lisa3019

Dear Ashley,
I figured I'd let you know the real deal...
(Since you're dying over there.)

A couple days ago one of the girls I work with told me Cody came in Subway and asked if I was working and stuff.
I told Justin because I didn't want something to happen where Sarah ended up telling him and then it made me look bad like Cody comes in Subway all the time and we sit there and talk.
So.. I told him just to tell him the truth because I wasn't even working.
He was like, "I can't wait to tell whore sarah."
i said, "don't tell her you asshole."
he said, "yeah i have to, i have to, i'm just telling you so you know ahead of time."
i tried to talk him out of it but he has to rub it in that shes a whore who gets cheated on.

well,
he calls me at work today and he's like,
"i have to tell you all this before whore sarah does."
i'm like, "ugh, what? you told her, why the fuck did you tell her?"
plus, i like to keep things from her cause that way i have power over her that she doesn't even know about cause she always thinks she can have my life.

he said he told her and so she got pissed and says to cody, "i don't care i fuck bubby every day. he is walking to my house today."
he said the fucking her every day was definitely a lie and the walking to her a house was a joke because she was saying things to him on aol, asking him if he misses her and if he still loves her.
and then she told him to do me and just because we all know she's a whore he started fuckign with her so we could read the conversation later and laugh at her.
he has AIM Triton so all of his conversations are automatically saved and they cant be edited or anything.

so..
cody calls bubby asking him if it's true.
bubby was like, "no.. come over my house i want you to hear this."
so cody goes over and sarah is on justins phone saying things about telling me stories so i go into labor and that she wants to fuck up my life and stuff liek that.
so meanwhile, cody doesnt believe a word of the story.. he heard the truth.
so she calls back ad justin has cody answer.
she starts stuttering and blabbering and after her original story was tat justin was "walking to her house" to have sex with her, she changed it up and asks cody if justin still wants her to come pick him up.
i thought he was walking?

so she fucks up her story and that's done with.

then she goes on to IM me to my phone while i'm at work.
she says she needs to tell me something and i have to call her immediately.
i told her i already know the story, it's cool.

so she's sending me all these pathetic little things, freaking out, saying how i will never get to her and my boyfriend is easy and all this stuff. everything that she can think of because she's so mad that i actually have things she doesn't.
a million days a week i hear how jealous she is that im having a kid wth justin. why isn't she over it?

look, i care about cody a lot.
i think about the fact that him and justin don't talk anymore a lot.
it hurts my feelings that i fucked him over for one of his good friends and it also hurts my feelings that he was vulnerable to fall for sarah's act when she said she wanted to be with him, but not to get back at me.
i always get hurt feelings for other people.
i don't want to be with him, i just want him to be happy.
i want him to be friends with justin again. i want justin to be friends with him again. they were close.

even though we've moved on it gets so hard to just walk away.*
--it's hard to just completely drop someone out of your life forever.
..and i guess that's where sarah's coming from.
maybe she just hates to see justin happy after how bad he hurt her.
he left her for me and now we're moving away and she's never going to see him again. she just wants to mess things up for him, but i don't see why she has to be that way. i wish there was something i could do.

justin called me before i left work to tell me about these funny blogs sarah wrote.
one was about me and christina talking shit on her.
i was like, "psht, i didnt even talk to christina at tadd's house. me and becca were talking about her. becca was telling me how sarah was talking shit on me and hwo she didnt want to get in the middle of us because she's friends with both of us."
it said that no one was saying anything and in the middle of silence, i broke out and started saying, "sarah....."
which definitely wasnt true because most of the time we were talking about butt chins and the only time sarah was brought up was when me and becca were talking about her.

i just dont understand how upset she is makign herself over this.
and then why contradict yourself? you write blogs about beign crazy and having mental illnesses. you have admitted to taking several medicines to keep you sane.
..and then you're going to act like you're the only person making sense?

liz's favorite part of it was how in the real conversation between justin and sarah, she's asking if he misses her and loves her and when she says to do me and he starts fucking with her and then starts getting serious, she asks him why he doesnt want to be with her.
he says for one he has a girlfriend and also for the fact that he's having a kid with her and that's a big part of it.
somewhere down the line she asks about him selling her something. she says why even do that if he wants nothing to do with her. he said that was one time.
she changed the conversation up to say, "yeah you're having a kid but you fucked me."
like, why do things like that when i read the real conversation?

ugh. after this, me and justin deleted aol.
i've been talking about cutting ourselves out of the world but the truth is we haven't been trying hard enough.
we're saving money adn then moving out of pennsylvania.
this might be the last thing you hear from me.

thanks ashley, for listening. you love this crazy stuff.

cmnt.