I wish I could change the ways of the world, make it a nice place. Until that day I guess we stay, doing what we do.

 

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Screwing who we screw.

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miniredhawk

:: 2006 3 April :: 12.20am

Thursday night, 6pm, Craigs Cruisers on 54th street and Clyde Park, thats where my birthday party is at, be there or be square

Comment and let me know if you'll be there or not!

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empath

:: 2006 1 April :: 10.21am
:: Music: James Blunt- No Bravery

As much as I hate myself, I just realized that I hate everyone else even more. So stop being dumb selfish bitches and do things for the benefit of others.
Bitches.

2 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 31 March :: 2.00pm
:: Mood: Happy

F-L-O-R-I-D-A
Well Lisa and I are here in Florida. It's 84 degrees right now :D.

We sat in first class on our plane. It's pretty much the only way to go. Once you sit in first class, you never want to go back to...half ass class or economy class. Whatever people call it these days. While everyone was getting served peanuts, we were getting served breakfast.

Yesterday we got here really early so we went to the pool most of the day, went shopping, went out to dinner, watched The O.C. (which was very dissapointing by the way.) and then we went to bed.

We just got back from the pool and now we're getting ready because in a while we are going to the pier to go shopping and then out to dinner.

I guess I really don't have anything else to say besides I miss everyone.

much love, ashley

I guess i'll take this really quick. Thanks pie.

Read more..

7 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 30 March :: 12.53am

Tomorrow=Florida! We just got to our hotel room in Detroit about 20 minutes ago. Our plane leaves VERY early. We'll be in Florida at around 9:00am. We have to get up at 4:00am which is not too far away so I doubt Lisa and I will even go to sleep. We're going to try to stay up. My dad is already sleeping haha..

In other news I guess I was just being paranoid about Aaron and tonight everything worked out like it was supposed to. He was like "seriously Ashley, I ran out to your car after school just so I could see you before you left!"...*smiles*

I hope everyone has a wonderful spring break. Stay safe.

I had quite the time putting my suitcases in the car today...Kelli knows that haha.

Love, Ashley!

2 Comments | Comment?


tesunai

:: 2006 29 March :: 12.16pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: none my damn speakers dun work

ok this irritates the hell outa me.. i dont understand her at all, i finnaly start dating this girl and 2 weeks later she like i dont think i love u as much as u love me, then shes like marrage frightens me and there no reason to date someone i cant marry...what the hell does that mean, why even start dating me if she didnt want to to begin with... or did i just scare her off.. i dont get her at all.. if she doesnt love me that much why does she get jealous so easily, its almost as bad as my ex she loves me so much but doesnt want to be with me, but she gets pissed whenever i like another girl or pay more attention to them than her.. this is after she broke up with me of course... i really shouldnt have to deal with all this.
but i will...

1 Comment | Comment?


tesunai

:: 2006 29 March :: 12.16pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: none my damn speakers dun work

ok this irritates the hell outa me.. i dont understand her at all, i finnaly start dating this girl and 2 weeks later she like i dont think i love u as much as u love me, then shes like marrage frightens me and there no reason to date someone i cant marry...what the hell does that mean, why even start dating me if she didnt want to to begin with... or did i just scare her off.. i dont get her at all.. if she doesnt love me that much why does she get jealous so easily, its almost as bad as my ex she loves me so much but doesnt want to be with me, but she gets pissed whenever i like another girl or pay more attention to them than her.. this is after she broke up with me of course... i really shouldnt have to deal with all this.
but i will...

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swimfan14

:: 2006 28 March :: 3.15pm

I really don't think things with us are going to work out. Maybe they will but right now I'm having doubts about this whole thing. I'm not doing the whole in between thing again. I really am not looking forward to tonight because I know I'm going to be forced to say things that are really hard for me to say. I really don't have any interest in talking to the kid right now. I would ignore him but it's not going to solve anythinig at all and considering I leave tomorrow, we have some problems we need to fix. We'll see what happens I guess.

I'm going to Dani's grandmas mansion today to stay the night. That should be fun.

I need to go pack though..

I should have learned over the years that good things don't last forever.

So apparently I messed up on my T.

2 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 27 March :: 9.28pm

I’ll admit it got to me
Hearing your voice
It took all I had to just let you talk
And not pick up where we left off
Every night since your goodbye
I hit my knees and closed my eyes
And I pray that you’d come back
Too many tears washed out that bridge
You wanna cross, but baby, it’s too late for that
Last night would’ve been a different story
But the morning sun must’ve done something for me
Because I bet I’d gone the other way
If you’d called yesterday
If you’d called yesterday

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swimfan14

:: 2006 26 March :: 11.57pm

Fate fell short this time.
That was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm sorry.

