home | profile | guestbook


.:*Chubby*:.

recent entries | past entries


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 12 April :: 2.46pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: bleeding through

just when i thought he couldn't get more amazing
he surprises me...YET AGAIN.

x silver skullz: well, thats just the way i feel...idk i feel so unsuperior
x silver skullz: like a piece of shit
dmbmustang8766: inferior?
dmbmustang8766: dont feel that way
dmbmustang8766: cuz ur not
x silver skullz: well, i do
dmbmustang8766: u shuldnt
x silver skullz: i dont know why i do
dmbmustang8766: :-\
x silver skullz: your just amazing, you really are
dmbmustang8766: aww
dmbmustang8766: im really not though
x silver skullz: more than any guy i've ever met...
x silver skullz: no you really are
dmbmustang8766: :-\
x silver skullz: i mean please, i've gone out with SO MANY guys and none of them have EVER asked to kiss me
x silver skullz: your just...amazing, really.
dmbmustang8766: egh, i just didnt wana get slapped or somethin
dmbmustang8766: i dont think so, but thanx
x silver skullz: whatever, thats what i think
dmbmustang8766: u still shuldnt feel that way though
x silver skullz: but i do, and i was just scared that you were never going to talk to me again
x silver skullz: or hang out with me for that matter
dmbmustang8766: no,
dmbmustang8766: actually
dmbmustang8766: i was worried bout u on the train
dmbmustang8766: cuz u didnt come online
dmbmustang8766: n u didnt cal bak
x silver skullz: and to be completely honest i like you ... a lot
dmbmustang8766: <3
x silver skullz: :-[
dmbmustang8766: aw
x silver skullz: :-'
x silver skullz: *:-\
dmbmustang8766: dont make that face lol, i <3 u
x silver skullz: and honestly, i know its not what you want right now but i could picture myself being with no one but you.
dmbmustang8766: awwww
x silver skullz: :-X
dmbmustang8766: awww. nonono i like u. . . hunn i rele gota get off though, il def ttu 2moro
dmbmustang8766: 2moro
dmbmustang8766: i mean later
dmbmustang8766: lol
dmbmustang8766: <333 mwaaa ilu
x silver skullz: ok ttyl xo mwa <3

...he is the most amazing thing in the world

6 .from you. | .to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 12 April :: 11.30am

bored, going out tonight
well alcohol
You're addicted to.....

Alcohol!
Mmmmmmm, Mmmmmm, Bitch! I like you, alcohol is one
of the better things to be addicted to. The
only bad part is it makes you feel like doing
nothing and the next morning you get a terrible
hangover.


What are you addicted to? (pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
this is for my boredom.

->im going to sherris around 7 and her dad is driving us to the club (2686) kim is asking her boyfriend if he wants to go. i miss her and i wanna see her!!! well, my mom is picking me up around 11:30. next weekend maybe i'll hang out and drink with brian and a couple of people and i might hang out with derek (aw i <3 him) well, i dont know what else to write because there is nothing. hopefully i'll convince my mom to take me shopping to buy a shirt for tonight because i dont have one to wear. im gonna ask brian to come to the club tonight and my mom will give him a ride home. well, bye bye kiddies :)

[[iheartderekwithallofmyheart<3]]

4 .from you. | .to me.


silentcriez

:: 2004 11 April :: 9.41pm

i guess it is obvious now that i really have no reason on this earth i guess ive comfortated myself with ethe thought that i was here for some purpose that iw ould make something fo myself.. i guess ive always felt destined to be something great but i dont think its so true anymore. my heart weeps in despondency i am nothing but salted fears and stale memories. nothing is really left for me things i used to find comfort in slowly metling awwy. all my old emotions gone.. i mean i dont care about myself.. let alone liek myself. but no, i would never choose to be anyone else. i guess if i had to suffer as anyone it might as well be me...

