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loserxdork

:: 2003 23 December :: 2.43pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: what would you do - city high

+ THE GENERAL INFORMATIONAL JUMBLE +
Full name [last names can be left out]:: Marissa Leigh
Nicknames:: Riss,Rissa,Rizz,Lil Pissa,Pisser, Marissa,Oreo,Cocoa Puff,RissSta
Date of birth:: Nov. 16th, 88
Place of birth:: Oceanside,NY
Current location [as in your home]:: NY.
Other places [general areas] you've lived in:: Bellmore-Oceanside-East Rockaway
Parent names & ages:: Lynn-37,Robert-40
Sibling names and ages:: Nikki-8,Alexis-6
Zodiac sign:: Scorpio
Chinese animal sign:: Dragon
Birth stone:: the yellowy one.
Birth flower:: ..?
Birth colour:: ..?
Birth number [add mon+day+yr until you arrive at a single digit:]: 2015
+ KNOWING ONE'S FAVORITES +
Type of food:: italian?chinese?
Specific food dish:: mmm caesar salad
Colour:: red and black
Weather:: fall or spring type weather
Country:: the good old united states
City:: forest hills/manhattan are fun!
Store:: pac sun
Random object:: my cell phone
Television show:: 7th Heaven/everwood
Movie:: jack,schindlers list,the ring,gothika
Thing to say:: soo bored
Moment in history:: bobbys uncle coming outside with the shovel telling us he called the cops and we had to stay, haha!
Holiday or event:: channukah,my birthday
Memory:: going out with joey <3
+ SIMPLE WORD ASSOCIATIONS +
...love...: hurts.
//...dream...//: is heaven
...fake...: girls,yeah there all fake.
//...monkey...//: oy i need tons!
...food...: what kind?
//...school...//: not east rockaway..
...California...: disney!!!!!
//...New York...//: the city, is fun.
...hair...: pin straight
//...Dell...//: dont got one.
...hug...: hugging is fun
//...college...//: 3 years im gonna be there!
...family...: the truth in everything thats fake
//...alcohol...//: i would die without it!
+ ANSWERING QUESTIONS +
[What is your definition of love?]: a really deep feeling for someone...?
[Are you fearful of being loved or loving someone? Why or why not?]: im scared to love,but i want to be loved by someone else
[What is your general outlook on life?]: it sucks big fat fucking balls.
[What do you think about politics?]: its gay.
[If you were president, what would you do?]: i would make world peace and there would be no more poor people
[What did you want to be when you were 5-years old?]: ohh i wanted to be a doctor
[How about at 15-years old?]: i wanna be a psychologist or a social work
[What about now?]: i am 15 now, i wanna be a psychologist or a social worker
[Why has it, or hasn't it, changed?]: because i want to help other people
[What sort of people annoy you?]: snobby and stuck up people
[What sort of things do people do that give you hope?]: tell me im smart? lol.
[What do you think of America right now?]: we have fucked up and made ourselves look like animals by bombing iraq...FUCKERS.
[How about France?]: um k?
[How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?]: a lot.

.to me.


loserxdork

:: 2003 23 December :: 2.18pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: what would you do- city high

aright sooo last night was fun. amy wrote all that shit in my journal when she was drunk off her ass last night. it all started like this. we were talking to anthony at like 3:30 in the morning (i don't even know why we were up) and he was just like 'wanna hang out?' and i was like aright so he comes at like 4 and me and amy sneak out of my back door into his car and then we park like by the school and then talk for alittle. then we decided to drink so we stopped by the 7-11 in island park and then got alcohol and shit. we went to hegarty in island park and drank and got drunk. that shit was fun. so we went home at like 6 and yeah then we went to sleep. wow we are so random and spontaneous. we will be best friends for life!


.:.theres no one left thats real.:.

