lilkristen
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2004 26 October :: 9.05pm
:: Mood: sad
To Ms. Ferrara
I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
A crowd of people around you
Telling you it's okay
And everything happens for a reason
When you lose a part of yourself
To somebody you know
It takes a lot to let go
Every breath that you remember
Pictures fade away but memories forever
An empty chair at all the tables
And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down
But it's better where your going anyway
I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
It's really hard to get through
Tough times and long days
For now we'll say goodbye
We know it's not the last time
I've lost the best part of my day
This is the last thing
I will remember
Its better where you're going anyway
"Sonny" - New Found Glory
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lilkristen
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2004 26 October :: 9.14am
im in 1st period now.. ms. ferrara died... the whole school is like crying hysterically.. its sooo sad.. the seniors are soooo upset a ton of them came into HR this morning to see ms willard cuz they know they were like best friends.. ms willard made our whole hr cry.. and i saw alexa and she was crying soo hard, she made me cry again.. and cait's real upset too cuz she knew her soo well.. her whole homeroom's a mess.. this suckss.. and ms willard was gettin all into 'if you've ever lost a family member' and briana started crying cuz of her mother.. i was like omg.. this whole day has been so horrible.. i just want it to end..
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2004 25 October :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: happy
mrs. baker came today for homeschooling.
blah.
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lilkristen
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2004 25 October :: 6.47pm
omg i think i sprained my ankle.. and we still have a game left.. omg it hurts soo bad.. like i twisted my hurt ankle and the pain just shot thru my ankle and i remember gettin dizzy for a sec and losing my balance and then standing up til the ref blew the whistle to end the game 5 seconds later.. and i collapsed.. grrr it hurts! i dont wanna believe that its sprained but i think it is.. =( i hope i can play tomorrow.. we can win that game.. if i dont play christle has to..
haha we had the ref that hates me.. he screamed at me and chucked the ball straight at me.. it was the same ref who fucked us the first time we played stella...
oh well.. dinner..
K
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2004 24 October :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: wheat - i met a girl
friday jim and his mom took gabrielle for a couple hours.. i had to stay home and watch my sisters- and then i got in trouble because my mom told me that she wasn't allowed to go with them.. so we got into a big fight over that.
saturday morning at 2:42 am, gabrielles umbilical cord fell off.. she's growing up so quick!!
then around noon, donna [jims mom] came to pick me up and we went to see her boss, jims sister shelly, went to the mall and out to eat- then i came back here around 7:00 and went to work. my aunt loraine watched the baby. around 11:00 that night jim and his mom came to pick me up at the bar and took me home to get gabrielle then we went back to his house and stayed the night
today [sunday] jim and i woke up around 2:00, we ate jims sister shelly came over, then after she left his gram and cousin rachel came over for a little bit.. then we ate, sat around for an hour or so; then went out to see jims other sister kim and his dad. i got home around 9:30 i think.
it was a great weekend. (:
<3
p.s. kathy- if you're reading this.. i left the address to that handwritting anaylsis after the last note you left me in that entry. just in case you didn't know!
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lilkristen
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2004 24 October :: 8.08pm
wow no one comments anymore.. i used to have like 6-10.. now i have 0.. woohoo.. i'm loved!
lets see.. the news for today.. i made 20 bucks reffing for brian! yeaaaah.. and i found out who peter o'rourke was lol.. i knew who his brother was but i didnt know him.. and i'm playing a joke on lori, this girl alexa knows that hates her and erin and its really funny lol.. anywayyy.. yea i dont have time to update about anything else.. i thought i'd have time for a long update but i dont.. later
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yadiffy04
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2004 24 October :: 12.18am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Have a Drink On Me- AC/DC
Hey all,
Well, not a whole lot has gone on, ummm.....me and Grace havent talked all week...Big Whoop! (for all you dumb ppls, that was scarcastic) Geez..um, I was up at 6:30 this morning, and I went to Mr Bates ranch, and went on a 5 mile trail clean up, we had to go and trim every bush in sight, it took us six and a halve hours. So, now Morgan is over at my house, and were hangin around, playing video games, and going on the comp. Its cool, oh, We think Morg has a secret admirer. So, Ill see ya all l8r.
Stevo
"Life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
P.S. Comments Please!
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2004 21 October :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: juvinille - slow motion
i dont know..
why does everything have to be so difficult?
hmmmmm, i wanted to go over jims house this weekend so i asked my mom and she basicly said no. so we got into a fight about how i always have to watch my sisters. i haven't talked to her since last night. i locked my bedroom door so no one could get in.
blah blah blah. it all just goes in through one ear, and right out the other.