i find myself constantly writing of love and search for happiness.. but my heart does not truly love anyone.. oive been proven not to trust anyone throughout my life. i am only 14 years old and i have already lost faith in all, including myself. i find it sad how in teh depth of depression i feel teh best... and when i torture myself it makes the slightest lift of stress all that better.. sometimes i just want to hurt myself.. get teh courage to press down teh blade... hurting teh thing on teh outside because i hate whats on the inside.. its such a fad now... ppl showing off that they cut... its a real issue.. nothing to be joked with. nobodies issues can be bad enough to cut. they dont even udnerstand it...the seriousness of all of it... teh symbolism of the blood.. the rush in the sting of the blood seeping from your veins. all of your emotions draining from pale skin like the years you cry... not even i fully understand...

sean told me tonight i always need to get my way.. i guess its true dammit... why am i so stubborn? well its easter.. didnt do ANYTHING special.. dad got home around 5 from florida...i made dinner... and he got me some stupid easter bunny candy.. not like he really cared about it. my first easter without my mom.. and it was a sucky one.. she called my cellfone to talk to me.. and i still am not speaking with her.. when will she understand that what she did was wrong and that i am not teh one being stubborn here. until she realizes the flaws in her ways i will not speak to that selfish woman...

oh the insanity i felt last night.. the chemicals sworming my system.. i kept thinking about tihngs when i was trying to go to sleep.. i thought about how im moving wayyy to fast and im only 14.. i need to slow down.. liek drinking and smoking...its horrible in teh next couple years im already gonna be sick of it... well my birthdays coming up soon.. its gonna suck... moms prolly gonna try n call me or somethihng.... erg my first birthday without my mom... prolly spend it crying or something... damn... i hate this and i hate every emotion running through my veins.. wont they just freeze.. and i wont wake up.. all would be so much easier....

5 .from you. | .to me.


cocopuff

:: 2004 11 April :: 4.12pm
:: Music: Gin Blossums-"Hey Jealuosy"

Im back!
lol yea well im back from hickvill... lol well other then the whole trip it was fun! lol all i did was sit on my ass and watch ppl get shit faced and b the biggest hicks iv ever seen.. hahah but i guess thats where i get my hickness from... lol but im happy to b back!! i missed everyone!!!!lol yea well im home soo im happy and i don't have tiem to waste updatign this but i might later...

.to me.


krazykelc1

:: 2004 11 April :: 3.09pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Ruff Ryder All Star Freestyle

Easter is such a fucking boring holiday.






+*+ Essentials +*+
Name: Kelsey Elisabeth
Age On Your Next B-Day: 15
B-Day: July 21
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
+*+ Your Room +*+
Color of Walls: Nostalgic Deep Purple
Computer?: Duhh
TV?: Yep
DVD Player?: Yep
VCR?: Yep
Phone?: Yes...I have it all
Bed or Futon?: Bed
Twin? Full? Queen? KING?: Twin
+*+ Beloveds +*+
Book: Haunted Sister
Colour: uhh pink purple black white silver..
Year In School: uhh 8th I guess, Freshman year sucks
Friend: I love em all
Sport: Soccer
Smell: The Ocean, barbecues, summer nights
Magazine: Seventeen
Lotion: Abercrombie Sweet Blossom, Perry Ellis America
Body Spray/Perfume/Cologne: Bath&BodyWorks-SweetPea & Moonlight Path. Victoria's Secret-Sexy. Axe/Old Spice/Curve
Beverage: Chocholate Milk,Lemonade, Orange Soda,Coffee
+*+ Cronies +*+
Secret Keeper: Kate
Good Listener: Kate
Trustworthy: Kate & Liz
Good Shopper: Meg
Best Personality: Liz
Best Athlete: Dont know
Best All-Around: not sure
Most Honest: Liz
Liar: dont know
Betrayer: umm I've decided to forget that
Lovestruck: Meg
Moody: Meg
Morbid: whats that mean?
Drama Queen: Andrea
Annoying: I could name a few
Dork: Meg & Kate
Intelligent: Amanda
+*+ Your Family +*+
Like 'em?: Depends on who and whats going down
Brothers?: 2
Sisters?: 0
you like your parent(S)?: At times
Why?: Long story
Oh...: Ya....
+*+ Misc +*+
like to shop?: Yep
Colour of Backpack: umm I have a skyblue one and a navy blue one
Brand of Backpack: LL.Bean
Email Address: babyblue2189@aol.com
AIM ScreenName: krazykelc1
Burn CDs?: Yep
DL Musak?: Yep
Awesome-est Site: dunno
Did You Like this survey?: If I didn't would I be taking it?
Why?: Are u that thick?
Oh...: Ya..you are
What Kinda Comp/Laptop you got?: Dell
niiice...: ya u know it
Ciao: adios