.to me.


cocopuff

:: 2003 23 December :: 7.44am
:: Music: No Doubt- "Ex-Girlfriend"

HOME FROM SCHOOL!!!!
Well i get to stay home from school today just cuz i don't fell liek going and my mom is in a good mood!!!!! its good cuz today is the last day of school bofore vacation and i don't have to go!!!! Lol well ill prob just sit here and wrap som presents and get ready for Christmass which is in 3 days!!!!!!!! lol now im gonna go sleep cuz i can!!! :-D

I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend

I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
And you know it makes me sick to be on that list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed

You say you’re gonna burn before you mellow
I will be the one to burn you
Why’d you have to go and pick me?
We knew that we were different, completely

I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend

I’m another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed

Your wildness scares me
So does your freedom
You say you can’t stand the restrictions
I find myself trying to change you
If you were meant to be my lover I wouldn’t have to

And I feel so mean, I feel in between
‘Cause I’m about to give you away

I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend (for someone else to take)
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend (am I making a mistake?)
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them (all the time that we
spent)
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girl, friend

I’m another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
I’m another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed

I’m about to give you away for someone else to take
I’m about to give you away for someone else to take

We keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs
And we’ve been in between the days for years
And I know that when I see you I’m going to die
I know I’m going to want you and you know why
It’s going to kill me to see you with the next girl
‘Cause I’m the most gorgeously jealous kind of ex-girl
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend
I hope I hold a special place with the rest of them
I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girl friend

I’m another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed
I’m another ex-girlfriend on your list
But I should have thought of that before we kissed

.to me.


loserxdork

:: 2003 23 December :: 6.03am
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: WWWWWWWWWAG

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
OMG MARISSA KJDOANT KNOW THA TIM ON HER COMPUTER AND IM WRITING STUFF IN HER JOURNAL BUT IM SO FUCKING WDRUNK RIGHT NOW WHATD I DRINK OH I DRANK A WHOLE 24 OUNCE AND A LITTLE MORE OF BARCARDI SILVAER OL3 AND I HOOED UP WITH THIS KID ANTHONY WHOS 22 YEAH HE WAS GOOD DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MARIASA LEFT ME AND SAD I WAS TRDURNK AND LEFT THE ROOM SO IM BY MSELF AND IF I PASS OUT IM BLAMIN THIS SHIT ON HER OKAY MARISA I LOVE U

LOVE UR BET FRIEND WHO IS SO DRUNK RITE NOW

AMY

.to me.


silentcriez

:: 2003 22 December :: 9.40pm

hello

havent written in a while.... sure uve missed me haha

welll....... mom came up for a visit.. she can go blow herself i fucking hate her

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i want to rape him.. not saying who.. bahahahahahahhahahahahah

ill write more later when im not tired

-manda

.to me.


loserxdork

:: 2003 22 December :: 5.04pm
:: Music: anything from kill hannah

haha im in a 'grr hannahs pissing me off mood' sooo i put anything from kill hannah as the music, lol. well, im at my dads house with amy and me and her babysat all day played the computer and game cube and playstation and shit. im here tomorrow too and so far the vacations going alright. hopefully we'll be too drunk to remember any of the rest of the days. the vacation should be hott. im gonna start doing a lot of babysitting so i can get money to get the new i730 nextel. shiiiit its hot as hell, fuckin color screen and tinnyyyyy. well, thats all for now, tomorrow night im going home and i dont know what im doing, hopefully something good idk. ttyl xox <3

.:.theres no one left thats real.:.

.to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2003 21 December :: 12.10pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: ex boyfriend- gwen stefani

arightttyyy well, today is sunday which means i had friday and saturday so far. friday i picked amy up then bounced over to dance, that was fun. it was bring a friend day and amy danced :). then after dance we went home and just chilled nothing special. saturda we woke up,got ready,and around 11:00 my moms friend lonnie and his 'nephew' richy came to pick us up for the mall. amy,me and richy hung around the mall and then we went back to get money from my mom and then we went to my dads to get money and amys grandmas store too. after that lonnie dropped richy,amy, and i into forest hills at the movie theater we went to watch a movie,ate mcdonalds and then hopped on the subway to NYC we went to times square and rockefeller center. then we came home and it was mucho fun. ahh crazy nights. today i dont know what we are doing but tonight me and amy are going to my dads because we are babysitting there.

.:.theres no one left thats real.:.