<3
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2004 20 October :: 7.40am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: our lady peace - clumsy
"you will be safe with meeee.."
i love that song.
anyways, yesterday i went to this thing in upper st. clair. it's called People to People Student Ambassadors.. a group of kids get to go to another county for 20 days over the summer.. my mom and george think this is a great oppertunity for me, and that i should apply for a position to go. i don't know if i want to leave gabrielle.. 20 days is a long time. :( i guess you had to be nominated by a teacher/adult to get a letter from this program.. i wonder who nominated me? it's bugging me..
gabrielle kept me up til 2:00 last night, i think she's sick, or getting sick- but i hope not.. she woke up at 6:00, i fed her a bottle and she went right back to sleep. but i stayed up.. i'm not quite sure why. i'm going to be very tired later.. i'll probably take a nap or something, i don't know.
i guess my mom is staying home the whole day today.. she might actually make.. dinner!!!
..whoa, what's.. DINNER???
we usually eat a bowl of ceral or some toast.
ya know, breastfeeding is a lot harder than it sounds. i tried to breastfeed, but.. i don't know, i guess it's wierd to have to go to a different room just to feed gabrielle. i don't like that.. it's not the fact that it hurts a little bit, it's just that i don't like feeling that i'm making everyone feel wierd when i do it in the room. i don't know, it's hard to explain.. i don't really know what even made me think of it.
*sighs* i'm so weird sometimes.
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2004 20 October :: 1.29am
:: Mood: tired
my handwritting analysis.
Here is your analysis.
Jena exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although she may not intend to deceive or mislead, she blows things way out of proportion because that is the way she views them. She will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of her material world. Jena allows many people into her life because she is accepting and trusting. She is sometimes called gullible by her friends. That only really means that she trusts too many people. Jena has a vivid imagination.
Jena has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Something is incomplete in Jena's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Jena's sexual needs.
One way Jena punishes herself is self directed sarcasm. She is a very sarcastic person. Often this sarcasm and "sharp tongued" behavior is directed at herself.
Jena is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Jena basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach." She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
In reference to Jena's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Jena slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Jena can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Jena is not facing something going on in her life today. She is deceiving herself about it. Often, Jena's opinion of herself is different than those around her. This trait gives Jena the ability to deny anything that does not agree with her "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Jena not to face some reality in her life at this time.
Jena is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Jena will be somewhat moody, with lows and highs. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Jena an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Jena is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Jena is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
People that write very large tend to be very social and friendly. It seems Jena has this type of writing. This indicates a need for people and a particular natural ability to socialize and be the life of the party. Now, if Jena also has specific fears (like fear of criticism or fear of trust) then she will deny she is the life of the party, because fear has overcome her natural inclination to be social. People with large handwriting tend to be effective at anything that requires interaction with lots of people. she is a people person.
According to the inputted data, Jena has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Jena has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad.) If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the girl who is "hard to get" most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships. For more information about this "stinger" trait, visit this webpage: http://www.myhandwriting.com/analyze/hlltrt5.html. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.
hmmm.. that's all very true.
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2004 19 October :: 1.08am
:: Mood: touched
i was sitting here earilier today flipping through the channels while gabrielle was sleeping, and i turned on Maternity Ward on TLC. there was a women in labor.. i remembered when i was in her place, sitting in the hospital getting an epidural. having gabrielle was the most wonderful experience of my whole life, and i know it will be for the rest of my life. i just hope that when you [the person that's reading my journal] have a child, you'll feel the same. it's amazing how much i love her. i never thought i could love anyone this much. and i mean it's a totally different kind of love from the way i love jim.. i don't know it's hard to explain. one day when you have kids, you'll think back and say "hey, that one chick said i'd feel something like this.. now i know what she means." *sighs* okay, i'll get off my soap box.
gabrielle just fell back asleep.. but i'm not really tired; so i thought i'd rant on here for a bit.
today i didn't do much, took care of the baby, jim and his mom stopped down for a bit and visited. kelly came over to, then we went over her house to get something to eat and watched sixteen candles. that movie is so cute. *smiles* ahhh..
anyways.. it was raining all day today, it was miserable. i think i'm getting a cold.
so sometimes i get bored and i go into chatrooms on aol. i don't talk, i don't really do anything except read the convos in the room [they make me laugh.. haha] but anyways, if someone IM's me; i'll talk. then as soon as i say something about me having a baby- they stop talking. now why is that? is it a scary thing to have a baby? do i scare people now? haha; it makes me laugh.. i just thought i'd share that with everyone.
hmmm.. i have to get a costume for saturday.. it's the costume party at the bar.. i'm waitressing. so i'm thinking of ideas.. help!
kelly, if you're reading this in school- leave me a note telling me what time your computer class is so i can get online to talk to you!
well, i'm off to bed.. gonna try to get some sleep before i have to get up with gabrielle.
