You just have to be happy. If you are everything else will fall into place.

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You just have to be happy. If you are everything else will fall into place.

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:: 2006 26 October :: 9.52am

Mmm Trix. Not just for kids.

I'm totally hungry right now.
Last night Mallory was laughing because she came over to me and Justin's booth while we were eating at Eat n Park and I asked her how many girls she knows that can eat 3x more than their boyfriends.
I got this Rosemary Chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and a salad and ate it all and then was pciking things off his plate which consisted of a Hot Turkey Snadwich and mashed potatoes that he picked at and shredded up.

He laughs because we go out to eat and as soon as I get home I'm hungry again and looking through the fridge.
I can't help it. I have to eat every hour.

You should see me at work when I work at Subway (which si today!!!), if I'm not making a snadiwch for myself, I'm making a platter of vegetables with ranch dressing and salt on a napkin and eating it. or cookies. i like cookies.

anywyas, i gota get ready. i have work in an hour.

:: 2006 25 October :: 9.51am

Funkalicious

My phone is finally charged because serg let me borrow his charger.
UGH! Now I have to drive all the way to the fucking mall and bitch to get a new one.
Justin wanted me to go today when I woke up and buy a new coat, too. I don't really know why he cares if I have a coat or not but he gave me $100 and told me if I don't go this morning we are going when we both get off work.

I work at B.O.A.R. today.
Fun, fun, fun.
I don't like the Rostraver office, really.
I like the Monessen office soo much better.

I decided to work Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays at Subway and Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at B.O.A.R. seeing as those days would give me the most hours since the physical therapist isn't open on weekends.
That reminds me, I should study my exeercise sheets.. oh well.

I think I'm going to go to my mom's before I go to work.
That way I can leave later and eat a lot.

Last night we were about to go in the hot tub but we took the cover off and checked the temperature which read 86 degrees soo.. we turned the heat up and then got too tired.
Oh well, tonight definitely.
I asked Justin I wonder what I look like in my bathing suit. I haven't wore it in forever and I probably gained a pound in each of my boobs. Haha.

I was talking to my mom last night,
about living in my grandpap's apartment above the shop.
I was like, "can you ask him cause I really want to live there!"
it's way nice and it would be awesome to have my pap as a landlord.
Especially seeing as he LOVES both me and Justin and it wouldn't be like living anywhere else because we'd be able to do whatever we want with it and I already have big plans of fixing it up. It has a lot of potential. Haha.
Also, as a surprise for letting me move in, I would fix up the other apartment across the hall for him because it never got done. He could move someone else in there and get more rent money.
Well, anywyas, when I brought the idea up to my mom,
she hesitated before saying, "well.. they want you to move in there. because i think they're making the people who live there now move out and they really want you to stay there."
my heart jumped. i was like, "MOM WHY DIDNT YUOU TELL ME?!?"
and she said she didn't want me to live there because what if me and justin break up--she wouldn't want me to stay there by myself.
I told her that it wouldn't be bad living by myself and I wouldn't be scared but that me and Justin aren't breaking up anytime soon.
She said she'd talk to pap. =)
(I'm way excited!!)

Anywyas, I might pee my pants if I hold it any longer, so.. lata!

:: 2006 24 October :: 4.52pm

they be lining down the block just to watch what I got

Soo.. I liek both of my jobs so I don't think I'll be quitting either of them right now. Hehe.

I hate my phone, though.
I don't know. I like my phone, I didn't mean it.
I hate that it won't charge, though.
At first, the charger was acting funky and you had to shake it or something to amke it charge.
Then, one day it just stopped working.
Now, my phone has been dead since.. liek Saturday.
I don't know if it's my battery or my phone.
I'm kinda pissed though.

All the time I turn around always brothas gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my uhhhh.

Justin's car is paid off finally.
I think we're gonna sell it to triple our money.

Uhh other than that, I've been having the time of my life dealing with like 3 people and my boyyyyy.
*muuuaahh*

My black eye is still here.. I don't know when the fuck it is going away.
I'd hate to be a bitch punched in the face by me.. you'll have a black eye for two weeks!!! I dunno.. weird. Andy makes fun of me at work. =/

Eh, I could ramble on but I don't think I'm going to.
I'm happy and I'm hungry and I could go for some Subway even though I eat there everyday and JUST left the store.
I'll make Justin take me somewhere before I take him to basketball! =)

Lata.

:: 2006 21 October :: 9.33pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Embraceable You - George Gershwin

I love Kelly to death. he's the easiest person to talk to, he's gorgeous, he's sweet, he's funny, he's nice, he's fun to mess around with. We can be complete smartasses to eachother, and know that it's ok. That's what I wanted and that's what I got lucky enough to find. I'm so happy right now, and I can't wait until July so that we can actually be together and hug and kiss and get into our mock fights and so we can just simply touch and talk. I love his voice, it's deep and ... yummy. I can never get enough of it, yet I hardly get to talk to him because my family is crazy and stays up really late all the time.

Mom's letting me put the computer in my room though, so that's good, but dad's being a slacker and not getting around to putting the phone jack in my room.
Hopefully he'll do it soon though.
Hopefully.

:: 2006 21 October :: 8.03pm

i think i pulled an... arm muscle?

Yesterday, I went to work at Subway.
That consists of me doing absolutely nothing but eating the entire time I'm there. (That's the only reason I started working there again.)

I worked 11-5 and got off work and went striaght home.
Justin was already home from work whne I got here, so we got a bath! I got to sit up front, which he never lets me do, and soak up all the good hot water. Haha.
After the bath, he threw my t-shirt in the water while it was draining.! =( I was kinda real upset about that because I had to walk all the way downstiars and put it in the dryer!

I dried my hair and stuff and asked Justin what we were going to do and his response was, "sleep."
SO.. I layed down next to him while he looked up stuff on here and I fell asleep.. regardless of it being 8:00 or not.
We're like little babies and we go to bed early.

I was upset about not going to the football game because even though he said there wasn't a point to it because we would be standing out in the freezing cold to see them lose, I wanted to see Jordan play and I had a good feeling about senior night.
Mav picked us up shortly after I started dozing off so babe tried his hardest to wake me up.
Finally, I made him get my shirts out of the dryer and I put on my coat and we left.
We drove around for a little bit and then got dropepd off right when his mom was getting home from the game.
She said they actually won and shut them out.
I knew we should've gone. =( Jordan scored a touchdown!

