playmate101
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2004 22 July :: 9.03pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: surrender // ashlee simpson
open up your eyes, don't u know u only get one life.
cheer camp was eh. but omg omg. i got my backhand spring on the cheese mat, by myself & 2morrow the dude from UCA is gonna help us with tumbling... i hope i can get it on the floor with a spot. =D i'm so intimidated with all the other girls' skills though. gosh, jealousy.
when i got home, i went straight to bed. i couldn't even bring myself to the bathroom to shower lol. but when i woke up, that's the first thing i did. =D
so my mom was talkin' to Cheri Hood from work. & Cheri was talking about how spoiled i seem because when i work... if there is nothing to do, i rest my head on the counter. & my mom was telling her to just tell me to get to work... but shit.. i work harder than half those people there... plus i got shit outside of work that i do... i won't dedicate myself to that fucking place. w/e.
so i'm thinking about going to get therapy. i don't think i can do this alone anymore. i hate sitting in camp or practice & getting those looks like "who wants u over here?" and stuff. idk i gotta find my independence in this world because i have this feeling that i'm bound to be alone. like... i don't even have a shoulder to cry on. whatever.
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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sammibaby
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2004 22 July :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: material girl
who loves shopping? sam loves shopping. i do, i do, i do0.
woke up around 10:30 and was told that i'd be left home alone. i was fine with that. but then they(mom, dad, and reece) decided to take me with them. thank god i went. we first went to the jewelers because my mom had a credit. she got a tri-gold chain, its really pretty and my dad got his wedding ring sized. and this is where i fell in love. with a bracelet that is. its gorgeous..white gold butterflies/flowers with diamonds. only problem- the price tag read $495. so im putting the beg on for my birthday. ya never know. then we went to the mall. got 2 Guess shirts, a jean skirt, and a black XOXO purse from burdines. a white Billabong belt from pac sun. and a shirt from express. so yeah, i did some damage. had some lunch in the food court. then it was time to head home. went to exercise at 4:30.
im gonna go now- eat, shower, and such. we're gonna rent Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. x0x0.
1 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeR |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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theroofisonfire
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2004 22 July :: 10.01am
:: Mood: deeply saddened
i've really been avoiding something. and i NEED to tell you guys, but i dont know how. tonight i will but i dont think anyone is as disappointed as i am.
5 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeRz |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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playmate101
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2004 21 July :: 10.26pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: love makes the world go round // ashlee simpson
when you say love makes the world go round. ---> my broke heart has no f*ing use.
....today i woke up at 9ish... somehow i ended up in my mom's bed? perhaps i was sleep walking... i do not know. but anyways, i threw on some clothes & went to the mall. my mom got her haircut & while she was doing that my sister & i walked around the mall. i finally got the ashlee simpson cd. its hot shit. some songs remind me of hilary duff though. =/ n other people say it reminds them of avril. *shrug* whatever.