.to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 11 April :: 12.45pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: a static lullaby - lipgloss and letdown

quiz cause im bored..what now?
[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::: Marissa Leigh
Birthplace ::: Oceanside, NY
Age ::: 15
Age you act ::: pretty old, not really sure
Current location ::: East 'Cock'away, NY
Eye color ::: hazely
Hair color ::: broawn with blonde highlights
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::: righty
Zodiac sign? ::: scorpio
Height? ::: 4'11"
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::: Russian
Your hair ::: long and straight
Your fears ::: spiders and heights
Your perfect room ::: red walls,lots of leopard and band posters
What you practically do in a day ::: go to school,eat,online,phone
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::: aww,lol
Phrases you overuse ::: fuck you
Your first thought when you wake up ::: grrr i have to get through this day
Your greatest accomplishment ::: who knows?
Something you want to do ::: be with him <3
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::: coke
McDonald's or Burger King ::: mcdonalds
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::: christina aguilera
Chocolate or vanilla :: chocolate
Adidas or Nike ::: adidas
Black or white ::: black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::: bills - DUH
Burgers or hot dogs ::: burgers
Egypt or France ::: hmm france
Rock or rap ::: rock
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::: used to - haven't had a cigg in like a month!
Cuss ::: yupps
Sing well ::: eh
Sing in the shower ::: yeah *blush*
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::: hmm mayyybe
Believe in yourself ::: not usually
Like taking these longass surveys? ::: when im bored, yeah
Play an instrument ::: none, i used to play clarinet
Want to go to college? ::: yes i do
Want to get married? ::: yeah
Want to have children ::: i wanna adopt
Think you're a health freak? ::: not at all
Get along with your parents ::: my mom most of the time
Get along with your siblings? ::: nahh
Think you're popular ::: no, im not nor do i want to be
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::: mmm no
Drank alchohol ::: yes
Smoke ::: no but i wish :(
Get high ::: nah
Done any drugs ::: nopeeeee
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::: never have
Been on stage ::: nope
Gone skinny dipping ::: nah
Been dumped ::: nope
Dyed your hair ::: not in the past month
Stolen anything ::: nope
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::: scutch
Loudest ::: jenn
Most shy ::: lauryn
Blondest ::: .. sammi
Smartest ::: jaymes
Kindest ::: timmy
Best personality ::: thats gotta be krystyn
Most talented ::: jenn - DEFF
Best singer ::: jenn, haha
Most ghetto ::: christal/jaymes
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::: paris
Pain in the ass ::: grrrr andrew
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::: lol deff leslie
Funniest ::: jessyca
Best person for advice ::: sherri,sammi
Dependable ::: jaymes,tim,sal
Trustworthy ::: jaymes
Druggie ::: josh
Most likely to end up in jail ::: josh
Person you've known the longest ::: sammi/jaymes
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::: i dont remember
Last nightmare ::: .. i dont know
Car ride ::: to the rockville center train station
Last time you cried ::: yesterday, when i banged my head on the wall
Last movie seen ::: the whole 10 yards
Last movie rented ::: bring it on....AGAIN
Last book read ::: Frank McCourt
Last word said ::: shut up
Last curse word said ::: fuck
Last time you laughed ::: friday with derek
Last phone call ::: my mom
Last CD played ::: switchfoot
Last song you listened to ::: idk number 5 on the switchfoot CD
Last annoyance ::: haha my sister
Last IM ::: Roberto
Last weird encounter ::: umm idk
Last person you hugged ::: derek <3
Last person you yelled at ::: my sister
Last time you wore a skirt ::: ummm i dont remember
Last time you've been evil ::: always
Sarcastic? ::: ummm i am sarcastic all the time
Last time you fought with your parents ::: today
Last time you wished upon a star ::: i dont ever anymore
Played Truth or Dare ::: in like 6th grade?
Spent quality time alone ::: right now
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: yes
Do you feel lonely ::: ehh sometimes
Ever TP'd someone's house ::: no, its pathetic and ridiculous
How about egging someone's house ::: nahh, stupid.
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: ah, im scared- what?
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: nope...
Yo Momma ::: STOP IT BITCH!
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: ummm not really
What do you think of George Bush? ::: asshole.
Any secret fetishes? ::: yupp ;)
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::: hehe..maybe
How many languages do you speak? ::: uh 1!
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::: nahh
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you XP)) ::: darn :-/ lol jp