We shared a big huge bowl of mashed potatoes and bread and then fell asleep. Haha.

This mornign I woke up to that bitch tossing and turning and tossing and turning and after an hour of trying to ignore him, I rolled back over to face him and asked him what the matter was.
I opened my eyes and saw feet in my face.
what the fuck?
he said, "my shoulder.. my shoulder.. its fucked lis.. it hurts..," in his whiny voice.
I asked him if he slept on it wrong and he said yes and said he couldn't get comfortable.
It was 8:00am and we got up.
I fell back asleep because I had to work at 11 and got up when it was about 10:00 to start getting ready.

I'm pissed because my damn phone charger is broke and my phone didn't charge last night. I didn't listen to Justin and shut it off either so my phone is completely dead and I feel helpless and lost without it.

I wen tot work and ate about 3 sandwiches, 1,000,000 pieces of banana pepper rings (mmm my mouth is watering just thinking about them), about 100,000 pieces of tomatoes, a lot of cucumbers, green peppers, turkey slices, and cheese. oh, also a couple pieces of wheat bread with a little bit of tuna on them.

then i came home.
justin left to go get something real fast and i am supposed to be showering and be ready by the time he gets here but i don't think that's going over too well.
sooo i'm headed to the shower right now.

lataaaa.

:: 2006 20 October :: 8.28am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: My stupid teacher talking

Hell Week
This week has been a bad week. I've hardly gotten on to talk to Kelly at all because random things happen that prevent me from being able to. Last night I didn't even get on because I had to go to the School Board Meeting to present our case for our Senior Trip to Orlando, Florida. We wanted to fly, but no one has ever been allowed to fly before, but we proved our point that it would be a lot safer and less expensive if we got to fly for 6 hours rather than drive for 52 hours and whatever, so they allowed us to fly. That made it a little better.
What made it worse? We were supposed to leave for the trip in the beginning of May, but now we have to leave from the 25-30 of April so I won't be 18 but for the last day. that SUCKS. I wanted to do all the cool shit and get a tattoo but NOPE. damn it. All because of stupid Track.
*sigh*

Monday we finally get our Senior stuff that we should have gotten 2 months ago, so that's exciting.
Then on Wednesday I leave for Indianapolis, Indiana at friggin 5 am, and I won't get back until about 10 pm on the 28. It'll be fun though since Kandace and Tessi are going.

Anyway, I miss Kelly more than anything right now, and I'll only get to talk to him for a little bit tonight if he's on because I have to go work at my gramma's tonight.
Next week better bring tons of good things or ... something.
Ok. Accounting calls. Stupid T Accounts

:: 2006 20 October :: 7.45am

B.O.A.R. Physical Therapy

Yesterday, as I was looking through my list of contacts to call Andy, his private number came through so I answered.
I gave him my schedule for Subway which was pretty packed, to say the least, because our manager got fired.
He was disappointed about that but he asked me if I could work at the Monessen office around 2:15.
I said sure!

I was in the bathroom getting undressed and ready to take a shower when Christina called me. She knew I had plans to go to K-Mart to get some new make up so she asked me if I could just meet her there.
Well, I told her I had to get a shower first, because I was already standing there half-naked and plus, it would be much easier just to leave to go to work from K-Mart.
I got out of the shower and Jenna called. She wanted to go with me, so I we tover her house. It was 1:00 when I got there and I had to work at 2:15.
Well.. she wasn['t done sttraightening her hair until 1:40, so we went to K-Mart and we wre getting Free99 make up but this lady was staring at us!!
I already had mine, but Jenna was paranoid. I didn't believe her about the lady until I looked to my right and saw her peeking through the chips at us!!! Like, how hard do you have to stare at the chips to stock them?!!?!? She was down with her hands on her knees looking through the chips at us!!!
I immediately started cracking up and me and Jenna were in the hair dye aisle about to pee our pants, pointing and laughing at this lady.
Finally, jenna got fed up and put hers back on the shelf, grabbed some chap stick and a pack of gum and we headed to check out.
I had 5 minutes to get to work and I didn't even know how to get there.
I got to Monessen at 2:15 and called 411 for the number to the office.
They only had the Bentleyville one so they connected me and I talked to the office manager from Monessen who just so happened to be at Bentleyville. She gave me directions from where I was at and I got to the building at like 2:20 after I drove around in circles.

I met Amber (she's from Belle Vernon) and she showed me everything I have to do. It was such a relief from yesterday when I had no idea what was going on and what I was supposed to do as opposed to what the PTs were there for!
Well, it ends up that I'm basically just what they do. I edge the patients through their training schedules and tell them what to move on to. I fill out charts and fill out patient registrations. I do paperwork and I answer the phone. I make hot packs and I make cold packs. I talk to the patients about what's going on in their lives.
And I definitely have to learn a lot of exercises and abbreviations!!!
That will be the most difficult part. =/
Overall, it's a nice job and I'm definitely going to try to keep both jobs for as long as I can.
I told Justin that his paychecks will be our spending money and mine will be our saving moneys.
=)
He liked that idea.. I don't know why..?

Someday soon I need to go to the high school to get my diploma but I think I will make that day sometime next week.
I'll probably definitely go on Monday around lunch so I can see Lizzy.
!!! =)

Well, as for now, I'm outtie5000 and I think I'm going to hop in the shower and start getting ready for work so I can lay around and be lazy.!

:: 2006 19 October :: 9.33am

So I have like the best luck ever, right?

Okay, I used to work at Subway before I was a waitress at Sweeney's, Sonny's and now I work at Subway again.
Well.. when I worked there before.. I said, "I would like to be a waitress, I wish I was 18."
Then, this lady came in Subway one day and asked me, without ever hearing me say that, if I wanted a job waitressing at Sweeney's across the street.
I said, "oh, I'm not 18."
She said, "You don't need to be! Be there tomorrow and you have an interview."
I went there and I was already hired before I even walked in the door.

Then, I quit there and I wasn't really looking for another job, but I would've liked to waitress.
BUT! There weren't any good places around to work.
Then, someone said somehting to me about Sonny's hiring and accepting applications so I went over there and I was hired after the open interview.