I know things are a mess but everything will be alright. I promise.

This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How could you say you meant anything different to anyone
Standing alone on the street with a cigarette on the first night
we met
Look to the past and remember and smile
And maybe tonight I can breath for a while
I'm not in this scene I think I'm falling asleep
But then all that it means is I'll always be dreaming of you.



Tails

:: 2006 24 March :: 7.04pm

Fucking GOD!!!

3 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 24 March :: 1.02pm
:: Mood: calm


Dear Ashley,

I love you. You're perfect just the way you are, don't ever change for anyone. Not that you would anyway, haha ^_^ You're the best, don't ever forget it. So no matter what, (and you know what I mean) chin up, because someday, you're going to be somebody. Those who couldn't make the time for you now (and you know what I mean) will be kicking themselves when they see who you've become.

You're a star, babe. Let it shine.

<3 M

3 Comments | Comment?


Tails

:: 2006 24 March :: 3.52am
:: Music: Wilco - The Late Greats

In Deed The Snow Comes
So i was thinking about how things seem to add up in time.

But i dont want to wait anymore><

I'm impatience when it comes to making things work lol.

I want my money and i want my TOTAL freedom.

1 Comment | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 23 March :: 5.35pm


Cant you see?
There's a feeling that's come over me.
Close my eyes.
You're the only one who leaves me completely breathless.
No need to wonder why.
Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny.
I wanted to fly so you gave me your wings and time held it's breath so I could see, yeah you set me free.

When I was alone, you came around.
When I was down, you pulled me through.
There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you.


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swimfan14

:: 2006 19 March :: 10.18pm

Well this weekend was pretty good. Friday I hung out with Aaron. Saturday I went to Olive Garden and then Elyse, Stacy, and Aaron came over and we went to the musical only to see Dani. Then Aaron came over afterwards and today I hung out with Dani and Stacy.

Stacy is at my house right now. She's sleeping in our guest bedroom lol.

Ohh and I can't forget my story. On Saturday I was at the gas station with Elyse and we were meeting my dad there because he had to give me something and anyways I threw my gum wrapper out my car window and a cop pulled up behind me and walked to my window and was like "what did you throw out the window?" and I was like "umm a gum wrapper" and he goes "do you know that's illegal, a $500 fine, and you could go to jail" and I was like "no, I didn't know that" and then he made me get out and pick it up and then my dad pulls up and at this time Elyse is laughing hysterically and so am I. I couldn't help it. I thought it was amusing. So then my dad was like "what's going on?" and I'm like "well I threw a wrapper out the window *sarcastically*" and my dad was like "God dammit Ashley I always fucking tell you not to throw shit out the window!" and I'm like "umm no you don't dad, you never tell me that" and the cop was debating on whether or not to give me a ticket and my dad was like "give her a ticket, actually give her two of them" and I didn't care if I got one or not because I wouldn't end up paying for it anyways and I have no idea how this works but the cop said since I'm a minor my dad would have to pay for it which doesn't even make any sense to me and then the cop was like "do you pay for your car" and i'm like "no" and he goes "how about your insurance?" and I was like "no" and then he said "how about gas?" and I was like "no" and then he goes "Do you pay for anything? and I was like "nope" and then I started laughing and he goes "it's not funny!" and then Elyse was like "don't you have better things to do besides harassing us, like...solving crimes?" and the cop just looked at her. I'm suprised he didn't arrest her for saying that or something but I couldn't help but laugh. The cop said since he let someone else off the hook today he guesses he'll let me off too so I didn't get a ticket luckily..oh and then the cop pulls up to get gas afterwards and my dad walks to his truck and he gets out all of the trash he has and he walks to the trash can right by the cop and throws all his stuff away. I was like what the hell...way to suck up to the cop. I don't know why my dad told the cop that he always tells me not to throw stuff out the window because he never tells me that and I barely ever do that to begin with. It all makes me laugh. We went through all that because I threw a gum wrapper out my window. Good god..

6 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 19 March :: 5.44pm

If I knew that you were leaving, I wouldn't have waited so long. I would have left so long ago and if there really still was something left to say to you, you'd realize just what is true. How i've been blamed for everything you do, cause it can't be all my fault, it still takes two to break apart the truth. I learn, I still learn. Every single day.


Tails

:: 2006 18 March :: 10.50pm

What about the past?

If we forget what we were will that really help us become what we want to be?

I gave up on the children who i grew up with because i didnt want old memorys. i only have room in my head for new bright ones.

We will all end up somewhere else.

I can't wait.