so when i got home... i talked to jonah over the phone... and then... got off the phone with him & fell asleep. the stupid thunder & lightning woke me up. then later... our new suburban rolled up in our driveway. damn its so hot that i just wanna hump it lol. its like... got a dvd player / tv with wireless headsets to listen to the sound. then we have XM radio, on star, we are getting limo tint 2morrow & when we get back from vacation my dad is buying 24's for it. awesomenesssss! omg it is so hot. so we took it over to my mom at work, and of course i got to drive, and like... mike came out with my mommy & him & i talked while mommy checked out the suburban. omg awesome. n then... i came home... then we ran out to get wendy's but i didn't eat. wasn't hungry. then i came home & watched simple life two. omg i love that show, holy shit. u f*ing rock, lol. u silly bitch. that's hot. XXX. omg baseball players are f*ing beautiful and like.... i want them so badly. nicole reminds me of my attitude.... not nice. o well. haha. i love paris. she is so cute. anyways i gotta get to bed, 2morrow is our first day of camp. haha! woot. only laura, chelsea & nikki aren't going =/ o well, me, michelle, n karen n angie will have fun. <3 bye bye
2 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeRz |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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liddlebaby
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2004 21 July :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: ashlee simpson - pieces of me
aww
lol..how i miss chris..lol..i havent talken to him since my party..n just now i get a call from him..i looked on my caller id..i was like.um chris? lol he never callz me..lol..he callz me up..so0 drunkkk..lol..itz great..i miss those dayz..him n his high/drunk self.lol..lol..hez like melissssa mamii..sup..hahahaha..n im like haha? lol hez like oh man.i miss u so0 much..n im like r u drunkk..hez like..im just a lil buzzzzzzzzzzed out..a lil REALLY buzzzed out..lol..it was good talkin to him..hez like jeezus meli..why dun u call me..or try to keep in touch..n im like..from now on i will..hez like..iigh u better..n im like..but call me sumtime..wen ur not drunk..den he was crackin up for an hour..lol..wuta loser..lol..but i love him..hez my loser..i wuna hang out with him more.i miss him...jeez on other newz.im so0 sorrrre..ay yi yi..i cant even move..damn gym.now im talkin to eric <3 were guna hang out this friday.. =] iight imma go now x0o
1 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeR |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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sammibaby
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2004 21 July :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: dip it low
just got home...
from a wonderful night with amara. we saw The Notebook and may i say a.m.a.z.i.n.g. i loved it. i want/will own it when it comes out. i didnt cry like people told me i would do, but i did tear up a lottt. just go see it if you havent. other than that me and amara just caught up with eachother and looked through magazines. or as this random guy said, "forget it. they're looking through bitch magazines." whatever..lol. i missed her! it was definitely nice to see her again. hopefully it'll happen more often though.
im out. gonna call chiara. ttyl. x0x0.
1 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeR |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 21 July :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: happy/tired
Interesting day at the beach...
So Jimmy and I actually went to the beach today I didn't think it was gunna happen for some reason idk, but yeah it was nice seeing him since I haven't since the last day of school and it was also nice not having to sneak around in order to hang out like we used to.
Yeah so he came to pick me up and calls me halfway into my neighborhood to tell me that one of my neighbors up and died or something and there was like 2 ambulences in the middle of the street and he was all pissed off. For a split second when he said one of my neighbors was dead I thought he meant that there was just a dead guy in the middle of the street and he was calling me to bitch instead of calling the cops. lol c'mon it would have been a little funny. Then it got me thinking that like, what if we treated people who get hit by cars like roadkill. No one goes a picks up dead ducks off the road what if they just left a person in the middle of I-95 to just keep getting run over....I'm sorry those are sick morbid thoughts that shouldn't amuse me so much. Oh yeah and he also forgot all of his pictures from Europe to show me which was like one of the main reasons we were gunna hang out today lol.
Anyway we chilled at the beach for a while there were no waves whatsoever and the sun would only stay out for like 10 minutes at a time but it was fun watching jimmy's attempts at skimboarding especially when the water was so still. He kept falling on his ass and asking me how it looked like it looked any different each time it was pretty entertaining though. He was like yeah i'm gunna teach you now and he kept trying to get me to do it but after seeing what a dumbass he looked like I decided to pass, plus i'm sure if I fell at least one half of my bathing suit would have fallen with me and there were like 3 guys right near us watching lol. We started talking about our plan again to take a roadtrip through Europe together when we graduate it will be so great if we actually pull that off.
We were leaving when we ran into Jimmy's friend Barret and some chick I think I knew in middle school Barret wanted to try out the skim board so we hung out with them for a little bit before attempting (and yes i said attempting) to leave.
Yeah so we decided that the day world war III breaks out Jimmy and I are going to be hanging at the mall or something because us together is just the worst combination for bad luck. He goes to the beach all the time but today was the ONE day he had to lose his keys in the water. We ended up sitting in the back of his truck waiting for his dad to bring a spare for almost an hour. It was pretty funny actually.