That didn't work out because I kept getting sick in the mornings and it sucked to get up early and work when I couldn't even get out of bed.
So I quit there.

Melisssa told me that some girl quit at Subway and they were looking to hire someone. I put in my application and didn't call or anything becayse I wasn't really worrried about getting a job.
Then, about two weeks later, the manager calls me and told me I got the job and I started Friday at noon.

So.. I've been working there 2-3 days now and some guy comes in.
I make his sandwich and I'm ringing him up and he asks me if I work here part time.
I said, "yeah, I actually just started."
him-"do you go to school?"
me-"no.. I just graduated from high school last year"
he said, "do you live locally?"
i siad, "yes.. right up the road." (even though I live with Justin..)
he said, "are you looking for another job?"
me-"doing what?"
him-"being an aide for a physical therapist. i'm looking for someone and you seem perfect."
(meanwhile, I have a black eye and I'm wearing an XXL Subway shirt)
i said, "ohh i don't have any experience"
him-"can you type?"
me-"yes.."
him-"well, I'll teach you everything else you have to know!.. our office is right down the street! i'll give you my card!"

instead, i just gave him my number.
he didn't seem like a weirdo and I didn't give him my full name or anything.

He called me the next day.
It was Private so I wasn't going to answer because people who don't want you to know who they are call Private and I never answer for blocked calls.
But I was waiting on his call, so I answered.
He told me where his office was and it turned out he was the doctor and the owner of a chain of offices!
I e-mailed him my resume and looked him up on the internet.

It was weird, because okay.. we've been looking for an apartment and in the desperate search we applied for Rostraver Apartments ebcase rent is like $12 a month.

I look him up on the internet and I'm on the phone with my mom tellign her everthing.
I read his name.
She says, "Wow, Lis. He's a um, pretty well-known big shot in the area. He owns three of those offices and he's in with the school board and head of Rostraver Apartments."
I was like woaaaahhhh.
I said, "But I met Andy when I applied and he didn't look liekhim."
She said I might nto have met Andy and told me that just because he said he knew my grandpap doesn't mean he was Andy.
She called my grandpap to make sure.
He said I will be working for Andy Jr. and Andy Sr. owns the apartments.
He siad they're both pretty big deals.

So.. I went in for what I thought was an interview but turned out to be my first day of work! Weird...?
I was supposed to call him last night with my schedule from Subway but I didn't get off of work until late so I figured I'd call him this morning.

I woke up this morning thinking of this weird computer program my grandpap used to have on his computer called Bob.
I've tried to look it up before but had no luck and this morning, I tried again at answers.com and I found it right away.
If you want to, you can click here and read about it.
I didn't know why he disappeared off of my grandpap's computer, because I was really young and didn't understand at the time but I guess it was ahead of it's time.

Other than that, I'm pretty bored and I'm going to go check my e-mail.

2 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 19 October :: 9.13am

WTF?

Well, today's the usual.
I wake up to Justin leaving for work and kissing me goodbye and then I go back to sleep and wake up an hour later to his mother yelling around the house.
Then, I go on here, check to see how many visitors I've had since the previous day, if Sarah checks it, I check hers to laugh about the things she writes about me, I update, and then I check my e-mail and do random shit.

Last night, i had a weird dream.
Did any of you ever have a reoccuring dream?
I have them all the time, and there's this one in particular that I'll explain... as I will also explain some of the other REALLY WEIRD DREAMS I had last night:

If anyone has ever seen the lower level of my house, you'd know that it is really big.
My upstairs isn't big, but the downstairs is because even though there are not many rooms upstairs, every room is rather large.
Well, I have this dream that.. (we are always doing remodeling in my house)..
we are tearing down a wall and behind it is just like, knocked-down-wall-stuff, but being as curious as I am, I venture behind it an discover a door that leads to an upstairs of my upstairs.
The upstairs is as big as my basement but with a lot of stuff you have the crawl through and an old, run down shower. There are spiders everywhere and it's not the most pleasant place.
I always go there in my dreams, occasionally.
And last night, i went, and it was exceptionally scary. There was a guy upstairs and he was trying to kill us and I almost left Justin becuase he wouldn't hurry up.

Also, I woke up from that dream because I have to pee a million times during the night..
and I dreamed that there was a cop in my back yard and I was with a WHOLE BUNCH of girls, hiding in the woods on our stomachs.
The cop was threatening for us to get down and I was in charge of everyone, and I counted down and told them to run.
Everyone got caught and I ended up getting caught too.
But the dream seemed to go on forever and ever and I wouldn't give up and every time I got caught (because that damn pig called reinforcements and I couldnt run anymore because I was so weak) it was by a random boy or a random fat lady or something liek that.
I would be in this dream, hitting people with the butt of a gun and not knocking them out. (I always have dreams where I hit someone and it doesn't even phase them. I hate it. It's frustrating.)

I also had a dream that I found a golden retriever in my grandma's garage and it was dirty so I gave him a bath and took him inside and loved him.
Supposedly he was some girl's dog who wasn't paying any attention to him after she took him off of a lady who had him chained up outside and he would cry and cry and cry.
Well, I layed with him and he licked my face and I loved him.

Weird dreams.. I know.

:: 2006 16 October :: 9.58pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Shed Some Light - Shinedown

So Kendra, who's entire family is friends with my entire family, was dumb. She disobeyed her parents and stayed out when she wasn't allowed to. Her dad went and got her, she told them she might be pregnant and hoped that she was so that she could get away from them, and then her dad pulled her hair and they got into this huge fight. Her mom stuck her in the car and drove up town to the police station. Her dad wanted to stick her in DFS but her mom didn't want to, the cop "didn't think it in everyone's best interest" so at 1:30 am sunday morning we get a call asking if Kendra could live with us for awhile. of course, of course she can.
She is oh so very dramatic. I've been friends with her since i was in the sixth grade, so when everyone's talking crap about her i feel an obligation to stand up for her. I <3 her but she's just the girl you feel the need to strangle from time to time.
Hopefully she'll pull through this thing alright though, and her and her family can sufficiently patch things up.

