lisa3019

ugh, bills are due. =(
hmm.. update?

rebecca was over here the other day but i was in a bitchy/depressed mood and i didnt feel like seeing anyone.
i feel bad now because i REALLY miss her.

umm i cant remember my last update?
did i talk about my hearing?
well, i finally had it.
it was supposed to be postponed again because we didn't receive any papers with my charges.
well.. it wasn't. which is good--i just wanted to get it over with.

we had to wait in this room while my lawyer talked to hers and the probation officer.
THAT made me nervous.
When I talked to Rich Beranek at the station when I had to write my statement last year, he told me this was a SERIOUS CRIME but that I plead guilty and that it was my first offense I would basically just get a slap on the wrist--probation.

well, i know i shouldn't have been that nervous about probation--but i was!
i don't want to have a little boy while i'm on probation!! that's sooo white trash!!

well, mr dailey told me i can't get in any more trouble than probation and fines because i am being charged as a juvenile and all that but that the charges were 2 accounts of a felony and it was more serious than i thought it out to be when i did it.

i basically told him that i didn't look at it like that and that if you're going to take naked pictures of yourself you should be responsible for what happens to them.
no--doesn't work that way.

sarah's terms were that i
-hand over the pictures.
i couldn't do that becuase i dont have them and dont know how to get them back.
-write her an apology letter.
i have 30 days.

and the court ordered that i start probation.
the terms were completely agreeable:
--drug test every month. (not a problem since i don't do drugs or even smoke weed anymore)
--9 o'clock cufew. he said he would be lenient on this one considering i'm now an adult and that as long as i'm not partying at 2am, it's not a problem. (what kind of mom parties at 2am??)
--no trouble with the law. (again, not a problem)
--no contact with sarah. (but when was the last time i talked to her?)
--monthly check-ins with the probation officer to make sure i'm "okay"
--and Facts of Life classes. I don't know about these because they interfere with my work and everything so I spoke up about it but the judge said if I can't do it, it's understandable. They'll work something out.

I was trying to show that I've grown up since then, because I really have. I learned that when she tries to get to me--just ignore it. Then it doesn't get any farther than what she says. That's probably why nothing has happened in.. like.. well.. a year.
I told them that I plan on starting parenting classes offered through my hospital--which they found a really good idea and put that on the list of terms of court.

Other than that I told my lawyer that I basically just wanted to drop it all but he said we couldn't, of course, do that.
My better judgement told me Sarah would probably want to drop it by now too because we've gone our separate ways except for like stupid things I hear she says of me. But considering I ignore it all, it hasn't mounted to anything.


I had a doctor's appointment today.
I have to go every 2 weeks.
I was suppose to gain 3 lbs since my last appointment but I only gained 1.
That means I'm at 140lbs. right now!!!
I've gained 37lbs. all togeher!
I should be getting stretch marks from gaining all that weight but I haven't seen any so far. I make Jusitn check nearly every day.

I am getting super fat though.
But from what the doctor's say, I should be gaining MORE weight.
WTF?! I eat CONSTANTLY!!

Oh well.
I FEEL like a fat cow, atleast.
I can't wait to have the baby so I can lose some of this.
I doubt I'll exercise though, so I probably won't lose it all.
Eh, oh well. I really don't care anymore.
I see how people get fat.
I always said I would hate to be overweight but now that I know what it's like, I'm too lazy to do any differently.


Uhh anyways, this update is done.

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