.to me.


loserxdork

:: 2003 19 December :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: productive
:: Music: nada nada

i hope this works
im trying to type under marissa's journal..

this is her best friend

also known as amy.

marissa's cock is in my mouth, and she's a fucking cunt, but i love her anyway. and i know i type faster than her. so fuck you marissa, tomorrow's gonna be fun :) always having fun

.to me.


silentcriez

:: 2003 19 December :: 10.35pm


Exhibitionist movie! You'd get off on letting
ANYONE and EVERYONE watch you have sex...even
small children, you sick sonofabitch! Kinky is
your middle name.


What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

.to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2003 18 December :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: cheery
:: Music: cute without the 'e' - taking back sunday

well, i got the cell phone situation solved :D im really happy that i got a phone but its a really ugly one so when i get money im going to buy a new one. well, channukah starts tomorrow and im gonna get lotsa presents and im happy. tomorrow is the last of hell and then 2 weeks of fucking off of school! im soo excited its gonna be fucking crazay, its gonna be 2 weeks of being bombed off my ass! hahaha this is going to be fucking great. tomorrow im going to my dads to get channukah presents and then sunday night through tuesday im going to sleep over my dads house with amy and im babysitting monday and tuesday so THAT should be fun. aright leave em comments!

.:.theres no one left thats real.:.

.to me.


cocopuff

:: 2003 18 December :: 8.02pm
:: Music: Silverchair-

.....
SILVERCHAIR

"Ana's Song"

Please die Ana
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
and sharpened nails seem softer
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the film

And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an Anorexia life

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Open fire on the needs designed
Open fire on my knees desires
On my knees for you

Manda, im so sry u ahd to go though this today... and i wish i knew how u felt soo i could help u... i know it has to b hard, and horrable painfull...but i want u to know idk how much of a help i can b cuz i don't know how u fell but im ALWAYS here for u!!! i love u soo much!! and i hate to see in in soo much pain:-( i wish i knew y u had to go though this, but i don't... all i kanow is some how one day it will b ok... idk how and idk y but it will, and iv u ever need ANYTHIGN ill always b here for u because ur my bestfriend and theres nothign more painful them to watch u soo sad and not know how u fell or how to help... su just tell me ok? im here whenever u need me!!! I LOVE U WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!!

.to me.


cocopuff

:: 2003 17 December :: 10.29pm
:: Music: Evanescence-"My Immortal"

Poof!!
EVANESCENCE


"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

i really love this song.... amy is an awesome singer!!! the whole band is awesome!!! this song is really meainnfull, yes i know i sound liek a dork but w/e... the song fits perfictly.... :-/ :-(

.to me.


LOSERxDORK

:: 2003 17 December :: 7.05am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: i will survive-aretha franklin

aright,well i have bronchitus and i feel SO DISGUSTING and SICKLY that its not even funny. aright, so monday i went into school 6th-9th because i didn't wanna get denied credit in my 8th period class and have to take it over or take summer school because its a freakin half year class and im only allowed 14 absenses and i had that. so i was planning on doing that yesterday (tues) but when i asked my mom what time i needed to be ready to go to school by she goes 'your not going at all' so now, pretty much im fucked and im going to be taking this class next year because i have too many absences already. i wanna be absent again because now it dont matter. i could have up to 28 absences before they can even think about denying me credit in any of the full year classes. this school is SO FUCKED. my mom supposedly has the flu and she wont get out of bed so i wonder what she's gonna say when i ask her to drive me to school...heh. a lot of shit last night happend that im really pissed off about.

1.cesar was 'pretending' to like me even though he hooked up with me
2.christian finally admitted to me that he doesn't like me, which i dont know why :-/
3.my lemonade was WAY TOO sweet and i couldn't get more water because if i left my room my mom would've flipped on me.
4.jacie likes tomm
5.i still have bronchitus

being sick sucks big hairy balls :( i have to get better by friday because i DEFF want to go out and do something. it really doesn't matter what just as long as im not spending it in my house. ohh snap friday starts the first day of channukah so i might not even be allowed out, which i probably will but yeah. sunday im going to my dads w/my sisters,my dads girlfriend,and her kids and were gonna exchange channukah gifts even though my dads girlfriends kids are half and go to catholic school! lol. i hope i get some nice shit,ack presents always excite me! lol

.:.theres nothing left thats real.:.