Yup so he brought me home and got all molested by my dog lol and now I need to go eat something and take a shower so I'll write later.
~love~
2 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeRz |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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sammibaby
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2004 21 July :: 12.16pm
:: Music: gett his party started
everyone seems to be doing the
1. i prefer being called sam
2. my eyes are hazel, and they can change color
3. my middle name is ann
4. i do have curly hair
5. i have one brother and one sister
6. my favorite color is purple
7. i love monkies and butterflies
8. i love hugs and kisses
9. i hate when people judge me
10. i am a procrastinator
11. i am out spoken
12. im very independent
13. i enjoy alone time
14. but i also love being with people, even if we dont do anything
15. i will do almost anything for friends
16. even if i dont like it
17. my parents alomst divorced and my dad moved out for a week
18. i was forced to visit
19. i wanna go to UF
20. not sure if i wanna be a lawyer or a psychcologist yet
21. i am smart, im just lazy
22. i dont like people who are concieted
23. i love to help people
24. i like photography
25. i am a shop-aholic
26. i'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of 'ok' ones anyday
27. one of my interests are in archiology/geology
28. i love drawing
29. yes, i did have a piece in a museuem. but i was young.
30. i took dance for 6 or 7 years.
31. ib forced me to quit
32. i really dont think ib is THAT bad
33. i think since we all procrastinate- it makes it suck.
34. i will stand up for whatever i believe in..no matter who you are too
35. i have never tried drugs or smoking
36. i hate hilary duff
37. you could say i have a very messed up family
38. my grandpa passed away a day after my birthday. RIP charles
39. a good friend of mine was murdered because an idiot thought he was gonna rob his house, but yet, he answered the door and saw him running away. RIP mark
40. who answers the door for a robber?
41. i have 6 nationalities: italian, trini, irish, german, english, and venezuealan.
41. i love being girly
42. but i also like acting like a boy at times
43. food is a passion in my family
44. its one way we show that we love eachother
45. we now own a motorcycle
46. im attached to my cell phone
47. i do like taking care of myself--no im NOT superficial
48. i dont like people who think theyre better than ohers
49. i feel bad for nerds
50. i have never seen snow
51. i have never been out of the country
52. im extremely organized
53. its one form of therapy for me
54. i always write when im upset
55. to relax myself i like to burn candles and listen to the ocean
56. i like all kinds of music- for the most part.
57. i love being stupid
58. and i really love it when other people are stupid with me
59. i dont worry about the future
60. i try to be very positive
61. i swallow a lotta crap people do to me
62. when im really pissed, i hit things..but not people.
63. i like dancing in the rain
64. i think a family is very imprtant in a person's life
65. im mature for my age
66. i am a bit of a perfectionist
67. i think the beach is a great place to be when you need alone time
68. i think im cinderella
69. i adore the mountains
70. i love animals
71. i go away every summer with my aunt and uncle..along with my brother and sister.
72. i do not know how to do laundry
73. baking is another way for me to relieve stress
74. and its also really good
75. i have a banking account
76. i tend to take care of people. kinda like a mom would when theyre little
77. im not a morning person
78. i really like english
79. i actually like going to museuems
80. i think dinosaurs are cool
81. i fear sharks and dark bathrooms (dont ask)
82. i hate coffee
83. i scare very easily
84. i shake while i laugh
85. and i squeak
86. i can be very gullible
87. i was a girl scout when i was little
88. i used to live in coral springs
89. i was a safety patrol :(
90. i freak out when i see bugs
91. i hate complainers. people need to be more grateful
92. i think if people were to look at the good things in life insead of all the negative, they'd have less stress
93. nor would they get depressed as easily
94. i think people should always take responsibility for their own actions. you cant blame any one but yourself
95. my last name is hum-phrey not hump-free
96. i dont like crying, therefore i rarely do. unless the time calls for it
97. i like making people happy- even if i have to make a fool of myself
98. i dont like video cameras
99. and i do take pictures, just not by MYSELF
100. i never thought i'd reach this point.
wow. im def. done. x0x0.
