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babaloo181

:: 2004 12 February :: 4.17pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: number 5 on the DC cd

YAY!!!
OMG GUESS WHAT?! colin asked me out!!!! well not like hey u wanna be my girlfriend asking out but.....u'll see ... lemme start from the top....k well we were all walkin from lunch to our 7th per. and it's me, shilpa, and megan in the front and in back of us..colin and adam. so as im walkin, colin calls my name so i turn around and walk back to where he was...and we started walkin together and he's like....."so hey ur mom doesn't let u go out rite?" and i was like "ya...she does just not to someone's house but im allowed to go to other places and stuff" so he's like "...oh..do u wanna go out wit me sometime?"....and me being the dork that i am....just looked at him wit this huge smile on my face...hehe i was like "sure.." and he's like "where do u wanna go" i was like...uh i dunno he's like.....iceskating? i was like haha no i dont know how to skate that would be a disaster...so ya we were walkin and tryin to think of a place to go....haha as we're talkin megan and shilpa are like overhearing in front of us and like freaking out..(and not in a subtle way lemme tell u) and so w/e i get to latin class...outside the door and he's standin there wit me......and shilpa keeps walkin and she's like "ill definitely call u today thaimi!" and megan's like "yea go online!" and i was like.....ok......haha then colin goes like "..oh u have a screen name?"...i was like ya.... he's like me too....i was like......i have a pen too! hehe so i got out a pen and wrote my sn on his hand...and he's like ull know it's me when i IM you..i was like okies...and i walked away wit a HUGE smile on my face....haha omg...he's so cutieful! ooh ya some more stuff happened earlier....well after physics it was me, him, and ho walkin and him and ho were like jokin around arguin....like they always do and well colin's like oh yea ho im so much cooler than u.....and ho is like says who? and he's like well cuz i have much cooler friends.....and he's like oh yea like who? and colin just like extends his hands out to me like...look rite here cool friend...and he's like "thaimi's muy muy cool...she tiene mucho cool" hahah he's such a dork but he's so adorable. OMG something else happened that i have to tell u guys about...spanish guy's tryin to get back together....cuz like in piano class we started talkin bout why he was pissed off at me and why i had been pissed off at him and yatty yatty yah...but ya then he tells me that he had gone to this church school thingus and while he was there he had talked to like i guess the preacher person....and they told him that it is ok to go out wit someone who's not christian u just can't marry that person or have sex with them......so ya he kept lookin at me in this way like wowsers....i was like....agh now?! ur late....i've moved on....but ya ima have to tell him sooner or later.....but that's just if me and colin hook up....which im wishin and hopin hehe. alritey well ill keep u guys updated... buhz byez

tonite's song: you'll think of me by keith urban

1 comment | Say what??


cutie2187

:: 2004 12 February :: 3.51pm

okay...i just want to just say this...try to advoid human contact...life is much easier when you do!

wow the band all that's left is hot..

You Don't Amount To Anything- This Time
by Embrace

I don't want to stay forever
Lift a hand to make you better
You don't amount to anything
This time
Give it in before you lose control again
And no we'll never be the same
You amount to nothing and you're never right

Say you feel the way I do
Everything is beautiful outside tonight
I know it's over, it's alright
You're gonna change
The way you say my name
It's for the best
For the rest of my life

You don't want to learn your lesson
Bow your head to someone better
Loneliness will have to see you right
Let me win before I lose control again
And know you'll never make the grade
You don't amount to anything
Not in my life

Say you feel the way I do
Everything is beautiful outside tonight
I know it's over, it's alright
You're gonna change
The way you say my name
It's for the best
It's for the rest of my life

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cutie2187

:: 2004 11 February :: 8.54pm

fuck you angela...man why cant people just leave me the fuck alone...arg fuck her...

i like this song!

Make Believe
by Early November
Is enough to believe that you are real?
Sometimes it gets tough believeing in myself

Or is it just me?
It could be that I'm always wrong
I hear it in my head
Twisting and lies,
closure I long

But I forget how you broke my heart,
or how you find yourself
so deathly falling for someone else, dear
And everytime
something like this happens
you always make it seem like I've done something wrong to you

Well guess what
I cant do this anymore
So next time
you're thinking about telling me what I do wrong,
think about all I let myself FORGET!

Why cant you have me and be happy at the same time??