i was bored. i might go visit my grandma today but im not sure. i wanna go shopping. i wanna go to the club tomorrow but im not sure if im going to be allowed to. shit, i fucking hate easter because i have nothing to do because im jewish ahh oh well.

derekisasexyfuckingmofo<3

4 .from you. | .to me.


krazykelc1

:: 2004 11 April :: 12.03pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Mobb Deep-Got it twisted

Happy Easter



HaPpY EaStEr!

I woke up early this morning, around 9:00. I had gone to bed early because my stomach hurt and my eyes were aching from being dilated so long. yesterday was my 2nd time tripping..it was really intense. time flew by so quick and when the trip was over I could barely remember anything I did. I only wish Liz could have been with us this time since we had enough for one more person. anyways...today I don't really have anything planned. My parents didn't make me go to church which was suprising. my brothers coming out from Boston sometime this afternoon and some of the cousins from N.H.
I got $20 from my parents as an Easter gift.. I was planning on using it to reimburse myself from the money I spent on the shrooms but I'm not even sure if I wanna do that anymore... I think I might just save my money from now on instead of splurging on drugs.




COUNTDOWN: 9 days

.to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 11 April :: 9.45am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: lamb of gd

im so nice!
well, i decided that since im so nice if anyone needs me to pay the $2 so that they can keep their journal i will - if you've been nice to me and you continue to comment :) i figured i have 10 spare dollars so i have to pay for myself and thats 8 so that leaves me with money enough to pay for 4 people.

->comment if you would like me to pay for you :)

8 .from you. | .to me.


xonixieox

:: 2004 10 April :: 9.04pm
:: Mood: upset

------------
............................................................... im so fucking upset i cant even write in here! i have a big bruise on my face and my arm now! i fucken hate crying but now theres nothing else to do! theres not anyone i cant talk to and even if there were they wouldn5t really listen!no one understands me and i guess im the one to blame... because thats what everyone else says! i just cant take my life anymore... when im not out somewhere and away from my family... if thats even what i should call them, then im sitting at home getting hit or yelled at for half of the shit that i didnt do! this isnt gunna work anymore... so if you can think of something... tell me please because i really dont like sitting in front of my computer crying and typing and thinking and hoping to get out of here soon! please help me!

1 .from you. | .to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 10 April :: 3.45pm
:: Mood: flirty
:: Music: unearth

wow, im a loser this is my 3rd time updating today :-X ahh its ok, i hope that you all are enjoying these journal entries. (im bored):

i follow the crowd @ woohu.com
I do it because it's cool


What type of Woohu user are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I scored a 78% on the "Are you SEXY?" Quizie! What about you?

I scored a 76% on the "how sexual are you" Quizie! What about you?

i took all the sex quizzes, lol :) iheartderek<3

.to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 10 April :: 11.07am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: nothingface

pictures
this is me...






and now - derek <3...





...and now thanks to tiffany [ www.woohu.com/~cherries ] i know how to put pictures in my journal!!!

now all i have to do is send in my $2 to andy!