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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playmate101
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2004 21 July :: 1.07am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: she will be loved // maroon 5
100 random things that i bet you never knew about me...
1. people can explain my feelings better than i can.
2. my middle name is Kristine & i wish it had been my first name.
3. i don't mind Briana, but i love when people call me Bri.
4. shopping, cheerleading & talking to boys are my only forms of therapy.
5. i love my friends in many different ways, yet, i couldn't categorize any of them as my best friend because they are all amazing.
6. i hate people who talk a lot about shit that i technically don't care about.
7. music is my comfort and i love to write my own lyrics.
8. but i would much rather be an actress because it has been my dream since day one.
9. i think that god punished me in 5th grade with chicken pox because i believe that if i didn't have the scars now, i would be too pretty for my own good.
10. my prettiness would bring me fame and things, and i don't think god wanted to put my family in the spotlight.
11. i rarely find myself being insecure, but everyone has their insecurities.
12. i'm really not ready to announce this... but i have tried to follow the tactics of bulimia and aneroxia.
13. solemnly believe that i didn't do it because i am uncomfortable with myself... but i've done it because i get caught up in believing since i am skinny, i should be that way.
14. this summer has been the worst for me... my cat was put to sleep, my boyfriend broke up with me, my parents have been threatening to send me away, i have indulged in eating disorders, and i am going to a new school ---> hopefully to find that friend connection that i've been dying for.
15. i am sickeningly independent on the inside.
16. i don't depend on boys, because they come and go, and i believe i'm decent looking enough to have enough confidence that i can find more.
17. i'd rather hang out with a buncha guys anyday, i find it hard to make friends with girls unless its a group like nikki, chelsea, & michelle who i can just be crazy with & stick together.
18. i'm horrified of alcohol & cigarettes, and i don't wanna be peer pressured into trying pot, just because i might give in and i don't want to.
19. my mom smokes cigarettes & i want to puke everytime i think about it, but my dad does pot with his friends.
20. i'm not afraid of the future... i just don't wanna grow up, i like being 16.
21. my family prefers that i was 4 years old again, because i was much easier to deal with.
22. but my dad's anger reaches so high towards me these days that he enjoys throwing objects like forks to my tummy & remotes to my head, only to say a weak, unacceptable "i'm sorry" to me afterwards.
23. i believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason, and you should never attempt to bring your past into your future... there is no need to let history repeat itself.
24. mr. g taught me that.
25. i loved him, along with mrs. stoughton, they got me to enjoy eighth grade.
26. i'm not conceited, just very comfortable with the way i look and act... i blame jonah for that lol.
27. i get eager to say "i love you" to people.
28. so don't be scared, i just like to say it, in hopes i can hear something meaningful, in response, coming from people's mouths.
29. i've only been jealous of britney spears, & the hot people of hollywood, because i could have had that lifestyle, yet i am so in denial.
30. nobody loves me the way i want them to, but i know, that doesn't mean they don't love me at all.
31. personally, i don't think people should have regrets.
32. i dream so much, that i could stay in bed all day & think about doing so many enjoyable things, and be happy the rest of the day, because i can pretend like i did them.
33. i get cold very easily, same with being hot.
34. i can't be mean to ANYBODY, but there are people that i just don't like, yet they have no clue because i am sweet to them.
35. i don't like when someone i care about is even slightly pissed at me.
36. i get nervous, my hands shake, and i tend to throw up.
37. politics confuse me, so i tend to not listen to them, i just want to vote for president and be done with it.
38. half of the time, i forget who is running the country anyways.
39. i don't believe in a family... technically, you are forced to live with strangers from birth & you grow up and learn about them & are forced to say you love one another because you live with them and they are labelled as family.
40. but what if you were too busy being punished and hurt to get to know your dad?