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babaloo181

:: 2004 11 February :: 4.31pm
:: Mood: alritey
:: Music: rapid hope loss by dashboard confessional

hey
hmm...today we got the nhs forms...im scared cuz i have like no leadership....im thinkin of makin it up but i dont wanna....cuz if they find out...omg i wont be able to get in at all...agh oh wellz let's not talk bout that...hmm....colin looked so cute today......haha omg u guys wanna hear what he did today?! well he got this pepsi bottle and we all filled it up wit like pepsi, mountain dew, oatmeal raisin cookie pieces, reese's pieces, starbursts, and ranch dressing! eeeeeewwwwie hahah and he shook it all up....omg it reeked and it looked as adam would say "crap brown" hehe. but anywayz that's not the worst part...as im walkin to latin wit everybody i feel someone like tuggin at my bookbag so i turn around and it's colin....so me and him start walkin together...outta nowhere he's like "hey do they allow food or drinks in the latin room?" and im like...."uh...no...wait yea as long as it's closed i guess" and he goes oh ok good.....so im like "ooh did u put it in adam's bookbag?!" and he goes.......no i put it in urs....haha rite there i freaked out! i was like WHAT?! omg so i look at my bookbag and in the side pocket he had put the pepsi bottle so i go to take it out....and i get ranch dressing alllll over my hands.....OMG IT WAS DISGUSTING! i was like eeeeeewwwwwww that's sick! haha he's like....woops i thought i had wiped all the dressing away..srry hahahha i wiped it off on his shirt hehe and i was like u butthole haha so i hit him on his arm and he's like 'I SAID SORRY!" heheh and he like took it out haha. he was walkin in front of me and i grabbed his bookbag and i was like that was yucky....funny but yucky! hehe... so ya we kept walkin to latin and we said bye and he kept walkin.....he's so cutieful. yay tomorrow's a day two....that means it's walk with colin from physics day....he walks me from physics to my locker and from my locker to lunch every day 2....ima try and do this thingy megan told me to do. she told me to like link my arm with his while we're walkin and be like "let's go buddy" and kinda like skip along....so that way i have an excuse to grab his arm....cuz she told me that his ex did that and when she did he grabbed her hand and they started like holding hands....so ...ya i mite do that hehe. hmm...im learning how to play because you loved me by celine dion on the piano...i suck though.....i hate playin the piano now cuz it's so hard....grr. oh wellz i have so much hw to do tonite...and ima watch american idol tonite so i gotta get it all done by 8:30....hmm alritey wellz ima go buhz byez ppls.

tonite's song: without you by saliva

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cutie2187

:: 2004 11 February :: 4.44pm

anywho...today is just whoa...and i feel odd...i dont know how to feel...hehe whatever...bye

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cutie2187

:: 2004 10 February :: 3.50pm

well well i hate the scar on my lip...i feel like my lips look odd...i dont knwo where this came from...but it just came to head

i want to download this song...i will once i get on the other comp..hehe

the julianna theory - august in bethany

With the sound of the ocean crashing,
7:30 Friday evening,
Everything comes tumbling down

I choke back each tear that bleeds,
I'd rather rest forever in your arms
I'd rather stay here, than go,
But I know that I should leave

As I sit here helpless

(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you wouldn't
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you couldn't
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you wouldn't
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you couldn't

I think of our time together,
Is it fading, or am I dreaming?
Everything you said lives on
I cherish our memories
I wanna kiss your tears away tonight
It's hard to give up the one you never thought you'd leave

Don't go
Don't go
Your eyes, they see through my soul
Don't go
Don't go
You say as I walk out your door

With the sound of the ocean crashing,
7:30 Friday evening,
Everything comes tumbling down


marilyn manson - the last day on earth
Yesterday was a million years ago
In all my past lives I played an asshole
Now I found you, it's almost too late
And this earth seems obliviating
We are trembling in our crutches
High and dead our skin is glass
I'm so empty here without you
I crack my xerox hands

I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye

The dogs slaughter each other softly
Love burns it's casualties
We are damaged provider modules
Spill the seeds at our children's feet
I'm so empty here without you
I know they want me dead

I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye

I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye

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babaloo181

:: 2004 9 February :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: purdy good
:: Music: hands down by dashboard confessional

MAMMA LAMMA!
howdy ppls....hmm...haven't updated in a lil bit....lots has happened since we last touched bases. well me and donna r back to bein amigas again which is cooliarisimo...(i dont like bein angry wit ppls) but ya it's nice. i mite go to her house this weekend if my mom's not trabajando.....my god what's wit this spanglish all of a sudden? lordy lordy lordy. well tomorrow im tell shilpa to tell anthony to tell colin for sure! haha i feel like im in the 2nd grade again.....agh....valentines' day is comin up....STUPID HOLIDAY! all couples should be burnt in hell! haha....cept those i actually like......like donna and marcos and alex and inna....but other than that! HELL! hehe...im so sweet huh? wellz....i dunno what to say...um...tomorrow's fcat writes....all i have to worry bout is readin the prompt correctly..other than that..i got this shit. hehe...first spanglish and now im all ghetto...wowsers. alritey well im just like babblin on and on so ima stop ahora. buhz byez

tonite's song: i'll make love to you by boys ll men

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cutie2187

:: 2004 9 February :: 6.03pm

man im the happest lil girl in the world...i talked to thaimi for like almost two hours till my phone went dowmn...she might come over this weekend...and i have marcos...and just yey!...i could die right now and ill be happy...but i cant cause i jsut cant things are going good...also its not cancer...my grandmother doesnt have cancer its just a really bad infection and alex is here right now...so i have to go..i got to entertain...i missed him..i remember last x-mas when me and him started talkingagain...well gtg bye bye bye bye MUAH