1 Comment | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 17 March :: 5.00pm

Today is St. Patricks Day. Do I even know what it is? Not really? I feel like a complete moron right now but I'm not Irish so I don't celebrate it and I know some people do even though they aren't Irish but I don't know what the whole meaning behind it is. I didn't even know it was St. Patricks Day today in the first place and when I got to school and seen everyone wearing green, well let's just say it sorta clicked. Everyone kept pinching me and I was just like fuck off.

I had a pretty embarrassing moment today. Elyse and I were in Seminar and we walked out and we went upstairs so I could turn in something to Mrs. Laidlaw for english and I was carrying my folder with the paper on top which I wrote in pencil and obviously my folder was up against my chest sorta since that's just how us girls carry our stuff and anyways I went to hand her my paper and she was like "what does all this say?" and I'm like "what are you talking about?" and she pointed and then I realized that half of the paper was smeared and I look down and like my whole shirt was covered with...well I don't even know what you call it..pencil smearings haha...it was embarrassing but good thing I had another shirt on under it.

Speaking of english...well I really hate that class. We are reading the dumbest book possiable and our class is almost finished and Kelli and I are still on chapter 3. I can't pay attention and I have no idea what is going on and we have this big test on it and we have to write an essay. School seriously sucks. I'm just going to go to sparknotes and read what happens so I somewhat pass the test.

I guess I'll take this just because everyone else has and it will entertain me for about three minutes.

I've kissed...
01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [] on their hands or fingers.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] of the opposite sex.
07. [ ] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [x] with black hair.
11. [X]with curly hair.
12. [X] blonde hair and blue eyes.
13. [ ] with red hair.
14. [x] with straight hair.
15. [ ] shorter than me.
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [x] who i truly love/loved
18. [x] who was drunk.
19. [ ] who was high....
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [X] who i had just met
25. [X ] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall
31. [ ] at a show.
32. [ ] at the beach.
33. [ ] at a concert.
34. [ ] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [] in the rain. (I want to though..we'd be like Allie and Noah)
37. [x] with a mole on their body
38. [] in the shower
39. [x] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [x] in the movies.
41. [] in a bathroom/laundry room
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [ ] under water
45. [] while driving
46. [X] a stranger
47. [ ] more than one person at once
48. [x] crying
49. [x] goodbye forever (I didn't really think it was goodbye forever but I obviously it was)
50. [x] when i was drunk.
51. [ ] who didn't speak english
52. [ ] in a hot tub
53. [] in an elevator
54. [x] an ex
55. [X] last night.
56. [X] Just today.

Well I guess I should go get ready to go to Aarons tonight. Have a good weekend everyone!

<3 Ashley Megan!!

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You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

4 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 15 March :: 10.49pm

If you see me walking with someone else, it's not because I love him. It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me now.
If you see me smiling, it's not because I've forgotten you. It's because I'm tired of crying for you.
If you see me living again, it's not because I wanna get back at you. It's because I want to get back what you took from me.
But most of all
If I fall in love with someone else, it's not because I wanted to.
It's because you were never there to catch me and love me back.


This is so difficult for the both of us. I know I tried so hard, there's just no hope right now. Well it's more than a shame that I lost to this game. All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing- -
nothing will ever be the same.


Tails

:: 2006 14 March :: 3.11pm

risk...tonight. eurasia is mine. ruby you die tonight my friend. your blood...she shall spill.

5 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2006 13 March :: 9.58pm

Well let's see here. The National College Fair wasn't all that bad. None of my friends even knew what it was. We honestly went just to get out of class and Mr. A told us we'd get free pens which was a lie lol. Not that I don't have enough of those anyways but out of all the colleges I was only interested in two of them which are both in California. Imagine that? I know. I sort of want to go to The Fashion Insitute of Design for fashion design obviously. I don't really know which one I'd go to. They have a school in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Orange County, and San Diego. I've would probably say Los Angeles or Orange County and then the other school is The University of San Francisco. So besides those two schools, the whole thing was a big waste of time but we missed almost the whole day so I guess I can't complain too much. I was talking to the guy that works at The Fashion Institute of Design and that is where LC from Laguna Beach goes. Haha I made sure to ask him that. He said he knows her pretty well. Well, thats nice. I'm not going to go there just because she does because I honestly could care less it's just I thought that was pretty interesting and I don't even know if I'm going to go there in the first place. It's just a small option I have. I still really really want to go to USC. I don't even know yet.
Okay so enough college talk.

I feel like my house is going to blow over any minute. That might be unfourtunate.

I can't let you go. It's who I know.

<3 Ashley

4 Comments | Comment?

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