41. i am ashamed of my dad because of his temper, my mom = because she smokes, my sister because she snaps back, and my brother because he is into drugs and is wigger - ish.
42. i love my dad because he has given me so much, but he's too busy to give me his time. my mom, i love her because she will do anything for me and i can spend time and talk to her. my brother, i love him because him and i can be stupid without fighting. my sister, because she n i are just wonderful together.
43. i procrastinate, and i tend to not get things done, but i always seem to come out as the over achiever... or just on top.
44. what i wouldn't do to be a top priority in someone's life.
45. i admire --> britney spears, mariah carey, whitney houston, my mom, carol, eminem, ryan, & jonah.
46. i want two kids, but i can't see myself being married.
47. i pretend to be spoiled, but i'm not.
48. always found that school was a waste of my time.
49. tend to learn more reading and doing the work at home than in school.
50. i fear nothing but death.
51. it's not that i couldn't handle IB, i just wasn't comfortable there, at atlantic.
52. i adore sleep, but i can't stand sleeping in my own bed. but i have my teddy that i ALWAYS sleep with.
53. i'd rather sleep in someone else's bed, just because it's not "mine".
54. i wish to attend UCF because of cheerleading... and psych. and hema and jonah.... etc.
55. for some reason, i'm not eager to find a guy to love me, like everyone else is in dying need to feel a guy's arms around them.
56. the best way to ruin a relationship is to rush into one and start it off.
57. i know this is none of your business, but my period is irregular because of how fast my body weight changes.
58. i love the feeling of being alone and independent.
59. i have so many hopes and dreams but none of them have ever came true...
60. deep inside, everyone is the exact same... and that's how i know i can relate to everyone.
61. i grew up wayyyy to fast because i've always hung out with older people.
62. i miss bret daniel.
63. "she will be loved" by maroon 5 is my latest favorite song.
64. i've always wanted to have sex with him, but because we broke up, i'm glad i didn't.
65. i don't know if i can wait until marriage, but i'd love to.
66. my favorite words in the world are: fruit, doushe bag, and kinky.
67. i never realize when i'm being taken advantage of.
68. this 100 thing is getting harder than i thought.
69. i've always wanted green eyes, but lately, i'm thinking twice about them.
70. i love collecting and counting change.
71. but i don't like the way change smells & how it leaves your hands smelling.
72. i never liked taking pictures until i saw the ones that brittany took of me back in December 2003.
73. i wish danielle & brittany didn't have to grow up. i'm still ready to make more franklin tapes & water balloon fights...
74. if i ever get a boyfriend, i want to go out and have fun, but be able to hang around the house during the day & watch movies and munch, plus it'd be nice if he became friends with my parents.
75. i will never forget when brett came over and watched football on t.v. with my dad a few years ago.
76. with the millions of guys that i have went out with... i've always seemed to have had... MY heart broke.
77. somehow i am still standing here today... and i'm not depressed and i don't have suicidal thoughts. i've had my heart broken... more than 11 times.
78. i love listening to other people's problems, but i feel guilty when i don't have any advice or any comments, i just like listening.
79. i miss my cat. and when my dog goes away... i'll miss her too.
80. ever since the day i was born my cat was in my life... she was 18, and had the same birthday as me.
81. ...my mom has the same birthday as me.
82. my cat was my only comfort.
83. i feel helpless for my mom... i want her to be happy & active like she used to be. work wears her out.
84. i think the weirdest things are hot.
85. i love my feet.
86. and my tummy.
87. you don't have to tell me twice... i have a big apple bottom, and if i sit on you, and you become a pancake... i'm truly sorry.
88. i don't like to read. i want to read, but unless the author puts the middle of the book in the beginning of the story... i won't enjoy it.
89. i don't think i would have a problem putting in contacts because i always touch my eyes, and i don't even blink, nor is it complicated.
90. i do love the ninety's.
91. my favorite numbers are all odd. 3, 19, 21, 69, 91.