On a happy/sad note, I didn't get to talk to Kelly on our one month anniversary. I was so upset about that. I had to wake up at 5:30 and go chase cattle because we were moving them from my grandpa's field to my uncle Larry's field for better grazing and we had to get them loaded into trailers after chasing them through the awful field full of hills and ravines in the freezing cold dawn. Not my idea of fun. Got done with that close to 11:00, came home, got cleaned up and then had to paint the effing house this yellowish/tan color that isn't even close to being an ok color. Mom enjoys it though and it's "her house" so that's of course all that matters.
I did finally get on around one something that morning, but then the Kendra thing happened and i had to leave after like 5 minutes so it wasn't even a nice night.

School's still a bitch.

:: 2006 16 October :: 9.54pm

This update is full of updates!!!

Okay, first off I want to start by saying that if you read my last entry, and then recently read Sarah's journal, you might find it funny that she is still running her mouth when she assumes that my life revolves around her as much as hers does with me.
She has read my page quite a few times in the past couple days since she accused me of telling Cody that she whores around.

October 13th 2006 02:02:44 PM
October 14th 2006 11:00:42 AM
October 14th 2006 11:00:56 AM
October 16th 2006 05:46:12 PM

^^those are all the time's she's loaded my page.
and then right after she gets done reading it, she has to be quick to write a response. Obviously it is annoying or else I wouldn't even be commenting on it right now, but I'm just going to ignore it.
After today, I'm not even going to acknowledge when she is a douche bag.
As I've said to Justin yesterday--if it got all the way around to me that she was cheating on him while he was in jail, OBVIOUSLY it's going to get to him someway.

But! I don't need to explain myself. =)
I don't care what people think of me when I know the truth and none of her lies are affecting me.

Other than that...
If you've seen me lately you may or may not have noticed my BLACK EYE!
First black eye I ever got IN MY LIFE and guess how?
No, silly! I didn't lose a fight!
I punched myself in the face!!
First black eye and I gave it to myself!
I smiled at Justin the next day when he woke me up by saying, "BABE!!! WHAT A SHINER!! GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!!"
hahahaha, I think it's the funniest thing in the world.
I don't even know how it happened! But it sure is a perty one!
I didn't even hit myself that hard but about a half hour after I did it, I started to notice a little swelling and then said to Christina, "grrrreat, I bet I have a black eye tomorrow!"

This weekend was a goodie!
Saturday, I took Justin to his tattoo appointment and ater we finished up there, we met Kris and Christina at Kris's house and went to TripleB!!
The first thing we did was pick out our perfect pumpkins!
Then, we bought tickets for the hay ride and went through the maze and played some games while we waited for the tractor to come back around.
When it finally got there, it was AWESOME to see that we were the only ones riding it!!
We got him to stop whenever we wanted and it was cool to have our own private hayride. =)
On it, we looked at bunch of fairy tale pumpkins set up and it was cute.
Me and Justin talked the whole time, mostly.
We decided on the names either Jonathan (Nathan/Nate for short), or Jason (because I like the name Jace.)
We both like the name Jossalyn for a girl. I would spell it like that because I like Ss, and I would call her Joss for short. Like Joss Stone.
Anywyas,
We got him to stop at the pumpkin patch because, even though we all picked out our perfect pumpkins, we wanted to look around and maybe pick baby ones!
I don't know, but I think I found the BEST! Of course everyone else had nice ones, too. =)

After that, we spent the night over Kris's house with plans to watch a scary movie and carve our pumpkins!!
Me, Kris, Christina, and Bubby had the best slumber party ever and when we woke up the next day, his mom and dad made us spaghetti and it was delicious!!
I'm getting hungry thinking aobut it!! =/

Speaking of getting hungry, I've been forced to eat so much lately because over the next 8 months I have to be a fat hog and gain between 25-40 pounds!!
Did I mention that?!!
They want me to gain that much weight!!

My last doctor's appointment I was at 112, and I think I've definitely been eating every second since then because they told me I need to step it up a little.
I weighed myself at Kris's the other ngith and I was only 108.. maybe his scale is wrong. Hopefully... =/

Also!
My brother moved in my mom's house the other night which is awesome because I love his dog and I like to hang out wiht him because we grew up to have a lot in common.
Haley is his dog though, and Pete hates her because she gets a little crazy.
But I think I am going to go over to my mom's house everyday to trian her. She's a pitt and she's the pretiest one I ever saw!
=)
I just love her.
Rich was going to give her away because he can't give her enough attention but that broke my heart and that's why I want to train her.
I will teach her to fuck bitches up if they mess with me, too. =)

Good News!
Today, at work, I waited on this guy.
I made his sandiwch and I was ringing him up and he says,
"Soo.. you work here part time?"
me-"yeah.. about 20 hours a week.."
guy-"you go to school?"
me-"nope, i just graduated high school last year.."
guy-"you want another job?"
me-"what??"
guy-"do you live locally?"
me-"yeah, right up the road!"
guy-"well our office is right down the street, i work at the chiropractor and i'm looking for an aide.."
me-"i dont have any experience..."
guy-"can you type?"
me-"yeah.."
guy-"i'll teach yu everything you have to know"

he wanted to get his card and he was about to run out to the car but i told him i'd just write down my number. i was so.. flabbergasted.
i had no idea what to say!

melaina overheard the whole thing and she was like, "why do people always do that to you?!?!"
I told my mom God must really love me because jobs ALWAYS fall in my hands.
I was working at Subway and I was thinking aobut getting a job waitressing but I wasn't 18 yet (I just turned 18 about a month ago.) and this lady came in and asked me if I ever waitressed before and told me if I wanted to start I would be interviewed the next day.
And it's just weird because everyone who's anyone knows I've been talking about wnting a job in a doctor's office as a receptionist or something.

Soo.. that's AWESOME!
My perfect job. =)
Offered to me with a black eye and all!

I told you this update was jam-packed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I got it all, if not, I'll update again soon!

4 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 15 October :: 11.27pm

c'est pathetique je sais
mais j'ai besoin de quelqu'un adorer
je suis tout seule et triste

6 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 13 October :: 4.34pm

eat fresh
Well, I just got back from Subway a little bit ago.
I thought I was just going there to sign papers but after I did that, she gave me a shirt and told me to go change. Sooo.. haha yeah, I worked 12-4 just to re-familiarize myself with everything.
And I did a good job!