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cutie2187

:: 2004 8 February :: 8.53pm

well well well...donna's first entry in a long time...and im actually realyl happy and free as you guys read from my other entry...im just like whoa right nowl...infacturated(sp) with life...i mean seriously its odd...i can be soo negative and hateful and angry for soo long and forget taht it does get better...and it does...its like wow...i lost a friend but i gained one...i lost carrie....but that doesnt matter does it...and i gained thaimi back...i mean we just talked a lil...even if we dont become friends again or anything...its nice having her again...being friendly...just its great...i missed her a bunch..we just been though a lot together...i just never had a friend like her...so then i have marcos too...i know he likes me and i know i like him...and its just really good...he waited for me to be ready and that just made me respect him and stuff...i just know he is a great guy...i will end up hurt i bet and i will end up emo at times...but hey thats the risk you take with stuff...and its worth it...wow things make sooo much sense right now...hehe...wow...donna is being soo dorky...i feel too right now.....im the only happy one in my family...because everyone is sad about my grandmother...oh yea i havent told you guys.,...her mass in her lung has gotten larger and they(docters) found spots on her lungs...so they are taking tests tomorrow and there is a huge chance its cancer...so my grandmotehr has lung cancer and basically only has a few years to live...becuase most people dont survive from lung cancer....80% of them die....so hopefully my grandmother is one of lucky to live....man i hope so i lover her so much and i worry about my grandfather...he is like my dad since my dad is an ass and dosnt care so i at least have my poppie hehe...right now im just denying it all....but its okay...i have to be strong for my mommy...since my dad has no sympahty and is treating her like shit....man i wish i could kill him.....i would with my bare hands...but jail...i dont want to be a virgin to guys and then be raped daily by woman...hehe great thinking for donna...go me...then jerrica man she is awesome...she is my turtle lover...then hmmm...i need to cheer up puja...got some things to do tomorrow.....yey...and then im mad too....driggers cheated on nessa...yes...she should have known if he cheated on me with her...but whatever...thats gay...hehe oh wellz...its all good...v-day is sat and i finally have someone for once in my life....and so sat we are all going out for like a v-day thingy..me and jerrica and everyone else...it will be very fun hopefully...brrrrrr im cold...someone warm me up...where is he when i need him...hehe awww....i dont think ill let him read my journal..oh wellz...i just cant stand people....whosh poor rotc lost i think....oh wellz ill find out tomorrow....i watched rotc pratice thursday afternoon and they were like whoa...i could never do that stuff...well im a sissy...hehe not really....i gave my sister a hicky...hehe i got a lil umm i cant say...so ya i kept biting her back and gave her a hicky...so yea.....well i got to go....bye bye my luvs...you are all great....muah!!!...bye bye !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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cutie2187

:: 2004 8 February :: 11.01am

giving youself time after things happening does help...thanx for the advice...whoever told me that...i havent felt so happy and free in so long...it feels really nice :-)

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cutie2187

:: 2004 7 February :: 2.27pm

i like my horoscope today:

Don't try and fight it. There's no need to stick around this place any longer. Keep your back to the wind and let it take you where it wants to. You won't always know where you are going to end up, but that's the best part.