92. i love accessories, and my favorite one would be either bracelets or purses.
93. i would die for a yorkshire terrier.
94. if someone tapped my butt repeatedly when i was a little girl... i would fall asleep.
95. there are such things as miracles.
96. i wish nobody had to die.
97. you are my support.
98. he has made me a better person, and i can't explain how much thanks i have for him and how much respect i have for him.
99. cheerleading is my anti-drug....
100. and so are you. i love you.
good night homie. xoxo <3
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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sammibaby
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2004 20 July :: 11.59pm
stole from kaila
| Basics | | Name:: | samantha aka sam aka sammi aka..... | | Birthdate:: | 12.o3.87 | | Age:: | 16 | | Birthplace:: | coral springs, fl | | Eldest, Middle, Youngest, Only Kid?: | eldest | | Family:: | mom, dad, sister- alex, brother- reece | | Pets:: | my baby- harley | | Life | | Do you go to school:: | yes..ib nerd | | What is your highest level achieved?: | 10th grade | | Religion:: | catholic | | Do you have friends?: | yes ma'am | | Do you like to be lonely?: | no..who does? | | Appearences | | What color are your eyes?: | hazel..but im told they change | | Do you like it?: | yes | | What color eyes do you want?: | mine are good | | What color is your hair?: | dirty blonde | | Do you like it?: | yeah.. | | What color do you want?: | a little lighter than it is | | Do you dye your hair?: | nope..all natural | | If yes, how regularly?: | never | | Do you wear glasses?: | nope | | Do you have a trademark?: | my eyes, the whole butterfly/cinderella thing is catching on though lol | | How tall are you?: | 5'2" | | What's your heritage/nationality?: | lol..italian, trini, irish, engish, venezuelan, and german | | Do you have the same hairstyle everyday?: | no..thats boring | | Do you think you look exciting?: | i guess/hope so | | Are you self concious?: | yeah :( | | Do you obsess over your looks?: | not obsess..but i can be picky | | Do you even care about your appearences?: | yesss | | How long do you spend in the bathroom?: | well, to get completely ready about a half hour | | About life... again | | Punk/Goth/Ghetto/Prep/Jock/Nerd/Other (list)? stereotype?: | i dont really fit into ONE category | | Do you pick your nose? In secret?: | no.. | | Do you like yourself? Life?: | for the most part | | Are you liked by people?: | i think so | | Do you want to become famous?: | no, just rich lol | | Do you want to make a difference in this big world?: | yeah | | Why?: | i just think some major changes need to be made | | Fun Stuff | | Which celebrities do you worship in secret?: | not really...maybe..i dunno | | Blues/Rock/Jazz/Classical/Pop/Urban/Country?: | urban | | Are you one of those people who diss fans of a music genre you don't like?: | no. i hate when that happens | | Which pop princess shits you?: | shits me?? | | Can you sing?: | i sing when im alone | | Can you act?: | depends when... | | Who is your fave actor?: | dont have one | | Fave movie?: | dont get to see enough movies to have one | | Backstreet Boys or Nsync?: | backstreet boys! lol | | Good Charlotte or Blink 182?: | good charlotte | | Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears?: | christina aguilera | | Slayer or Black Sabbath?: | huh? | | The Beatles or The Monkees?: | the beatles | | ABBA or the A Teens?: | a teens | | Guilty pleasure?: | dipped strawberries..cheesecake | | The Simpsons or Family Guy?: | never saw family guy.. | | MTV... yeah or neah?: | yeah | | Friends | | Do you have a group of friends?: | yes | | How many?: | well..i have 2.. | | To an onlooker, what would your group be viewed as?: | craazy, fun, loud, probably think we're high lol | | Who are you closest to?: | kaila, amara, amy, carlos, chiara, lisa, sameen, ashley | | Who is your best friend?: | didnt i just answer that? | | Are any of them bad influences?: | no..well maybe amara..jk lol | | Who are you in your group? The leader? The leader's bitch? The follower?: | hmm..dunno..both leader and follower | | Are you dirty minded?: | heh..i admit it | | Do you have any sexual feelings towards friends?: | no.. | | Generally, how are you viewed in your group?: | oh, im loved. | | Do your friends know you?: | i'd say so | | Relationships: | | Are you single or taken?: | single :( | | If