I worked with Melaina and Leanne and I know Melaina and Leanne was totally cool so it worked out perfectly... and I even ate some good food. =)

Funny thing: While I was at work, I made myself a sandwich and I was getting ready to eat it when I took out my phone to check for missed calls from the hottie boyfriend.
I had a missed call from him and a text message from.... bishop.
She asked me if I had told cody that she had sex with someone because "something someone else said led her to believe it was me."
excuse me??
i got out my texting fingers as my temper rose and I was about to pour out my thoughts of, "i don't even talk to cody. i don't know why you think that everyone wnats your boyfriend but they dont. i have a good thing going on now and i'm about to have a family with justin. when people tell me that you sleep around and cheat on cody i just reply back by saying that cody is stupid and it serves him right. but that is none of my business to ever tell him and i haven't tried to talk to him in a very long time."
but... i held back.
instead, i admired myself for replying with a simple, "i don't talk to cody and i haven't for a very long time."
i smiled at that.
i'm a big person. =)

then, i forwarded her text to justin and he he agreed with me that she is retarded for thinking i ever would talk to cody and ruin what i have right now. well, he agreed more or less with a simple, "Oh thats funny. shes gay."

On my way home from work, I was thinking hard about the party tonight and made intentions on calling Jenna to ask her if I could start getting ready over her house after I picked up some clothes from Justin's.
Instead, I didn't call her and waited until I got home.
But she called me first.
She said I was welcome anytime to come shower over her house.
And when I started telling her about the text message Sarah sent me, I heard a familiar voice in the background.
I decided not to shower over there today.

Instead, I'm waitign for Justin to get home from work. =)

:: 2006 13 October :: 10.58am

everyone reads, yet nobody comments. fuckers.
I just came back from going to the high school with Christina for her senior project and now I have to get ready because I have to be at Subway in Rostraver at 12:00 to sign papers and agreements and get my uniform.

I felt like updating because I forgot to mention a couple things.

Yesterday, Liz texts me and says that Brent told her he was going to beat up my boyfriend. Haaaa. Yeah right.
First off, everyone knows that no one is capable of beating me nor my boyfriend up because we just so happen to be bad mother fuckers.
Secondly, he said this because "Justin stole his bike."
I told her to just let him know that I was the one who stole his bike. It was sitting in someone's yard and so I decided to keep it for my own. =)
Justin said that it didn't matter if I even said anything because it wasn't Brayden's bike to begin with like he thought it was. Because they thoguth they found Brayden's bike after it got stolen and they were going to give it back to him until they found out it wasn't even his.
Soo.. I still don't know whose bike it is and it apparently doesn't matter unless punks want to get tough. =)

Other than that, I think I'm out. I just forgot to add that in so I figured I'd do so considering how much you losers love drama.

:: 2006 13 October :: 9.16am
:: Mood: have to pee really bad

come on, happy chickens, come on

Well,
I just woke up.
Like.. officially.
I have to go to Subway at 12:00 to sign some papers and get my uniform since I started working there again.
A job is a job... Subway is an easy job.
Plus, I like food and Subway gives you free sammiches.

Yesterday was a fun day. Kinda.
Me and Babe went to Jenna's.
I was helping her make jello shots for Nicole's mom's surprise birthday party today.
I can't drink so I insisted we make me some virgin jello shots.
Justin and Betty were making fun of us the whole time.
..Basically.
At one point we had to make a run to Duritza's to get some more peach jello.
We had to make that into a fiasco of course and with Justin throwing a sticky thing at our heads from the back seat all the way home, Jenna and I decided to beep at random cars and pretend we knew them.
She beeped at this car with these two guys and we gave them the "heeeyy hotttiieee" wave and then following that car, Bishop drives past giving us the bitch look so we just gave her a little beep too.

Jenna has a new litte kitty.
So we have fun playing with him. =)
He was really sick when she first got him and we had to make him get better so now that he is, he is so fun to play with!
We haven't decided on a name, though.
Him a wittle orange fluff ball.
We started off calling him Hades,
but now Justin says it should be Sunkist. (gaaayyy)
We've been calling him Sonny for short, though.

After we chilled for a while, Kris and Christina dropped in.
They missed a good dinner, though. Me and Jenna pigged out on some chicken, some broccoli & cheese, and some baked potatoes!

Around 10:30 I looked at the clock and noticed it was waayyy past my bedtime.
I was dead tired and Justin looked as though he was too.
People make fun of us because we're usually in bed by 11, but we are busy adults with busy days!

We went home and got comfy and paaassed out.
Him my babe and I love him. Not a day goes by where I feel differently. We used to fight a lot, but that was normal considering we are together 24/7.
Now, we just get along like my mom and my step dad.
The only two people I know that NEVER fight.
I thoguth relationships were supposed to fight.. but I guess when you find the right one, you don't...

The good news! Belle Vernon FINALLY gave me my diploma. I am going on Monday to pick it up around 9:00 or something. It's jsut in the office.
The bad news: my digital camera is dead.
There are so many opportunities to take wonderful pictures and my batteries are D-E-A-D!
I need to charge them ASAP so I can get on the photo taking ball.
=)

No drama for this update. Well, there is plenty of drama, but none that's your business. It's not even my own!

:: 2006 11 October :: 10.21am

if i can do it, anyone can

Yesterday we went to Applebees.
I haven't ate steak in a lonnnggg time because I was on this kick for about a year and a half where I didn't eat meat except chicken.
Justin was really surprised when I ordered one.
When our food got there, it pissed me off that my steak was cooked a little longer than I like it, but when Justin started bitching about his steak being pink in the middle, I knew they switched 'em up.
It kind of disappointed me that we switched because my whole steak was nothing but fat and every bite i attempted ended up being spit into my napkin.

The potatoes were bomb, though. And my Garlic & Asiago chicken was quite tasty.

Afterwards, we went to my gram's so Justin could help my pap move a table, but my uncle had already moved it. We gave my grandma the money for Justin's car and bullshitted a little bit before we left. I took him to basketball and went to LaGrange to see my mom.
After practice was over, I went back to Justin's house where I max relaxed.
8:45 came flying by, and that was when I was supposed to be in West Newton to pick up Justin!! I forgot about him!!
So.. I did about 60mph and got there at about 9:00.