16 .from you. | .to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 10 April :: 7.54am
:: Mood: rejuvenated
:: Music: something corporate- konstantine

amazing day <3
omgggg yesterday was an amazing day. i went to get my nails done because i was seeing derek but i ended bumping up into some girl and my one nail got really fucked up. oh well, i took the 6:44 train bellmore and met up with derek and got a hug :) then we walked to the movie theater and bought 2 tickets to i think the movie was called the whole 10 yards maybe? lol. after we bought the tickets we had like 20 minutes so we went to see some car that i personally didn't like but derek did because it was a stick. yuckkkk. we went in to see the movie and i coulda sworn that he didn't like me cause it seemed like he didn't wanna touch me or whatnot. BUT during the movie our arms were pretty much on top of eachother. during the movie brian bleeped me so after the movie i called him back and he wanted to know what i was doing and i told him that i was in bellmore and wouldn't be back into oceanside/east rockaway till sometime after 11. sooo after the movie we walked around and then ended up in the train station parking lot looking at cars and derek goes to me 'would you be mad if i kissed you?' and i said 'yeah, cause i have something in my mouth' and he said 'spit it out' and i did and then he kissed me :-D. after that we ended up holding hands and walking. then we ended up hanging around on the benches by the train station looking at the passing cars and saw an unmarked cop car :-O well, when it was time for me to get my train we hugged and i didn't want to leave him :( but he is damn well close to perfect.

iheartdereksofuknmuch<3

6 .from you. | .to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 9 April :: 9.38am
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: marilyn manson - the beautiful people

hopefully a good day
i just wanna tell everyone how incredibly amazing the antique store was. i have never seen such cool stuff! blahh im talking to christian and he's yelling at me for nothing again. LMFAO :) it's actually funny when he gets mad at me. but anyways - derek says we're hanging out around 7 or so today, i hope we actually do because i need someone to calm me down and also to get me out of this piece of shit town, hey that rhymes - haha. well, im bored - very and i need to take a shower so im going to listen to some music and talk to some people (like the new journal by the way?) i'll be changing it to a cool leopard looking background because now im obsessed with leopard due to the bench thingy i got yesterday. i decided my room is going to be painted red and all my other stuff is going to be leopard. it's going to look SOOOO cool :)

guy's are confusing :-/

5 .from you. | .to me.


xonixieox

:: 2004 8 April :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: angry

grrrrrr!
i hate EVERYONE!!!


That pretty much speaks for itself!

wow...

so today and yesterday were both really gay days! so yesterday traci got into a fight with her mother! i love traci so much and i was so sad watching her fight! then today my parents became complete assholes(even more than they were!!!!) ahhhhhhhhh... im so fucking mad! i had to get dropped off at school by my gram because i couldnt even stant to be in the car another second with my mother! she says all this shit to me like she cant wait till i move out, and that she doesnt love me anymore, and she hasnt for a while! and then when i fucking come to school all depressed on these days fucking "my friends" are all like ahhhh what a bitch... what the fuck is her problem, and ohhhh oyur fine! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i fucking hate EVERYONE! its not even funny anymore how many of my friends i dont want ot be around anymore! everyone talks shit and then around oyu they act like nothing, when they know other people are just gunna tell them anyways!

well ..... i will miss lizzy for the weekent when she is in canada!!!!

i havnt seen my old friends in soooooooooooo long... i think a reunion is depratly needed!!!

"My salsa hooooo hoooo hooooo" hahahahahhahahaha

3 .from you. | .to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 8 April :: 7.32pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: switchfoot

i just came back from furniture shopping. we went to some antique store that was going out of business. they had the most AMAZING stuff!

-a leopard velveteen bench
-a cool as hell chair from the 50's
-2 horsey things (that are cool!)
-6 shotglasses in a holder
-a lamp

i love antique/thrift shops

Which Punk Band Member will you marry? by butt-hole
Name
You will marryChris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional
Number of kids5
Cost of your wedding$91,602,071
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

[(i was bored)]

2 .from you. | .to me.

Woohu.com | Random Journal