single: | | Do you want to stay single?: | no | | Why are you single?: | how the hell would i know? | | Do you date around?: | i go out..but nothing serious | | When was the last time you have a bf/gf?: | :(..a whilee.. | | Life... yet again. | | Are you bored?: | sorta | | Can you play any instruments? Which ones?: | nope | | Math or English?: | english | | The Arts or Sciences?: | arts | | Technical or Creative?: | creative | | Are you poetic?: | can be | | How many babies do you want?: | 2 | | Do you spend most of your time on the net?: | depends what im doing | | What do you think of your country's leader?: | i dont think he's that bad | | Do you love me?: | sure.. | | Why?: | you took up my time | | What kind of meat do you like to eat?: | chicken | | What's your favourite food?: | chicken parmesan | | Drink?: | sprite | | I'm bored now. Wanna stop?: | yeah | | Because I am. |
A long survey to do when you are bored brought to you by BZOINK!
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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sammibaby
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2004 20 July :: 11.23pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: scandalous
OH MS. KAILAAA----
what do you want for your birthday?? i was thinking of that while watching tv..so i decided to put it in my journal. and i know you read it..so i'll be waiting for a reply!!
x0x0. love you!!
1 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeR |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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sammibaby
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2004 20 July :: 7.53pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: get out
relaxation is my new favorite thing.
it turns out i left my camera in chiara's car and she still hasn't returned it. so obviously, i haven't developed them yet :(.
what did i do yesterday? hmm..oh yeah. i cleaned. still working off the bill- but i might ask for the money so i can have it for the cruise. and then start working again to pay her back. i also need a real job. im looking at panera bread so far... who knows...
----> speaking of the cruise. my family finally told my great grandma that while we're gone, she's going to go to a home. [she can't take care of herself] heh, what happened you ask? she's extremely pissed. which i knew would happen. so yeah, she refuses to go and pretty much wont talk to anyone. i have no clue what's gonna happen. hopefully they can think of something.
today, i just cleaned some more. my grandma came over and dropped off our boarding passes. she hung around for a bit, but then she had to leave. my mom made curry chicken. [from the new cookbook] it was good..needs to be more spicy though. but i liked it. she was happy that it came out right. and my dad is all happy because this is the kinda food he grew up eating. pretty much everyone is happy with it. lol.
now im gonna go. ttyl. x0x0. <3
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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theroofisonfire
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2004 20 July :: 12.51pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: the washing machine humming
so i've ignored this journal thng for a little bit but what are you going to do? lets stop with the small talk.
the other day plans for coming back were going sooo great and i was feeling good about them too. my mom called my hosts (most of you probably know who they are) and everything was looking even better and stuff. but then theres a personal family thing that comes up with them (i really dont think i should say what) and we should get a call today from them with the news. i have faith that you'll see me in the near future. in the flesh. lets pray.
and omg Lance Armstrong! idk if you guys have been watching the tour de france but he is amazing. definitely in the top 3 athletes of all time. Sunil and i said Lance, Michael Jordan, and Pelé (the soccer player) were the top 3 (in no order) but its definitely arguable about who else can be there (Wayne Gretzky, Muhammid Ali, lets not forget Jackie Joyner-Kersee or Mia Hamm maybe even Chris Evert?)
ok so maybe thats all i REALLY REALLY hope to see you soon, i'm tired of waiting and tired of making you wait, if you're waiting at all.
i had sports team pictures i wanted to scan but the quality came out super bad.