We watched True Life: I have terrettes syndrome and pretty much just chilled.
We ended up falling asleep at about 12:30 because we were messin' around instead of going to bed to wake up in the morning.

Today Justin has a doctor's appointment to get an x-ray on his ankle which I think is perfectly fine.
I'm about to take a shower and get ready for the day because we're leaving the house around 1:00 to head out to Charleroi.

This morning, Christina texts me and tells me about a fight in school.
Belle Vernon bitches are always getting into fights, they don't give a fuck where it's at. They run their mouths too much without ever being able to back it up.
Christina said Sam was fine and Liz said she has class with Brooke and Brooke looks perfectly fine, too.
No one knows how to draw blood anymore. Damn.

I was chillin in my living room yesterday, thinking of things.
I was actually thinking about church. The last time I was there, the sermon was on people who need saved. We prayed for everyone that needed help without saying anything out loud. I had in mind who I was praying for.
And yesterday, I realized there was someone I forgot about.

When your enemy is hungry, give him food. When he is thirsty, give him something to drink. No one gets anywhere with constant arguing and fighting.

It hit me. It's probably not Sarah's fault that she's crazy. She loved Justin and like so many people have told me millions of times before.. she thought she was going to be with him for the rest of her life. And when reality hit her, she didn't know how to deal with it. She was fucking 16. She did what any high school girl would have done--take it out on the new girlfriend.
I don't blame her.

The only thing that pisses me off are all the things I hear that she says about me. But Lisa, let it go.
I am starting a new life and starting a new life means starting over and letting go with some of the petty things that have been holding on to me.

She says that she NEVER says anythign about me and that may be true and it may not be. She is probably lying because it is pretty coincidental that three people who are not even friends with each other told me that Sarah says things about "how cool it is to be pregnant," and things like, "When my family found out, me, my mom, and my sisters were all jumping around the house, clapping and yelling."
Justin says when she says those things it just shows people that she still cares.
And yeah, things liek that piss me off, but why should they?

This isn't an accident. It's a surprise.
This isn't something that is going to ruin my life, it's just going to take it down a different path than what most people expected from me.
This is something I've always wanted, it just came a little earlier than I had planned.
I'm not dreading this, I'm embracing it.
And embracing it means to let go of and forget about the negative attitude that some people are going to have towards it.

And that is what I'm doing.

:: 2006 10 October :: 4.02pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: Let Her Cry - Hootie & the Blowfish

I needed an update.
Consider this as one.

<3 Me.

1 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 10 October :: 9.53am
:: Mood: starvingggg

you and your rumors
have one thing in common...
you both get around

Well, I am heading over to my mom's right about now.
I called her at like 8 or something, but she didn't answer and I just got ahold of her now.
I wanted her to call the MVH Health Center because they want me to exercise there in a program for free and I'm surely down for that.

I'm starving and I sitll haven't ate this morning, so I'm probably going to munch on something over there.
Justin's mom won like $4200 or something last night so she gave us $25 to go out to eat somewhere today. I'm going to pick him up from work around 4:00 or something and do that.

I haven't been able to take my medicine and that's kinda driving me up a wall. Not that I don't mind not taking it, I just hate the way my head acts without it. My medicine makes me happy. I think I need some kolonapin if I don't get something soon. Haha, me, Jenna, and Leah were talking about kolonapin the other day and I've wanted some ever since I thought about it.
If you don't know what it is, we call it our *happy pill,* it doesn't make you high or anything, it just makes everything insanely okay.
Speaking of Leah, me and Justin were over to see her new apartment on Saturday.
It's REALLY nice. I was totally amazed with how nice it is and i wish we could've got lucky with finding a place like that.
I told her to let me know if any places open up in that building.

Ughhh, my stomach is making noises.
It wants food--now.
I haven't ate since yesterday and my caloric intake is not supposed to be as low as it is.
Today me and Justin are going to Wal-Mart to get some food.
That definitely reminds me that I have to make a shopping list. ***

Okay, I think this update is beat, so I'm outtie.

:: 2006 9 October :: 3.09pm

ugh. i'm so bored.

Justin is coming home from work early.
He called and told me he's too hungry. Haha.
I told him he just wants to be like me.
I always say that because he does like, real cute things.
LIke yesterday, I was wearing all white and he kept telling me I looked pretty and then when we went back to his house he changed into all white and I told him he just wanted to be me. Hahaha.

He got a little bit more of his left arm colored in, did I say that?
It looks neat with arrows and stars and stuff.
He made another tattoo appointment for next week or something.
I was going to get one,
but I don't know because maybe I'll wait til after I have a baby.
For the longest time I was going to get the back of a fairy,
and I drew it super pretty.
Myabe I'll look for the sketch and scan it sometime.
Maybe not because someone might wanna steal it cause it was so super pretty.
But.. then I decided the back of a fairy isn't something I'm going to always want.
But I might always want an elephant. =)
I loooove elephants.
and so does my mom and I think I would get it in respect towards her.
A little black and white elephant on my shoulder, probably.
Maybe one on each shoulder facing each other.
I don't know.
Nothing on my hip, though.
Maybe after I have my baby I will put it's name on me. =)
I have always wanted a tattoo on my wrist and my ex-boyfriend's sister has her little girl's name on her wrist.
So.. I wouldn't copy that, but it's still a cute idea.
I would put it somewhere else.
Maybe the back of my neck?
Ugh, I'm rambling on about tattoos!!!

I don't even know what got me in the mood, me and Emily were drawing on her Doodle Bear (remember those?!) and I thought about tattoos...

Ugh, I'm out!!

:: 2006 9 October :: 11.04am

I could eat a whole fucking cow.
Babe went to work and I just woke up and went pee.
Haha, so I decided to update a little bit.

Anybody have any J names for a boy or a girl?
If so, let me know. Opinions are always welcome. =)

So...
Friday, I went and saw Crystal!!
I haven't seen her for the longest time.
I missed her so much. I was hungry and you know me, I was rambling on about food.. so she asked me if I wanted some chicken that she made a little bit ago.
It was sooo good. It had brocolli and stuffing stuffed inside.
Mmmm.

