thedarkerside
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2003 8 August :: 9.22pm
:: Music: none
none
Stoffers french bread pizza would so taste better if it just was bread and sauce...
I was waken up at like 10
went to champion.
I saw Ariieeeeee.
Did what people do at champion
I left.
Took at 2 hr nap.
Went online.
Ate french bread pizza.
Ate a fruit punch starburst.
And now i'm here.
the end.
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thedarkerside
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2003 8 August :: 1.51am
:: Mood: sleepy
Interesting.....1:46 am and no ones online...thats weird? LOL
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thedarkerside
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2003 7 August :: 8.32pm
:: Mood: nothing that one word could express
:: Music: none
........
I had a conversation today..the only conversation in my whole life that has ever made any sense...because what was being s said actually had meaning behind it...thank you arie. I want to grow old with you.
The world isnt what it was supose to be. We were misguided as children to believe that our world would be so bright and that everything would be so intriguing. It was almost like each of us would make a difference. I dont see how if I just stoped caring about anything remotely important how that would change the world..I mean..I'm just one person..what difference could it make. As soon as you hit 18..graduate high school or not...go to college..then right as your out of getting and education its like no one could give a shit about you. In others eyes who dont know you.. you mean nothing to them. If they were to wake up the next morning and read about your death in the obituaries...it wouldnt matter to them..it wouldnt effect their lives... everyones out for their own lives..they dont care about you. Unless you were related...I dont want to grow up to make a difference in the world. Because theres nothing that I can say that would change over billions of peoples minds that would make a difference...All I care about is getting out of school..having a well over decent job so I can live the life that I want to...get out of having all these restrictions. I thought this was the land of the free.. Wheres the freedom? There is no freedom unless you hold some sort of power. I want that power so that I can just be happy for once...maybe for more than a day..or a week....
thats all i have to say.
1 made me bleed |
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Tbaby92588
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2003 7 August :: 8.04pm
:: Mood: I have menstrual cramps.
:: Music: I alone [Live]
I alone love you.
Kathy bought air fresheners that resemble paper weights and put them on Kurt's window-sill, as if to trick him into smelling nice. It's a decent change. It normally smells like socks and frech fries.
Gaaaaaaaaaatorade. in living colour.
[Note the Canadian spelling.]
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thedarkerside
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2003 5 August :: 3.45pm
:: Mood: content
Life sucks.
Then you die.
I should just get over it. Life Sucks. There I said it. It does. Theres nothing else to say about it. "Well just think about all the good times" Well...all the good times always get drownded out by things that..suck.
I've given up stuff that I've loved. For the sake of myself but why does it hurt so bad that I cant even reconize my actions. Why do I have to be so critical with my life...why...I cant live like this, but I do and thats what makes it ten times worse.
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thedarkerside
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2003 5 August :: 2.03pm
:: Mood: content
quiz
YOU RAN OVER A SMALL CHILD AND LEFT HIM TO DIE!!!
what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla
this is funny.
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thedarkerside
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2003 4 August :: 5.48pm
:: Music: none
Today.
Woke up early (10) so I could go tanning and to champion. Champion was kindof packed but not really and Mirage was like a ghost town so I went in there for 10 mins and did my tannin. It felt good although i got burnt cuz I forgot my lotion lol oh welll.....
Lastnight I wrote some more and managed to finish out my notebook. Well actually I only have like 2 pages left. and the pages are pretty big. It only took me almost all summer to fill it out. But I have another one though. Someone remind me to get calligrafy pens/markers on like saturday or thursday night so I can get them lol. I love you calligrafy.
I have officially decided that my whole life to this point so far is best explained on the Linkin Park Meteora CD. Thank you that is all..but before you leave heres a song that expresses me at the moment....
LP- Breaking the Habit
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
(Unless i try to start again)
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
Cause inside i realize
That i'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why i have to scream
I don't know why i instigate
And say what i don't mean
I don't know how i got this way
I know it's not alright
So i'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
Cause inside i realize
That i'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why i have to scream
I don't know why i instigate
And say what i don't mean
I don't know how i got this way
I'll never be alright
So i'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why i have to scream
But now i have some clarity
To show you what i mean
I don't know how i got this way
I'll never be alright
So i'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight
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thedarkerside
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2003 3 August :: 7.59pm
:: Music: none cuz my kazaa wont work
Today...of all days
Damnit it just had to rain and be shitty out. I didnt get to go shopping we drove all the way to woodland and it was worse than rockford with bad lightning and the sky was so black and it was pouring so we just turned around and went back home. I missed out on getting new clothes and a feather bed for my bed ........grrr..oh well...Just wait another day. I can do that I.
I had cupons for gadzooks and ae lol I was so excited to shop
Enchilladas are good.
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thedarkerside
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2003 2 August :: 8.05pm
:: Mood: saddened
:: Music: none
....
I sat in my room last night. Just sitting there with my portable right next to me with my headphones on. I sat there and wrote. Wrote down everything that was bugging me…everything that just was making me feel like crap. Whenever I write. I always end up exposing things that I never knew that I thought about…things that just maybe have bugged me in the past or things that were being covered up on my behalf because of guilt or other reasons. I’m just. I don’t know. I’m just mad. I’ve figured out that I’m this person… this person that doesn’t like confrontation…that doesn’t like complications…I just wish everything was simple. I wish my life and what I’m thinking wasn’t so fucked up.
Leaving
What was left behind
Throwing it all away
Forgetting how I hated everything about you
Even though I really didn’t at all
Forgetting everything I ever wanted
Because I could never have it
Just to be wanted
Needed
But I threw it all away
Just so I could let go of the pain
That would still eat away at me
Even though you’re gone
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I think I’m doing the right thing…even if im not I have to
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thedarkerside
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2003 2 August :: 1.18am
:: Mood: ick
Ick
I cant sleep i feel like i'm gunna puke
Tom greens on. Watch it. It will be fun.
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