1 .from you. | .to me.


silentcriez

:: 2003 16 December :: 11.00pm

with each tear that falls from my cheeks a memory is soaked up in the threads of my clothing

kelsey elisabeth rose dunne.. there is nothing that i can say to you, that you would tell me is right. to you im wrong in everything i do.

you tell me i dont care about you.. you tellme that im not ur best friend you tell me that these tears mean nothing. when they each mean something as the splatter upon this desk of mine. they do mean something burning my dry eyeson the way out. they do mean something when you tell me you dont care. when you tell me your leaving when u tell me that the kids are better there. kelsey it hurts to know that ur not needed.. and thats all that people want in this world. i can admit that i began to take out freindship for granted. and that i expected that youd always be there for me. but as they say u dont knwo what you have until its gone, and i have realized it before youve left in hopes of changing my fate...

in health we learned about different types of ppl. you are the hider

you hide from the problems, and hold them in you until they all boil up and then you spazz on the person whose bugging you and you yell about everything and their mother. things that happened long ago. instead of waiting until things get out of hand to tell me, you should let me know the things i am doing wrong. im not a mind reader. tell me so that i can change.

i talked to emily on teh fone tonite
i lost her.. one of my best friends. and ive realized why it didnt kill me as much as this is.. becuz i know that she misses me, and that she cares about me. but u dont care that your leaving me. i balled myfriggin eyes out. and its not even definite i cant handle losing you, even if it is just to another school. it pains me to lose you.

i feel as if i am alone.

sitting in a snow storm.. freezing to death. like i am some stranded person, with a crew of stranded people as well waiting for someone to rescue them. but slowly each one of the survivors begins to walk away, to leave me on my own in the wilderness.. where i know nothing.. and the search party, my saving grace, never comes. and i am left to rot there on my own. alone. the worst way to die.

you may think i am being over dramatic and crazy about this, but u dont understand me when i tell you that I LOVE YOU and that you amaze me, with your beauty with your exuberance with every word that you speak. your laughter is infectious and i cant help but smile when i see you.

undo everyhing that ive said, every lie ive ever hid behind and every lilly white comment i may have made. and you have me

alone, and bare. sitting for all to see, for all to look at. me i see many mistakes in myself, many flaws. but you, you told me never to change. and that, that brings joy to my life. that fact that you love me just the way that i am.

i want you to be able to enjoy yourself and if you want to go to keefe im not holding you back.
but what i need to hear from you honestly, is that youll miss me.

and that u care that u are leaving me.

unty these red stained ribbons.. and look me in the eyes and tell me u dont care about me...cuz i dont believe it

i dont want to believe it...

dont let my nightmares become reality.

i love you kelsey.. whether you like it or not

1 .from you. | .to me.


cocopuff

:: 2003 16 December :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: none...

:-/
i really don't knwo what to write excpt... Kelsey im sry if i made u feel like i was trying to take ur place... i never was.. all i ever wanted was to b ur friend, both u and manda... i really do love u!! and i loved it when it was the 3 of us... all 3 of us....if u really want to go to keefe have fun, ill miss u!! and if that makes u happy then go, but please don't go cuz u feel as if im kickin u out... i never wated u to fell like that!! i love both u and amanda to death!!!!i thougth we always did things the 3 of us..... and i knew that u and manda were coser... or i felt u were... cuz u would tell stories of u and her and joe and i loved to listen cuz i can remember little things like that of me and holly... who i don't even really talk to ne more which not only makes me sad but angry tooo.... i mean we were best friend for like 2 years now we don't even speek to eachother.. thats fucked... and i don't know how or y it happend it jsut did...and i don't want that to happen to u and i... i thought that were were all best friends the 3 of us!! i love u!! i really do and im sry if i every made u think other wise, because i really thought u were my best friend 2... like the 3 of us never just 2.... i love u both the same... and i know manda feels the same about us... mayb even more towards u but thats ok... u 2 have been friends longer......and i feel liek an asshole.... if i made u fell liek i was tryign to kick u out:-(..... i guess all im tryign to say is i don't want to lose u as a friend and im really sry :-(... i love u soo much!!!!

.to me.

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