<3
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lilkristen
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2004 18 October :: 9.53pm
soccer today.. we lost.. but i scored a goal! woot! and im the sweeper! lmao i got to take the penalty shot and the goalie blocked it but i got it off the rebound! hahaa.. sorry it was exciting.. if you dont know, the sweeper is the last defender, which means im nowhere near the goal we shoot at, which means im probably not gunna get another goal for a long time lol.. yea but omg it should have been tied.. we lost 3 to 1 but the second goal was an offsides and the third goal.. i was down and crying hysterically cuz i really really hurt my ankle and the ref is standing right next to me watching me cry but not stopping play until they score a goal, meanwhile sophia and allison are next to me seeing if im ok so with me and allison not there half the defense is gone.. the ref is supposed to stop play but he didnt.. and he kept cheering for the other team!!!!!!!!!! i was like wtf! reffs are supposed to be UNbiased.. it was such a shitty game.. we play them again next week.. omg if we have the same ref im gunna kill him. we should win.
Loren! YOU ARE A GOALIE KILLER! lmao love youu<3 IM GOING TO STOP YOU IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO KILL THE SWEEPER!!!
haha julie in gym.. what does a sweeper do? my reply: they get to take a broom and sweep the ball away from the goal and hit the other team with the broom when the ref isnt looking =) julie: ohhhhh!
=]
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yadiffy04
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2004 18 October :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Ramble On- Led Zeppelin
Hey guys,
Well, Grace and I broke up, and if you want the story on that, email me. I called it too, just look back 2 or 3 entrys. Uummmm...Im not to upset about it, I mean, whats done is done, and we have to se whats going to happen. My bro backhanded me yesterday, so he might have some payback coming, cause paybacks a bitch, and so am I......I love that. Aubrey is coming over on Wednesday, cant wait for that. Um, my band has a website, its open, but its under construction, check it out. www.freewebs.com/manualoverride
thats my band^^^^^^^^^^
She said she wanted me to leave, but Im gonna do more than that, Im gonna leave, and never come back, so, I hope you have a nice rest of you life. And I hope your successful, but thats all, I dont care about anything else. I also hope that your friend gets her nose out of were it doesnt belong, cause one day shell be walking down an alley with a stranger, and slip up with something she wasnt supposed to say, cause it wasnt any of her business, and shes gonna be skrewed, cause noone will help her, cause she backstabbed them all. you know who you are, you yelled and screamed at me, but all you did was light the fuse in me, and now, the fuse is getting shorter, and who knows when im gonna blow.
Stevo
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2004 17 October :: 1.25pm
:: Mood: cold.. i don't think that's a mood, but oh well.
:: Music: the river runs through it [a good movie]
i'm so cold, my fingers hurt. *turns up the heat*
we went to the doctors on friday for gabrielle. she now weighs 9 pounds, 13 ounces.. she gained a pound and 2 ounces in a week and a half.. goodness! but everything else is okay, she's a healthy little girl!
i went to the mall friday night and bought her the cutest outfit from the gap.. [i spent all my money, because they're so expensive there..] but it was worth it, because it is so cute.
today i think jim is coming to get me and the baby around 5-6, then we're going to get a crib for jims house out his dads. we'll see.
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lilkristen
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2004 17 October :: 8.14am
my night last night...
me and Erin and Alexa going to see the forgotten.. and yea we kinda laughed a little lol ok maybe alot.. but like it helped cuz sometimes when i was scared, she'd be cracking up and then i'd start cracking up and yea.. like when the lady got like thrown into the sky erin was cracking up lol
and then i went to kaitlyn's.. lol it was really funnyy.. we watched mean girls, and then we made popcorn ((i know, why make popcorn after the movie?)) but we did. so anyway, kaitlyn decides to spray the floor with furniture polish to make it slippery lmaoo
R.I.P. Swiffer. 1985 - 2004
A lovely 19 years it had, carrying Kaitlyn across the floor, and getting in Kelly's way making her fall on her ass =) We will miss it dearly.
oMg kaitlyn had fifi hair and lipstick all over her face! and kelly's new name is pierre. and my new name is sasha! lmao wow we had so much fun last night.
im cold.
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