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 20 July :: 12.56am
:: Music: beach boys-wouldnt it be nice...dont ask
this is one of those entries you shouldnt bother with...
well...I'm kinda idk what I am I'm just updating senselessly this is really mroe a rant for livejournal but I already updated that...
I read the notebook and I have to say I was disspointed as hell. Nicholas Sparks is a terrible author and reminded me of why I lean towrds the classics and modern english writers so much...americans authors suck these days they just keep writing crap and people read it thinking it is quality and they make lots of money off of amature level work. I men seriously I could have written some of that crap. He wrote an book entirely devoted to a love story which is risky because it has to be a damn good story to keep an audience intrigued, but not only that he wrote of these two lovers compleately driven by passion who were compleately complacent. He rushed through the conflicts of their youth compleately unceremoniously. You get no true sense of how deeply in love they were and the heartbreak they went through in each other's absense becuase he just fumbled through the entire backstory giving it to you reluctantly in bits and pieces in some attampt at literary device gone compleately wrong. The whole story was cheesy and the characters unconvincing in general. Books are supposed to sweep you into a new realm of reality to the point where you can believe anything they tell you because it is just that well written.
But yeah back to the complacency thing...one of the great paradoxes of life is that the greatest love stories are those arising from intense passion, but passion...is fed by strife and tragedy. There is heat there is anger there is nothing passive about it. Yet in the book when Allie is about to leave Noah for her finace after spending like 2 days of amazing sex together he just says ok well yeah I get it see you later. Nobody passionately in love would let them go without a fight. He wrote them with outside conflict keeping them apart which is good but there was no conflict within their relationship no heat nothing to fuel the passion he was insinuating. I don't think I am explaining this properly and maybe it was just me but...idk the movie was better and it's sad when the movie is better than the book it originiated from.
I never thought I could make it as a writer because I have yet to achieve that depth and richness in dialogue and character and plot development. It is always too simplistic and predictable and the only aspect of my writing with any possible merit is in descriptiona nd word usage. But apparantly that is enough these days so maybe I have hope yet.
I was so meaning to write about my weekend but bitching about retarded things comes so much more naturally to me
oh well...I'm a loser it's ok
~love~
1 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeR |
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spinoangel
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2004 20 July :: 12.14am
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: jealous sound - "recovery room"
sometimes i really can't stand being me. being in this body, having this mind, trying to control this heart. i go from one end of the spectrum of emotion to the very opposite end. and i know i can't change it and i know it's what brings me to my demise at the end of each day. but what am i supposed to do? half the time i'm praised for being such a great girl, for being charming and lovely and sexy and attractive and intelligent and hardworking. but then the other half counteracts it. its usually from myself and then my parents and usually its unspoken. i need to work harder, i need to look better, i need to fix myself, i need to control myself. i know that you know exactly what i'm talking about. how it feels when you feel like you shouldnt be wasting the oxygen. we all get like this. but how do we rise from it? sometimes i forget. sometimes i dig myself so deep into my insecurities and fears that i can't do anything but hide in this hole from the world because sometimes i believe it'd be better off without my stupid complaints. i know that that's not true. my personalities conflict with each other a lot. there's the christina that actually loves herself and knows others love her even more. and then theres the one hiding inside who just wants to be someone else, anyone else, to know what it feels like not to be ashamed to be who you are. ok i'm truly rambling right now. but woohu readers wont mind because there aren't many. but ya know. i dont know what else to say. i think i'm done. the thought comes into my head "i wonder what my mom will say about how i look on my wedding day" and then a tear falls down my face. i'm sure you all have similar insecurities. just thought i'd share a little of mine right now. not that i havent before. forget i said anything.
stood there and stared at the grief in my eyes.
leave it to me to live out a lie.
so i sat on the curb and i cried like a child.
catching my breath, just walked for a while.
and i thought... what could go wrong?
i'm already gone. don't say a word. i can't hear you.
don't hold me close. i can't feel you.
2 DiRt Off Ya ShOuLDeRz |
BrUsH Ya ShOuLDeRz Off.
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