While I was visiting there, Justin went to the game with his boyfriends. They left at halftime to meet me at BP to go to the movies.
We went and saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning at Loews.
It was packed!! We sat up pretty close but it wasn't so bad.
Not considering we skipped the previews because we had to go to Wendy's to get our food on. Haha.
The movie--it was scary.
The only movie that has ever scared me was Texas Chainsaw Massare the first one. Not the old school one, but the remake.
This one was even more graphic and I have to admit, I definitely had my eyes shut for a good 40% of this movie.

When we saw Jackass II, the only part I had to look away for was the part where they drank the horse cum. That part made me want to throw up.

I was scared that I was going to have awful dreams about being tortured by a man with my boyfriend's face all night, but instead I just dreamed of getting into fights--my favorite dreams.
I just lay in close with Justin and I always manage to sleep pretty well.

The only thing is that I wake up about a million and two times during the night to go pee. Haha.
I HATE that. But, oh well.

On Saturday,
We went to Fright Night at Kennywood.
Christina told us it was liek $13 to get in, but uhh.. it ended up being $20 a person.
Oops.
The bad thing about it was that it sucked.
We went with Kris, Christina, Span, and Racquel and the good things was that we ate some damn good soft pretzels, and we had a lot of fun throwing corn at people standing in line.
At one point, we decided we should cut in line, and I was the first one to step over because everyone was pussies.
Christina jumped over next,
and then Justin followed us, pretending he didn't know we got so far in line because he was on his cell phone.
Kris, Jeff, and Racquel stepped over and the girl in front of me got an attitude.
She was like, "Uhh excuse me, our friends are behind you."
I don't take well to girls with attitudes, but I can see where she was coming from. I said, "it's cool."
She got an even more bitchy-er look on her face that read "no it's not cool," but she just looked at me when I said, "i mean, it's cool, they can cut in front of us, we're not trying to split people up."

After that, they were totally cool with us and they ended up being from Belle Vernon. Figures, girls with attitudes come from BVA. Ha.

My baby won me a cute stuffed bear, too!
These black girls were shooting the far thing and missing each time, so he stepped in and asked for a try.
He paid $2 for one ball and made it on his first try.
The girls were like, "daaaaammmn! he banged that!," "daaamn, that white boy made that!" it was funny.
Soo atleast i got a cute, cuddly bear. =) I love presents.

Racquel and Christina were making fun of Justin and they kept asking him what he was naming his baby girl. hahaha. he gets soo pissed. He's always like, "it's a boy and his name is BAM!"

Anyways, I'm starving so I think I'm going over my mummy's house to eat something!
Babe keeps on calling me because he's starving and doesn't want to take a lunch to spend any money.
He wanted me to pack a lunch and bring it up to him but there's no way I'm driving allthe way to Greensburg to bring him food!! I told him he should've told me to pack one last night! Soo... I guess I'll pack one tonight so he can take it tomorrow.

Only two more weeks and his caddy is paid off.
That's exciting. He might just turn around and sell it, though.
We don't know yet.

Anywyas, I'm outtie! I'm goin to my mom's for a little bit to take a shower and stuff. =)

Peaceeee!

:: 2006 9 October :: 11.04am

A lot of people are pro-choice.

These are the procedures of an abortion:

49% of pregnancies among American women are unintended; about 40% of these are terminated by abortion. On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 2/3 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner.

You can have an abortion at four months, but it depends on where you live. There are some states that do not allow abortions after 10-12 weeks, but you can find a clinic that will do the procedure.

It is illegal in most countries to have a abortion once the fetus has reached 4 months old as the fetus is a fully developed, human child and can feel pain, fear, has a heart beat and experiences everything a full grown human would.

BUT!!
At 10 wks, I heard my baby's heart beat.
And at 11 wks, this is how far my baby has grown:
Your fig-sized baby is now fully formed � measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. His skin is still transparent, allowing many of his blood vessels to show through. Some of his bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under his gums. His fingers and toes have separated, and he may soon be able to open and close his fists. He's already busy kicking and stretching, and his tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as his body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As his diaphragm develops, your tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because he's still so small, though, you won't feel any of his workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

And at 4months, this is how far your baby will be.
This is how old he can be to still perform an abortion.
You can kill your baby when he is this big:
At 4 1/2 inches long (head to bottom) and 3 1/2 ounces, your baby is about the size of an avocado. In the next three weeks, she'll go through a tremendous growth spurt, though, doubling her weight and adding inches to her length. Her lower limbs are much more developed now. Her head is more erect than it has been, and her eyes have moved toward the front of her head. Your baby's ears are close to their final position, too. Some of her more advanced body systems are working, including her circulatory system and urinary tract. Her heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, circulating her total blood volume through her body many times. (By the end of your pregnancy, this will increase to about 190 quarts.) The patterning of her scalp has begun, though her hair isn't recognizable yet. Although closed, her eyes are moving (slowly), and she's even started growing toenails.

Why not just consider adoption?
Lots of people want but can't have a baby to love, and you are throwing yours away.
Adoption is cost-free and you don't have to give any information that you don't want to.
There are even a lot of places that you can drop your baby off to without even showing your face.

:: 2006 8 October :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Warning - Incubus

So Kelly owes me 5 games of Scrabble.
It'll be fun, he doesn't even know.

I'm definitly sick. I have a dizzy headache, a sore throat, and a cough. I couldn't stay awake last night so I bid farewell to the love of my life and went to bed at 12:30. I didn't wake up until 2:00 this afternoon, and only then because I had to help Taylor cook. I kind of want to go back to bed, but I'll just roll around restlessly because I'm more exhausted than tired.

I'm so damn happy we've not got school tomorrow. I think Kelly has to do something though. I can't quite recall what it is, but I remember talking about it. I have a lot of homework to catch up on anyway. Mean mean teachers. Only one more year though... Then college and more, harder homework.
*sigh*

I need to fill out a FAFSA packet, but I have to find dad's PIN number first. I don't want to do that. I'll probably end up making him get a new one. Yeah. Quick fix.