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babaloo181

:: 2004 7 February :: 11.34am

boredom...and it's effects
The Generic Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?:no
Do you party a lot? How often?:no
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?:haha no
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?:3 times ... if that?
Do you skip classes? How often?:no...never....and i dont plan on it
Do you have casual sex? Protected?:virgin..haha i feel like such a goodie goodie so far
Do you steal?:no..the only thing i've ever stolen was like a pen
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:um...not really
Do you drool over celebrities?:hell yeah...justin's my baby daddy
Do you watch a lot of TV?:ya
Do you ever watch the News?:like once in a blue moon
Do you even care about world issues?:not really
Do you read books often?:yep
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:none
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:at school yea....at home nope
Do you smoke cigarettes?:oh god no....that's sick
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?:rarely
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?:haha who doesn't?
Do you cuss a lot?:only when im pissed
Are you desperate to fit in?:no
Are you intelligent?:i would say so .. yes
The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?:ehhl...no
Black eyeliner?:occasionally
Black eyeshadow?:no
Black trenchcoat?:no
Black boots?:u mean like hooker boots? hell no
Black fishnets?:hell no wouldn't be caught dead in those things...not a prostitute
Black nail polish?:occasionally
Cigarettes?:no
Heavy metal music?:some
Marilyn Manson?:no
Kittie?:they're alrite
Cradle of Filth?:neither
Constant frown and perpetual angst?:neither
Do you like to be seen as:as a goth? no
Are you an intellectual?:haha not really...im a dumbass
An atheist?:i guess u could sorta call me that..
Horrible home life?:just my grandma..other than that no
Hopelessly depressed?:occasionally
Suffering with suicidal idealations?:no
Self-mutilation?:no
The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?:ehhl no
Big black boots?:i've already answered this...
Mohawk?:haha no but i think they're kick ass...colin used to have one haha
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]:no i want a tongue ring though
Loud, confident and opinionated?:yes
Wild hair colors?:no
NOFX?:no
Rancid?:no
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?:couldn't care less
A:A what?
The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?:like 132....ish
Do you watch a lot of sports?:no
Play a lot of sports?:no
Talk a lot about sports?:no
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?:haha i hate sports
Are you arrogant?:no
Are you a male or female whore?:haha...umm no
Are you homophobic?:nah they're alrite...as long as they dont hit on me im cool
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?:no
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?:um.....not a quivering mess no
Boobs = yes?:do i have boobs? yes...
Parties = yes?:do i go to parties? not really...
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?:haha no
The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?:ya
Have you ever been on a diet?:haha plz no
How much did you lose?:refer to previous answer
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?:haha no
Make yourself throw up?:eew no
Make-up?:yes
Low-cut tops?:yes
How big are your boobies? [Cup size]:D...
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?:no
Giggle a lot?:more like laugh hysterically but sure
What's the deal with boys?:some are hot...some are asses
Thongs?:occasionally
Pretty bras?:sure y not
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?:sometimes
Who's the weaker sex?:hate to say it but us
Are you a feminist?:nah
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?:hell ya
How often do you shave your legs?:only when im gonna wear a skirt or kneeknockers..
How about your armpits?:eew once a week
Are you emotional?:yes
Especially when on your period?:haha sure
This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.]
Originality or Acceptance?:originality
Independence or Companionship?:independence
Stability or Freedom?:stability
Personal or Interpersonal?:personal
Introvert or Extrovert?:extrovert
Popularity or Isolation?:popularity
Unique or Loved?:loved
Understood or Individual?:individual
You or Them?:me

How Stereotypical You Are... brought to you by BZOINK!

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babaloo181

:: 2004 6 February :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: regretful

k now i kinda feel like talkin.....
all im gonna talk about is what spanish guy said to me......it really stuck with me cuz i think he's completely right....he said that im too stubborn and "orgullosa" which means full of pride......he said that i can never back down and apologize when i've done something wrong. he said i can never be the first to admit i was wrong b/c im full of pride....and that that's the reason why im gonna lose a lot of friends and people i love in my life.....b/c if one doesn't step down and apologize once in a while instead of being pissed off with someone until THEY apologize...then one will find themselves lonely and without love. it scares me to think that what he says may be true.......i guess it's cuz deep down i know it is. i started to think that maybe that's what happened between me and donna.....and between me and guys that i've lost.....maybe it was all really MY fault?.....maybe i was too stubborn and full of pride to realize i was in the wrong....and maybe he's right....maybe i WILL lose all my friends because of that....god i dont wanna be that way....i dont wanna hurt ppl because im too full of pride to apologize or tell someone how i really feel......the scary thing is ... that the night before he told me that i was thinking that maybe i should apologize to him and tell him that i never meant to ignore him or hurt him.....but then i was like no....he did stuff to me too ... if anything he should be the one apologizing.....the fact that i thought that just proves he's right.....god i think there's something wrong with me......i can't let ppl know how i feel.......like when im sincerely sorry about something....i can never bring myself to face the person and say "im sorry"....it's ended past friendships and im afraid that it will only continue to end my future ones......i know i need to change, but i think it might be too late...so to all those that i've hurt and never apologized to .... i want to say im sorry....i never meant to hurt you....and i wished things were different right now...i should have had the courage to say im sorry.

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babaloo181

:: 2004 6 February :: 1.50pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: some french song on this french radio station

quick recap
not gonna type much but...hillsborough did win all around and i get to go to state but i dont know if ima be able to go cuz i dont have the moolah to pay for it which would suck....spanish guy talked to me and made me feel like crap....i dont think anythings gonna happen between me and colin...shilpa was mad at me but now she's fine....i got a bad grade on my english paper but she's letting me make it up....megan's making me a copy of the dashboard confessional cd....which is kick ass.....i've been practicing my french like crazy and mrs sager says ill be fluent by the end of high school.......well that's all i had to say bye.

tonite's song: without you by saliva

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cutie2187

:: 2004 3 February :: 5.33pm

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