we had a bond (or bon or whatever the fuck you call it) fire! it wasnt even that wasrm though :( !!! ohh well.. thats all for now.. i have pictures!!!!
post them later!
-Nik
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cocopuff
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2004 23 October :: 2.38pm
:: Mood: thirsty
:: Music: Keane-"Bend and Break"
lol well im trying to get back in th swing of writing in this again... not doign very good but hey im trying lol...
well this week has been pretty good... nothin exciting has happend.. jsut same old going out with madna after school to johns normally and then dt... fun but nothing new lol
oh and i got a job! lol everyone wroks at Stop and Shop so i decided i would b the origional one and get a job at Roch Bros... lol i start monday, joy joy lol... atlest now i will have some money so i can eat lunch and have money for other things...
tonight is nikkies party! should b funnn!! :-)
and on a sad note.. my Goncha is leavein :-(... shes going back to turkey on november 3ed... sux cuz before i had a problem with her and now that i know her and love her she leaves.... but i guess im happy that i got to b frineds with her even tho shes leaving... still EL7 BIIIITCH!!! aww im gonna miss u Goncha!!
well im off to try and find johnny mo!! cuz i was sopsot to chill wiht him but i took to long in the shower that he went out... lol imm write back sometime...
~lizzy
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krazykelc1
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2004 23 October :: 10.32am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Ashanti ` Only you
Update
well yesterday after school meg & kate came over then we went to robbie's and the bike track after that. then we got picked up and went to party city to get our halloween costumes. we spent like an hour looking at things that were sold out and then finally decided to make our own costumes. we got witches hats and brooms with glow n' the dark tights haha we're original :-D I came home last night from the football game and realized I dont know where my witch's hat is though... so my mom got all mad and told me if I stopped smoking weed that I'd be able to remember things, like where I left my hat, bahahah. well she said she would go buy a new one for me so it's all good.
anyways I have work soon.. I don't get out til 6. then I have nikkie's partyy to go to ! :-) I love her. it will be exhilarating
well that's about it - write more later
<3kels
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silentcriez
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2004 22 October :: 7.07am
i had another weird dream.. part of which is much too graphic for this journal.. haha
well.. part of my dream was i was at someones house but i forget who.. and i was randomly taking a shower and then all of a sudden the shower went dry and there was no more water and i had to sleep with like soapy hair it was gross... and i cant really remember but i also had a dream that my mom was in.. hmm..
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xonixieox
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2004 21 October :: 7.01pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: over and over
people!!!
ok well today i was in a pretty good mood until becca started bitching at me.. like i really need that shit right now honestly.. like i wasnt even mad becasue im just trying to let everything go.. i got put on Zoloft today so hopefully it will help me :/
ya so i wasnt mad until she blamed me for "leaving her in the middle of the street where anything could happen" well i talked to amanda, Dj, and bil;l and they all sed that i was the ONLY person trying to keep becca in the car.. so that just upsets me to think htat if anything did happen if she would like blame it on me ya know? ya but it just made me sad becasue i thought she forgot about my birthday.. like i think about how close we used to be and my 8th grade yead that was honestly the best year of my life.. and i see how much i miss her.. and i guess i try to push hewr away becasue being mad feels better than missing her without seeing her.. i dont really know what im saying.. im probobly the only one this makes sense to but whatever.. i just hope she is still going to my party :(
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I can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it's a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh
But I think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I Can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it
Nooo
I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that u would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keep playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing my head
Over and over again
Ohh
I think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I Can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo
(Now that I've realizes that I'm going down
From all this pain you've put me through
Everytime I close my eyes I like it down
I can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo
Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it's all in my head
.to me.
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xonixieox
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2004 21 October :: 6.41am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: some weird bomb nose my comp is doing..
Birthday!!
ya so my birthday sucked..
the people i thought were my "Best friends" i.e. BEAN.. half of them didnt even wish me a happy birthday.. like honestly what kind of friends are those.. its just like the other day i was getting bitched at for not wanting to go our to dinner.. so we were on our way and then one of them flipped out and got out to do "more important things" well i dunno what ot do about this but i happens wayyyy to much.. i cant entirely blame BEAn becasue Amanda White is amazing.. i love her sooooooo much.. she made me brownies and then i was sad last night so i went over there with dj and bill and we watched the game.. and we WON!!!! hell ya..
ohhh ya and they did end up saying happy birthday.. but only when my birthday was already over.. seriously now i know who im gunna be wishing happy birthdays to this year..
anyways.. back to the SOX!!
i was really excited that we won on my birthday but someone pointed out that we won at exactly 12:01.. ohhh well!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GENE WHITE!!!!!
ya so basically my birthday sucked.. i hope big Genes is better..
well i did get my permit.. that made it a little better :/
-Nik
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krazykelc1
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2004 20 October :: 8.31pm
:: Mood: High
:: Music: Twista`Korrupt World
Bad Week.
this week sucked. It started off shitty and got worse. Bad things that happen to me just seem to have a domino effect.. once it starts it doesn't end until I'm completely miserable. It was so bad yesterday that I just left early. So early that I was only in school for about 20 minutes.. then I came home. Stayed high the whole day. Watched movies and stuff.. how productive. That's why I've dropped out of half the classes I had this year and am still in the process of dropping to 2 level English.. and that shows alot seeing as how English has always been my best subject. Mrs. Simms sucks but she's right.. I am perfectly capable of doing the work.. She just doesn't know me well enough to know I'm LAZY, I can't concentrate on anything important and I just don't care enough to stay in her class and work hard. I'd rather be able to do my work with ease.. I hate challenge, which probly isn't a good thing.