I really need a car. Too bad my parents suck and won't just get me one. I'd pay them back, they know I would. But they incist that people won't just do things for me with the promise that I'll pay them back, so they won't either. I know they're right, but ... they're my PARENTS. They so need to cut me some slack.

I also need to save up a few hundred and get a bank account. This would be a smart thing to do. I need to go steal a mathbook and science book and study for the ACT because I really need to get those two scores up and I'd possibly be able to get a 24. All the other scores are good. I got a 28 on Reading. I kind of went dumb last time I took it and wasn't paying attention to the time on Reading so I ran out of it and had to guess on the last 2 stories' questions. That was stupid. Won't happen this time.

��Me��

3 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 6 October :: 11.26pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Hate Me - Blue October

So Ferris has all my info. They can now love me or leave me.

Kelly's workin and totally preoccupied. Makes me sad, but I'm happy he got the Eden job... thing. Surely it'll make him happy? If not... uh... he'll do somethin. Uh-huh... Ok. Done with that one.

I want to be able to stay up as late as I want on Friday night, but staying up late during the week makes me really tired, so then I'm exhausted come Friday and not able to keep my eyes open. Not cool.

So my family keeps talking to me about going to Ferris; how I'm "not very good with money" "don't know what I'm getting in to" "I don't know anything about financial aide" "how am I going to pay for it?" "what's the cost for a full year?"
I like how they think I'm completely moronic and cannot do one fucking thing. Even if I don't get accepted, I'll work my ass off here with 8 full time jobs until I save enough money up and then just move up there anyway, just to spite them. Just to show them that I can make it on my own, don't need any of their help, not that they offered in the first place.
I just wish all the stuff they said didn't hurt and that I really did have the heart of ice they say I do.

2 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 5 October :: 10.46am
:: Music: Brooke Valentine ft. Lil' Jon & Da Brat - Girl Fight (remix)

It's about to be a..
..girl fight! =)

Sendin' this out to all the ladies who got beef with another bitch,
Just walk up to that bitch and tell her:

We 'bout to throw them bows.
We 'bout to swing them thangs.
It's about to be a what??... GIRLFIGHT!!

There she go talkin' her mess,
All around town makin' me stress.
I need to get this off my chest,
and if her friend want some then she'll be next!
It really ain't that complicated..
Y'all walking 'round looking all frustrated.

Know you really don't wanna step to this!
Really don't know why you talkin' shit.
You're about to catch one right in the lip,
It's about to be a what? Girlfight!
'Bout to go real hard, 'bout to swang them thangs,
'Bout to feel elbows all in ya brain. =)

I know you don't want me to split ya dome.
Girl, you makin' me really mad.
I'm about to bruise ya face and it's sad.

I hit her full throttle.
Didn't think I could do it,
'Cause I look like a model!

I'm so impossible!
Originated for girlfights,
The first to leave a heffa in the hospital!

Ya'll can't never take me and insinuate me,
Turn around and bite me, and try to demonstrate me!

How bout I slap ya, and hit ya with one of these?
Punch ya homie in the mouth with a handful of rings!
Don't need no help, I can do it myself!
Ya had a clique full of girls, now you all by yourself!!!
YEAAAAHH....
You all alone, you ain't sayin' one word.
Think security gonna stop it? I'll just flip them a bird.

You gotta beef baby?
Lemme tell ya, we can cook it!
Put ya dukes up bitch!
You wanna fight?? We can do it!!!

Slit ya throat to the meat, bitch if you got beef.
And thats food for thought, so my kids can eat.
I'll let her world cave in, like her face.
Nobody know I done it, 'cause I left no trace!

Do what I say, lay my knuckles on ya jaw.
You won't never get a witness sayin' what they saw.
I ain't tryin' to be no victim, you wanna cross that line?
I'll leave a bitch leakin' blood, like its period time.
I throw them bows left to right..
I'm So So Def-a-like legendary--like Like Mike, Biiiottch!

1, 2 meet me outside

You the type to talk slick quick and get ya ass whipped!
And then go call the cops!!
Lose your jewels in the process of gettin' stomped,
File all type of reports sayin you got robbed.
Now that ain't gangsta, and you ain't gangsta.
Matter fact, your whole mother fuckin' crew is WANKSTAS!!

If that chick with her, watch her let her hit the flo!

1 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2006 5 October :: 10.15am
:: Mood: freezing
:: Music: Aqua - Musica Aerobica

Happy boys and happy girls will be so happy, yeah, so so happy, yeah

Wooo..
I love jammin to Aqua.
Haha.. and I love Justin.

I had to take him to work AGAIN this morning because Shaun was sleeping in.. but I don't really mind all that much.
Then, he calls me at like 9:30 to make sure I got here okay. Haha.

We were gonna move into Rostraver Apartments to save money for a while but my mom REALLY doesn't want us to do that.
She said there's too much trouble there and that for us and that she would much rather look for some place nicer.
I dunno.. I don't really care.
We are pushing for money and we don't want help from anyone else, you know? We decided that we want to do this ourselves.

Now take me for instance babe,
See my love would drive ya crazy,
'Cause I be goin' boom like an 808.
Be makin' circles like a figure eight.
You know it feels good from head to toe,
Now hold on to me, baby, here we go.

Other than that,
I'm even MORE bored now, not working or not going to school,
but atleast it feels good to be finished.

Oh, and.. you know what I hate?
I hate little dogs.
The only little dog that I ever NOT had a problem with is Rocky.
He is the only little dog I can say I actually can tolerate.
I HATE Shitzus.
That's official.
Justin's mom has this little black and white one
and me and Justin hate him.
First off, I hate boy dogs.. and LITTLE bog dogs?
Yeah, I probably wouldn't feel bad to hit one and I feel bad hittng anything fuzzy.

The other day, I hit my first animal. =(
I stopped in the middle of the road, bawling my eyes out.
Did I write about this yet?
I was traumatized. Justin told me to keep driving,
but when he saw how upset it got me, he told me it's okay.
I asked, "but what if I didn't kill it and I just hurt it?!"
he said, "ohh, you killed it. you ran over it's head.. would it make you feel better to go back?"
i said, "no. what if it's not there?"

The next day we were on a smoke ride and we were on that same road.. and it wasn't there.
But Brown comforted me by saying it was probably a opossum.

Ehh.. i'm out.

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