Well this is getting lengthy and I'm sick of whining. Good day.
Comments, PLEASE
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cocopuff
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2004 19 October :: 7.24pm
:: Mood: burnt out
:: Music: Seether-" Broken"
been a while
lol now thats its been forever sinc iv written in here...
lol nikkie yelled at me today and told em to write in ehre again.. and im bored and have nothign to do so i figured i would..
well ICP was fuckin awesome...12 DAYS TILL FRIGHT FEST!!! i cant wait!!!
this weekend is Nikkies birthday!! that should b alotta fun tooo!!
hmm what else is new... oh yea! lol i got a job at roche bros.. working after school a couple days a week, not bad.. id rather have my weekends free... lol and yes roche bros not stop and shop.. everyoen works there... but yea i went and did all the paper work for that today.. madna went home sick so i went with nikkie and traci to have fun then we went to go get food.. fun funnn lol
oh yea and GO SOX!!! have faith lol we can do it this year... i hope :-/ ...
but now i rememberd y i dont write in this much... lol cuz im boring... lol so i will stop borin you people...
http://virtual.bonghit.net/
<3 Lizzy
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xonixieox
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2004 19 October :: 12.45pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: none..
im in english
ok so im in english right now.. my birthday is tomorrow!! yay!!!
anyways.. i had a really bad day at practice yesterday.. like i was honestly seriously thinking about quiting.. obv. im not gunna quit but i dunno about basketball season.
ok so we were doing our lib and i thought it was going well.. then stacy told me to bring it above my head, so i tried but either virginia or cait was pulling it out.. then she kept yelling at me but i was trying really hard..
then she told cait she should main base becasue she was doing all the work even though that is bullshit!!! whatever i just cant stand the way varsity is always mean to jv and they say comments that arent needed.. like i like stacy becasue shes usually always nice to me and all that shit.. and i know she wasnt trying to be mean.. but it just really upset me..
im already so sick of how this team doesnt care and everybody goes to practice when they want to.. and that like 5 people have quit.. w arent even going to comp.. and we are only having like 3 games so theres really no point of even having a jv.. i guess im just not good enough for cheerleading and thats why im on the suckey team..
if i do try out for basketball season and i dont make varsity im done with cheerleading forever.. its a waste of time and money..
ok those are my feelings for now..
-Nik
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silentcriez
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2004 19 October :: 9.57am
:: Music: i'm stupid x abandoned pools
BLAH
home sick again..
im getting my wood floors put in today.. i guess theyre gonna take 3 days tho
friskey has a bite on her back and it looks bad i think were taking her to the animal hospital today.. she better be alright i love her so much
heres a song.. kinda sums up me
I'm stupid , you're smarter
I'm stupid, for thinking there's a way
this could turn out right
I'm dreaming, you woke up
I should have known from the start
that you were never mine
'Cause if I can make you love me
you're out of reasons to stay
Make it easy on yourself
Don't worry about me
Can't make you feel something you don't
I'm crying, but don't pity
I'm dying, but just walk away
It will be all right
'Cause I was dreaming but you woke up
And Im gonna miss you but I
am gonna be all right
'Cause if I can make you love me
You're out of reasons to stay
make it easy on yourself
dont worry about me
If I can't make you love me
You're not the one here to blame
I will make it on my own
don't worry about me
.to me.
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silentcriez
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2004 18 October :: 6.08pm
:: Music: only you x ashanti
hummm
i stayed home from school today.. i didnt feel good and just needed to rest.. i hate mondays
i cant describe how i feel right now..idk what it is but i feel like somethings missing maybe its the fact that everything is changing? maybe its the fact that i dont talk to half of the people i used to.. idk i mean it feels good to make new friends.. but what happens when im sick of meeting new people and just want my old friends back.. i dont know.. i dont want the winter to come i dont wanna be sad.. i dont wanna be alone and i dont want things to be different anymore...
i just want to sing.. and i just want to do something with my life.. life is so short and i dont want to waste it..
idk what the hell im rambling about i just needed to get all this shit out.. not like anyone actually reads it or anything
once again ive been caught in the same infamous situation.. me wanting somebody i know i shouldnt have.. fucking shit up and realizing i cant have them.. and then leading someone on i should like.. could be happy with but cant force myself to be with.. idk how i get myself into these situations..
i miss my mom.. i miss having someone who actually cared.. i cant believe its been over a year now that shes been gone.. its still so unreal to me because i like to keep it out of my mind.. but the truth is that shes gone and never ever coming back into my life.. maybe someday ill become something that shell wish she never abandoned.. who knows..
- manda
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xonixieox
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2004 18 October :: 6.20am
:: Music: tobey keith x stays in mexico
yesterday!
hahah yesterday i chilled with julie and virginia and then we met up with jimmy (pickeles) ya so anyways im so proud of virginia shes fucking hilarious.. hahahahahahahahahaha i cant even write it in here its to fucking funny! hahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ya anyways thats all.. nothing else special happened..
ohhh but our fucking burner wont work and i pissed.. i fucking hate this computer!
-Nik
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